Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Sichuanese go to Jinan, Shandong!

Sichuanese go to Jinan, Shandong!

"Spring rain in the south of the Yangtze River and autumn wind in the north" shows the world's understanding of the differences between the north and the south. But the city of Jinan gives people a different feeling. Liu E, a novelist in the Qing Dynasty, described it as "more interesting than the scenery in the south of the Yangtze River". Time flies, the years have passed, and many famous springs in Jinan have not disappeared, but have surged more intoxicating, which really makes people admire their exuberant vitality! There are many springs in Jinan, which have merged into the lake of Daming Lake, so there is a famous saying that "there are lotus flowers on four sides and willows on three sides, a city has mountains and a half city has lakes". This is obviously different from the situation that most springs in other cities in China are distributed in suburbs and mountainous areas, which adds a bit of spirituality to Jinan ... When it comes to life in Jinan, two Jinan-style words come to mind. What do you mean by incitement? Is to pour water into all kinds of flour, such as wheat flour, soybean flour, millet flour, corn flour and so on. , a pair of powerful big hands vigorously stir, rub, rub, add evenly mixed egg liquid, salt, baking powder, etc. So that dry flour and wet water stick together regardless of each other, and the more they are pulled, the more powerful they are, making dazzling pasta. There seems to be a pair of invisible big hands behind Jinan, kneading dough with five elements, eight skills, three teachings and nine streams, and the so-called culture is the water, egg liquid, salt and baking powder added during dough mixing, which plays the role of adhesive and flavoring agent. Speaking of the cultural characteristics of Jinan, I can't help but think of a kind of porridge that Jinan people eat for breakfast-sweet foam, which is actually not sweet at all. It is made of millet flour, including cowpea, spinach leaves, kelp, vermicelli, peanuts, shrimp skin, shredded ginger, and a little pepper noodles, which is a bit salty and spicy. Eating fried dough sticks with sweet foam is an excellent breakfast in the eyes of Jinan people. There is also a kind of porridge, called "pot", which is made of rice, with minced beef, shredded onion and ginger, shrimp sauce, a special product of Shandong, and oil cake or oil flower. People in Jinan always drool when they talk about this, which is absolutely wonderful. Speaking of sweet foam, there is also a legend that when Ji Xiaolan accompanied Emperor Qianlong to the south of the Yangtze River and passed by Jinan, he used two kinds of snacks from Jinan to make a couplet, with the "eight treasures pickles" on the top and the "spiced sweet foam" on the bottom. Jinan people call steamed buns "steamed buns" and steamed buns "Wo Wo". People in Jinan say that "good" is called "Gangsai", not "fault". After learning these anecdotes in Jinan, Gan Long wrote the first couplet: "Biting black beans and eight treasures of pickles can be described as a match"; Ji Xiaolan blurted out: "It's not a problem to eat a piece of white flour bun and drink a bowl of spiced sweet foam." Jinan's culture is a hodgepodge, just like a fog of sweet foam. Although it is salty and spicy, Jinan people seem to feel that the taste is not complete, so they add a little sweetness to the name. I think it means something like this: I can eat sweet foam every day. Although the mouth is not sweet, the heart is sweet. In Jinan culture, nothing seems to be lacking, but nothing stands out. Various cultures adhere to each other and contain each other, becoming a chaotic hodgepodge.

