Chinese Etiquette - The Way of Host and Guest

China’s dining table culture has a long history. From ancient times to the present, the order of seats on the dining table has been very strict. People often make mistakes because they don’t understand table culture. What issues should we pay attention to at the table? This article will discuss this topic.

Catering is a common social activity. China’s catering culture is very rich. Chinese people are hospitable and pay great attention to dining etiquette. Whether it is Chinese food or Western food, it is nothing more than two aspects of etiquette. One is the etiquette norms from one's own, such as appropriate meals and elegant manners; the other is the etiquette norms outside oneself when dining, such as menus, music, environment, etc.

Chinese food etiquette is an important part of Chinese food culture. To learn Chinese food etiquette, you mainly need to pay attention to mastering the rules and skills in six aspects: dining method, time and place selection, menu arrangement, seat arrangement, tableware use, and dining behavior. Several common dining styles

We mainly introduce the etiquette norms in specific forms such as banquets, family banquets, casual meals, and work meals (including buffets).

1. A banquet usually refers to a social gathering in the form of a meal. It can be divided into two types: formal banquet and informal banquet. A formal banquet is a grand and formal banquet. It is often a large-scale dinner event carefully arranged to entertain special guests. It is held in a relatively high-end hotel or other specific location and pays attention to the pomp and atmosphere. There are often very strict requirements and particularities regarding the number of attendees, dress, seat arrangement, number of dishes, music performances, speeches by the guests and hosts, etc. Informal banquets, also called casual banquets, are also suitable for formal interpersonal interactions, but are more common in daily interactions. Its form is simple and focuses on interpersonal communication rather than scale and grade. Generally speaking, it only arranges relevant personnel to participate, and does not invite spouses. It often does not set excessive requirements on dress, seat arrangement, and number of dishes, and it does not arrange music performances or speeches by the guests and hosts. Chinese banquets refer to banquets in traditional Chinese ethnic style and comply with Chinese eating habits and etiquette norms. Banquet activities can be roughly divided into three types in terms of their purpose: one is ceremonial, such as to welcome important guests or official visits of political figures; to celebrate a major festival or hold an important ceremony, etc. The banquets held are all ceremonial needs, and such banquets must have certain protocol specifications and procedures. The other is sociable, mainly for communicating feelings, expressing friendship, and developing friendship, such as greetings, seeing off, saying goodbye, gatherings, etc. The other type is of a work nature, where the host or the banquet attendees hold a banquet to solve a certain work, so that they can discuss the work at the table. These three situations often intersect and serve as a combination. The purpose and form of the banquet are different, but the basic etiquette followed by the guests and hosts is the same.

Basic banquet etiquette

1) Seating arrangement. For formal banquets, the seats are usually arranged in advance so that the banquet attendees can be seated in an orderly manner. It is also a courtesy to the guests. For informal banquets, it is not necessary to arrange the seats in advance, but usually there are upper and lower seats. The following points should be considered when arranging seats: First, center on the owner's position. If there is a hostess participating, arrange them in order with the host and hostess as the center, and those closest to the host as the top; secondly, the guest of honor and his wife should be placed in the most important position. Usually the right side is up, that is, the owner's right hand is the most important position. The seat farthest from the door and facing the door is the upper seat, the seat closest to the door and with your back to the door is the lower seat, the second seat is to the right of the upper seat, the third seat is to the left, and so on; three On the premise of complying with the order of protocol, try to make it easier for neighbors to talk; fourth, the host's companion should be inserted between the guests as much as possible to facilitate conversation with the guests and avoid sitting together with their own people.

2) Guest and host etiquette

Host etiquette

It should be said that the success of the banquet depends on the host's hospitality, generous hospitality and meticulous and thoughtful organizational arrangements. In terms of etiquette, the host's duty is to make every guest feel welcomed by the host.

