Humorous jokes

The existence of humorous jokes meets people's spiritual needs, fills the gaps in life and makes our daily life more interesting. The following are a lot of humorous jokes I have arranged for you. I hope you like it.

Humorous joke appreciation

1. Because cow dung can make flowers more colorful! So flowers have been inserted in cow dung!

My eyesight is very poor. For example, see the thumbtack on the wall over there? You can see it, but I can't.

3. My ideal college life is to have classes at eight o'clock in the morning, spend the afternoon in the library, play games, watch movies and read books in the dormitory at night, then go to bed at eleven o'clock on time, and call people to say good night before going to bed. But it turns out. There is still a gap between ideal and reality. For example, the distance between Mars and the Earth.

4. How many people are shouting hard. Actually, just lie in bed and think about it?

5. It's cool when you make money, and even better when you spend money. Everything in the world is cool. I don't care who I can spend my whole life with, and the money I spend my whole life with you is called waste paper. Finally, it just comes out of your pocket and enters his pocket. I wish you money and a future, money and a future, flowers and a future.

6. That day, I was preparing to go to the zoo to see orangutans, and you came. I told you my arrangement politely, but I didn't expect you to turn your back and shout. Didn't you see I was right in front of you? You should go to the zoo.

7. Today, Chang 'e dated Bajie, and the swan met the toad. The Weaver Girl obeyed the queen mother's orders and moved on. Don't wait, just make up your mind to love me.

8. Three generations of grandparents and grandchildren went fishing together. Grandsons saw grandpa holding a fishing rod in a daze and said to his father, "Look at your father in a daze, silly!" Dad was particularly angry and said, You talk nonsense, your dad is stupid!

9. Once I was sitting in the middle of a bus, and an old lady came on the way. Stand up at once and give your seat to the old man. The old man smiled and said, "Thank you. Sit down. There are many seats in the back. " I turned around and the position behind me was all empty. .

10. One day, I took a bus. When the bus started, the next person on the bus ran after it, shouting "Master, wait for me" while running. I saw the driver say, "Bajie, I'm at the station ahead, and I'll wait for you there."

1 1. Look at you, Yushu is in the breeze, handsome and charming, everyone loves you, and a hundred flowers bloom. You must be the best among scum and the beast among animals! And according to observation, you must have been short of calcium since childhood and lack of love when you grow up. Grandma doesn't hurt, and uncle doesn't. The left face owes pumping, and the right face owes kicking. The donkey saw the donkey kicking, and the pig saw the pig stepping. Born to be a cucumber, I owe it a pat! The day after tomorrow belongs to walnut, you owe it! Life is like a broken motorcycle, it needs kicking! Finding a wife is a screw, but not a screw!

12. If one day, you meet your ex-lover and ta's new lover in the street, please don't be sad! Someone said, "Because our mother taught us to donate old toys to people less fortunate than us."

13. Today, the princess kissed the frog and the frog became a prince. The prince knelt down and said to the princess, "Thank you for saving my beautiful and kind princess. I have another wish. " The princess blushed: "Go ahead, I will meet your requirements." So the prince took another frog out of his pocket. Another one. frog

14. Flowers on the dunghill-smelly.

15. If you have a lot of homework, you can play cards with your paper: "Math for children", "I teach three languages" and "I teach science!" Can't afford it, can't afford it, can't afford it, I'll run first.

16. The hardest thing in the world is not diamonds, but Conan's life! Explosion can't kill the sea, fire can't kill the train, sharp knife can't kill smoke, smoke can't choke, high altitude can't kill the neck, drunkenness can't kill poison, pain can't die, plane crash can't die, poison gas can't die, gun can't die, avalanche can't die? In a word, Conan never dies!

17. My router has broken the port. Now it's routing crying.

18. I wore two clothes and went out to experience a 360-degree three-dimensional wind. I bowed my head and looked up at the mushroom head. My bangs tilted left and right, turning a little to 28, then turning a little to 37, turning left to right punk, turning right to left punk, and becoming a quasi-punk. This wind is really all-round and multi-layered, and I am blown into all kinds of growls.

