A collection of humorous stories

Humor is a small skill. Anyone who has the ability to have humor will have good luck. Humor is a flower of wisdom that never fades. Life can sometimes be boring, boring, and boring, but no matter what Every time, remember to smile happily. Now I will introduce to you a collection of humorous stories for your convenience.

Collection of humorous stories 1

A friend of mine was sent by the head office to manage a farm in the western suburbs. One time something happened to one of their factories in Shandong, and the leader temporarily Send him over to help deal with it. There is no one in charge of the farm here, so we have to let a man named Xiao Guo, who has been working here for a long time, take charge temporarily. Because it is winter, there is nothing much to do. I just look at the yard, feed a few dogs and don’t lose anything. When I left, my friend was quite relieved. Xiao Guo had been following him for a while, so he should know how to handle it even if something happened. What he didn't expect was that after arriving in Shandong, he would receive more than a dozen calls from Xiao Guo in one day. I don't know how this one was broken, that one was broken, or he would have to take a taxi and drive more than 100 miles to buy some seeds. The taxi fare was 150 yuan, and the seed money only cost 50 yuan. Anyway, it was a time when my friend never had a quiet day. At any rate, he didn't stay in Shandong for long before he finished the matter and came back immediately. Otherwise, the phone bill would be enough for him to pay when he comes back.

Before he came back and entered the hospital, he saw that the door of the pump room outside the hospital was missing. The water pump and the electric switch box were both inside. The loss of the water pump and the electric switch box was not a small sum. Ah! I quickly went in and checked to see if it was still intact. Where did the door go? As soon as he entered the hospital, he asked Xiao Guo about it, but he didn't faint from anger. Xiao Guo said that the door fell off for some reason a few days ago, and he was afraid of losing it, so he moved it to the courtyard. My friend told us that he was stunned after hearing this! At that time, he asked him angrily, "Aren't you afraid that the things inside will be lost?" Xiao Guo stopped talking, as if he just remembered that there were still things inside. My friend was so angry that he didn't know how to praise him. The office was relatively clean when we walked into it, so luckily it was nothing. But when I turned on the water dispenser, the light didn't come on. When I asked, I said it was broken. He said that he didn't dare to take it out for repairs even though my friend was not here, so he didn't want to think about how he would drink water when the leader came back! Then he went to the bathroom, but when he turned on the light, the lights here were not on. This was again What's going on? Xiao Guo said that the lights and sockets here were out of power a few days after he left. He didn't know what happened. My friend thought that this problem hadn't happened before, so he asked Xiao Guo. Didn't the gate fall? Xiao Guo immediately said no. He had gone to see it and the answer was very positive. Since he said so and my friend didn't go to see it again, let's find someone to repair it. It happened to be repaired along with the water dispenser. I called Xiao Zhang, the electrician in the village, and asked him to come and take a look. Xiao Zhang was very honest and quick at work. He was the only eighth-level electrician in the village, so the whole village came to him for any electrical matters. The electrician Xiao Zhang answered my call and said without waiting for me to finish: "You still need to ask me to fix it? Don't you have everything?" My friend was stunned for a moment, because he was familiar with Xiao Zhang and thought he was a minor. Zhang was joking with him, but he didn't take it seriously, and continued: "Come here quickly, we haven't seen each other for a long time. We need to have a drink after this." After that, he put down the phone. After a while, Xiao Zhang came with a tool bag. He first went to the gate to take a look. After seeing it, he went to find my friend. When he saw my friend, he said, "Isn't it just that the gate is broken? I need to run over." Ah? Although I'm not as busy as you, but such a small thing is still worth calling me here? Can't you just push it up? You just miss me!" "It just fell off." My friend asked Xiao Zhang, is it? Ah, Xiao Zhang said: "I have already pushed it up." Seeing that I didn't say anything, he said again: "If you don't believe me, just take a look, they are all powered on." My friend was so angry that he was speechless. Xiao Guo happened to be there, so my friend asked him, "Didn't you say you looked at the gate? Didn't the gate fall?" Xiao Guo said, when he looked at the gate, fine. It's okay? What do you mean it's okay! Can't you tell whether the gate has fallen or not? He stopped talking. It seems that he really doesn't know what a gate has fallen. My friend didn't dare to ask him again, for fear of Xiao Zhang making a joke. Besides, the power supply of the water dispenser is on the same line as the one here. As soon as the gate is closed, the power will naturally turn on.