When the host holds a banquet, whether it is Chinese food or Western food, no matter what the reason and purpose, the host should send a verbal or written invitation to the guests in advance, and arrange the time and place of the treat according to the guests' habits and characteristics. The etiquette of ceremonial banquets is more solemn and exquisite. Before the banquet begins, the host should stand in front of the door to greet the guests with a smile, with the younger ones in front and the elders behind. Greet each guest in turn. After most of the guests have arrived, return to the banquet venue and greet and socialize with the guests separately. (Family banquets are more casual. The host does not necessarily greet guests at the door. Shake hands and say hello when you arrive). The host must be sincere and sincere to his guests and treat them equally. He must not only pay attention to entertaining one or two guests and neglect other guests. Before entering the table, cigarettes and tea should not be handed over to others or served by waiters. The host should try his best to hand over the cigarettes and pour the tea himself. After serving the food, the host should first toast to the guests and say some kind words of thanks for coming. After that, every time a dish is served, guests must first raise their glasses to drink, and then ask the guests to "pick up their chopsticks." Take care of the guests' dining convenience by changing dishes or turning the dining table in a timely manner. When encountering guests with special tastes, the dishes should be changed in time. After the banquet is over, the host should go to the door and respectfully see the guests off. For those guests who did not take care of much during the banquet, you should say a few words of apology and thanks. You can say a few words to the guests walking behind.

Guest Etiquette

As a guest invited to a banquet, you should show respect to your host by attending your appointment on time, behaving appropriately, and paying attention to etiquette. You should also pay attention to the following issues:

(1) Clothing. Before going to the banquet, guests should consider their attire according to the purpose, specifications, objects, customs and requirements of the host. The attire should not affect the mood of the guests and hosts, or affect the atmosphere of the banquet.

(2) Order food. If the host has arranged the dishes, the guests should not order any more. If you attend a banquet where dishes have not yet been arranged, pay attention to ordering etiquette. When ordering, don't choose dishes that are too expensive, and you shouldn't order dishes that are too cheap. If it's too cheap, the host will be unhappy and think you look down on him. If the cheapest dish is the dish you really like, then order it. Think of something and try to be as tactful as possible.

(3) Eat. Be civilized and courteous when eating, "Don't eat from horses, don't drink from cows, don't swallow by tigers, don't swallow by whales, chew food without making a sound, leave no marks on your lips, and don't throw bones and filth around." Facing a table of delicious food When it comes to delicacies, don't be in a hurry to use your chopsticks. You must wait for the host to do so and say "please" before you can use your chopsticks. Only when the host raises his glass to signal the start of the meal can the guests have their meal. If you can still bear the amount of alcohol, the first glass of wine offered to the host should be drank dry. Guests at the same table can persuade each other to drink, but they cannot force each other to drink in any way, otherwise it is rude. If you don't want or can't drink, you can decline. When picking up food, firstly, use serving chopsticks; secondly, pick up an appropriate amount of food and don’t take too much, otherwise it’s not good to leave more than you can eat. The third is to pick up the dishes in front of you, and don’t stretch your arms to reach the dishes far away; the fourth is not to use chopsticks to flip the dishes on the plate at will; the fifth is to pick up a little bit of the dishes you don’t like, and put them away. Don’t eat it on the plate. When the dish is passed to you again, you can use the excuse that the dish on the plate has not been finished yet and stop eating it. In the end, you should eat all the dishes on the plate. net. Try not to cough, sneeze, yawn, or blow your nose when eating. If you cannot suppress it, cover your mouth and nose with a handkerchief or napkin, turn around, face to one side, lower your head and lower your voice as much as possible.

(4) It is best not to leave midway when attending a banquet. As a last resort, you should say sorry to the people at the same table, and at the same time, solemnly apologize to the host and explain the whole story. After eating, you should wait until everyone puts down their chopsticks and the host signals that the table can disperse before leaving. After the banquet, you can walk up to the host one by one, shake hands and say "thank you" and say goodbye to the host, but do not hold the host's hand and keep talking, so as not to prevent the host from seeing off other guests. 2. A family dinner is a banquet held at home. Compared with formal banquets, the most important thing for family banquets is to create a cordial, friendly and natural atmosphere, so that the guests and hosts at the banquet can be relaxed, natural and casual, enhance communication with each other, deepen understanding and promote trust.

Usually, there are no special etiquette requirements for family banquets.

