It is so boring. Who can tell a joke to make me happy?

1, according to the pig's aesthetic, I am basically a handsome guy.

If you don't sleep in class, you will get drunk on the wine table.

3. After meeting me, you will suddenly find that handsome can be so single-minded!

Since both prostitutes claim to be graduates of famous universities, I now generally claim to be illiterate!

Get off the line at midnight on time, or the princess will turn back into Cinderella.

6, sit with a big milk name and enjoy the treatment of mistresses!

7, it's raining, don't forget to bring an umbrella, although the rain is not poisonous, wet things are small, gonorrhea is big!

8. I am an animal when I take off my clothes, and I am the devil wears Prada when I put on my clothes!

Since I became a bubble, no one dared to step on my head.

10, your ugliness has nothing to do with your face. ...

1 1. There are two ways to pollute a place: garbage or money!

Getting married on August 8, 2008 is a good idea.

13, looks really creative and lives really bravely!

14, the species of animals are decreasing, but the species of people are increasing?

15, you can live like a pig, but you can never be as happy as a pig!

16, as long as the sunrise appears before sunset, as long as it arrives before class.

17, people always make mistakes, otherwise the right road is crowded.

18, when the hardware can also be copied!

19, I only drink pure water when drinking water and pure milk when drinking milk, so I am very simple. ...

In order to cooperate with the successful completion of family planning work in China this year, I decided not to contact friends of the opposite sex for the time being. Thank you for your cooperation.

2 1, no money, no power, no longer good to you, can you follow me?

22. Buying a computer without broadband is like being a monk without eating.

23. I won't bend over if there is a pie in the sky, because I won't even lose money if there is a pie in the sky.

24. Buy me 10 cigarettes, why don't you go to a nightclub?

25. If I want to sweep the floor, I will never wash the dishes. If I want to wash the dishes, I will never sweep the floor. Both? You think I'm an alien!

26. It is better to sleep while watching TV in bed.

27. Give me a fulcrum, and I will put my neighbor's car in the ditch so that he won't honk when he sees me.

28. None of the women who participated in the beauty pageant can find a good man, because all the good men are married, such as me.

29. If the leader doesn't give me a raise next month, I will resign. Before I resign, I will give him two Chinese and kill him.

30. If pigs can fly, who will buy a plane? Ride a pig to heaven.

3 1, I can't find my tie again. Didn't you find a rag yesterday?

32, in Egypt, a man can marry four wives, how tired ah, or China.

33, you also let me kneel and rub the washboard, and I can't stand the electric heating!

Even if I were a toad, I would never marry my mother toad.

35. I never felt a catty of white wine, because I died after drinking half a catty.

Reading a newspaper in the toilet is equivalent to wiping your ass after defecation, which is a process, otherwise it is not called completion.

37. If the son is disobedient, he can fight properly, otherwise he will not show the majesty of Lao Tzu. This is the case in Taiwan Province Province.

38. For my mother's birthday, it is better to send two bundles of bones to cook, at least as a snack.

39. Unless the country changes its monogamy, I won't meet netizens.

40. I will still look for you in my next life, because you are the stupidest except me.

4 1, don't blame the dog for looking like a steamed stuffed bun!

Occasionally, if you live in silence, you will feel great, but if you live in silence, you will feel miserable. ...

43. When arguing, the difference between a man and a woman is like the difference between a rifle and a machine gun.

44. Men fantasize about me and I fantasize about heaven.

45. When I was dizzy, I finally understood what love was.

46. Grandpa comes from his grandson ...

47. Pigs have pig thoughts, and people have people's thoughts. If a pig has a human brain, it is not a pig-it is Bajie!

48. God, did you share a room in summer and winter? Give birth to this damn weather!

49, vulnerabilities and patches Qi Fei, blue screen * * * crash color!

50. It is normal to eat the metal line of washing the pot for breakfast, which just shows that our logistics comes in strict accordance with the order of washing the pot first and then cooking. ...

5 1, women have countless QQ numbers just to flirt with a man, while men often fill in all kinds of women with one QQ number. ...

52. Don't hang yourself on a tree. Try to die several times in a few trees ...-If you die, you will die completely!

53, on impulse, the later crisis!

54. The early bird catches the worm, and the early worm is eaten by the bird!

55. I argued with MM about whether whales are fish. Finally, I said, "The Japanese also bring a message", and she agreed that whales are not fish.

56. An iron pestle can be ground into a needle, and a wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. The material is wrong, and it's no use trying again.

57. If the answer was a virtue, I would have become a saint.

58. Life can't be like cooking. All the ingredients are ready before cooking.

59. It is said that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Looking back, I actually streaked in Too Many Cooks for 20 years!

60. Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let them take a taxi to find it.

6 1, there is an old legend that people who can see beautiful women on the campus of Beihou University will live forever. ...

62. Can eggs from all over the world unite to break stones? ! So be realistic. ...

63. Don't be afraid that your enemies are like tigers, but your teammates are like pigs!

64. Summer is not good. When I was poor, I didn't even have to drink the northwest wind. ...

I used to have a pair of wings, but I didn't use them to soar in the sky, but I put them in a pot to stew soup. ...

66. Pay more attention to Three Gorges Online, and you can share more classic inventory.

67. I am not a casual person. I am not a casual person.

68. Sleep is an art-no one can stop me from pursuing art!

69. Life is simple. Live, relax. Life is not easy.

70. After watching all the porn in the world, I have no code in my heart.

7 1, the bank said, "This is in line with international practice!" When he was in service, he said: "We must consider China's national conditions!"

72, riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, he may be a Tang priest; The one with wings is not necessarily an angel, he may be a bird man.

73. Being talented is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

74. Stand higher and pee farther.

75, life is sometimes like being raped by a eunuch-resistance is pain, not resistance is still pain!

76. My friend's name in his girlfriend's mobile phone is "He", and later they broke up and became "It". ...

77. Don't look for me if you have nothing to do, and don't look for me if you have anything to do!

78. Do you think I will watch you die? I'll close my eyes!

79. Reduce the number of boys behind each girl to six!

80. What can I do to kill your lover ...

8 1, exercise muscles to prevent being beaten!

Angels can fly because they look down on themselves. ...

83, I want to puppy love, but it's already late. ...

84. The teacher is ruthless and I have feelings.

I love you! What do you care?

87. In bed, practice is the only criterion to test kung fu.

88. Hugging is really a strange thing. When we get so close, we can't see each other's faces.

89. I only trust two people in this world, one is me and the other is not you.

90. I don't know whose wife is in my bed, and neither does my wife!

9 1, I really want to control your grandfather's crying myself: Dad!

92. Beijing University of Science and Technology cheated me for four years, so I plan to cheat the society with the knowledge taught by Beijing University of Science and Technology for life!

93. Friends around you, become famous quickly, so that my memoirs can sell well. ...

94. When you put on the wedding dress of love, I also put on the monk's cassock. ...

95. Never seen such a disgusting school-set the mid-term exam on May 8th!

96. House prices are getting higher and higher, and there are fewer and fewer good men. ...

97. If I become an emperor, I will make you a prince!

98. Shit, I've been complained! The client said that the mp3 file I gave him had no image!

99, you will never become an excellent college student, relying on excellent quality!

100, in fact, I am a genius, but unfortunately I am jealous of talents! ,

I hope to adopt. . .