When Xiao Zhang, an electrician, and my friend were drinking, he said to my friend when Xiao Guo was out: "He has become famous after you left. He is the omnipotent in your hospital." I repeated "omnipotent" One sentence.

Xiao Zhang saw that my friend didn't understand, so he told my friend that after he left, Xiao Guo often chatted with people in the surrounding villages when he had nothing to do. No matter what we talked about, there was nothing he didn't understand, so Everyone gave him the nickname Almighty. In a few days, everyone knew about it, but you didn’t know it! My friend was stunned for a long time without saying a word, thinking that he didn’t even know the most basic thing like whether the gate fell or not, so he dared to go out and say anything. He knows everything, he is really capable! But thinking about it, if he was impatient, he would not close the door of the pump room. He has only been away for a few days, and he has become famous. No one can compare to him in the speed of his fame! This is really a "capable person" who can shine wherever he goes!

Collection of Humorous Stories 2

He met her on the train. He sat opposite her. He was a painter. He had been painting her, and when he gave her the drawing, they learned that they lived in the same city as each other. Within two weeks, she knew he was the love of her life.

That year, she became a bride, it was like realizing a dream, it felt so good. However, life after marriage is like a struck match. Once it is polished, there is no more light. He is informal, does not care about cleanliness, and is not good at socializing. He advocates freedom and likes to be unrestrained. Although she is as well-behaved as the Lamb of God, he still feels that marriage constrains him. But they still love each other, and he has good character and never flirts with women.

She divorced him in tears, but took away the keys to the house. She no longer cared about his disheveled hair, no longer cared about what time he took a rest, no longer cared about where he went or who he was with, she just went to tidy up the room and clean things up as always. He is also used to her visiting intermittently, and loves her more romantically than in marriage. She enjoys candlelight dinners, hiking trips, and rose beds not in love and marriage, but now. Except that the bright red marriage certificate turned into a dark green divorce certificate, they were no different from a couple.

Later, he finally became a famous artist, and the piles of paintings piled high by feet turned into dozens of colorful banknotes. She helped him with business, management, and consumption. They lived like that until he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. When he was dying, he held her hand and asked her why she would stay with him all her life without regrets. She told him that love lasts much longer than marriage. When the marriage ends, love does not, so she will stay with him for the rest of his life.

Yes, love is longer than the length of marriage. After marriage ends, love can continue. Love does not depend on the form of marriage, but on the content.

Collection of Humorous Stories 3

He and she are both small workers. Their salary is not high, but it is enough to live on. The husband is very ordinary, but the wife is very beautiful and smart.

Because each other has a lot of time, they go out to watch a movie, go to the park, or go out for dinner every month. As long as the wife wants, the husband will accompany her. He obeys his wife in everything, as long as she is happy, and as long as conditions permit, he never says "no", as if he never has any ideas of his own.

Once, they went out for dinner, and the wife asked her husband to order. The husband said, "Order what you like." The wife was a little angry: "You don't have any opinions of your own? Are you a bit coward?" The husband was stunned and sighed: "I'm just an ordinary worker. I can't give you a spacious house or a beautiful car. I just want to give you the best within the scope of what I can."

< p> There are humble men and women in the world, but there is no humble love. If you love her, give her the best. I think this should be regarded as the true meaning of marriage.

Collection of Humorous Stories 4

In the dormitory at night, everyone was getting ready to sleep.

Da Liu said: "It's too early to go to bed anyway, so why don't we all guess the riddles? I found that some idioms can be made into brain teasers to guess, which is quite funny."