In order to make the guests feel the attention and friendliness of the host, basically the hostess cooks in person and the male host acts as a waiter; or the male host cooks and the hostess acts as a waiter to entertain the guests together and make the guests feel at home. feeling.

If you want to attend a banquet, then you need to pay attention to the fact that you must first dress yourself neatly and elegantly. This is to respect others and yourself.

You must also attend the banquet on time according to the time invited by the host. Except for cocktail receptions, guests are generally asked to arrive half an hour in advance for banquets. It is not considered rude to arrive a few minutes before the party starts for some reason. But being late shows lack of respect for the host and is very rude.

When entering the host's home or banquet hall, you should first say hello to the host. at the same time. To other guests, whether they recognize them or not, they should smile, nod, or shake hands to say hello; to the elderly, they should take the initiative to stand up and give up their seats to say hello; to behave solemnly and politely to female guests.

When taking a seat, your seat should be arranged by the host or receptionist, because some banquet hosts have already arranged it. If the seat is not determined, please note that the seat facing the door is the upper seat, and the seat facing away from the door is the lower seat. People of higher status, older people and women should be seated first, and then you can find a suitable seat to sit down.

After sitting down, sit upright with your feet under your seat. Do not straighten your legs or keep shaking your legs. Do not lean your elbows on the edge of the table or put your hands on the back of the seat next to you. After you are seated, don't look around or stare at the dishes on the plate, showing that you can't wait. You can have a simple conversation with your guests.

You should dress formally when dining, and do not take off your coat, let alone take off your coat midway. Generally, it is started after the host signals to start. The movements when eating should be elegant and the movements when picking up food should be gentle. And you have to put the food on your own small plate first, then pick it up with chopsticks and put it into your mouth. When bringing food into your mouth, eat in small bites and lean your elbows outward. Do not open to both sides to avoid bumping into your neighbor. Don't make any noise while eating, drinking, or drinking soup. When dining, if you want to use the condiments placed in front of other guests at the same table, say hello to others before taking them; if it is too far away, politely ask someone to do it for you. If you must pick your teeth while eating, cover it with your left hand or a handkerchief, and use your right hand to gently pick your teeth with a toothpick.

When drinking, it is disrespectful to blindly persuade others to drink or to encourage others to drink, especially to persuade or persuade people who are not strong enough to drink.

If the banquet is not over but you have finished your meal, do not leave the table at will. You must wait for the host and the guest of honor to get up and leave before the other guests can leave in turn. 3． Potluck, that is, homely meals. The locations for casual meals tend to be different and etiquette is minimal. As long as diners are ethical and pay attention to hygiene, environment and order, there is no need to worry too much in other aspects. 4. A working meal is a business gathering in the form of a meal for partners who have business relationships in business contacts to make contact, keep in touch, exchange information or discuss business. It is different from formal work meals, formal banquets and dinners with relatives and friends. It focuses on an atmosphere, intended to meet friends over a meal, and create a relaxed, pleasant, harmonious and harmonious atmosphere that is conducive to further contact. It is a business activity that is continued in the form of a meal, using the dining table as a conference table or negotiation table. Working dinners are generally small in scale and usually held at noon. The host does not need to send formal invitations, and the guests do not need to give a formal reply to the host in advance. The time and location can be chosen temporarily. For hygiene reasons, it is best to use a separate meal system or a public chopstick system. During the working meal, business conversations will continue. But what needs to be noted at this time is that in this case, do not record or videotape it like in a conference room, or arrange for someone to record it. When recording is not necessary, the other party's approval should be obtained first. Never act on your own as if you don't trust the other party. When you find that the other party is dissatisfied with this, you should not insist on doing so.

The working meal is a "business negotiation meal" between host and guest, so it is not suitable for people outside the theme to join. If you happen to meet someone you know, you can say hello, or give them a brief introduction to the people at the same table. But don't make your own decisions and leave your friends behind.

In case there is an ignorant person who refuses to leave, you can tactfully eject the guest by saying "You are very busy, I will not take up your precious time" or "We will contact you tomorrow. I will take the initiative to call you." 5. buffet. It is a modern dining style that has been borrowed from the West in recent years. It does not arrange seats or arrange a unified menu. Instead, it displays all the staple foods, dishes, and drinks that can be provided together, and the diners can choose, process, and enjoy them according to their personal preferences.

