Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - The man sleeping in the closet (full version)

The man sleeping in the closet (full version)

On New Year's Eve, he strode to his girlfriend's house, carrying fireworks and smiling. He whirled and jumped, and the cheerful wind lifted the hem of his slim black down jacket, which was very handsome, just like a teenager stepping on a roller skating board.

Cool!

The uncle at the gate of the community called him happily, and the young man went to set off fireworks!

Hehe, he will show her the most beautiful fireworks outside the window and sing her love songs. It must be the most beautiful New Year's Eve. He has a face of pride and fantasy.

Suddenly, a text message sent by the mobile phone made him instantly stunned.

For a long time, when the cold wind blew, he looked at the bustling world in the distance and didn't know where to go at once. Just as the tears were about to come out, he turned and strode into the darkness.

Gorgeous fireworks fell in mid-air. Like faded ink and a lost dog, he quietly returned to the rental house with his head down and fireworks in his arms. As soon as the door closed, his heart ached again.

Taking off the down jacket that supported the body, my legs were suddenly drained of strength and fell to the ground in pain, turning into mud. Holding his heart in his hand, he moved to the front of the wardrobe bit by bit, bumped it, and then got in like a wounded snake.

He's going to heal.

In the narrow space, he huddled up, took out his lighter with trembling hands, and slammed it, giving off a precious flame in the dark.

A long time ago, my parents chewed and growled like wild animals, leaving only pale walls and strong wardrobes at home. He buried his head in his chest and hid in the closet, trembling and afraid to cry. Living like a mouse, struggling between a tigress and a wolf, there is no future.

In the days to come, he will find himself a tortoise, unwilling to come out, dull to stay in his shell, and don't express any opinions, looking like a coward.

Later, he found himself a hedgehog, and someone approached him actively, and he abruptly hurt each other. He tried to get close to the person he cared about, and as a result, love turned into harm.

Over time, he turned into a tortoise full of thorns and lay motionless in the same place.

Yes, it is the tortoise and hedgehog in the children's chart posted on the wall. He drew many red crosses on it with a red pen.

He had a good family before and was envied or even jealous by outsiders. He used to be very happy, riding an electric toy car that other children didn't have, riding back and forth in the street, and his parents followed him with a smile and chased him back and forth to play.

The house they live in is very big, but for him when he was a child, he felt insecure in space. He likes playing hide-and-seek very much. As soon as he hid, he hid in the closet. After a long time, his parents laughed at him as a child sleeping in the closet.

But he gradually fell in love with the wardrobe and thought it could shelter his friends.

Once, he accidentally found a lighter in his pocket. When he pressed his finger, he jumped out of the warm fire and his eyes jumped out of life.

He was so happy that he watched the flame until the lighter was too hot to hold. He learned from his mother's cooking and began to blow a lighter. After a while, a welcome flame broke out again.

He enjoys it and is addicted to it. Listening to dad cursing who took his lighter, he hid in the closet and laughed. If dad is angry and quarrels with mom, he is sad again, because mom is innocent, but he dare not walk out of the closet with a lighter, and his sadness returns to his heart, and the lighter will catch fire.

Several times, he almost set the clothes in the closet on fire. He was frightened and became more careful in the future.

Later, he looked back and found it interesting and guilty.

Mom finally stopped arguing with dad.

One day his mother wanted to take him away, and he was very sad because he couldn't take the wardrobe away.

It's no use crying, making noise, mother beating and coaxing. Mother got angry and took it away.

The newly rented house is small, with only one room. He is happy to sleep with his mother again. Sometimes he will think of the days when he hid in the closet, and the strange feeling is wonderful.

Sometimes, he asks his father in a daze, and his mother says that he is dead and that man is dead.

His mother hugged him tightly and tears flowed into his neck. He felt itchy and wanted to scratch, but he couldn't get rid of it. He died with a feeling. Why do you hold me so tight?

Mother loves him so much that she won't let him go out after school every day. Mother knelt on the bed and said to him, son, we are the only ones now. You can't leave your mother!

He nodded desperately, and his hand desperately stuffed the long-lost snacks into his mouth. He thought, how nice it would be for his mother to be so kind to him suddenly and buy so many snacks for herself!

He wants to go out and play with the children, but his mother won't let him. He is very upset. I can imagine that my mother will buy me delicious food. In this kind of self-consolation, he gradually doesn't want to go out.

Yes, how beautiful the TV is and how delicious the snacks are. My mother never asks her about her exam results. Mom said that as long as I am happy, she will be happy. I am her lifeblood.

