Seek the words of cross talk "On ridicule"! ! !

Quyi is characterized by being short and pithy, with one content at a time and one performance form at a time. Our performance is relatively simple and we don't need props. When two people arrive at this station, they will talk. Although there are two people, the audience still have to listen to me.

B what about me?

What about you? You're just deaf.

B what do you say?

Suit yourself, marry a daughter-in-law, and join in the fun

What is this called, cross talk? You're kidding. I'll take it. We'll take care of it.

What are you responsible for? The responsibility lies entirely with me. Look at me standing here, talking all the time. What's the point of holding a hat? Just stand there and say a few words, uh-huh, yes, yo, yo, oh, hey, and finally say "don't be scolded" and then bow your head, even if the task is successfully completed.

b！ Your "don't be scolded" is an old expression, which is no longer applicable.

Aren't you the same? What's new?

B Oh, after all these years of cross talk, I will say "Don't be scolded". It's really a good deal.

A that's true. What's the big deal about being a champion?

B What's the big deal? This cross talk between us is like a boat. You are the one who stirs the boat, and I am the one at the helm. You have to go wherever I tell you to go. You can walk around without me at the helm.

A: The example you gave is very appropriate. Our cross talk is like a boat. I'm the one who stirs the boat, and you're the one at the helm.

B yes.

A So, do you think sailing is the main thing or sailing is the main thing?

B is of course the main thing at the helm.

Not necessarily. In my opinion, rowing is still the main thing. There is such a play that can illustrate this problem.

B what's this play?

A "Fishing to Kill Wife", look at the old hero Sean standing there with his daughter Guiying at the helm. Who do you think is the main one?

B Which ship are you talking about? That's a fishing boat. If it is really a river barge, it is a big ship, but Guiying's little girl can't handle it. She must have rich experience at the helm. In other words, I have to have a high artistic accomplishment.

Yo ... how to cultivate yourself by saying "don't be scolded" Speaking of artistic accomplishment, you have to call me funny.

B but that doesn't mean I won't tease you.

You know how to tease people. Didn't you learn Doby hello when you were an apprentice? But why won again? I have studied for several years because I have high requirements for teasing ratio. He has no right to be teased. What should I do? I'm sorry to make him switch to selling rat poison. Come on, let's put him on the list. Anyway, nothing on the list is enough.

Not enough b material? Oh, you have forgotten everything the old man said.

What did Teacher Jia say?

B, three points for teasing and seven points for holding. You account for 30% and I account for 70%.

A I don't agree with that. In proportion, I am a joke, accounting for 99.9%.

Where is my champion?

A is 0. 1% ... weak!

B or weak?

If distilled water is removed, hand-fed food will be gone.

B if you say so, I 100%, you don't even have distilled water!

What's your hurry?

B I'm in no hurry. I've never seen you talk like that.

A: It's hard to say. You have to say this is important. Don't you know how to take it? Can you be funny?

Who says I can't be funny? Crosstalk actors can be funny if they can hold on, but they can't hold on without humor.

I didn't see you making fun of me when I first met you.

Let's talk realistically. Am I kidding? Let's not mention the past. Didn't I make a joke at Tianjin People's Theatre the year before last? Think about it.

Yes! If you don't mention me, I really forgot. Did you write it down in your diary?

B Why should I remember this?

Alas! I have to remember something. This is a glorious page in your history. I teased you once in my life. Can you not write it down? Just copy the genealogy in the future. Your descendants have grown up. Open the genealogy and have a look. Wow! Our ancestors said cross talk and even made a joke. Feel proud, proud.

B not enough! This makes me proud of my ancestors.

Besides, you didn't show your face when you made fun of it.

B, is it obvious?

Have you forgotten all the terrible things that day?

What's to be afraid of?

A: You stopped at a funny place that day, and your face was pale and your lips were blue, so you couldn't speak. You are shaking all over, as if you had stepped on an electric switch. The audience looked at this awkwardly. You said go, still waiting to hear the next scene, don't go, watching him feel uncomfortable, the audience also have ideas, some go out to cool off, some go to the smoking room to smoke, not to mention, none of the people sitting in the front row have left.

B what?

A This one has severe neurasthenia and can't sleep at night. The doctor gave him sleeping pills, and he couldn't sleep after taking 30 pills at a time. That day, he made a joke, and the man snored and was hypnotized. What kind of art is this?

B hey! What you said is so insulting that I won't argue with you. I'll tease you here today.

Don't make fun of me.

B what?

