Grandpa retirement joke

Crosstalk lines: your grandfather, my grandfather

A: Alas!

B: Huh?

Can I ask you something?

B: What's the matter?

Do you know my grandfather?

B: Oh! Your grandfather!

Are you familiar with it?

B: No!

A: ... I know him.

Oh, that's great. You even know your grandfather.

A: Otherwise people will say that I have a high IQ!

B: Let's just say that I have a higher IQ than you.

A: Huh? What's going on here?

I know not only my grandfather, but also my father.

I know not only my father, but also my mother.

B: I know not only my mother, but also myself.

Wow, two prodigies.

What prodigy? ! You know your grandfather, is that something to boast about? I have been playing with my grandfather since I was a child.

A: My grandfather held me since I was a child.

B: I like to touch my beard since I was a child. I often pull my grandfather's beard.

A: I like breastfeeding since I was a child. I often eat my grandpa's milk.

B: What?

No. I often eat my grandpa's hot milk.

My grandfather is older than yours.

My grandfather is older than yours.

B: My grandfather participated in the War to Resist US Aggression and Aid Korea.

A: My grandfather participated in War of Resistance against Japanese Aggression.

My grandfather participated in the boxer movement.

My grandfather took part in Dayu's flood control.

B: When Dayu was harnessing the water, my grandfather's beard turned white.

Oh, I see.

B: What do you know?

Your grandfather, the ape.

B: Fuck you.

To tell you the truth, my grandfather has retired.

My grandfather retired a long time ago.

A: Yes, yes, your grandfather should have retired long ago.

B: Why?

A: Look, which unit still has apes working?

B: Don't talk nonsense!

I mean your grandfather is an old-timer.

B: My grandfather is a retired cadre with a monthly pension of more than RMB 1000.

A: My grandfather is a retired worker with a monthly pension of more than 800 yuan.

B: My grandfather's pension is entirely at his own disposal. He always has money in his pocket and can buy whatever he wants.

A: My grandfather's retirement fee was completely paid to my father, leaving only two one-dollar steel suspenders, and my father would exchange them for two five-cent ones.

Your grandfather has no autonomy.

Your grandfather is irresponsible.

B: My father said: Your grandfather had a hard life and did his duty long ago.

A: My father said: If your grandfather lives one more day, he can earn one more day for his family.

B: My father often advises my grandfather that children and grandchildren should have their own blessings, so don't be cattle and horses for them.

A: My father often encourages my grandfather: an old horse lurks and aims at a thousand miles. Push the car if it doesn't fall down.

B: My father supports my grandfather to join the sunset tour group and go sightseeing.

A: My father supported my grandfather to buy a tricycle and go out to collect junk to earn money.

B: My grandfather likes to sing: Sunset is the most beautiful. ...

A: Come on, your grandfather doesn't sing as well as mine.

How is your grandfather singing?

A: Selling junk?

Is that singing?

A: It's the same.

B: My father bought two jinghu and a suona for my grandfather.

My father bought a mop and two brooms for my grandfather.

B: My grandfather plays jinghu and suona when he is happy.

A: My grandfather pulls a mop and blows a broom whenever he is happy.

B: Huh?

A: No! My grandfather put down the mop and picked up the broom.

B: My grandfather often invites his old friends to sing operas and dance yangko.

A: My grandfather sweeps the floor and cleans the house at home every day.

Your grandfather doesn't like entertainment?

My grandfather likes entertainment very much! Holding a mop, shouting the drums of ballroom dancing.

B: how do you pronounce it?

A: Long live Chen Wenjing, long live Chen Wenjing and long live Chen Wenjing.

Well, wait a minute. Why doesn't he have a partner?

A: Yes! This partner is inseparable from my grandfather.

B: Who is it?

A: Mops.

Dunn ... why doesn't he go dancing in the square?

A: Father said: Labor is the most beautiful dance. Let my grandfather experience the joy of dancing in labor.

B: Your father is very thoughtful!

My father has more ideas than my mother.

What else does your mother think?

My mother sings pop songs to my grandfather!

B: That's a good idea!

A: My mother gave a pile of dirty clothes to my grandfather: Sing! My grandfather sang while washing clothes:

B: How to sing?

Answer: Wash, wash, wash, Ouou, (ahem) ....

B: Your grandfather can't even!

A: My father said that my mother chose the wrong song for my grandfather.

B: Then what should your grandfather sing?

A: We workers have strength. Well, we workers have strength. ...

Don't tire your grandfather out.

My father said that the harder you work, the stronger you will become.

B: My father taught me to be a child who respects the elderly.

My father encouraged grandpa to be an example of caring for children.

B: I bought watermelon and gave the sweetest pulp to my grandfather.

I bought watermelon. Give me the sweetest pulp and the rest for grandpa.

In the future, I will. ...

Wait, what about you?

B: That's right! If I have a daughter in the future, I want her to take good care of grandpa.

Okay, okay, okay, I will. ...

Well, what will you do in the future?

A: I have a son, and I ask him to be strict with his grandfather:

B: I bought watermelon and asked my daughter to give the sweetest pulp to grandpa.

A: I bought a watermelon and asked my son to chew it for his grandfather.

B: Does your father like watermelon skin?

A: In order to make dad chew comfortably, sweetly and happily, dad chewed watermelon skin and asked his grandson to sing:

Will your father be happy?

My son sings very well!

B: How to sing?

A: If you eat mine, spit it out. ...

B: that's more like it!