Just like mixing noodles with dried noodles and liquid, Jinan also mixes elegance and vulgarity. Old Jinan chanted "how many poems have been handed down, and Quancheng has been the city of poetry since ancient times". The graceful and touching Li Qingzhao and Xin Qiji on the iron plate laid the elegant tradition of this city. Jinan people proudly say that the Hero Mountain Cultural Market is the largest antique market and book market in China, where groups of idle people dressed in ordinary clothes are active. But when you turn an alley, you may see such a scene: a group of men sitting on Mazar, shirtless, wearing only a pair of big shorts, drinking draft beer and eating mutton kebabs. People in Jinan call these shirtless people "arms". On a midsummer night, you may meet a group of drunken "arms kings" who put their clothes on their shoulders or casually wrap them around their waists to help each other walk in the middle of the road. The crooked appearance scared the passing cars to bypass. Bureaucratic culture, elite culture and street culture are intertwined in this city, weaving into a complicated network, which you can't break if you want. If there is any theme in this city, it can only be the official standard thought. But interestingly, Jinan people are not afraid of officials. They are a bit duplicitous. After deeply understanding the meaning of "it is better to be an official than to be in charge now", they only bow and scrape to those officials who want what they want. The evaluation of local officials by the citizens at the bottom, such as taxi drivers, will never be related to their interests. What they say is really reckless, but it is never fair. It is the so-called popular will. In fact, Jinan citizens hardly talk. Who are they dissatisfied with? At most, they make up a joke about who is a "farmer", "village head" and "mayor". There are too many connections between Jinan and the surrounding cities. Every district in this city has towns and villages under its jurisdiction. Urban and rural areas are closely intertwined, and it is impossible to cut off the invisible umbilical cord with the local blood society. Although Jinan's urban construction in recent years has been actively striving for the goal of a modern city, and landmark buildings such as quancheng square and quancheng road have been built, the opinions of local citizens and foreign tourists on Jinan are still relatively concentrated. Probably many taxi drivers in Jinan have told such jokes to passengers, saying that foreigners travel to Jinan, and when they enter the city center, they say to their companions: Jinan is so big, why are you still in the suburbs after walking for a long time? In fact, it is difficult for any China city established in a solid rural tradition to get rid of this transitional "suburbanization" feature. Rural memory is like the tail of a monkey. Even if he can change seventy-two, he can only turn his tail into a flagpole at most. It is worth noting that there is no need to establish the same model in urban construction, and all buildings are in the style of glass curtain wall covering the sun. Urban construction does not need to pursue the new and the different, and do everything possible to get rid of the traces of rural civilization and street culture. In a sense, the practice of completely opposing urban and rural areas, fashion and tradition is similar to those rural sons who have just entered the city. Because of vanity, they try to wash away any rural shadow from themselves. In fact, if there is a city in the world that organically combines the benefits of modern civilization with the beauty of rural scenery, this is the truly perfect and humanized urban model. For citizens who love Jinan, they can't help but feel sad about the disappearance of the remains of the ancient city of Jinan: the complete ancient city wall was demolished in the 1950 s; Zhang's former residence, Shanxi Guild Hall and Zhengjue Temple in front of the provincial capital were destroyed by the Cultural Revolution. 1992, Jinan Railway Station with a typical Germanic style with a history of more than 80 years was demolished; Soon, the front yard of Wanzhu Park, which has both the charm of north and south gardens, was demolished; In 2002, an ancient street with a history of more than 500 years-Gaodusi Lane disappeared. When Liu E visited Jinan, he actually saw the reflection of Qianfo Mountain on Daming Lake, so he praised Qianfo Mountain in Travel Notes of Lao Can: "The monk building and the pine and cypress compete ..." Unfortunately, a tall building was built between Qianfo Mountain and Daming Lake. Moreover, some buildings are built in the only place where springs pass, and water resources are becoming scarcer and scarcer. The beautiful scenery of Quancheng, "Every family hangs the sun in spring", is already some distance from Jinan people. In the Yuan Dynasty, there was a book called Sui Tang Jian Ji, which said that "Jinan people are generous and generous", and this judgment is still not outdated. The characteristics of Jinan people are vividly displayed on the wine table. If you drink half a glass after his toast, he will get angry and think you look down on him. Jinan people persuade people to drink in the same way as Shandong people in other places. Very straightforward: just do it, and do it with respect. There is a short story about a Suzhou man who married a Jinan girl. He went back to Jinan to visit relatives and hold a banquet. He was very unhappy when drinking. Sometimes he said, "If you kill me, I will do whatever I want." His angry wife grabbed the glass and scolded him, "Are you a man?" Then finish the wine in one gulp. But the other side of Jinan people can also be seen on the wine table, that is, they are considerate and would rather offend a large group of people than just one person. A friend who hangs out in officialdom said that when drinking, you can claim that you are unwell and don't drink with anyone, but you must never make an exception just because there are important guests in the middle. The most taboo is to keep a secret. Missing an unknown guest will deeply