What is the funniest joke in the world?

★☆Summary of the latest 22 hilarious jokes★☆I wish you happiness after seeing it!!!

1. When I was in high school, once get out of class was over, my classmates were all rushing to grab it. Go out and buy a packed lunch. In order to arrive before others, a girl took a shortcut, but the manhole cover in front of her was not properly covered and she fell down! After a while, she climbed up on the edge of the well, feeling very embarrassed. A group of junior high school children walked by in horror. She unexpectedly got wise and said while climbing: Hey! It’s really hard to cultivate... ★☆

2. When I was in middle school, I was bitten by mosquitoes while sleeping naked in the summer. I was itching unbearably in class, but I couldn’t reach in and scratch it, I can bear it! It hurts so much! During class, I stole a box of cooling oil from my classmate (a girl) and rushed to the toilet. After smearing it on, I regretted it--it was so exciting that my DD curled up and refused to go back! The lack of clothes in summer couldn't stop me, so I had to bend down and move back to the classroom, sit down and lean against the desk, not daring to move. The cooling oil had such a strong smell that my deskmate asked sharply: Did you steal my cooling oil? Where did you apply it? ! ——I would rather die than live!

I just opened the Coke and took a few sips. After shaking it, I had a spurt. I blocked my mouth and persisted until it finally sprayed out from my nose. ★☆

3. One day I got on the bus with a good friend. The front was full, so I ran to the back and sat down when there were just two seats left. There were two middle school boys sitting in the row. After one stop, a woman in her 20s led a 7 or 8-year-old boy onto the bus. (Later I found out

This was her child, :()

There was no seat, so I stood next to the two middle school students. After a while, the child got angry and said that his legs hurt. .

The middle school student stood up and offered his seat to the child.

The young woman said: Let the child sit on your lap.

The middle school student agreed. The child sat on the middle school student's lap.

After a few stops, a girl came up. She was very beautiful, and she was also wearing low-cut clothes. Short skirt.

The bus was driving, and the child suddenly shouted to his mother:

"Mom, my brother's little ass is moving! And his father's." Same."

Walking around!

Haha, there was a commotion in the car.

The middle school student was so ashamed. He pulled his classmates and shouted at the driver:

p>

"Ring the bell!!" (He wanted to shout open the door, haha)

Then, he got off the bus ★☆

4. When I was in high school, I woke up at home and ate two oranges. My fingers turned yellow after eating, and I went straight to school without washing my hands. In the afternoon, when I was with my classmates, a classmate said, "Why are you so disgusting?" I wiped my fingers after I pooped!" I said, "It's not poop, it's the orange I ate at lunch." After that, I rubbed my fingers.

It was terrible in two days, and the whole school knew about it. There is a classmate in our school who wipes his butt with his fingers after pooping. When he is done, he rubs his fingers from time to time and says it smells like orange★☆

5. One day I was walking on the street with a beautiful friend.

Suddenly a hawker buying porn movies came over and said to my good friend.

Hey, sister, come and take a look. There are new movies.

My friend was furious...

What the hell. Do I know you? ★☆

6. Eating at the hotel, I We are in a hurry, the waiter said enthusiastically; our hotel does not have a bathroom, you can go to the public toilet opposite. We have an agreement with them, and when you get there, you will say you are 'for food'!★☆

7. One day, A female friend of mine came over and said to me: "I'm depressed, I have a hemorrhage."

"A hemorrhage?" I asked.

"It's just heavy menstrual flow!" Answer. .

Oh, as a man, of course I don’t know what haemorrhage is.

There are two flowers, one on each side.

A few days later, my boss, who had not given me a salary increase for several years, suddenly gave me a salary increase.

I was sitting in the office happily holding my pay slip and said, "It feels like I haven't had my period for several months, and today I suddenly had a hemorrhage."

After speaking, I looked up. When I saw it, everyone in the office was staring at me. . . ★☆

8. When I was in my senior year of high school, in chemistry class, the teacher taught about organic chemistry, polymers and so on. Suddenly the teacher gave an example, drew a "Phthalate key" on the blackboard, and said to everyone, this is a "eunuch", let's press "Methyl" for him, everyone laughed. ★☆

9. In college, I majored in computer science. In the computer internship, everyone was crazy about CS while the teacher was taking a nap. Our captain couldn't help but get excited and quickly established a local area network. It was a classic dust2. The captain shouted: I'm cheap (build), I'm cheap (build), don't follow me. I grab it. ——! Don't worry, my captain, we won't compete with you. ★☆

10. I had a boyfriend when I was in college. We only dated him a short time ago, so I never went to his dormitory. One day I went to his dormitory to find him in an emergency. When I opened the door, I found that he was in the whole dormitory. Since He and his dormitory were not familiar with each other, I was a little nervous and asked him where he was.

I don’t know why, but I blurted out: "Where is my man?!"