Using this method can save costs, and there is not much etiquette required, so it is convenient for both the host and the guest; everyone can listen to their wishes during the meal. When holding a large event and entertaining a large number of guests, this arrangement of meals is also the wisest choice.

The characteristic of the buffet is that there are no fixed seats, you can choose any seat, you can also stand, the format is lively, and it is easy to communicate with each other. Dishes, food and tableware are all placed on the table, allowing guests to take whatever they like and the amount, completely independently. Also pay attention to etiquette on such occasions. It’s not advisable to take too much food at one time. If you don’t have enough, you can add more, so as not to make others laugh at you for not having eaten or seeing the world. It would be even more rude to eat a bunch of food left. In addition, bones, fish bones, etc. should be moved to the side of the plate. After finishing the buffet, food cannot be taken out of the restaurant. Choose the time and place carefully

The specific time arrangements for Chinese meals, especially Chinese banquets, are divided into breakfast, lunch and dinner according to people's dining habits and different meal times. To determine the specific time for the formal banquet, it is mainly necessary to comply with folk customs. Moreover, the host should not only proceed from his own objective ability, but also pay attention to the host's and the guests' convenience. Priority should be given to the invitees, especially the actual situation of the guest of honor, and should not be indifferent to this point. If possible, you should negotiate with the guest of honor first to make it convenient for both parties. At the very least, try to provide several time options to show your sincerity, and exercise necessary control over the specific length.

In addition, when having social gatherings, the choice of dining location is also very important.

First of all, the environment must be elegant. The banquet is not only for "eating", but also for "eating culture". If the dining location is too low-grade and the environment is not good, no matter how unique the dishes are, the banquet will be greatly compromised. Whenever possible, always try to choose a quiet and elegant place to dine.

Secondly, the sanitary conditions are good. When determining the location for social gatherings, you must look at the sanitary conditions. If the dining place is too dirty and messy, it will not only cause hygiene problems, but also ruin the appetite of diners.

It is also necessary to fully consider whether it is convenient for the diners to come and go, whether there are public transportation routes, whether there is a parking lot, whether it is necessary to prepare transportation for the diners, etc. Specific questions and whether the location has adequate facilities. How to arrange a "double satisfaction" menu

According to our eating habits, it is better to say "treat us to a meal" than "treat us to a meal". Therefore, the arrangement of the menu cannot be careless. It mainly involves ordering and preparing menus.

When ordering, you must not only eat well and eat well, but also do what you can. If you order food in a big, distinctive or even random way just to show off, it will not only do you no good, but it will also make others laugh. At this time, you must be aware of it and strive not to overspend, spend frivolously, or be extravagant and wasteful. You can order a set menu or book a table. In this way, the cost is fixed, the grade and quantity of the dishes are relatively fixed, and it saves trouble. You can also order dishes on the spot during your meal according to your "personal budget". Not only does this provide greater freedom, but it also allows you to take into account your personal financial resources and tastes.

When ordering, the invitee should first tell the host that he has no special requirements and please order casually. This is actually what the host welcomes. Or carefully order a dish that is not too expensive and not everyone's taboo, and then ask others to order it. Under no circumstances should you be picky about the dishes that others order.

For a standard Chinese meal, no matter what the flavor, the order of serving is the same. Typically, cold cuts are served first, followed by hot stir-fries, followed by main courses, then desserts and soups, and finally a fruit plate. If you are serving salty desserts, be sure to serve salty soup; if you are serving sweet desserts, serve sweet soup.

Regardless of whether you are eating a big dish or not, understanding the standard serving order of Chinese food will not only help you make clever combinations when ordering, but also avoid making a fool of yourself and making jokes because you don't understand.

Before the banquet, the host needs to think twice about the menu in advance. When preparing the menu, the host should focus on which dishes can be selected and which dishes cannot be used.

There are four categories of priority dishes:

The first category is dishes with Chinese characteristics. When entertaining foreign guests, you should pay more attention to this point. Dishes such as fried spring rolls, boiled yuanxiao, steamed dumplings, lion heads, kung pao chicken, etc. are not delicacies, but because they have distinctive Chinese characteristics, they are highly praised by many foreigners.

