Hot joke stories

A collection of hilarious stories

Teacher, I want to puke in my butt

The teacher was giving a lecture when a little boy raised his hand Said: "Teacher, I want to poop."

After hearing this, the teacher taught the students: "You can use another more civilized way to say it." ?

The student thought for a while and said, "Teacher, I feel like vomiting." ?

Give me half of the prize first. I got 50 points.

Son: Mom, I got 100 points. What will you give me? Mom: Ten dollars. Son: Then give me half of the award first. I got 50 points. ?

Noble Kindergarten Interview

Little Ruth went to take the Noble Kindergarten exam. During the interview, the teacher took out a 10 yuan bill and asked: "What is this?" Little Ruth quickly answered: ?This is the waste paper that grandma gave to the beggar. ?The teacher said: ?Okay, no need to take the exam, you have been admitted. ?

There are 38 classmates in our class.

Just a few days after school started, Xiaomi got back an exam paper and asked her mother to sign it. The score is 85, which is not satisfactory. Just as my mother was about to sign, she saw the number 26 written in a small pencil next to it. Ask Xiaomi what this means. Xiaomi hesitated for a long time but couldn't say anything. A few days later, Xiaomi brought back another paper for parents to sign. Mom paid extra attention this time. The test score was 83, but the pencil number next to it became 32. Mom didn't care about the sand in her eyes, so she asked Xiaomi to explain clearly. Xiaomi murmured for a long time before whispering: "This is the class ranking of test scores." ?

Can you look for it everywhere without being anxious?

Someone asked on a forum: After using cockroach incense to kill cockroaches at home, why do cockroaches appear more frequently? I didn’t see them much before. of. ?Answer? Your family members are missing. Can you look for them everywhere without worrying?

Who is the abbot?

When I first entered the school in the first year of high school, the teacher called his name and called him a few times, "Abbott!" Abbot!?, no one agreed. The teacher became anxious and shouted: "Who is the abbot?" At this time, a faint voice came from the corner: "Donor, poor monk's name, Fang Wen, not the abbot!" Teacher. . .

Junior, the senior can only help you here.

As soon as the term started, I saw a couple of freshmen getting intimate at school. The girl said: "This is my first kiss." , No kiss!? I stepped forward and kissed the girl and said: It’s not the first kiss now. Junior, the senior can only help you get here!?

Separate dormitories

According to reports, many colleges and universities will assign freshmen with the same mobile phone to the same dormitory this year, such as Apple dormitory, Samsung dormitory, Xiaomi dormitory, etc. Experts say this is the most reasonable standard for dividing dormitories at present. It brings people with the same conditions and aesthetics together, eliminating the unhealthy phenomenon of comparison in dormitories. At the same time, dormitories can be adjusted if you change your mobile phone in the future, and it can also encourage students to be motivated.

There are so many women in college

I said to my brother who just graduated from high school: There are so many women in college. You can see them often, and they will slowly I get to know you, I occasionally say a few words, and I smile slightly when I meet you. ?When my brother heard this, his heart began to flutter. I continued: "They are: the aunt who cares for the dormitory, the aunt who cleans the corridors, the aunt who sells food in the cafeteria, the aunt who sells cards in the water room, the aunt who sells newspapers at the newsstand, and the aunt who manages the computer room." ?

My mother thought I was taking drugs

I was waiting for someone at the entrance of the supermarket. Two students walked by. One said to the other: "The things in the supermarket are too expensive. At this consumption rate, , my mother thought I was taking drugs?

If you learn, you will discover.

If you learn, you will discover: God has closed the window of English for you, and also closed the door of mathematics for you. You have blocked the physical drains, blocked the chemical sewer pipes, and even the Chinese dog hole has been built with cement for you!

One hundred thousand cold jokes: School funny

Today, I got into a fight with my deskmate. I said to my deskmate: "I'm sorry!" My deskmate said that I should be the first to say sorry. Then we started fighting again.

I had no choice but to give him the cabbage I had grown for two months.

A friend planted a few garlic seedlings in the dormitory, saying it would add some greenery to the dormitory. He worked hard. It took two weeks of hard work. Yesterday when I was cooking noodles, I felt they were lacking in flavor, so I picked two of them and put them in a bowl. As a result, when he came back, he held the remaining garlic sprouts and cried loudly, insisting that I should pay for it. As for that? I had no choice but to give him the cabbage I had grown for two months.

Just like you were ugly before, but then it got uglier and uglier.

I believe that time can really change a person, just like you were ugly before, and then it got uglier and uglier.

There are free ones on the return flight

When Chen Guangbiao returned to China, he was stopped by a reporter who rushed to the airport and asked: Mr. Chen, is your acquisition of the New York Times something wrong? Rejected by the other party? Chen Guangbiao waved his hand and said: "No need to buy it, there will be free ones on the return flight." ?

The money I got, the cooked duck

It’s the Chinese New Year, and my wife gave me 1,000 yuan as new year’s money. I gave in according to traditional Chinese customs, just a moment. My wife actually took it back and said don't take it down and we'll talk about it next year. The money you got, the cooked duck.

My neighbor’s child’s name is Zhu Chuan

My neighbor’s child’s name is Zhu Chuan. Every time his mother buys clothes for him, she will tell people that they are for our Zhu Chuan.

Didn’t you say that I was your little angel before we got married?

Man: After cooking, wash my clothes. ?Female: ?Why, let me do all the work at home alone? ?Male: ?If you don’t do it, who will do it? ?Female:?Didn’t you say that I was your little angel before you got married? ?Male: Yes, angels are called every day. ..The angel calls every day... ;