The whole dormitory was silent for 10 seconds, and I rushed out of the door. ★☆

11. This is really embarrassing! During the May Day holiday this year, my mother and I went to the mall together. We walked around for a long time. Later, I walked to a counter selling sports shoes, and my mother asked me to try on a pair of shoes. I was so tired that I even felt like I was not very clear. ~~~Maybe it’s because I tried on pants too much before. Without saying a word, I started to unbuckle my belt, and then naturally pulled down my pants. Oh my God, my mom called out, “Hey, what are you doing!” !

That’s when I came around! The salesperson selling shoes looked at me dumbfounded. I was really...ah! My face is as hot as a roasted pig! What a shame! ★☆

12. I had my first period (menstruation) when I was 13. I was embarrassed to buy sanitary napkins by myself, so I asked my mother to buy them for me

But... I felt that it was very embarrassing to tell my mother, so I finally called my mother and hesitated for a long time

Finally I mustered up the courage to say to my mother: Mom, I am pregnant (actually I I wanted to say, "Mom, I'm in trouble." But when I got nervous, I suddenly...) What did my mother say to me with her eyes widened? ah? I blushed immediately, uh... so depressed★☆

13. When I was in high school, I had lunch with my friend near school. He ordered a bowl of lasagna, and the other friend was drinking Coke, and then Someone told a joke, and the Coke drinker choked with laughter, and the Coke dripped from his nose.

The friend laughed at the other person's embarrassment, but who knew that a piece of bread spurted out from the nostrils!

After graduating from college, I can’t help but laugh every time I see him★☆

14. Once I was shopping outside a store outside the station

Suddenly a man rushed over

He shouted anxiously

Comrade, please pack sanitary napkins for me

The salesperson and I were stunned

It didn’t matter when I thought about it later

Maybe he bought it for his wife`

The salesperson immediately handed him a pack of daily sanitary napkins

He was so anxious that he said it’s not like this

I don’t want this kind

I want men’s sanitary napkins

I told him The salesperson was so overwhelmed... For men★☆

15. During the holidays, I went to a classmate’s school. She was a woman. She accompanied me around the school and passed by a toilet. , she said I should go to the restroom. Then I said I wanted to go too. So I turned around and walked towards the men's restroom. Suddenly, she stopped me, took out a pack of tissues from her bag, and said, there is no paper in it, you bring it. Are you done? After saying that, she pushed the paper into my hand...

Then we looked at each other, looking at... She seemed to suddenly react, blushed, and said, Just use it. Come and wipe your hands...

I kept muttering in my heart: Don’t you know that boys only need to shake their hands twice...★☆

16. There is a fool near the unit , it seems that some kind of surgery suddenly damaged the brain, so there are problems with the nerves and the brain. Every day when this person meets people, whether he knows them or not, he always chases after them and asks: Is that right? Isn't it? Isn't it? ． ． ． Just these two words can catch a person and ask him N times. Once I met him at the door of my work after get off work. I was in a hurry to do something. He came over and I saw that he seemed to want to talk to me. I quickly said: Yes, yes. Yes,. ． ． In the end, the fool only said two words. ． ． Stupid ． ． I almost fainted★☆

17. What happened in junior high school...two classmates (same tablemates) got into scoldings for some reason, and one scolded the other. : "My deskmate is a NB!" Another person got anxious and yelled back: "Your deskmate is a NB!" The rest of the group of people next to us couldn't stop laughing...★☆

18 .When I was taking the Chinese class, the text talked about the dangers of the environment, talking about leaks, serious pollution, etc. ```

When it came to the emotional part, the 40-year-old Chinese language aunt took pictures angrily. Taiwan loudly said: "You humans! You don't know how to protect the environment!!"

The whole class is petrified★☆

19. When I am in college, next year Before the winter vacation, I would go to the gymnasium to queue up to buy train tickets. One year, while queuing up, I suddenly felt someone stabbing me from behind. I looked back and saw that it was the classmate behind me who was handing me a note. I opened it and read on it, "I am wearing red, about 20 meters behind." The girl in the sweater..." I searched carefully and found her. She had a red face and was very cute. She was exactly the type I like. There was hope and shyness in her eyes, and I thought to myself, "Hey, isn't my handsome guy all that beautiful? The Ministry of Railways was alerted, and beauties came here in admiration.

"So I quickly read the content behind the note, "I have extra sleeper berths for Hangzhou. Who wants to buy them? If you don't want them, please pass the note forward..."★☆

20. Spend the night alone. Seeing a fire in the cemetery, he thought it was a ghost fire, so he threw a brick. The fire moved to another grave, and the man threw another brick. Then he heard? ★☆

21. A new clerk memorizes formulas in everything he does. An old lady bought a bottle of soy sauce. The clerk said: "I will charge you xx yuan." , looking for you xx yuan, do you need a straw? The old lady fainted immediately...★☆　

22. Once after school, my deskmate asked me to go to dinner with her. Before leaving, she kindly reminded me, "Go to the toilet."

I was probably just thinking about eating, so I blurted out "I'm not hungry"...

Looking back, I saw my deskmate laughing so much that he was squatting on the floor~★☆

Please adopt .