Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Nine chivalrous men in childhood

Nine chivalrous men in childhood

? This is a towering bungalow with a deep yard and lush grass. There is a well in the yard, and the shed is supported by two small wooden pillars.

? The house is located behind the street, as if to avoid it. Three narrow arched windows were painted colorful by the sun, shining with rainbow-like colors.

? There is a warehouse on the right side of the gate, and there are three windows, but they are all fake: stickers are nailed to the wall, and the shapes of window frames and sashes are painted with white paint. These three shutters look strange, and the whole warehouse seems to announce to the world that the owner of the house wants to be isolated from the world. Everything in the yard, empty stables, closed doors and empty warehouses exudes forbearing pain and silent arrogance.

? Sometimes, there is a tall old man limping around the yard, with bare chin and white beard standing like a pine needle. Sometimes, an old man with a hooked nose and beard leads a gray horse out of the stable.

? After this narrow-chested and thin-legged horse arrived in the yard, it kept nodding to everything around it, like a humble nun. The lame old man clapped loudly with his palm, whistled, took a long breath and led the horse back to the dark stable. I always feel that the old man wants to escape from home, but he seems to be enchanted and can't even get out of the door.

? Almost every day from noon to evening, there are three little boys playing in the yard. They are wearing the same gray coat and trousers and the same hat. They look so much alike. They all have round faces and taupe eyes. I can only distinguish them by their height.

? I looked at them through the gap in the fence, but they never seemed to notice me, which disappointed me.

? I really like watching them play games happily and intimately, and I also like watching the clothes they wear, especially the way they look after each other, especially the love of the two brothers for their little brother, a lively and lovely little thing. If he falls, they will laugh, just as people usually laugh at wrestlers, but instead of gloating, they will quickly pick him up and wipe the dirt off his hands and knees with burdock leaves or handkerchiefs. "Look at you silly!" Second brother hasn't forgotten to say a few words about him.

? The three of them never fight or play tricks on anyone. They are all smart and energetic.

? One day, I climbed a tree and whistled at them. Hearing the sound, they walked together unhurriedly, looked at me and whispered to each other. I thought they would definitely throw stones at me so that I could climb down, fill my clothes and pockets with stones, and then sneak back into the tree. Who knows, they seem to have forgotten me and gone to a farther corner to play. It bores me to death, but I don't want to start a war. Just then, someone called them from the window: "Go home quickly, children!" " "They walked slowly to their house like three obedient goslings.

? Many times, I sat on the branch above the fence, hoping that they would ask me to play with me, but unfortunately they never called me. Sometimes, I always feel that I am already playing with them. When I am deep in thought, I can't help laughing and shouting, which makes them look at me one after another and whisper to each other for a while. I felt embarrassed and slipped down from the tree myself.

? One day, they played hide and seek. It's the second child's turn to find someone. He covered his eyes with his hand and stood in a corner of the warehouse without peeking. His two brothers escaped and hid everywhere. The boss cleverly got into the big sleigh covered on the roof of the warehouse, but the third one wandered around the well and didn't know where to hide.

? "one!" The blindfolded second child counted. "Two …" The anxious third child climbed onto the well site, grabbed the rope, stretched out two feet, and squeezed into an empty bucket, only to hear the empty bucket "plop plop plop plop" hit the well wall and suddenly sank.

? I was shocked. I saw the oiled pulley spinning silently and quickly. I immediately realized that something was going to happen, so I jumped down and shouted, "He fell into the well!" " "

? The second child ran to the well almost at the same time as me. He grabbed the rope desperately and stood on tiptoe, so that my hand hurt that I caught the well rope in time. At this time, the boss also arrived and pulled the bucket up with me.

? "Please pull it down." He begged me.

? We finally rescued mistress who was scared out of her wits. Blood oozed from the fingers of his right hand and half of his face was scratched in several places. He was pale and soaked, but he still smiled and couldn't help but tremble and said, "I-how did I-fell ..."

? "You are crazy!" The second muttered and hugged him, gently wiping the blood from his face. The boss frowned and began to speak: "well, we can't hide it anyway." Let's go back. "

? "Will I hit you?" I asked.

? He nodded, held out his hand to me and said, "You run so fast."

? I was flattered by his words. Before I could shake hands with him, he said to his second child, "Let's go, he will catch cold. Just say that he just fell, don't mention what happened in the well. "

? "Oh." San Xiao promised, "Just say I fell into a puddle." With that, they left.

? All this is really fleeting. I looked up at the branch I just jumped off, still shaking slightly. There is a yellow leaf falling quietly.

