cold joke

1, q: Who lives in darkness all his life?

A: Tinker Bell.

Q: Why?

Because he can't see his fingers.

2. Q: Where do mobile phone users like to go most?

Attendant: Tonghua, Jilin

Q: Why?

A: "Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is busy."

3. Q: Where do users like to turn off their phones?

Attendant: Ningbo

Q: Why?

Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is power off. . .

Seven years after graduation, I finally got a big project to build a 30-meter chimney. The construction period is two months, and the cost is 300,000, but it needs funds. It was finally finished at the end of last year. Today, people went to check and accept, and they were scolded to death, and they still had no money. Shit! The drawings are upside down, and people are going to dig wells!

The doctor asked the patient how he broke his bone. The patient said, I felt sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes with a telephone pole. A fucking asshole passed by and thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a stick and gave me two!

6. The tortoise is hurt. Let snails buy medicine. Two hours have passed and the snail hasn't come back yet. The tortoise was in a hurry to scold: if I don't fucking come back, I'll die! At this time, the snail's voice came from outside the door: you fucking said I wouldn't go!

7. Q: How many brothers does Aladdin have?

A: Three, Alajia, Alabing and Alab.

8. Q: Why do Mr. and Mrs. Bush always use a female boss when they do ML?

Because George W. Bush always screws up!

9. One day, eggplant was walking in the street and suddenly sneezed a lot. It wiped its nose and said angrily, "It's taking a photo again!" "

10, the old leader lamented,

How happy you are,

Missing is everywhere,

I was on a business trip then. Not only did I not miss,

When I came back, the family of seven people crowded together.

Want to make out?

Sprinkle some sugar outside the door,

Shout again:

"Children, let me hold your mother and grab candy! ! ! "

1 1. One day, the steamed stuffed bun was walking alone on the road, and suddenly he felt hungry and ate himself in one bite. . . .

12, q: one day coffee cups and glasses were walking on the road at the same time. Suddenly someone shouted from behind: "Look out, there is a car!" " "As a result, the glass was crushed. . . Coffee cup is very good. [Advertisement: www.Sjxyx.com downloads Motorola mobile games for free] Why?

Answer: Because coffee cups have ears, but glasses don't.

13, Q: What's your last name?

A: My surname is Wei.

Q: Wei what?

Why not? My father's surname is Wei, so my surname is Wei.

14, Patient: Doctor ~ Come and see me! I have amnesia!

Doctor: When did you discover that you had this disease?

Patient: What disease ...?

15, Q: How many letters are left after subtracting E and T from 26 letters?

A: Twenty-four.

Q: Wrong! ! !

A: Why?

Q: 2 1, because ET was taken away by UFO.

16, Q: A medium-rare steak and a medium-rare steak met without saying hello. Why?

A: Because they are all unfamiliar.

17, Q: Who did Phelps admire most from China before attending the Beijing Olympic Games?

A: Ba Jin

18, Grandpa said to his grandson: Do you know that the fourteen books written by Jin Yong can be connected into couplets? Flying snow shoots at the White Deer Plain, laughing at the man of God leaning on Bi Yuan 'an!

Sun Tzu said disdainfully, do you know that seven books written by JK Rowling can be connected into one sentence? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ...

19, q: do you know what the da Vinci code is?

A:?

Q: This is Ada Finch's account. Do you know what's under the da Vinci code?

A: It's the Da Vinci Verification Code.

20. Q: Who has the flattest chest in fairy tales?

Little red riding hood ...

Because her grandmother was eaten by a wolf. ...

2 1. Dad asked his son: Why do Haier brothers only wear underwear?

Son: No Q coins.

22. Q: Do you know why Sichuanese are not afraid of spicy food?

A: I don't know.

Q: Because Sichuanese have to see a small animal before eating spicy food, and then they are not afraid of spicy food. What animal is it?

A: I don't know.

Q: Cockroaches, because I am not afraid of spicy food when I see cockroaches.

Patient: "Doctor, I seem to be half deaf. You can only hear half of what you hear. "

Doctor: "Really? Then let me test it. 88"

Patient: "44"

24. In Chinese class, the teacher writes "soft" on the blackboard and then lets everyone spell it. The boys shouted: heaven-end-soft. The teacher said: boys' pronunciation is not standard, please ask girls to supplement it. The girls shouted: the end of the day-I am soft. The monitor corrected: during the day-five nights are soft. The teacher was impatient and corrected sharply: the correct spelling should be day-five nights-I soft.

25. Q: Why can't you tell cold jokes at the seaside?

Answer: It should make the sea laugh (whistle).