Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - More than 400 quotations from Jing M.Guo.

More than 400 quotations from Jing M.Guo.

I wonder if it's enough for 400. There may be duplicates. Anyway, I hope to adopt.

You can't type after that. . . . . .

Life is a fucking play. It's even more eye-popping than TV series. -"How many flowers fall in the dream"

Life is like this, always occupying an absolute leadership position. When countless fools shouted that they were in control of life and destiny, they didn't see life standing in a higher sky, revealing a mocking face. -"How many flowers fall in the dream"

Time didn't wait for me. You forgot to take me away. -"How many flowers fall in the dream"

Life is rape. If you can't resist, just lie down and enjoy it-how many flowers fall in a dream?

The more people care about themselves, the more they can't stand being bad to themselves. -"How many flowers fall in the dream"

Some people will be engraved in life forever, even if they forget his voice, his smile and his face, but every time I think of him, that feeling will never change-How many flowers are there in my dream?

Friends always shelter you from the wind and snow. If you suffer from wind and frost in the distance, and there is nothing I can do, I will also pray that the wind and frost will come to me-"in my dream, I told my mother countless times that you are not an old lady, help me have a younger brother." I remember when I said this, my mother was watching TV. She was cruel. She hit me directly with the remote control, which exploded with a bang. I really wanted to pinch her. This old lady should at least care about your daughter's head. Not the remote control that wandered out of your old belly more than 20 years ago!

A: "Little Jasmine? The name Jasmine is a virgin at first glance! "

B: "Molly, don't listen to her nonsense. Your name doesn't sound like a virgin! "

Note: Virgin in this book means a quiet woman.

You are as fat as a pig. Why should you follow your habits?

(Blood flow is sharp) "* * *, like an abortion! "

The synonym of "death" is called "abstinence from food"

"Ah, you are the writer, you see, you see, I have never seen a living writer since I was a child! Look at the old man Lu Xun in the Chinese textbook in junior high school. "

"Wen Jing wears strange clothes. She often changes her image. I really can't stand her real and unreal style. " Then she asked Wen Jing, "Why are you pretending to be a turkey?"

A large group of people are bored to death at home. If they don't come out again, I guess they will have to take a taxi and drag them directly to the madhouse.

In fact, you must use your toes to understand. ...

Ladies dress up as college students, and college students dress up as ladies. At first glance, the city is full of bad professional workers, which is spectacular.

When you see what a man is wearing, it is quite human. Even a duck will die with a grudge when he sees you!

(After the first one) Seeing a woman associate jokes shows that she is good-looking enough for Zheng in Zhou Wuwang.

To say that people don't read fashionable books means that they probably don't read anything at ordinary times, but they also read books of people who are dead or too old to knock on the coffin board.

One is a sports special student, 1.9 meters close to 2 meters, the whole gorilla, he chased me purely because of human instinct. ...

When filling in the college entrance examination volunteers:

Father: peace in everything, peace in everything,

The result was particularly safe, exceeding that university 100. ...

This fellow is like a thief at night. A pair of wolves with bright eyes are afraid that I will be too tired to fall apart ... Wen Jing stares at me as if I owe her 200 yuan. Angel Yao runs over (skips a paragraph) and says: A, just go, just stay with me. (Then A's heart moves.) It's the first time I met you. I've only known her for 500 years. How did you suddenly meet her?

It's like drawing a painting of Van Gogh.

(describing the excitement when people finally get a chance to drive) Holding the steering wheel is as exciting as getting married soon.

Yao Shanshan is still a bunker, just like the Prime Minister's wife making a plane.

Standing slightly at the door, his face was as black as black charcoal, and the coffee shop owner at the back pulled a long face, as if he had put 200 yuan out and could not get it back.

I'm glad to hear it. Of course I died in bed. Maybe I'm still standing and waiting to die. How fresh it is!

Seeing a woman bringing another woman into the office room, I don't think it's unusual to bring a dog in.

(Lan Lin wants to move. When she saw that the aunt in the community said she would get married and finally got married, she thought. )

Like she's getting married.

Someone drank Lin Lan's wine, but she drank too much. The animals on the table are mixed with the animals under the table. I seem to see an animal world in my dream.