Little Zhang and Xiao Zhou hurriedly agreed, but Xiao Wang yawned and said, "Go to bed early, we have classes tomorrow."

Da Liu glanced at Xiao Wang and said, "Why don't you go to bed so early?" Well, for your entertainment, let me tell you something first, guess what cloth is afraid of and what paper is afraid of?"

Xiao Zhang, Xiao Wang and Xiao Zhou thought about it for a while and couldn't think of anything. Da Liu curled his lips and said, "I'm not afraid of ten thousand. I'm afraid of the unexpected, it's so simple and I can't guess it."

After hearing this, Xiao Zhang laughed and said, "I also thought of one, which number is the laziest and which one is the most diligent.

”

After hearing this, Da Liu said: “It’s so simple and you can’t do anything without doing it.” "

Xiao Zhou gave a thumbs up and said: "Awesome, I also have someone who can't guess it. Xiao Bai looks a lot like his brother. "

Da Liu thought for a while and said: "This is difficult, but I guessed it. The truth is revealed, right? "

Xiao Zhou and Xiao Zhang said: "Da Liu is awesome, Xiao Wang, you can say the same thing. "

Xiao Wang yawned repeatedly and said: "Stop talking, go to sleep. ”

Da Liu: “No, you must say it, and it must be difficult.” "

Xiao Wang: "Okay, I really thought of one, but I must turn off the lights and go to bed after guessing. "

Da Liu said: "Hurry up and say it, I will turn off the light after I finish speaking. "

Xiao Wang: "Three eunuchs are chatting. "

Da Liu thought for a while and said: "I guess it's nonsense. "

Xiao Wang: "Yes, this just reflects the content of our conversation. "

Da Liu turned off the light in embarrassment.

Collection of Humorous Stories 5

The Qingming Festival is a festival for worshiping ancestors. Every household goes to visit the graves. To express my memory for my lost loved ones.

Erlaizi is in his early thirties. After graduating from high school, he learned to drive a car. Although his mother passed away early, his father took care of him at home. Erlaizi worked as a transporter to earn money. There was a lot of money, and although the family was incomplete, it was still well organized and happy. The original three-piece adobe house was renovated into a brick house with tiles to the top.

However, the good times did not last long. , Er Laizi got into the bad habit of gambling at some point, and lost all his savings over the past few years. The car owner also fired him, and he was idle all day long.

From then on, Er Lai Zi lost all his savings. He would sleep during the day, but at night he would become energetic and stay up all night. In the end, he lost his three brick houses, and his father was so angry that he died three years ago. Er Laizi has not been to his father's grave for many years. Today he saw people carrying baskets and carrying baskets to visit his father's grave.

He cut some from the market. He bought a pound of meat, bought a head of cabbage, mixed the stuffing for the dumplings, and mixed the noodles. He was embarrassed. He had never made dumplings before. What should he do? He rolled out a big pancake and filled all the dumpling fillings. Pour it in, wrap it up, and steam it in a big pot.

He brought a circle plate, put the big bun in it, and bought yellow paper, incense and other things. He also bought a bottle of Erguotou and carried the circle to his father's grave.

He saw that his father's grave was covered with weeds and felt desolate.

He squatted down, pulled out all the weeds, placed the big bun and the circle in front of his father's grave, poured a glass of wine, lit incense, and started chanting while burning the yellow paper.

p>

"Father, the unfilial son came to see you, did you hear it?"

He sighed and continued: "Alas! Father, since your old man passed away, for my son's sake, I miss you every day. I wanted to come early to visit your grave, but I really didn’t have the time. Please don’t blame me. "After that, he picked up the glass of wine and sprinkled it on the ground, filled another glass, picked it up and drank it in one gulp.

He poured another glass, held the glass and continued: "Father, Look at my friends who grew up with me, their children have all gone to school, but I haven’t found a wife yet. Please protect me, old man, and find a good wife who will give you a white and fat grandson. ", you don't want to watch, our family will have no descendants!" After saying that, tears burst down his face. Then he drank the glass of wine.