The second category includes dishes with local characteristics. For example, Xi'an's mutton steamed buns, Hunan's Maojia braised pork, Shanghai's braised lion's head, and Beijing's mutton-shabu-shabu. When entertaining foreign guests there, these special dishes will probably be more popular than the same raw seafood.

The third category is the restaurant’s specialties. Many restaurants have their own specialties. Serving one of the restaurant's special dishes shows the owner's attentiveness and respect for the guests.

The fourth category is the owner’s specialty dishes. When holding a family banquet, the host must show off his skills in public and cook more of his own special dishes. In fact, the so-called specialty dishes are not necessarily perfect. As long as the host does it himself, this alone is enough to make the other party feel your respect and friendliness.

When arranging the menu, the dietary taboos of the guests must also be considered, especially the dietary taboos of the guest of honor. There are four main dietary taboos:

Religious dietary taboos cannot be ignored at all. For example, Muslims generally do not eat pork and do not drink alcohol. Domestic Buddhists do not eat meaty foods, which not only refers to not eating meat, but also includes pungent-smelling foods such as onions, garlic, leeks, and mustard. For health reasons, certain foods are prohibited. For example, people with heart disease, cerebrovascular disease, arteriosclerosis, hypertension and stroke sequelae are not suitable to eat dog meat. Hepatitis patients should avoid eating mutton and soft-shelled turtles. People with gastroenteritis, gastric ulcer and other digestive system diseases are also not suitable to eat soft-shelled turtles. , Patients with high blood pressure and high cholesterol should drink less chicken soup.

People in different regions often have different dietary preferences. This should be taken into account when arranging the menu. For example, people in Hunan Province generally like to eat spicy food and eat less sweet food. People in British and American countries generally do not eat pets, rare animals, animal offal, animal heads and paws.

Some professions, for some reason, often have different special taboos when it comes to catering. For example, state civil servants are not allowed to eat and drink when performing official duties, are not allowed to eat or drink excessively during official banquets, are not allowed to eat beyond the standards set by the state, and are not allowed to drink hard liquor. Another example is that drivers are not allowed to drink while working. If you ignore this, you may cause the other party to make mistakes.

At a grand and formal banquet, the menu selected by the host can also be carefully written and given to each person. Not only will the diners know it before the meal, but it can also be kept as a souvenir after the meal. Arrangement of seats

The arrangement of seats during lunch is related to the identity of the guests and the courtesy given to them by the host, so it is an important content.

There are certain differences in the arrangement of Chinese food seats under different circumstances. It can be divided into two aspects: table arrangement and position arrangement.

1. Table arrangement

In Chinese banquets, dishes and drinks are often arranged on round tables. There are two situations in arranging the order of honor and inferiority at the round table.

The first situation is a small banquet consisting of two tables. This situation can be divided into two tables arranged horizontally and two tables arranged vertically.

When two tables are arranged horizontally, the table order is based on the right side and the left side. The right and left mentioned here are determined by the position facing the main entrance.

When two tables are arranged vertically, the tables should be arranged with the far side at the top and the near side at the bottom. The distance mentioned here refers to the distance from the main entrance.

The second situation is a banquet consisting of three tables or more.

When arranging the number of tables for a multi-table banquet, in addition to paying attention to the rules of "facing to the door", "right to respect", "far to top" and other rules, you should also take into account the distance of other tables from the main table. Generally, the closer to the main table, the higher the table order; the further away from the main table, the lower the table order.

When arranging tables, the sizes and shapes of the dining tables used should be basically the same. Except for the main table, which can be slightly larger, other dining tables should not be too large or too small.

In order to ensure that guests at the banquet can find their own table promptly and accurately during the banquet, you can indicate the table the other party is at on the invitation, and hang a schematic diagram and arrangement of the banquet table arrangement at the entrance of the banquet hall. The usher guides the guests to sit by the table, or places a table number sign (written with Arabic numerals) on each table.