It's good to be the lifeblood. You don't even have to do your homework. Look at how sad it is to be kicked out of my parents' homework every day. He proudly showed off to his classmates, who all admired him, saying that his home was really nice and democratic.

This is the only time he is happy in front of everyone. He is addicted to it and talks about it almost every day.

A few months later, suddenly a man and his mother came back. Just after closing the door, the man hugged his mother and shouted, Xiaomei, you are so beautiful.

He was sent to make soy sauce. He walked on the road with a hundred dollars, thinking, how many bottles of soy sauce can he buy? A bottle of soy sauce costs six yuan, and now there is one hundred yuan. If you can buy it, one hundred divided by six equals 16.66 cycles. You can buy seventeen bottles if rounded. Great, mom will boast that she bought so much soy sauce.

But he didn't walk a few steps and thought, he is a child. If he can't get so many soy sauce bottles, he will feel distressed again.

When he arrived at the miscellaneous grains shop outside the community, he said he would buy seventeen bottles of soy sauce, and everyone around him laughed.

They laughed and said, that bitch did a good thing and let her son come out to play soy sauce. Haha, this bastard came out to make soy sauce.

They laughed seriously. He was obviously angry and turned back.

When I get home, I can't knock. The bed creaked. Maybe there is a mouse gnawing at the bed. But suddenly I heard a strange sound. It seems that someone is hitting a child. He listened carefully. That's his mother's voice.

He's angry again. Why doesn't his mother open the door for me in there? Hanging his penis outside and being seen by classmates is ugly.

He is very anxious and angry. He looked around from time to time. If someone passes by, he will go far and come back, pretending to have just come home.

For a long time, the man came out with a red tide on his face, and the black stubble and beard were really disgusting. He rushed in and the man lowered his head. He looked up in surprise. His ugly face twitched and said, Your mother is really a beauty!

My mother finally came out, grabbed him and smiled at the man.

He doesn't think it's good for mom to do this.

When he went to school the next day, his classmates called him a bastard. He was so angry that he didn't come into the classroom, and the teacher didn't care.

He was sad, sad and angry. He thought it was all my mother's fault for letting me make soy sauce.

He thought like this all day and didn't go to class at all. After school, when he heard the bell ring, he ran to the school gate as if for his life. He wants to ask what happened to his mother.

As a result, he picks up his mother every day and didn't come today. He thought that his mother might be on her way to pick him up, and she would come soon. He waited and waited. Everyone in the school has left, but his mother hasn't come yet. He began to worry about whether something had happened to her. There are so many car accidents now.

He was very sad and began to pray for his mother. Suddenly a car stopped by the side of the road and her mother came out.

He was so happy that his mother pulled him into the car.

Mom sat in the front, he sat in the back, and the man appeared again. The man handed him a bottle of coke and then went to chat with his mother. The man also said that Xiaomei is really a beauty.

They chatted happily, and he became more and more angry, throwing the unfinished coke on the windshield in front of the car.

Coke spilled all over the car. The man didn't speak sullenly, and his mother scolded himself.

He was very sad.

When he got home, he wanted to find a big wardrobe, but he couldn't find it, crying for it.

Mother was impatient, took out a pile of food and said I had something to do when I went out. Stay at home.

Peng slammed the door.

Listening to the sound of high heels fading away, he stopped crying. In the room, nowhere to go, the door is locked and he can't get out.

Mother thought it would be safe to lock him in the house, so she set the house on fire with a lighter.

If a few young people hadn't kicked the door open, he would have been burned to death.

He didn't burn to death. First the whole room was burned down, and now there is water all over the floor. Burning ash floats on the water and floats everywhere. At first, he thought it was fun. Later, someone exclaimed, this is to burn people! He's scared.

When his mother came, his eyes suddenly changed from timidity and fear to hatred, and his fucking eyes were even more terrible, beating him to tears like a tigress in the corridor.

He wanted to hide in the closet, only to find that there was no closet around him, which made him even more sad.

After being beaten by his mother, he wanted to leave her. In that small rental house, he sometimes hides under the table, then puts a big cardboard box in front of him, and then moves the chair over, so that he can't see the outside, and he can't see the outside.

He saw his mother fighting naked with different men under the table. He is ashamed of it, often laughed at at at school, and doesn't like to go out.

One day, his mother cried and hugged him, tears rolling on her face like free money. His mother said excitedly, son, mother can't live without you. Don't go to school during the day, okay?