? I didn't see them in the yard for about a week, and when they appeared again, it was more lively than before. As soon as the boss saw me, he enthusiastically shouted to me, "Come down and play with us!" " "

? We climbed into the big sleigh under the eaves of the warehouse, talked for a long time and got to know each other.

? "Have you been beaten?" I asked.

? "Yes, nothing." The boss said. I can't believe that such a good boy will be beaten like me, and I am indignant about it.

? "Why catch birds?" Xiao San asked me.

? "Because they sound good."

? "Stop scratching and let them fly by themselves."

? "Well, I'll never catch it again."

? "However, catch another one and let me fight."

? "What kind do you want?"

? "The kind that sounds good, in a cage."

? "Oh, that's a yellowbird."

? "The cat will eat." The second child said, "Dad won't agree to raise it either."

? "yes." The boss also agreed.

? "Don't you have a mother?"

? "No." The boss said. But he was immediately corrected by the second child: "Yes, yes, but the other one, not our mother. Our mother is dead. "

? "This kind of woman is called stepmother." I said.

? "yes." The boss nodded.

? The three brothers suddenly became sad and silent.

? I have long known what a stepmother is from my grandmother's story, so I know why they are silent now.

? The three brothers clung together like three identical chickens. I remembered the stepmother in the story who knew witchcraft and got the position of mother by despicable means, so I comforted them: "Don't worry, your mother will come back."

? "But she is dead, how can she come back?" The boss shrugged helplessly.

? Really not? God, how many times, not only the dead, but also those who have been cut into pieces, a few drops of holy water can bring them back to life. What's more, many people's deaths are not real deaths, but are enchanted by witches and wizards.

? I told grandma's story vividly, but the boss scoffed and said, "We all know these things, but they are just fairy tales!" " "

? The two younger brothers listened quietly, while San Xiao frowned and pursed his mouth. One elbow of the second child touched his knee, and the other arm hooked his brother's neck and unconsciously approached me.

? It's getting late and crimson clouds are hanging on the roof. At this moment, the old man with white beard suddenly appeared. He wore a brown robe and a messy fur hat, like a priest.

? "Who is he?" He pointed at me and asked.

? The boss stood up, nodded to grandpa's house and said, "He's over there."

? "Who sent him?"

? The three brothers immediately climbed out of the sleigh quietly and went home obediently. That reminds me of three obedient goslings.

? The old man roughly picked up my shoulder and carried me from the yard to the gate.

? I was so scared that I wanted to cry, but he strode so fast that I was taken to the street before I could cry.

He stopped and stood at the door, pointed at me and threatened, "Don't let me see you again!" " "

? "I'm not looking for you at all, old monster!" I yelled at him without weakness.

? His long hand grabbed me again, dragged me along the sidewalk and kept asking me the same sentence, which made me see stars like a heavy hammer hitting my head.

? "Is your grandfather at home?"

? I'm really unlucky. My grandfather happened to be at home. He stood in front of the fierce old man, raised his head, raised his beard, looked at his dull eyes, stared like two bells, and hurriedly apologized and said, "Look, his mother is not here, and I am too busy to care about him. Please forgive me, Colonel! "

? The colonel snorted loudly and shook the whole room. Then, like a stake, he turned and walked away.

? Soon, I was thrown into Uncle Peter's carriage.

? "Beaten again, son?" As he unloaded his harness, he asked me, "What bad luck have you met this time?"

? I told him what happened, but he gnashed his teeth and said angrily, "Why are you with them?" They are young masters. You got a beating for them, so you have to let them get it back! "

? He kept muttering to himself and touched a sore spot. At first, I thought what he said was reasonable, but his fleshy face kept shaking, which made people sick. I also thought those three boys would be beaten because of me, but they didn't do anything wrong to me.

? "Why should I hit them?" I said, "You will talk nonsense."

? He gave me a bad look and suddenly shouted at me, "Get out!"

? "You idiot!" I jumped to the ground and shouted.

? "Am I a fool? Am I talking nonsense? See how I tidy up you ... "He chased me in the yard, but he couldn't catch up.

At this time, my grandmother came to the kitchen corridor and I jumped on her. He complained bitterly to her: "This boy won't let others rest for a moment. Listen to him-he dares to call me a liar. I am five times his age! "

? Whenever someone lies to my face, I feel at a loss. I stood there, panicked. Fortunately, grandma turned him down: "Peter, what you said is too wide of the mark." He won't say such frivolous things! " "

? If grandpa had changed, he would have believed the coachman's story.