2. Ranking

During a banquet, the specific positions on each table also have distinctions of priority and inferiority. There are four basic methods of ranking, and they often work simultaneously.

Method one is that most hosts should sit facing the main entrance and sit at the main table.

The second method is to hold a multi-table banquet. Each table must have a representative of the host of the main table present. The location is generally in the same direction as the owner of the main table, and sometimes it can also face the owner of the main table.

Method three is that the ranking of each table should be based on the distance from the owner of the table, with the near as the top and the far as the bottom.

Method 4 is to place each table at the same position from the owner of the table. Pay attention to respecting the right, that is, based on the direction of the owner of the table, the right is respected and the left is humble.

In addition, the number of diners arranged on each table should be limited to 10 people, preferably an even number. For example, six people, eight people, ten people. If there are too many people, not only will it be difficult to take care of, but they may not be able to sit down.

According to the above four ranking methods, the specific arrangement of the round table ranking can be divided into two specific situations. They are all related to theme.

The first situation: the arrangement method of one main seat per table. The characteristic is that each table has only one host, the guest of honor sits on the right, and each table has only one conversation center.

The second situation: the arrangement of two main seats at each table. The characteristic is that the host and his wife sit at the same table, with the male host as the first host and the female host as the second host. The guest of honor and the wife of the guest of honor sit on the right side of the host and hostess respectively. Each table thus objectively forms two conversation centers.

If the guest of honor has a higher status than the host, to show respect, you can also arrange to sit in the host's seat and ask the host to sit in the seat of the guest of honor.

In order to facilitate guests to sit in their seats accurately, in addition to prompt guidance and instructions from reception staff and hosts, eye-catching personal signs should be placed in advance on the table directly in front of each guest's seat. Name place card. When holding a foreign-related banquet, the seat card should be written in both Chinese and English. The practice in our country is that Chinese is on top and English is on the bottom. When necessary, write the diner's name on both sides of the place card.

When arranging the seats for the casual dinner, if you need to arrange the tables, you can refer to the table arrangement during the banquet. The ranking can be based on four principles.

First, the right is high and the left is low.

Two people sit side by side, usually with the right as the upper seat and the left as the lower seat. This is because when Chinese food is served, the direction of serving is clockwise, and those sitting on the right are given priority over those sitting on the left.

The second is the principle of respecting the middle seat

When three people sit together for a meal, the person sitting in the middle is ranked higher than the people on both sides.

The third is the principle of facing the door first

When dining, according to etiquette and convention, those who face the front door are seated at the top, and those with their backs to the door are seated at the bottom.

The fourth is the special principle

In high-end restaurants, there are often beautiful scenes or elegant performances indoors and outdoors for diners to enjoy. At this time, the seat with the best viewing angle is the upper seat. When dining in some mid- to low-end restaurants, the upper seat is usually the seat next to the wall, and the lower seat is the seat next to the aisle.

Seating order (seat arrangement order):

Case 1, guests pay the bill

Li Er’s good friend came to visit him from a far away place. Er ceremoniously took his friend to a very high-end hotel for dinner, and invited a few buddies to accompany him. To show respect, he insisted on letting his friend sit in the innermost seat facing the door. The friend quickly declined, but he could not refuse the hospitality, so he had no choice but to sit there.

When the meal was almost finished, his friend went to the bathroom, and Li Er didn’t think much about it. After dinner, when Li Er was about to pay, the waiter said that his friend had already settled the bill. Li Er was a little unhappy and blamed his friend for rushing to pay, but his friend said: "You let me sit in this seat, how can I not pay?" Li Er didn't know what to say.

Setting etiquette. Invite the guests to take a seat first, then invite the elderly to sit next to the guests, and then sit in turn, and finally sit on the seat closest to the door. If you are bringing a child, place the child next to you after you sit down. When seated, enter from the left side of the chair. After sitting down, sit up straight and do not lower your head. Keep the distance between the dining table and your body at 10 to 20 centimeters. After sitting down, don't move your chopsticks, don't make any noise, and don't get up and move around. If something happens, say hello to the host. Before using chopsticks, you should express your appreciation to the host or person holding the spoon for their superb skills, thoughtful arrangements, warm invitation, etc.