hurt people and leave a potential enemy for your future. I don't know what happened when I was blindsided by others. There is a proverb in Jinan that says, "The toad in the lake bulges." After the rain, frogs are noisy outside the city, but there are no frogs in Daming Lake in the city. It is difficult to have a convincing explanation for this strange phenomenon, so the local people made up some legends: one said that the toad in Daming Lake was changed by an unruly evil monk in a nearby temple, and it would only make people angry to see them living well; It is said that Emperor Qianlong went down to the south of the Yangtze River, passed through Jinan and lived by Daming Lake. When he was resting in Lixia Pavilion, snakes were swimming and frogs were singing, which affected his rest. So Emperor Qianlong ordered: "The snake belongs to the hole, and the frog can't sing." Since then, the snake in Daming Lake has disappeared and the frog has stopped barking. Even if toads keep their mouths shut, Jinan people are even more reluctant to make noise and destroy this quiet environment. When going to the vegetable market to buy food, customers ask the price of tofu, and the stall owner's answer is often two short words: "two pounds!" " Asked about the price of fresh vegetables such as mushrooms, he replied, "Three catties!" Ask the price of live shrimp, and then answer: "four Jin!" " This kind of answer always confuses foreigners who have just arrived in Jinan. Ask again, the vendor's answer is still this style. He can raise the weight at most, such as changing "two Jin" to "two Jin two". Those who don't understand think that the price of the stall owner has increased. It took me a long time to know that tofu is one yuan and two Jin, mushrooms are ten yuan and three Jin, and live shrimp is one hundred yuan and four Jin, omitting "one yuan", "ten yuan" and "one hundred yuan". People in Jinan cherish words like gold, which inevitably reminds people of the philosophical sayings of Qilu sages, such as "words must be kept, actions must be fruitful" and "words must be kept, actions must be fruitful". However, this expression also reflects the simplicity and kindness of Jinan people from one side. For example, there is a kind of cake called "Guada" on the street in Jinan. This kind of cake is now cooked while eating, while the oil pan is standing and the noodles are mixed. When the guests came, the stall owner tore off a piece of noodles, tore it into a narrow circle, sprinkled sesame seeds and threw it into the pot with a "melon click". When one side is fried yellow, it turns over and throws it down to fry the other side with a "melon click". Fry both sides, take out and serve. This intuitive and vivid naming brings people a sense of intimacy and security, which is difficult for glib people to achieve. People in Jinan are called "teachers"; When people ask for directions, Jinan people always give a kind and concise explanation. Looking through the newspapers in Jinan, you will always see some good stories. A colleague described such details in her essay entitled "City and Country": A female doctor studying in France came to work in Jinan and led her daughter who grew up in her hometown of Xi 'an to 18 years old. She saw a Jinan man littering around Daming Lake and stopped her: "Why don't you cherish such a good environment?" Please pick up the peel. "My daughter met many street conflicts in Xi 'an. She was shocked and said," Mom, if you talk like this, people will hit you! " But the man in Jinan took a look at her, picked up the peel and threw it into the dustbin. Because there are too many connections with the countryside, Jinan people do not despise the countryside. They know that the countryside is buried with their own roots, so they have retained more pastoral interest and enthusiasm for work in their living habits. For example, every spring, there are always some Jinan people who go to the suburbs or relatives' homes to pick the buds of Toona sinensis and Sophora japonica, and bring them back to fry "Toona sinensis fish" to make Sophora japonica cakes. In this way, Jinan people are neither new nor old, neither slow nor supercilious. They have a persistent recognition of tradition, but they don't exclude new things, lack the sense of the times ahead, and enjoy the fun of life with a low-key taste. A netizen in Jinan described it this way: I think what people in Jinan lack is great ambition (small wealth means security), perseverance in doing business (continuous business 10 years or even 20 years), carefulness in doing things (people and things with tails everywhere) and comfort (always going to the bank to make money). Influenced by Qilu culture, the character of Jinan people is branded with the background of "golden mean". Some outsiders commented on Shandong people: Shandong people have a strong local consciousness and think that Shandong is the best in the world. There are only two places in China that like to brag about their hometown: Shanxi people sing "People say Shanxi has good scenery" and Shandong people sing "Who doesn't say my hometown is good". If you say that Shandong is not good, Shandong people will give it to you. This evaluation is not accurate, at least not all Jinan people. People in Jinan don't hide their dissatisfaction with their city. Taxi drivers are familiar with Jinan's shortcomings. When some foreign tourists criticize Jinan, they often agree: Yes, yes, you are right. When foreigners first settled in Jinan, they were very critical and even complained about the city and Jinan people, but the city and people here accepted them with an open mind. In a short time, these people's personalities were quickly assimilated by Jinan people, just like the dry powder scattered on the panel layer by layer during dough mixing, like snowballing, which was quickly absorbed by the dough, regardless of each other. The greatest advantage of Jinan is that it will not bring oppression to people living in it. When this civilian city makes you realize that it is normal, it also reminds you through real life that everyone is normal and don't take yourself too seriously.