Funny jokes from my school days.

Today, after dinner, I found a bench on campus and took a nap. When I woke up, I found some money in the rice basin.

2. Last time I helped a classmate lift the computer, I rented a scooter at the north gate. Then I rode back from the south gate. Near Nengke Building, a middle-aged man rode a bike quickly to catch up with me and asked me, "What junk do you collect?" This makes me very depressed.

3. When we were doing the graduation project, a senior in the opposite lab took three students from our grade to process the circuit board. The Yike factory near the southwest gate is said to have left with a broken woven bag. At that time, Lanqiying Community was under construction. On that day, there was a sandstorm that blew other disciples to the ground. When I arrived at the gate of the factory, I was stopped by the guards. They said it was used for processing. The doorman said, "Come here. One of you can write and fill in the visitor list! " "

4. Chinese exam. Explain the word "death". Student A: "Go to hell" (I wanted to write "Go to hell") The teacher was furious. ...

5. In primary school, a classmate recited poems, and the first three sentences were difficult to recite. The last sentence: "A line of egrets went west." Dizzy in class!

6. Fill in the following sentences in the Chinese test of Senior One, "When * * * cuts candles at the west window". I replied, "husband and wife sit until dawn." Correct answer: "Late rain time".

7. In a Chinese exam, the poem "Fill in the blanks" is a sentence in Bai Juyi's Peach Blossom in Dalin Temple (). The correct solution should be "I always hate that I have nowhere to find a spring home", and a classmate in front of me suddenly filled in "I always hate that village girls have nowhere to find spring".

8. In the biology exam, I asked what is a cell map, and the correct answer was "female fruit fly". A person in my class answered "female fruit fly". The biology teacher held a meeting to study n for half a day and decided to give 0 points.

9. In high school, I also filled in the next sentence of the poem. The last sentence is: "Luoyang relatives and friends ask each other"; One of my classmates filled in: "Just say I'm in Yueyang Tower".

10, a high school Chinese exam, also filled in the following sentence: "Mayflies shake trees, ()". One of my classmates wrote: Don't move. Is in line with the facts.

1 1, high school, biology exam, Q: What is the digestive type of chicken? I won't. A: Chicken type! As a result, the teacher criticized the whole class by name!

12, the last sentence is: "Egrets fly in front of Mount Cisse", and students can't hold back for a long time, so they scribble: "Climb a black turtle by the East Village"!

13, high school Chinese exam, write down an ancient poem. The last sentence is: "When the mountain blossoms", one person in our class actually filled in: I will try my best to pick flowers.

14, junior high school Chinese exam, the title asks the name of Mr. Lao She's masterpiece. A classmate couldn't remember, so I told him: teahouse. As a result, the man heard it: teapot lid. Be scolded by the teacher!

15, students use it to read the text, one of which is: take out the banana fan. Time-out should be taking out the banana fan. That classmate directly read: take out the banana fan!

16, when I was in junior high school, my deskmate read Dou E's Sinus of Injustice as the injustice of "selling" E. The whole class laughed. I don't know why.

17, there is also a math exam, and the last big question is to use two solutions to judge which one is correct. I thought about it for a long time, but I didn't come up with it. By the way, I mentioned a few words: fairness is fairness! The old woman said, the old woman is right! Look, it doesn't matter! It makes sense to think about it ... As a result, my math teacher read my solution through four classes in the whole grade, and I became famous!

18, Mao Zedong's "Yongmei" is being taught in Chinese class in senior high school, so you need to recite it for self-study in the morning. The teacher ordered someone to answer: "-she is laughing in the bushes, XX answers!" " "XX was eating and couldn't speak for a long time, but he said," Laugh, don't make any noise! " The whole class laughed!

19. My classmate was caught sleeping in high school politics class, and the teacher asked him about the function of China People's Bank. Confused, he glanced at the words in the book casually and replied, "usury!" "

20. Write the following sentence in the exam: "I was born useful". A gifted student replied, "The mouse son can make holes." The Chinese teachers in our whole office collectively laughed without image!

How are you? Why are you? How old are you? Why is it always you?

22. An overseas student from China witnessed a traffic accident in California. Because of curiosity, he never left. The policeman came and asked him if he knew what had happened. He said, one car comes, one car goes, two cars Pumbaa,

A car died.

23. One day, Xiao Qiang went to the movies. Arriving at the movie ticket office, he found a foreigner and a conductor even talking about being better than Fang for a long time, so he volunteered to be an interpreter. The conductor said, please tell her that the tickets are sold out now, only the standing tickets are left. If you want to see them, you must stand and see them. Xiao Qiang turned to the foreigner and said, No, sit and watch, stand and watch. If you see it, stand and watch. The foreigner replied: Sorry, I don't understand your English. Xiao Qiang said to the conductor, Oh, he said he didn't understand English.