19. "I bet I can make you forget that you are gay now!" "But I'm not gay." "Look!"

20. Yesterday, my friend invited me to his dormitory to eat hot pot. After I went in, I saw a group of young men around a big washbasin with all kinds of hot pots and vegetables! There is still a root in the washbasin. The temperature rises quickly! Should I admire your creativity or courage?

2 1. I went to my brother's house yesterday and saw my sister-in-law who has always been good-tempered, beating my little nephew. When I asked the truth, I laughed hysterically. Sister-in-law came home early and saw a maddening scene: the little nephew took a dip in the living room and then fed it to the dog spoon by spoon for more than a month. The first thing my sister-in-law does when she comes home from work every day is to pick up the puppy and kiss it.

22. Every day, there is a ghost story in the classrooms, canteens and library study rooms of the school: a classmate points to an empty seat and says that there is someone here.

23. Eat at buddy's restaurant on National Day. After serving, the buddy called the waiter: Believe it or not, I can open the beer with my thumb. The waiter said in surprise, I don't believe my buddy said simply, then why don't you bring a bottle opener? !

24. The farmer's daughter fell in love with the young man who herded cattle, but her father objected. The farmer said that if they can put milk in the eggs, they should be together. Later, the couple made a snack that looked as crisp as an egg shell and contained frozen milk, which was approved by their father. The first pronunciation of a boy's name is Pufu, and the last pronunciation of a girl's name is Pufu. This snack is called Pufu.

25. I always thought you were cheated by a cow, but in fact you were cheated.

26. Wear two clothes to go out, experience a 360-degree three-dimensional wind, look down at the sky, look up at the mushroom head, oblique bangs left and right, turn 28 a little, turn 37 a little, turn left to right punk, turn right to left punk, and become a quasi punk. This wind is really all-round and multi-layered, and my sister is blown into all kinds of growls?

27. Digital Baby Ah Wu saves the world, Poké mon Xiao Zhi 18 years old travels around the world, Dragon Ball Wukong 18 years old attends the first world martial arts conference, Master China 18 years old takes an examination of senior chefs, Naruto Uchiha Itachi 18 years old opens the kaleidoscope sharingan, and One Piece Lufei 18 years old. !

28. When Shen Congwen chased him, Shen was a teacher and Zhang Dayi. Shen Congwen failed to catch up with the so-called suicide for a long time, which scared the little girl to death. He took a pile of love letters to the headmaster and said, "Look, Mr. Shen, he wrote to me. I am studying now, and now is not the time to talk about such things. " Unexpectedly, the principal told her, "it's all right, he writes well, you." The wicked principal is Hu Shi.

29. One day in class, the deskmate secretly played with his mobile phone, which happened to be discovered by the class teacher who was patrolling outside the classroom. The head teacher took out his mobile phone and sent a message: Why don't you listen carefully? The deskmate replied doubtfully: Who are you? The class teacher sent another message: Look out of the window. My deskmate glanced out of the window and replied, thank you for reminding me. Talk to you later. Our head teacher is staring out the window!

30. The most painful thing in the world is to be awakened by urine after a good sleep.

3 1. On the way to a bus, many people crowded up from the back door, the door could not be closed, and no one was involved. The driver was really angry at that time and shouted loudly, if you don't invest, get out, or I will get out! Everyone laughed at that time!

32. Money is like toilet paper. It looks a lot, but it disappears after use.

33. Son: "Dad, what is capital and what is labor?" Father: "well, if I borrow one hundred dollars from my neighbor's house, I will have capital." If he wants money back from me, he must work for me. "

34. Wang Guoxuan, an animal strategist, was chosen by Cobra by a landslide. The tiger comforted the fox and said, Brother, don't be depressed. Everyone says that your feet are always slippery, so they are not stable enough. Cobra wears a pair of glasses and looks like a cultural person.

