Seek classic jokes

1. Chief: Hello, comrades! Soldier: Hello, sir! The chief patted a soldier's chest and said, how well this muscle is trained! soldier

Soldier:

Chief, I'm a female soldier!

2. A farmer asked a veterinarian to breed pigs, and the veterinarian said: It seems that artificial breeding is needed. The farmer hesitated for a long time and summoned up his courage.

Yes, I'm afraid it will bite me.

One day, 0 and 8 met in the street. 0 disdainfully looked at 8 and said: Fat is fat. What belt are you wearing?

4.

A sister-in-law saw a person who was about to get off the bus drop a pack of cigarettes on the pedal, and quickly said to that person, Comrade, you dropped the cigarettes!

The man is furious: you just castrated!

5. A village woman wanted to go to the toilet for the first time in town, but she didn't meet it for a long time, so she had no choice but to ask the police: Comrade, there is a public toilet in front.

Excuse me, where is the ladies' room?

6. What would you do if I hugged you? Woman: resist! Man: What would you do if I kissed you? Woman: Resist. M: If

I ... female: it's over! Women's power is limited after all!

7. A person was constipated when he went to the toilet, and suddenly he saw a person rushing in, and it was stormy in an instant. "Dude, I really envy you, then.

Let's go ""envy what, didn't take off your pants!

A foreign youth in China can't understand the difference between "iron" and "steel". One night he came home very late, and the door couldn't be opened, so he had to

Shout: landlady, will you open your steel door? I can't get in!

9. When the nurse saw the patient drinking in the ward, she went over and whispered, "Sweetheart!" The patient smiles to say:

"Little baby."

10. On the bus, the pregnant woman standing said to the strange man sitting next to her: Don't you know I'm pregnant? I saw the man very nervous and said, but the child is not mine!

1 1.

Before he died, the old man confessed to his wife: I once had an affair, please forgive me! Wife: What a big deal! You can sleep now! Which of our children looks like you?

12.

After years of marriage, a white couple finally had a child, but the result was black. The husband blamed his wife and said, It's all your fault! You must turn off the light every time you go to bed.

13. The swimming coach is frank and loud. One day, he met a female student in the shopping mall and greeted him. He said loudly, you really didn't recognize you when you put on your clothes.

14. When a hungry wolf was looking for food, he heard a woman training her child: If you cry again, I will throw you out to feed the wolf!

The child cried all night, and the wolf waited outside until dawn and sighed, liar, women are liars!

15. A prisoner was shot.

Because the bullet was inferior, the first shot was not fired, and then it was fired.

The second shot ... the third shot ... then the prisoner cried: eldest brother, strangle me, it's really fucking scary!

16. After watching the black 100-meter run, an old lady said with tears, she was scared to death! Several coal diggers knelt in a row and were shot.

Shoot, shoot without aiming, the children are too scared to stop the rope!

Mr. Huang loves the revolution and named his son "Jun" in memory of the Red Army.

One day I took my son to class and saw a bus.

Station 8,

So he shouted at his son: Huang Jun, the Eighth Route Army is coming!

18, a bear went to the mountains to start a business. The farmer gave him a sickle and the carpenter gave him a hammer.

When the bear came to the mountain and met the tiger, he was so scared that he raised his sickle and hammer and hit him on the head.

The tiger said: I didn't see it. Are you a bear or party member!