Interesting humorous joke phrases

Humor is characterized by making people laugh, making people happy, joyful and cheerful. Applying this feature to social life will achieve amazing results. I collected some funny jokes for you. Come and have a look with me.

Complete works of funny jokes and phrases

1, planting grass doesn't make people lie down, so plant cactus instead!

2. I have a little thought, but I don't lack it; I have a good temper, but not without it!

3. The difference between people and pigs is that pigs have always been pigs, but people are sometimes not people!

It turns out that as long as people are separated, people who are familiar with each other will gradually alienate.

5, go to the pizza shop to buy pizza! The waiter asked me whether to cut it into 8 pieces or 12 pieces. I thought about it and said: 8 yuan! 12 can't eat!

6, men fool women, called flirting; Women fool men, called seduction; Men and women fool each other, which is called love.

7. The government thinks about how to tax reasonably, the boss thinks about how to avoid taxes reasonably, and I think about how to sleep reasonably!

8. Time is for wandering, body is for loving, life is for forgetting, and soul is for singing.

9. Love is like a ghost. Many people believe it, but few people see it.

10, how far is it forever? Get out, boy!

1 1, met a writer's signature: it may look like it, but it may not. I met a GG signature: Give me a girl and I can create a nation.

12, no one has stepped on my head since I turned into shit.

13, I want to puppy love, but it's too late?

14, my god! My clothes have lost weight again.

The important task after 15 and 80 is to manufacture 08.

16, people have plenty of backgrounds, but I only have my back ~ ~.

17, gold always shines, but when there is gold everywhere, I don't know which one I am.

18, reminding everyone that it is very important to learn how to repair notebooks! Once upon a time, there was a man who couldn't repair his notebook? Everyone knows what happened afterwards. (Since the Edison Chen incident, I won't say much about the reasons. )

19, I'm not a fortune teller in the square, so I can't say so much as you like.

20. It's not that the ending of the story is not good enough, but that we are too demanding of the story!

2 1, flowers often do not belong to people who appreciate flowers, but to cow dung.

The difference between a lie and an oath is that the listener takes it seriously and the speaker takes it seriously.

23. It's not difficult to be single, but it's difficult to deal with people who try their best to get you to end it.

Sometimes, it's not that the other person doesn't care about you, but that you take the other person too seriously.

25. Even if you believe it, there are lies hidden in the middle.

26. Real good friends are not together with endless topics, but together, even if they don't talk, they won't feel embarrassed.

27, no other half 100 points, only two people 50 points!

28. The people who are willing to stay and argue with you are the ones who really love you!

29. There is no rehearsal in life, and every day is live broadcast; Not only the ratings are low, but also the salary is not high.

30. Nothing that can be solved with money is a problem, but I am poor.

3 1, only women and heroes are sad, and only wives and jobs are hard to find.

32. after seeing me, you will suddenly find out? Ah, so handsome and so single-minded!

33. Ask a colleague: Did you buy PetroChina? Colleague said:? Bah! You just bought PetroChina. Your whole family bought PetroChina and Sinopec! ?

Selected humorous jokes

1. I wanted to die, so I bought a bottle of pesticide, and the lid said-another bottle.

I sing to the computer nervously. After singing, I collapsed.

3. Others laugh at me for being too slutty, and I laugh at others for not being open.

4. Confucius said: Journey to the West means the Monkey King chanting incantations, and Tang Priest is crazy.

I don't hate you because I don't want to remember you.

6. Those who always say that others are pretending to be forced, you are not even pretending to be forced.

7. Your smile is brighter than shit in the sun.

8. You are not a policeman in my mind, so you have no right to interfere in my direction.

9. Are you a dung ball from the dung beetles floor that was trampled to death by Wang Cai, a novice dog raised by Huashan mentally retarded master?

10. Why doesn't the country study bulletproof vests with your face?

1 1. Goose, goose, goose, cut the curve with a knife, pluck the hair, add water, ignite and cover the pot!

12. Even if you are already taken, I will use flowers instead of trees.

13. Now you don't have to wait in line to breathe and fart in Beijing.

14. So far, three apples have changed the world: one seduced Eve, one awakened Newton, and the other was in the hands of Jobs.

15. In this era of rising prices, I was suddenly delighted to find that the air didn't rise in price, but there were more and more materials.

16. Now hospitals can compete with ATM machines for money.

17. There are two birds in the tree. The hunter raised his gun and killed one. He found it hairless. He's thinking. Another bird flew down and cursed the hunter: MD, you shot her down as soon as I stripped her naked!

18. Taking the subway is a comprehensive sport that integrates Tai Chi, Judo and bone contraction.

19. The later you die, the more you deserve social security!

20. Monday syndrome: yawning, listlessness, listlessness and daze.

2 1. All the problems in the world can be used? What do you care? And then what? What do I care? Come and answer. Suddenly I feel so busy.

