Are there any funny jokes?

1. Yesterday, my brother drove a second-hand mulberry 2000 to the street and came to a fork in the road. I missed the last flash of the green light and had to stop and turn around. Parked next door is a brand-new BMW 7 Series!

6, 5, 4, 3 ... Green light, let's go! A good car is a good car. It just started half a car in front of my brother. Just thinking, suddenly a modern sports car turned left at the opposite intersection and roared straight at us. Sangbao's second car braked quickly, hoping Hyundai could steer to avoid collision!

But with this trend, it is certain that Hyundai will impact BMW! Although I stepped on the emergency brake, it was too late to say that Hyundai was getting closer and closer to BMW. At that time, the modern direction was a dozen, and I was also full of beauty. BMW successfully escaped and walked away! Although Niu X's driver has braked to the end, this touch still hit my brother in high spirits! Just as he was about to jump down to greet his ancestors, Niu X climbed down first, with a servile look: "Brother, I'm so sorry. I misread the light. Brake too hard. It's too late. BMW is too expensive. I can't afford it. I can only hit you! " ……

Shit! You step on the brakes slowly, and it's worthwhile to react quickly when you hit it!

2, listen to the same theory, male A and male B share a dormitory, and both like female c…

One day, men A and C chatted and criticized B's ugliness, saying that he saw Maria Ozawa's porn last night. C was shocked and said that he didn't expect B to be so disgusting. Then he asked A: Did you watch it, too? How else do you know whose movie?

A quickly defended: no, no, I didn't read it. I heard it because his headphones were too loud …

My little daughter, who is almost two years old, is very noisy at home. One night when I was surfing the Internet in my dormitory, she ran out and came in to play. Suddenly, she calmed down and sat on the floor in front of the bedside table. I don't know what to do. As a result, she didn't bother me for a long time. I just want to see what she is doing. As a result, I walked over and saw the tragedy. Is TT or strawberry beauty in the little girl's hand?

Note: My TT is in the bedside table.

This must be hidden ~ ~ ~

4, Cangnan school, grade three, the teacher is very violent, in class, anyone who plays truant will throw it with chalk.

However, he cannot always lose it correctly. . .

Once, a boy in the first group turned to talk to the back table.

The teacher saw it, and he moved quickly. He broke off a piece of chalk and threw it at him!

And then—

Just then, the boy walked around, with several students in the second group, ducking his head and avoiding chalk. . .

The teacher played normally and still didn't miss. . .

Chalk was thrown to a girl at the penultimate table.

There was nothing at first, but the teacher's expression was suddenly strange.

A little commotion.

The girl blushed, covering her with one hand, and taking out a piece of chalk from the neckline of the dress on her chest with the other hand. .

Then, I don't know what she thinks,

Throw the chalk back to the teacher. . .

There are two dogs in our family. The younger dog was sent to my house when he was four months old, and now he is three years old. What I said today was before it was delivered.

The relationship between its original owner and the neighbor's house is called a good one. How good is it? Both families have balconies, just like a family.

At that time, the dog was still young (less than four months), but he knew in his heart that there was only one home in his master's house. In order to show that he loves his home and his master, he drags everything back to his master's home every time he visits.

At first, it was some worthless toys, but the people next door put up with it. Until one day, it dragged back a thick stack of RMB. ....

Then it was delivered to our house. Unfortunately, our balcony is not connected to the next door. ....

6. I once studied in Japan. When I was in the big classroom, the Japanese were bored and played games on my mobile phone. While I was playing hard, I found two Japanese B's watching me all the time. Then I found that the game I was playing was like landing on the beach. Japanese flags are everywhere on the plane. I smiled.

7. In the past, there was a female classmate in the class who was very good-looking and open-minded, but she often had some very h behaviors, such as talking about menstruation in public, or forgetting to zip up and open it all the way.

Because she and I have been classmates since childhood, and the adults at home are also comrades-in-arms, so the relationship has always been very good, and we often fight together, and nothing else feels.

The conditions in her home are very good. When we were wandering around the Internet cafe, we had already bought a computer and connected to broadband. However, her family are all novices and often ask me to help her with some minor problems.

One afternoon in the summer vacation of senior one, I was reading at home. She suddenly came to my house to find me, looking nervous, saying that there was something wrong with my computer, so let me go and have a look at it quickly. Seeing her nervous appearance, I thought something really happened, so I went to her house with her.

As soon as I entered the door, she told me to go to the computer first. She went to change clothes and then went into another room.

Her computer is in the bedroom. As soon as I entered the door, I saw a bunch of NK and NY on the bed, but I was still young. I just glanced at it and sat in front of the computer to see what the problem was.

Well, I thought the problem would be difficult to find, but as soon as I opened it, I saw countless H pages popping up wildly, with a complete range and a wide geographical area. Even now, I still admire them.

Of course, I didn't pay attention to this at that time. After three times five divided by two, she came in.

Wearing pure white ultra-wide short sleeves and ultra-short beach hot pants in a vacuum state, barefoot, holding a cup of strange color drink in his hand,

She sat beside me tenderly, handed me the drink and asked me if I had finished processing it.

I said yes, and then asked her why there are so many evil pages in your computer.

She replied, "My father saw it."

Well, then she began to urge me to drink that strange drink desperately .. Then she told me that her family was on a business trip and she was alone these days, so boring. ...

I looked at her face, gently put down the drink I never wanted to drink, and said to her:

"Oh, you can have fun when the computer is repaired. I'm leaving. " ..

Then I really left, and then she suddenly gave me the cold shoulder. ....

I still don't understand why,

It was not until three years later that I dreamed of seeing the scene at that time that I finally realized what an idiot I was to stay in nature.

What kind of father will sit in front of his daughter's bed in the middle of the night and watch H website?

What kind of daughter wears a vacuum cleaner for no reason?

What kind of idiot treats countless hints as air?