? From that day on, my relationship with him also fell into a malicious cold war.

? He will pretend to hit me or beat me with the reins; He deliberately let my birds go and fed them to the cat; He also ran to my grandfather from time to time to tell me about me, and he made it up every time.

? I feel more and more that he is no different from me, like a child, just dressed as an old man.

? At the first opportunity, I took his sandals apart, twisted the rope to loosen his shoes and told him to put them on. The rope was completely broken.

? One day, I put pepper in his hat and the old man choked for an hour. Anyway, I am going to rack my brains to repay you. On Sunday, he does nothing but stare at me all day. He found me sneaking around with a young gentleman more than once, and went to complain to my grandfather every time.

? I continued to play with my young master and had a good time.

? Between my grandfather's house and the courtyard wall of Ovsiennikov's house, there is a small hidden corner, hidden in the shade of elm and linden trees, surrounded by dense bone-setting trees. I dug a small hole in the wall behind the tree and squatted in the hole and whispered to them. They often come one after another, or two together, but one of them must stand and watch the wind, otherwise he is a colonel.

? They described to me how boring and uncomfortable life was.

? I asked what happened to the bird I caught. I told many interesting stories about my childhood, but they just didn't mention their father and stepmother at all, at least I don't remember them ever talking about it.

? Usually they just want to hear my story, so I am duty-bound to tell them all the stories my grandmother has heard. If there is anything forgotten, ask them to wait for me for a while, and I will run to ask my grandmother, which is also my grandmother's favorite thing.

? I mentioned my grandmother to them from time to time. Once, the boss lamented: "Grandma is the best, and we have a good grandmother."

He always repeats these words sadly: "There was." "I have had it before." "A long time ago." It makes people feel that he has lived for a hundred years, unlike being only eleven years old.

? I remember that his palm was narrow, his fingers were long and thin, but his shy eyes were as clear and shiny as the ever-burning lamp in the church.

? I also like his two younger brothers very much. They won my sympathy. I always try to make them happy. However, my favorite is their big brother.

? Whenever I talk to them, Uncle Peter approaches unconsciously. He deliberately dragged his voice to scare us: "What-?" Again-now-together? "

? Recently, it was discovered that Peter's depression would break out from time to time. I know this from the sound of opening the door when he comes back from work: at ordinary times, he opens the door slowly, and the door button just clicks lazily; But if he is in a bad mood, the doorknob will suddenly scream, as if someone is shouting pain.

? His deaf nephew went to the country to get married, and Peter lived alone in a low shed in the stable. The window is pitifully small, and the room is mixed with choking tar, moldy fur, pungent tobacco and unpleasant sweat. The smell kept me away from his house. Now, he doesn't even turn off the light when he sleeps, which makes grandpa very annoyed.

? "Be careful, Peter, don't burn down my house!"

? "Nothing will happen. I will put the lamp in the basin at night. " His eyes glanced to one side when he answered.

? During this time, I don't know why his eyes always look this way. He hasn't come to grandma's party for several days, and he doesn't invite everyone to eat jam anymore. His face is shriveled and his wrinkles are deeper. When you walk, you stagger like a patient.

? One night, there was a heavy snow. Early in the morning, my grandfather and I shoveled snow in the yard. Suddenly, I heard the latch click and a policeman came in. He closed the door, blocked it with his back, stretched out a fat finger as white as autumn, and beckoned grandpa to pass. When grandpa approached, his big nose clung to his face and mumbled something. Only grandpa repeatedly replied, "Here? What time? Let me see ... "

? Suddenly, grandpa jumped up funny and shouted, "Really? No? "

? "shh!" The police warned him not to make noise.

? Grandpa looked around, found me and said, "take a shovel and go back to the house!" " "

? I hid in a corner and they went to the coachman's dirty nest. The policeman took off his right glove and patted the palm of his left hand.

? "He is not stupid. He ran away without a horse. "

? I hurried to the kitchen and told my grandmother everything I saw and heard. She is shaking her head and kneading dough, and her hair and face are covered with flour bumps.

? "Don't steal anything." She just said as usual, "Go out and play, it's none of your business."

? I bounced back to the yard. Grandpa stood at the gate, took off his hat, looked up at the sky and drew a cross. His face changed greatly, he was angry, and one leg trembled uncontrollably.

? "I tell you, go back!" He stamped his foot and shouted at me.

? He went to the kitchen with me in person. As soon as he entered the door, he shouted, "Mom, come here!" "

? They went to the next room and whispered for a while.