The second-rate son drank wine while drinking. After praying for an unknown amount of time, he fell asleep lying on his father's grave.

"Second bastard, second bastard. "The Er Laizi vaguely heard someone calling him. He quickly opened his eyes and saw that it was his father."

"Father, is it you? Where have you been? I miss you so much!" "Second Laizi cried.

"Son, wherever you have been in the past few years, you have never come to bring me food. I haven't eaten in three years." As he said, the father picked up the big bun with both hands and took a big bite. It tastes good.

"Dad, this is all my belongings. I didn't eat in the morning, please leave some for me!" The second-rate son begged his father.

"Son, your life is still so shabby now?" the father asked.

"Since I got into the habit of gambling, I lost all my family property." The second laizi sighed.

"You lost your family property, your house, your job. If you had a wife and children, you lost everything! You prodigal son." The father angrily put the bun on the ground. explain.

"The child cannot lose, but the wife loses." said the second laizi.

"Have you ever married a wife?" asked the father.

"How can I have the money to marry a wife? Until now, whose girl is willing to marry a pauper!"

"Then why did you lose your wife?" < /p>

"If I had listened to you, I would have married a wife and had children like my other friends, but now I am still single."

"Your neighbor in the past had been How's it going?"

The second-rate man sighed again and said, "Forget it, look at the people in the east who made a fortune selling fake cigarettes and wine, and they all live in two-story buildings. "

"Our ancestors have been honest farmers for generations, you must not do those harmful things," my father said after hearing this.

"Look at Xiao Sun, our neighbor to the west. He didn't even go to school for a day, so he became a doctor, treating people and giving them medicine. He almost killed people a few days ago, if he hadn't lost money. It’s private. He’s already in the bureau.”

“Alas! How come people who used to do their jobs harm others now? Alas, how can people become like this for the sake of money?” said the father with a sigh.

"Look at Lao Zhao, our neighbor to the south, who is now a bureau chief. He goes into a building and eats a cow in one meal. He keeps giving gifts every day, including food, clothing and housing for his family. , then he spends the money, and some people pay for it. With his small salary, can his wife wear gold and silver?"

"Oh, corruption, corruption, these people. Sooner or later, we will be in trouble. The Communist Party will never turn a blind eye. Sooner or later, we will settle accounts with these corrupt elements!"

/p>

"What are you talking about? Are you jealous when you see people getting rich? People make money by relying on their ability, ability, and labor. They earn it openly and spend it comfortably. Don't you? Learn from others, but curse them instead. This person's eyes are black, but his heart is red. Once his eyes become red, his heart will also become black. My child, be a good person and do things honestly. ." The father listened to Er Laizi's words.

"Then I am an honest person. I have not done anything to deceive or kidnap, but now I am poor..."

Before the second-rate scoundrel finished speaking, The father said angrily: "You are called an honest man with a habit of gambling. You don't even look at it. That person got rich by gambling, and that person didn't lose everything?"

"Father, what about me?" What should I do in the future? Please show me a clear path!"

"Child, you have to remember that the road is right in front of you, under your feet, and you have to walk on your own. To make a living by relying on the sky, the earth, and the ancestors, it is better to work hard. In today’s society, there are rich people who are diligent and poor people who are lazy.”

“Father, I remember. !" Er Laizi nodded and said.

"Okay, as long as you work hard, life will get better. If you get rich, your daughter-in-law will come to our house." The father said and knocked the second-rate son on the head.

Er Laizi shuddered and woke up. It turned out to be a dream. A piece of yellow paper with sparks fell on his head, burning his scalp and causing pain.

He carefully tasted his father's words in his dream.

Er Laizi looked in front of him. The big bun was still there, motionless. Not far away, a homeless dog looked at him with its tongue hanging out.

Er Laizi kowtowed three times to his father's grave, stood up, lightly dusted himself off, and strode forward toward the rising sun.

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