Tears dripped on his neck again. He felt itchy and wanted to stretch out his hand to scratch, but his mother hugged him too tightly to move. He just doesn't understand that his mother is so happy that he doesn't go to school.

From then on, he didn't go to school or go out.

When he grew up, his mother changed the house, and there was a big wardrobe in the new house. He jumped in happily.

He found that the wardrobe was too small, so he cried, and his mother hugged him.

Buy, buy the biggest.

He felt uncomfortable in the biggest wardrobe, but he finally found the feeling when he was five or six years old.

Ten years passed, and he lived in the closet for ten years. He doesn't know what his mother is doing, but every night, different men come home, take off their clothes and fight in the room next to her.

Sometimes he will be curious, climb under the door to see it, or lie prone in the closet against the wall and listen with his ears against the wall.

After doing this several times, he felt bored. One day, he saw a photo of him being held by his mother. Although the little man is very different from himself now, he insists that that is what he really looks like.

So, he always lets his mother hold him, and his mother has no choice but to hold him.

Being held uncomfortable by his mother, he started to make trouble again. His mother had no choice but to show him past photos to comfort him.

Suddenly, he saw a picture of his mother's pregnancy, and an intuition told him that he was in her belly.

Mother told him that this place is called uterus.

He mumbled that he was going to the uterus, and his mother smiled and hugged him.

One night, he was in a daze in the closet as usual, and suddenly a large number of people rushed into the room, making a lot of noise. He is too scared to go out.

He is 18 years old, tall 1 m 8 and weighs nearly 200 Jin, but he wants to live in his mother's womb, where it will be great and nothing to be afraid of.

It's finally quiet. He ran to his mother's room and found that she had lost a lot of blood. He asked his mother to hug him, but when she didn't speak, she opened the mattress, which contained a lot of money. Mom struggled to say, honey, take this money and live well.

He still wanted his mother's hug, but she died.

In fact, as long as he called 120, his mother could be rescued, but she lost too much blood and was rescued soon. However, he didn't. He didn't even know there was such a thing as 120.

Of course, he doesn't understand money either.

His father knew that his mother was dead, so he came over, took the money and took him home like a pig.

His father treated him badly, and he soon lost weight. After losing weight, he is quite handsome and spotless. His father began to take him to the society.

His father arranged for him to work in his own factory, and his job was to push the cardboard boxes from here to there.

He is worried about why he has to do these jobs every day.

Three years later, his mind has matured a little, and he looks like he is ten years older.

One day, he was playing with leaves outside. When he saw a girl who looked like his mother, he ran over and whispered, give me a hug!

The girl thought he was cute and gave him a hug.

He was so happy that he wanted the girl to hold him in her arms. The girl smiled and saidno. He burst into tears, ran back to his small house and locked himself in the big closet.

He is crying, and I want to go back to my mother's womb.

The girl saw him crying and ran into the villa. Although it felt strange, she was tempted.

Well, it was the villa that moved her, so she lingered here every day, hoping to see Gao Fushuai crying again.

Don't say, I met him the next morning. He asked the girl if she was his mother.

The girl was amused and didn't expect to pick up girls like this.

The girl said, I am not your mother, but I can be as good to you as your mother.

He was so happy that he didn't know where he got his strength. He held the girl in his arms and spun it.

He was so happy that he had the strength to meet someone, which made him proud.

The girl said, you can be my boyfriend!

He asked, what is a boyfriend?

The girl was teased again, saying that she is the one who is together every day.

He agreed happily.

The girl became his new mother, and they were very happy together, because the girl had maternal love. The most important thing is that girls like villas, so girls have been coaxing him.

But at this time, he was kicked out by his father and he had to go back to the house rented by his mother.

Because someone has died in that house, no one lives in it, and the decoration inside is exactly the same as that of three years ago.

When his girlfriend found out, she gave him an exaggerated scolding for several hours. He was depressed. Why did his girlfriend suddenly change?

On the New Year's Eve of 20 18, he hid in the wardrobe he bought, looked at the photo of his girlfriend in his mobile phone, and bitterly scolded Xiaomei as a bitch!

The next morning, suddenly a phone call came in. It was my girlfriend. He hesitated for a long time and wanted to answer, but when he was angry, he didn't answer, but he couldn't bear to let go. Pick up the phone and put it down, back and forth several times. For an instant, he was worried that his girlfriend would hang up in case she wanted to see him. He answered the phone happily.

Girlfriend swears like a poisonous snake, you are dead!