Selected jokes of primary school students on campus

A classmate saw a beautiful junior and kept staring at others.

The junior said angrily, "Don't stare at me like a fly!" "

This classmate joked: "Nothing can be like flies, but flies stare at shit!" " "

2. Is there no one in the upper berth?

At the beginning of freshman year, a buddy came to the dormitory with his luggage on his back. He asked the boss who slept in the lower berth: Is there no one living in your upper berth?

The boss didn't care in a daze, and casually replied: No!

Hearing this, the elder brothers threw a big bag of luggage into the upper berth with all their strength!

3. Library self-study edition

Library self-study edition 1:

Excuse me, senior, how to do this problem?

Senior: I already have a boyfriend. Do you still have to ask?

Oh ... I suddenly had an inspiration.

Library self-study edition 2:

Excuse me, senior, how to do this problem?

Senior: Junior, do you have a boyfriend?

Junior: Yes.

Senior: I can't do this problem either.

4. Marking jokes on the field

On the quiet marking field, a teacher suddenly picked up a piece of paper and said to everyone, "Relax, have a brain teaser." This paper says,' My son gave the questions and my grandson invigilated them.' Please guess what should be changed in the future. "

As soon as everyone heard the interest, some said they were great-grandchildren and some said they were idiots. The answers vary.

Finally announced the answer, "Grandpa, please be merciful! ! "

5. Dialogue in the canteen

A boy finished his meal: What is this?

Chef: Fried meat with potatoes.

Boy: What's fried with potatoes?

Chef: Fried meat with potatoes.

Boy: What's fried with potatoes?

Chef: Fried meat with potatoes.

Boy: What's fried with potatoes?

Chef: Meat.

Finally, the chef woke up and added some meat to the boys!

6. Nima's primary school students are so inspirational now. Just now, on the bus, four primary school students, grade five or six, and a little boy confessed to his sister-in-law!

The little girl sent a message to the boy, saying that she got 100 in English, 95 in math and 98 in Chinese, and she promised to associate with him!

I won the second Olympics, no wonder my grades were poor and I didn't meet such a good girl!

7. Stealing fruit

The farmer visited the orchard and found a little boy climbing the apple tree. "problem children, you wait and see, I want to tell your father! ! "The boy looked up and shouted at the top," Dad, someone wants to talk to you! " "

8. Historical stories

Xiaoming is always pestering his father to tell him historical stories. Dad: "Good! Once upon a time, there was a frog. . . "Xiao Ming:" Alas! People want to hear historical stories! ! "Dad:" Well, in the Tang Dynasty, there was a frog. . . . . "

9. Touch

The father said to his son, "If you don't do your homework, you won't find a good job in the future." The son said, "I don't want to work." Father: "Then you'd better not get married and start a family." Son: "Don't get married!" " Father: "Then you'd better not fall in love and kiss girls …" Son: "I don't have time to chat with you-it's time to do my homework!"

10, I am not Qin Shihuang.

One day in Chinese class, the teacher asked Xiaoming to make sentences with the Great Wall.

Xiaoming replied, "The Great Wall is very long."

The teacher was unhappy: "No, create another one!" " "

Xiao Ming was even more unhappy and twisted his head: "Why, I'm not Qin Shihuang!

1 1. When the teacher was correcting the composition My Teacher, he found such a passage: "... Teacher, you are like a diligent gardener, sending students from one temple to another, and now you send us to this temple ..."

It turned out that the student misspelled the word "session" into "temple".

Teacher's comment: when your "temple" is sent away, I will be the abbot and not the gardener.

12. After the speech contest, the class teacher made a summary: "When we speak, the language should be concise and artistic. Mr. Lin Yutang once said,' A wonderful speech should be like a mini skirt worn by a girl, the shorter the better'. "

A student raised his hand and asked, "What if you don't say a word?"

The head teacher snapped, "No hooligans!"

13 the Chinese teacher asked the students to make sentences with "que" and "but" and explained: "These two words are turning conjunctions. But' is a small turn, like a small turn, but' is a big turn, like a big turn. "

Some students immediately said, "I only have a few buts when I go to school, but I have to turn a few buts when I go to grandma's house."

14 once in an arithmetic class, the teacher asked Xiaoming, "If you reach into your right trouser pocket to find 25 yuan money, and then reach into your left trouser pocket to find 35 yuan money, what does that mean?"

Xiao Ming replied: "This shows that my hand must have reached into someone else's trouser pocket!" " "

15, teacher: "Writing a composition is the same as cooking. Prepare the materials before cooking, and then pick and choose, take its essence and discard its dross ... "

Student: "We can pick vegetables, but we can't copy them."

zhl20 16 12