Funny and positive jokes that will make you laugh from ear to ear! -Draft

1. Before you get close to me, you must think clearly. I am nothing but handsome.

2. If you think you have a physical problem, please do not search online. Every time I finish searching, I want to make a will.

3. When looking at beautiful women on the street, if you look higher, you are appreciative; if you look lower, you are a gangster.

4. You have to eat well and go to bed early. Don’t just rely on your appearance to stay up late.

5. I found that people are divided into two types, one has mental illness, and the other has low IQ and is not enough to suffer from mental illness.

6. After living for half my life, I really want to do something for the economic development of my motherland, but I am not qualified to pay taxes!

7. The exam is a matter for one person, but the score is a matter for the seven aunts, eight aunts, Lao Wang next door and a bunch of other people.

8. Good-looking people generally experience a lot of stories, while ugly people generally hear more stories.

9. Don’t always be single. According to your age, you should be a single turtle. According to your body shape, you should be a single pig. According to your IQ, you should be a single silly roe deer.

10. Losing weight is not that easy. Every pound of meat has its own temper. After the age when you can’t gain weight by eating, it is better to give up if you struggle.

11. Don’t always compare yourself with others. You envy others for being thin, and others envy you for having a good stomach. You envy others for being rich, and others envy that no one wants to borrow money from you.

12. Some people’s depression is hypocrisy, some people’s procrastination is laziness, some people’s obsessive-compulsive disorder is pain in their balls due to idleness, and some people’s insomnia is due to sleeping too much in class. .

13. Ever since I saw your household registration photo, I realized how easy it is to give up someone you like.

14. Don’t look at other people’s smooth sailing on the surface. In fact, they are also having smooth sailing behind their backs.

15. Give yourself some confidence and don’t take it personally as soon as someone mentions being fat, because you may not be able to sit down!

16. When a group of mosquitoes formed a team to attack, I felt like a boss for the first time in my life. It was a copy of the game and it also lost blood.

17. The only difference between high school and college is that the dog food in high school is distributed secretly, while the dog food in college is slapped on the face.

18. When you are angry with your boyfriend, first calm down and think about whether it is your fault. If so, then think about how to blame it on your boyfriend.

19. If you are a meteor, I will chase you; if you are a star, I will follow you; if you are a satellite, I will lock you; unfortunately, you are a gorilla, I will only Can see you at the zoo!

Twenty. When the temperature dropped to several degrees, there was actually a colleague in our office wearing short sleeves to work. The leader asked him: "Aren't you afraid of the cold?" He said: "I'm not even afraid of poverty, so why would I be afraid of the cold?"

21. If you can't take a step back to broaden the horizon, then take a few more steps back. Step; if you can't endure the situation calmly for a while, then endure it a little longer.

22. Don’t smile at me with your pirated Mona Lisa-like smile. My stomach is not as strong as you think.

23. Question: Why don’t I have a boyfriend? Answer: If you were as long as your selfie, how could you not have a boyfriend?

24. In the past, people often said, "It's better to stay at home if you have nothing to do, otherwise you have to spend money when you go out." Now times have changed, and it is easier to spend money when you stay at home.