Wonderful joke

I was studying in the library on Singles Day, and suddenly I found a note under the book that said, "I am the girl next to you. Today is a holiday, shall we have dinner together? " See you downstairs at 5: 30, if you agree. "I looked down at my watch. It was eight o'clock. ...

The most tragic singles day in history makes you afraid to turn the page!

The coup of hiding private money: I chatted with a group of stock friends one day and somehow talked about private money. When everyone was feeling that they would be discovered by each other anyway, an uncle silently said: I am in the bank. They asked, "What about the passbook or card?" Uncle smiled with a simple and honest smile: burn it, and then get your ID card to make it up when necessary.

Tell me about my younger brother who goes to school in America.

I know a little magic, so I taught my brother a little. My brother can't wait to go to school.

When I got to school, I went to my seat, took out a lot of books from my schoolbag, and then took out a teddy bear bigger than my schoolbag (hidden in the desk in advance, this kind of magic is called underestimation, that is, taking out something much bigger than a container from a container, which was actually hidden in advance, and the magician took out the rabbit from the hat for the same reason), and the students next to me were shocked.

It happened that what my brother was doing behind was his long-cherished American little MM. Little MM said to his brother, "Your schoolbag is really amazing. It can hold such a big thing. "

The younger brother said smartly, "Don't worry, there's more." Then he took out a kettle and a lunch box.

"Wow" Little MM admires her younger brother even more. "It's amazing."

Then the younger brother began to confess: "Julie (the little MM), would you like to date a handsome guy?" This is the most awesome way to express love in America. )

Little MM said, "Great!" Then I picked up my brother's schoolbag: "Is he in your schoolbag, too?"

I just saw a shota patting an uncle and asking, Dad, guess who I am! I thought to myself, this child is so cute ~ and then there appeared an identical child ... I was wrong. I ~ this child is not as low IQ as I thought.

Twin twins (plural of twin)

Now the prison management is very strict, and the number must be searched for questioning or seeing a lawyer. Cigarettes in prison are definitely good things. It is said that the internal price is 50 yuan. Every room has a boss (head nurse), and the boss doesn't work. Both prisoners in the same case were held in the detention center. A from a porter to a boss in a few years, extremely clever. B is his messenger (brother) and has been a messenger for many years.

B, B asked us for cigarettes and gave him two. B reluctant to smoke, put them in his pocket, ready to go back to honor his boss. As a result, I was searched as soon as I entered the door. This product has been working hard in it for a month.

A was summoned, and A asked us for cigarettes and gave him two. A wants to go back and pay tribute to the boss. The difference is that A takes out the skin of the cigarette in front of us and carefully puts the cut tobacco in his pocket. It's too thin for security! Go back to the toilet paper roll! After wearing this product for three days, you don't have to clean yourself and sleep in the toilet!

What is arachis duranensis? Now I firmly believe ~

A friend found a part-time job on the Internet to help the real estate company distribute newspapers. One of them is a villa area. That day, he was sending it (in the mailbox at the door). Suddenly, the door was pushed open and a mm appeared, which turned out to be his girlfriend! Mm blurted out a stupid excuse: "I am xx's sister." Say that finish, she also silly. Then we broke up.

This summer, I took a bus to buy decoration materials, and an aunt came up. After the bus started, I got up when I saw that no one gave her a seat. As soon as the aunt came over, the beauty quickly sat down, and the aunt had to stare blankly. A young man next to this beautiful woman couldn't stand it anymore, so he stood up and offered his seat to his aunt. Unexpectedly, another beauty with this beauty soon sat down again. I can't stand an uncle-level northeast person behind me. How can you two girls do this? My aunt and I sat here, so she sat there. We three gentlemen stood next to two beautiful women. They all put on headphones and fell asleep as if we didn't exist. At this time, my eyes lit up and a light blinded my dog's eyes. Why? Because these two beautiful women are wearing small suits and shirts, but the neckline is wide open. Do you understand what I see? Well, at least C's are all white lace with pink in the middle, just when I was fascinated by the beautiful scenery. I woke up with a start and looked up to see two other people watching. Of course, real men only use eye contact, and the three of us watch the whole time.

Spent the night at Niu Ge's house that night. Niu Ge won't let me sleep. Play the Three Kingdoms Kill 1v 1 and follow him until two o'clock. I said I couldn't hold on, and then I fell. Niu Ge took something out of the drawer. Say you're asleep, and I'll take him away silently. . I'll take a closer look. Holy shit. . Durex, I'm not sleepy at all in an instant. . When I came home the next day, my mother asked, What did you do with Brother Niu last night? . You look terrible. My mom and dad really didn't do anything.

When learning a driver's license, I started to learn to park, and I was so nervous that I was sweating.

I can't feel it when I'm in gear. The handle of the gear seems to have thickened because of my nervousness.

I hung up, but I didn't. I turned my head and saw that my hand was holding the knee of the coach next to me. ...

I'm a woman, and my arms are too long to do this. Fortunately, the coach is also a woman.

Once in physical education class, we were going to jump into the bunker, and it was Mr. G's turn to prepare, run up and take off. The action standard is beautiful. In the process of take-off, Mr. G kicked in the air and poof ~ a fart rang loudly and beautifully. ...

The children's shoes behind hurt themselves with laughter ... At this time, our lovely PE teacher came over and said, G, you can help jump into the bunker! !

Helpful ~

Help ~

Force ~