Matches said she was comfortable in the sex industry, and she said she was selling small matches to girls ~ ~

Small temper: don't say anything, play wherever you want ~

When Lin Lan felt guilty about Wen Jing, she thought to herself: My height is 1 m 72, and I completed the "entrepreneurial history" with matches like 1 m 27 in front of her. The last sentence is as incisive as telling the truth. She said, "You see, I am such a luxurious woman that I can't stop. Am I easy? "

Lan Lin can drink red wine as cola, Wen Jing can drink white wine as red wine, and the man to be despised in the story is "drinking red wine as white wine"

Match said, * * * *, just those girls, a suit and tie, what else do you know besides Dow Jones and RMB …

Matches don't think the money given by the clients is small, so they say, "Brother, if you don't have enough money, why don't you give it two hundred?"? Your ya ride more than these horses. "

He said he had a lot of pimples on his face and looked like a litchi.

When buying a house, the owner thought when asking the sky-high price: This is the land that you have ravaged for several years, and it is not that Qin Shihuang lived in this nest for three years. You should be selling Epang Palace.

The degree of sleep is very convincing.

(Original) "Those men keep saying that they will give you a lifetime of happiness, but they actually mean the happiness of your lower body!"

(Matches scold Lin Lan and watch Lu Xu in Lin Lan's room) "Lin Lan, you big ye, don't call me a gigolo. I'm in this business. I can't find anyone for you. My little brother is much more handsome than him and stronger than the Terracotta Warriors. You said you were guarding your sister's huge warehouse and you were still looking for ducks outside. Is it easy for your sister? It's hard to cross the mountains and rivers to Shanghai.

(Lin Lan's explanation) "It is a pure relationship between men and women"; Match's reply: "It's all about men and women, pure * * *" Lin Lan thought, where is the match like illiteracy? I really doubt that she graduated from the Chinese Department with a master's degree.

The match threw a coin into the beggar's small lunch box. As a result, the beggar looked at her and said, well, it's hard for you, too

Matches describe the ugliness of women: "Look at that tooth, three layers inside and three layers outside, harvester ~!" " "

People are pale and look like jellyfish.

Lin Lan said that her mother couldn't "play" with her, and she thought, "My mother is no match for me. My head is in the fourth grade, and my mother's head is a calculator at most. "

Classic! !

Many things that we thought we would never forget were forgotten by us in the days when we never forget them.

I know I am not a good recorder, but I like to look back on the road I have traveled more than anyone else. I not only looked back, but also rushed forward angrily.

Give me a tear, and I will see all the oceans in your heart.

If God wants to destroy a person, he will go crazy. But I have been crazy for so long, why hasn't God killed me?

Will the love carved on the back of the chair, like flowers on cement, open a windless and lonely forest?

In this sad and bright March, I whipped my horse from my thin youth, through corydalis, through kapok, through the sadness and impermanence that appeared and disappeared.

If you smile once, I can be happy for several days; But seeing you cry once will make me sad for years.

Those things that we once thought were unforgettable were forgotten by us in the process of our obsession.

Lonely people will always remember everyone who has appeared in his life, so I will always think of your loneliness over and over again every night when the stars fall.

Whenever I look at the sky, I don't like to talk anymore, but I dare not look at the sky again when I talk.

I count your smiles every day, but when you were in Lian Xiao, you were so lonely. They say your smile is beautiful and undeveloped.

There is so much warmth in my life that I will give it all to you, but how can I smile at others after you leave me?

I once had a smile in my life, but it finally dissipated like a fog. That smile became a running river deeply buried in my heart, and I couldn't swim across it. The sound of that river became my desperate song day and night.

The noise and brightness of the world, the joy and happiness of the world, like a clean stream, are warm in the wind and in front of my eyes. I don't expect anything. I just want you to be happy, not sad. ...

The wind blows like a broken flower, and your smile is shaking, becoming the most beautiful ornament in my life, looking at the sky, the snow and the deep shadow of the season.

One is always on a strange road, watching strange scenery and listening to strange songs. Then one day, you will find that you have really forgotten what you tried to forget.

Hiding in a certain time, I missed the palm print for a while; Hiding somewhere, missing someone standing on the road, on the road, makes me worry.

Hold my hand and close your eyes, and you won't get lost.