What should I do if you want to go to this station later?

B dare!

Answer!

One of them left and I killed myself!

Well, then no one will leave. Who do you think can bear to watch you die here? Besides, your size is a life.

Don't talk nonsense, I'm kidding, just stand there and give it to me!

Do you have to be funny?

Of course.

But you are responsible for all the consequences!

What are the consequences of b?

You are interesting, but you must entertain the audience.

B how fresh is it? Say unhappy people, what is that called cross talk!

A: You must have a point in this paragraph!

B sure!

A must say the right thing!

B's cross talk, I each said one sentence.

But let me talk too much.

B You talk a lot now. If you have something to say, say it together when you understand.

A dry bite? I'm dying!

B There's nothing to say. I'm going to be funny.

A joke.

Have you worked hard?

Yes!

B I went to your house yesterday!

Answer?

B came to your house, knocked on the door, and a man came out.

Oh!

At first glance, B I is not an outsider.

Alas!

B is your daughter-in-law and my eldest sister-in-law.

Yes!

B asks you if you are not at home.

Oh!

B I'm leaving!

Yes!

B I'm leaving!

One, you go.

B You go too!

A: Ah! Why aren't you funny!

B I can't make fun of it. You will have a disaster here: I'm talking to a dead ghost. Who can be happy?

Isn't that what A took? Well, alas, oh, by the way, don't be scolded!

B is that all? Holding hands is very important. The comedian stood there, absorbed, staring at the comedian all the time, matching different feelings according to the story of the comedian. Although the performers talk little, they should make the finishing point. If you don't believe me, you will be unhappy with the audience!

Comrade A, you are still incompetent!

B what if you have the ability?

A regardless of good or bad, if I amuse the audience, don't say there is a living person next to me, even if there is a telephone pole, I can amuse the audience.

Oh! Then how can I be better than that pole?

Why is A better than that? You are a telephone pole!

B ok! I'm teasing you. Let me ask you which paragraph you are talking about first.

A It's still in this period, and we want to entertain the audience.

Ok, I'll see where you get this pleasure!

Have you worked hard?

B yes!

I arrived at your home yesterday.

b！

A dozen doors, a man came out from them.

Oh!

A I'm not an outsider at first glance.

B yes.

A is your daughter-in-law and my eldest sister-in-law.

B, alas.

A asks you if you are not at home.

Oh!

A I'm leaving.

B don't be scolded! (Bowing)

Ah ... why are you going?

B I finished the task.

Where did you finish the task?

B "Don't be scolded", I'm finished! Didn't you just say that? After saying "don't be scolded", is it a victory to complete the task?

You have finished the task. I'm not finished yet!

B I don't care!

What is this? Although I can only say "Don't be scolded", I can't catch it anywhere. I didn't say much here. Want to say "don't be scolded" to everyone?

B what should we do?

A, you have to keep giving it to me!

No matter how I say "don't be scolded", I won't do anything else!

A: You can't always say this sentence. If I have the last sentence, you have to have the next sentence. At least you should answer my words!

Oh! Can't you just say "Don't be scolded"?

A of course!

B Well, you're kidding.

You were not at home, so I left.

You go, go!

A I'll turn the corner.

B turn, turn!

I met your father.

B no!

A what?

My father is dead!

A dead man ... dead? Dead! I met him, too

You met a body!

Answer no! I haven't met him now.

A flower, have we met?

A I met him two months ago.

B My father has been dead for over a hundred days!

A How do you remember it so clearly?

B I just went to the cemetery this morning.

Oh! I didn't see your father.

Who is this?

One, your uncle.

Oh! what did i say? Tall?

A: Ah!

Second, with small eyes, you can take a nap where you are sitting and play the pipa. You said "my uncle"?

A: Yes! That's him!

B My father is great.

You have no uncle?

B no.

A Then what you just said was so vivid. Who's that?

That's Hou Linbao!

Oh! It was your uncle that I met.

A brother of my father.

Your uncle!

B My mother's house is empty!

Your father-in-law

B I'm not married yet!

Your uncle.

B no!

Your uncle.

B no!

Alas ..... you are an old man.

B I has nothing to do with that old man!

That's your brother!

B I have no brother!

You have a brother.

B no!

You pretend to have it.

B what's this called? If I don't have a brother, I will say yes. As soon as I checked my account, my family was short-mouthed, so I lied about my account!

The whole family says you have a brother!

They are all joking with me.

A: Ah! There must be someone in your family anyway!