35. Make money like a virgin and spend money like a rabbit; Making money is as slow as a mouse and spending money as fierce as a tiger; It is hard to make money and spend countless money; Making money is eternal, and spending money is a romantic number. In fact, if you think about it carefully, why do you want to make money without spending money? So I hope you can make more money and spend more!

36. Background: I have a stomachache and want to vomit today. There is an exam in the afternoon and the teacher is very open to us. ? Text: Halfway through the exam, I can't help but vomit. The teacher came over and said with concern, "Why, the question is disgusting?"

37. On the company bus in the morning, a colleague sitting next to her fell asleep and even snored, which attracted the attention of the whole bus. I felt ashamed of her, so I nudged her with my hand and saw her muttering: I don't want her husband, tomorrow.

I want to make out with my girlfriend. Because it's the first time for both parties, I feel that I can't just pass, so I bought red wine and candles to set off the atmosphere. They drank three cups and two cups, and I closed my eyes happily and wickedly. When I open my eyes again, it's already morning!

39. What would you do if you met a female nurse who had circumcised you before on a blind date?

40. When my classmate got married, there was also a funny scene: when the master of ceremonies said, let's invite the groom in tonight. As a result, as soon as the door opened, I saw a waiter standing at the door, chasing the light and hitting his innocent face.

Selected humorous jokes

1. One day, I took the stage on behalf of the company to receive the award, standing on the stage in high spirits and enjoying the scenery brought by the flash. Suddenly I found a colleague I knew pointing at me, as if to imply something. Is the medal upside down? I looked down. No, everything is fine. After stepping down, he passed by the buddy's position. He quietly said something that almost fainted on the spot: "Brother, your pants are not zipped."

2. A beautiful mm got on the bus, took out a card and brushed it, only hearing a drip. Old age card! The whole car was shocked and looked at her. MM said disgruntled, what are you looking at? Haven't you seen Tianshan Mu Tong?

I bought fruit at the fruit stand today and chatted with my colleagues about today's news. The aunt selling fruit asked, Who is Jobs? Colleague said: selling apples. Aunt said sadly, alas, the fruit business is not good.

Waiting for the bus at the bus stop in the morning, a man and a woman stood next to each other. They talked affectionately. The woman suddenly said, "You have developed limbs", and the man said, "I have developed five limbs, haven't I? ! "

There is a sign on the lawn of the park, which reads: "No trampling on the lawn, and offenders will be fined one yuan." A frequent visitor in the park found that the fine written on the sign was less than before and asked the service staff in the park, "Why is the fine reduced?" Didn't you need to pay a fine of five yuan before? "Waiter:" Nobody stepped on five pieces. "

6. Spending money is as simple as shit, and making money is as difficult as eating shit.

7. In high school, the Chinese teacher saw that the girl in front was sleepy and asked her to answer questions. After she stood up without saying a word, she stood for two minutes. The whole class was silent, and the teacher said helplessly, "Sit down." I saw this woman lying on the table immediately after she sat down. When class was over, the girl turned to me sleepily and said, "I dreamed that the teacher asked me to answer questions just now."

8. Today is MM's birthday. In order to be the first to send my blessing, I picked up my mobile phone on time early in the morning and sent a message: sofa.

9. When I was a child, my parents took me home. They caught me in the middle when I was walking. I sang "a chicken in my left hand and a duck in my right hand?" My dad stared at me and almost slapped me in the mouth. Who knows, my mother went on to sing, "Tell me to vomit blood at once." "There is a toad in the middle, hey hey hey hey ~"

10. A man met a beautiful woman on the Internet. I opened a room and did what I had to do. Lying down for a while, I found that she couldn't answer all the topics I talked about before. Wonder! Under his repeated threats, she finally told the truth: "It was actually my mother who talked to you before!" " Just when I was shocked, she went on to say, "I don't want my mother to find a handsome guy!" " I've been there, and my mother is embarrassed to ask for it! "