Three steps of listening

Hello, everyone. I'm Simon Jun. I spend a few minutes every day decrypting the communication in your life.

Tell a joke first: a person's eyes are not very comfortable, see a doctor. As a result, before he could speak, the doctor patted his chest and said, "I know!" " "Then take off your glasses and put them on the patient. The patient made a puzzled expression. The doctor said, "Don't worry, I have worn these glasses for more than ten years. They are very useful! You try. "After the patient put it on incredibly, he found that his eyes were blurred and he shouted dizziness. The doctor said, "How is that possible? It will be clear when you wear it! You must be wearing it wrong. "

After listening to this story, you must think that doctors are "wonderful", right? He actually started the treatment by talking to himself before the diagnosis. In fact, many people in life also have these bad habits. They always like to live in their own world without considering others at all.

Morris famously said, "There is only one way to be an expressive person, and that is to learn to listen to others."

So, how to listen to others better? Simon Jun has three skills.

First, talk less about "I" and more about "you". Do you have such people around you? No matter what topic people talk about, he will eventually lead the topic to himself. For example, when everyone is discussing the movie Transformers, he will suddenly cut in and say in disgust, "Oh, I've seen this movie, and it's not interesting. I still recommend you to watch the movie of Marvel Comics. The special effects are good and the plot is burning! "

The narcissist is boring because there is always a hint in his words, as if what others say is not important, only he is the most important. In order to avoid becoming such a person, the best way is to talk less about "I" and more about "you". In this way, the other party will feel that they have received attention, and naturally they will have a double affection for you.

Second, spread with good posture. The so-called "gesture communication" is assisted by physical means, thus realizing the function of emphasizing language or supplementing language. According to experts' estimation, only 7% of interpersonal communication is conducted by language, 38% by intonation and voice, and the remaining 5% by body language. You must understand the body language in these interpersonal relationships: cross your hands and turn your thumb to show impatience; Put your arms in your hands and lean back to show resistance; Your upper body is upright and your hands have nowhere to put, which means you are nervous.

In a word, pay attention to your manners, and don't send negative information to others, causing misunderstandings in communication.

Third, cultivate empathy. The so-called empathy is to objectively understand the inner feelings of the parties from their perspectives and positions. Simply put, it is "empathy, empathy."

I'm afraid it's hard to make it clear in a few words to cultivate empathy. One key is to "put aside your own prejudice and think from the other's point of view."

For example, to communicate with people who believe in constellations, you have two choices. One is to argue with people who believe in constellations. Constellations are simply unreliable and unscientific. The other is to temporarily enter each other's thinking system to achieve the same goal. Which one would you choose? Obviously, the cost of the latter is very small.

Li Ka-shing once said, "As long as you treat others with sincerity, others will treat you with sincerity". It is understandable that each of us wants the attention of others, but I hope you understand that only if you are willing to listen to others patiently will others listen to you patiently. Respect is always mutual.