22. This wind is really obscene, and it makes my mouth thirsty.

23. Despising teachers is the duty of being a human being, the traditional virtue of the Chinese nation and the obligation of students stipulated by law!

24. When I was a child, my mother kindly said to me: Good boy, you will never starve to death if you learn this skill. So my mother taught me to eat!

Life is like anxiety. There is no accurate lyrics, but it is thrilling.

26. To sum up, many people nowadays pretend to be mature and old people pretend to be young.

27. Sometimes people will be ashamed of the city walls if they boast.

28. Part I: I didn't bring my student ID card and admission ticket. Part II: I didn't do the listening and reading composition questions. Horizontal approval: Focus on participation!

29. Men are dumped, the problem of money; Women are dumped, they look bad, I am dumped, and you are fucking crazy.

30. Commodities have a shelf life, and people sometimes get tired of looking at them. How long can you be awesome in my heart?

3 1. In the current milk powder safety environment like China, choosing a woman with big breasts is a sign that a man is responsible for his children!

32. Some people are alive, but he is dead. Some people are alive, and he should have died.

If my sister goes crazy one day, please tell others that my sister is a lady.

34. You strode in the pool, breaststroke, backstroke, butterfly, impressive diving! The old man on the shore was anxious: fuck! Did you drink up the cesspool and stop me from farming?

A complete collection of funny jokes and phrases.

1) Without you, the sky is so blue and the grass is so green, even the mental derangement becomes smart!

2) Don't ask for the right door, just ask for the right place.

3) Money, let us indulge, let us make money, without condoms.

4) There are three treasures in lies: everlasting, everlasting, and love till you are old; There are three treasures in Korean dramas: car accidents, cancer and incurable diseases.

5) The reason for refusing to confess is often that it is not appropriate for us to come from the same world. Am I from Mars? Not suitable for earth people?

6) I can't play chess, I can't write calligraphy, I can't draw, and I am tired of washing and cooking.

Love is a glass of wine. I carefully held it to my beloved, and he accidentally spilled it, so I poured water on it!

8) It took me several years to learn a perfect skill of picking up girls, but I forgot that I was a girl!

9) China's son preference problem, which could not be solved for thousands of years, was actually solved by real estate.

10) I drew a coffin, and you were lying in it with her. How nice of me to let you die together.

1 1) Even if you wash your hair, you should be very careful to avoid brain damage.

12) In fact, swans would be lonely without frogs!

13) the greatest happiness in life is to eat the leaves left between your teeth at noon and remember them slowly in the afternoon.

14) Every time Duan Yu knows a beautiful woman, his father will seriously say three words to him:? Your sister! ?

15) women are often eloquent but not always out of shape; Men are often numbers, not money.

16) Even if I am a piece of shit, I am also a piece of shit that can grow flowers.

17) When a person walks into the library, he needs to borrow a book "Suicide-Pointing to the South". The librarian roared, Get out! If you don't pay it back, you won't borrow it!

18) The myth of our dormitory in those days: there was an extremely awesome person who swept the mine in the Internet cafe all night, and another children's shoe watched him sweep the mine all night.

19) Once upon a time, a WOW player was afraid of being stolen, so he tattooed a secret treasure card on his wife's ass. Later, he was stolen.

20) The patient said to the dentist:? You really know how to make money. You made $3 in three seconds. ? The doctor replied:? If you like, I can play it to you in slow motion. ?

2 1) We don't produce people, we are just porters in the cemetery.

22) Lovers are always house slaves, and those who have houses always make ends meet.

23) It used to cost money to go to school, but now it costs money to work.

24) Part I: Envy, jealousy and hate; Bottom line: emptiness, loneliness and cold; Horizontal criticism: paralyzing my singleness.

25) The noodles were beaten by steamed bread, and I asked my cousin for instant noodles for revenge. Instant noodles are beaten when they see bean buns. When I came back, I said to the noodles, Don't worry, I beat the shit out of it.

26) Why do you wear a black vest in the shower? Oh! It's chest hair!

27) Be kind to yourself when you are alone; When two people are together, be kind to each other.

28) I know that you are worth tens of millions, with countless luxury cars, private luxury restaurants and modern agriculture and animal husbandry. Since you lost your QQ number, you have nothing, nothing.

29) Standing on the scale and seeing the displayed figures, I thought of a special literary word, which is difficult to fly.

30) I am not a playboy, I just don't know where to put my heart.

3 1) Does everyone know one or more people like news broadcast, and everyday life is nothing more than lying?

32) What a spicy society it would be if it were all ginger.

Living is your courage, and dying is your destiny, but I doubt if you are half dead.

34) Adults are overdue children and the elderly are invalid adults.

35) If you have time to learn Feng Shui, you can make up for the regret that you can't afford a good house before you die.

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