[Jing M. Guo Classic Quotations] Youth is a pool of water. No matter whether you open it or hold it tightly, you can't run through the thin years between your fingers. [Jing M. Guo Classic Quotations] I suddenly feel like a gorgeous puppet, performing all the joys and sorrows, but there are always countless shiny silver silk threads on my back, manipulating my every move. [Jing M. Guo Classic Quotations] Memories are like rotten leaves. Those fresh greens have long been buried in the front end of the time scale, and only the overwhelming stench remains at the end of the time scale. However, when we decide to go alone, all the curses and betrayals are left behind. We can smile stubbornly and cry sadly, but we still keep talking. [Jing M. Guo Classic Quotations] What happened in 1999 is like a faded movie, where weeds are burned endlessly by time, and the thin boys and sad girls in the photo are left behind. No one remembers or asks when they will leave and when they will return to January. How many songs are left over from those years? We are standing in the turbulent sea of people. [Jing M. Guo Classic Quotations] What I once thought would never be forgotten will one day become unrecognizable. [Jing M. Guo Classic Quotations] Time has taught us nothing, but it has taught me not to believe a myth easily; The most admirable thing about myth is that it is not credible! Jing M.Guo's Classic Quotations: One is always on a strange road, watching strange scenery and listening to strange songs. Then one day, you will find that what you are trying to forget is over. [Jing M. Guo Classic Quotations] Happiness and happiness are so similar, but is happiness happiness happiness?

[Jing M Guo Classic Quotations] I looked at my youth on the other side of the river. I looked at it calmly and sadly. [Jing M Guo Classic Quotations] I subverted the whole world just to straighten your reflection. [Jing M Guo Classic Quotations] When the days turned into old photos and old photos of become memories, we became passers-by walking back to back, stubbornly walking in different directions step by step, without Athens and Rome. Already in no way back. [Jing M. Guo Classic Quotations] I don't expect anything, I just hope you are happy and not sad. [Jing M. Guo Classic Quotations] Because I know that there is always a smiling Gu Xiaobei waiting for me at the end of the road, which makes me brave. [Jing M Guo Classic Quotations] Some people will always be engraved in their memories, even if they forget his voice, his smile and his face, but the feeling when they think of him will never change ... [Jing M Guo Classic Quotations] I look at you smiling, silent, proud and frustrated, just like now, so I am happy with you and sad with you, but I have been standing now. [Jing M Guo Classic Quotations] Those summers have long passed away [Jing M Guo Classic Quotations] Who said that, those who left, those who left? One day, I will make a comeback, take the road I once walked, sing the songs I once sang, and love the people I once loved, but I can't afford to hate them anymore ... [Jing M. Guo Classic Quotations] Time has not passed, and summer has passed. [Jing M. Guo Classic Quotations] People who plant flowers become flower watchers, and people who look at flowers become flower burials ... all love, all hate, all wet meetings in heavy rain, all incense. You splashed ink on the broken words in the corner, so you rendered a summer without ups and downs. Cheer with tears. If I can't see you, I can't see the whole world It's good to have you alone in my world. It's lively enough. You lit up a thousand roads with a lamp, and I chose one, bowing my head and heading for happiness with you without hesitation. He looked at me from a distance. He shouted a long and gentle conversation from far away: "Hey, I've been watching you, all the time." In fact, some notes have never been sung, in fact, some torches have never been lit, but the world is full of sound and light. The tide rushes to the ancient shore, and summer connects the next summer.

What do you like?

The heavy rain swept through the village in the hot sun and flooded the next summer.

What do you like?

Skip the green spring, the sad autumn honeysuckle and the greener summer next year.

You appeared in front of me again. Eyebrows droop. Turn around and take away the rain from the whole city.

Then turn around and bring back the colorful snow. The thunder of wheat jointing rumbled through the earth.

You splashed ink on the broken words in the corner, so you rendered a summer without ups and downs.

Come next year. Next year. But I haven't waited for a crying summer solstice. A summer solstice that never comes all year round.

Avoid round-trip search.

He has never seen her.

She has never seen him.