B No one, there are no relatives in our family, six relatives. I have to feed a yellowbird the day before yesterday!

Oh, who did I meet?

B no.

Do you think this is like life?

Why does b look dead?

A, do something You have to change it for me!

B Where can I exchange it for you?

A How can I be funny if I haven't met anyone?

B: Are you incapable?

No matter what a!

B what should we do?

Who did I meet? You have to say who! That will do. You must do as I say.

Oh! I have to do what you say?

By the way, as long as you follow me, I can entertain the audience.

B ok ... I'll do as you say.

I met your brother. You have a brother, don't you?

B I do have a brother.

Answer! I met your brother.

You can't just say you've seen it. You have to tell me what my brother looks like, what he looks like, what clothes he wears and how old he is. Only when you are right can you be considered as having met.

Isn't it over as soon as we meet?

B it's over, no!

Answer! I knew it since we met!

Ok, let's talk about what my brother looks like first.

Your brother looks like this. He looks like this anyway!

B how fresh, human and unattractive!

Your brother has a square face.

b？

No, that round face!

B yes!

One, that ... oblong ...

B rectangle? Duck eggs! My brother's head is like a duck's egg. Is this ridiculous?

Anyway, I know his face!

B what face?

A black face.

Hmm?

One, that ... Koko ...

b？

One, that ... blue ... yellow. ...

Oh! Foreign chicken! My brother sat there doing nothing. Change color!

A no ... anyway, your brother is ... he has pockmarked eyes. ...

b！

None of them are long!

B isn't this nonsense?

A: Your brother has a head!

What a fresh B! Without a head, is there anyone running in the street?

Waste of work! Your brother walks in front, and I'll take a look at the back. I know what he looks like.

Oh! I didn't see it clearly.

A: That's right.

Tell me what my brother is wearing.

A monkey in tulle fur.

b！

Does anyone wear a gauze monkey?

Who said that?

A is wearing a tulle gown, but it's not a gown ... it's quite short anyway ... it's like Hawaiian style ... it's like a suit ... it's almost like a Chinese tunic suit anyway ... so ... he's wearing a towel quilt. Oh, by the way ... he's naked.

b！

I met him in the bathhouse!

B hey! Nothing to say. He went to the bathhouse!

He is taking a bath there. I know what clothes he is wearing.

B look at this strength! How old is my brother?

A is over seventy years old.

b？

The old man next to A is over 70 years old.

B I asked the old man why!

Who are you asking?

B ask my brother!

One, your brother, he ... 27 ...

B yes.

No, 38 years old ... he doesn't want nine for seven or eight.

B is also a tiger in the world!

Hey, tiger head!

What a good tiger!

He looks like a tiger.

B I asked his age!

How old are you?

Why do you ask me?

Your brother is younger than you!

How fresh! My brother is older than me. Come on, don't talk nonsense, I have a brother, you can't touch him!

Why can't I touch it?

B He is only eight months old and can't walk yet. Where did you meet him?

This is where you are wrong!

B what?

Because your brother can't walk. Why did you let me see him?

B who told you to meet!

Aren't you a dreamer? Not a few words at first. You said "don't be scolded". I didn't meet anyone, but I finally met your brother. You told me you couldn't walk the red carpet. Is there anyone like you? Can I live with your support?

B yes! Do you look down on me so much? Do you despise me so much that I can't live?

Why does A look down on you?

B: You say I'm deaf, so I'll marry a daughter-in-law to play with you and join in the fun. I will play with you every day. It's a good deal. Ah! You account for 99.9%, and I don't even have distilled water here? I will say "don't be scolded". What annoys me most is comparing me to a telephone pole, which is made of wood.

Isn't that a joke?

Is it so funny?

I didn't know you weren't funny at all. I want to know that you are like this. Don't ask for it in the future!

Am I kidding you?

A Besides, can I tell two jokes to erase your artistic achievements?

Of course not.

Speaking of art, who can compare with you?

B that's true.

Your art is complete and unique.

B I dare not.

A Specifically, you have a clear voice, clear articulation, vivid performance and are good at teasing, so you can be called an all-round crosstalk artist!

You flatter me!

A is not praising you. Who doesn't respect you as a national crosstalk performer? You are the authority of phonology.

B where, where.

A You are a crosstalk master!

B no, no!

Humor master!

B: Good!

King A, your art is so high now. If you affirm your own advantages, overcome your own shortcomings and develop your own unique artistic style, it will take no more than three years at most. ...

How about b?

You will catch up with me!

Oh! Not as good as you.