No one has seen it. Never been here in summer solstice. The world began to rain cats and dogs. The flood season is coming. I wonder whose missing time those birds took away without waiting for me. You forgot to take me away. We all forget that the years ahead are so long that I can like someone again, just like I liked you at the beginning. However, can I really like him as much as I like you I believe. Graduation is like a window pane. We're going to smash it, then walk past it with sharp fragments, and start a completely different life after blood. Friends always shelter you from the wind and rain. If you suffer from wind and frost in the distance and there is nothing I can do, I will also pray for those storms to befall me. Small division, sometimes I always think, even if I stay with you, even if I can't help you, it's good to tell you that you are not alone. Dear God, this is not a wish I made on a whim. For this goal, I have never given up and have been working hard. You have to trust me. So, please give me the gospel to illuminate the night after, and there is still a long unknown road. If there is light, if there are fireflies, if starlight suddenly appears from the clouds, if all this light flies over his hair, you can see it. I see that everyone who runs feels that he is running away; When I saw the dark sky, I thought it was the end of the world. Maybe when I know someone is waiting for me in front, people will become particularly brave. That name is like a restless Oracle, with a vague light in the dark. No matter how melodramatic and provocative you think these words are, no matter how naive and ridiculous you think I am, I sincerely ask you to believe that I have the most serious expression when I write these words. Meet and hold your hand. Suddenly I feel like a doll, acting all kinds of joys and sorrows. There are many shiny silver silk threads on my back that control all my actions ...

I suddenly feel like a gorgeous puppet, performing all the joys and sorrows, but there are always countless shining silver silk threads on my back, manipulating my every move. If my memory is as strong as steel, should I laugh or cry? If steel corrodes like memory, is it a happy city or a ruin? You are the only rain in my dry season, and you are the only light in the darkness of Wan Li!

If one day we are not together, we should be together. My sixth wish is: I want to be friends with you for life. Maybe my personality is too negative, as long as it is sad and beautiful, I like it. If memories are as hard as steel, should I laugh or cry? If steel corrodes like memory, is this a happy city or a ruin? Many things that we thought we would never forget for a lifetime were forgotten by us in the days when we never forget them. I know you've all disappeared. But if one day, I mean if. If one day I feel sad, will you come back to see me? In a flash, in a blink of an eye, we are so old. Infinite time of gentleness, infinite time of gentleness. If one day we are not together, we should be together! What is happiness? Hide your sadness and smile at others. Lonely people always think of everyone in their lives, so I always think of you ... Every night when the stars fall, I count my loneliness over and over again. I didn't cry, but tears came down. Time is the best therapist. No matter how many wounds, they will disappear on the skin and dissolve into the heart, becoming beautiful patterns on the ventricular wall. Those things that we have been obsessed with are forgotten in the process of our obsession. Even if the whole world betrays you, I will be by your side, and we will run amok in hell together. You will never see me when I am loneliest, because I am loneliest when you are away. There is such a boy in every girl's life. He doesn't belong to love, nor is he his boyfriend. However, there must be his position within the nearest distance. When you see something beautiful, you can't help showing it to him. When you hear a good song, you can't help copying it from your mp3 player. Seeing beautiful notebooks, I can't help but buy two more for him. When I want to cry, I will send him a text message first. When I quarrel with my boyfriend, I will look for him first. Although I don't know when, he will disappear from his life and become the prince of another girl, and that girl will become a princess because of him. However, when he is still the closest to himself, every girl is trying her best to consume him and everything he brings. Every girl becomes gentle, beautiful and considerate among such boys. Although the perfect self after that has nothing to do with this boy. But such feelings always go beyond love. How can worn jeans go with your evening dress? How can my old guitar play with your piano? One day I will walk away from you quietly, without any sound. I missed a lot, and I was always sad alone. A flock of sheep were grazing on the grass when a car came. Only one sheep doesn't go to see the car and eats grass quietly. This sheep looks particularly lonely. Some things are not over yet, so forget it. Everyone is a king, dominating in his own world. You don't listen to me, but you don't want me to listen to you either. There are so many places around a person that you can pay so much. In this small circle, some people want to come in and have to leave. When will your wife come home? If I love someone, I can give up everything for him, including my life. Immature people die for a great cause, and mature people live humbly for a great cause. Forgetting is our unchangeable destiny. Everything is like a misplaced painting. Everything in the past can't go back to the past, so it slowly extends out bit by bit. Maybe we should really forget what interleaving is. Because I was brave for too long, I decided to live for you alone. I've been climbing for a hundred years.