? When grandma came out, she looked flustered. I knew something terrible had happened.

? "Why are you so scared?" I asked her.

? "Shut your mouth." She said weakly.

? In the next few days, the atmosphere at home was scary. Grandparents always blink secretly and say something I don't understand, which makes people more and more afraid.

? "Mom, give me all the ever-burning lamps at home." Grandpa cleared his throat and told grandma.

? At lunch, they just ate a few mouthfuls in a hurry and had no appetite, but they seemed to be waiting for someone. Grandfather drummed his cheeks wearily, coughed a few times and muttered to himself, "The devil is worse than man. You see, he pretends to be religious enough, but he is actually a believer, but what has he done behind his back! "

? Grandma sighed again and again.

? This white winter is really hard! The atmosphere at home is full of fear, which can make people suffocate every moment.

? In the evening, another policeman came, a fat man with red hair. He has been dozing on the stool in the kitchen, and snores from time to time, and his head seems to fall off.

? "How did you find out?" Grandma asked him.

? He paused for a moment and said gruffly, "Don't worry, we can find everything."

? I remember sitting by the window with an old coin in my mouth and breathing into it. I want to reflect the head of Georgi, the Christian hero who defeated the poisonous snake on the coin on the frosted glass.

? Suddenly, there was a loud noise at the door, and the door was kicked open with a bang. Petrovsky stood at the door of the kitchen and shouted to us like thunder: "Go and see what's behind your house!" "

? When she saw a policeman, she turned and ran to the aisle, but the policeman grabbed one of her skirts and asked her loudly in surprise, "Stop, what do you do?" What do you see? "

? She tripped over the threshold and fell to the ground, so she simply knelt there, wailed and panted, "I went to milk the cows and suddenly found something like boots in Kashlin's garden."

? "Nonsense, you bitch!" Grandpa was furious. "We can't have anything in our garden. The courtyard wall is so high that there is not even a hole. You're crazy. What can you see! "

? "My God!" Petrovsky pointed one finger at grandpa, and the other hand grabbed his head and cried and wiped his tears. "Heaven and earth conscience, did I lie?" . When I was walking, I suddenly found a series of footprints leading to your garden. The snow in one place was trampled, so I climbed to the fence to see what happened. Who knows, he was lying there ... "

? "Who-"

? The cries of fear continued. Suddenly, everyone seemed crazy, pushing and shoving out of the kitchen and heading straight for the yard.

? In a pit covered with snow, everyone found Uncle Peter lying there. His back rested on a charred stake and his head hung over his chest. There is a deep cut under his right ear, his mouth is open, and several blue things emerge from the cut like teeth. I was so scared that I quickly closed my eyes. From the eyelash seam, I saw the familiar harness knife and put it on his knee. His right hand is on the knife edge, and his fingers are curled into black. And the left hand has been buried in the snow. The snow under him is melting a little, and his short body is sinking deeper and deeper in the soft snow, looking more like a child. On the snow on the right, there is a red mark like a bird. I don't know what that is. The snow on the left is intact, slippery and white. His head drooped feebly, his chin pressed against his chest, and his curly beard was crushed in a mess. There is a big copper cross hanging on the bare chest, which is covered with frozen blood.

? I'm making so much noise that my head is splitting. Petrovsky's loud voice never stopped; The police also called Valleyi and asked him to go somewhere; Grandpa roared, "Don't step on footprints!"

? He suddenly frowned, looked at the ground and said in a dignified voice; "Boss, it's no use even if your voice is broken. This is God's business and must be managed by God. You guys, hey, fuck around! "

? At this time, all the people present were silent, some sighed, some drew crosses, and some stared at the dead.

? Others climbed over the fence of Petrovsky's house and stumbled into the garden, still muttering. Grandpa looked around and cried in despair, "Neighbors, why did you trample my marlin fruit tree to death?" Are you embarrassed? "

? Grandma took my hand and took me home.

? "What the hell did he do?" I asked incredulously.

? "Don't you see?" She sobbed and answered.

? All night until midnight, strangers came in and out of the kitchen and the next room, where the police gave orders. A deacon-like man wrote something in his notebook and kept calling like a duck, "What? Hey? "

? Grandma poured tea for everyone. A round-faced pockmarked man with a moustache sat at the dining table and whispered to everyone:

? "No one knows his real name, only that he is from Yerajima. Besides, his deaf nephew is not deaf at all, and he confessed everything. He knows so much about the whole thing. In addition, someone confessed that it involved three people. They robbed the church for a long time and specialized in this line ... "

? "Oh, my God!" Petrovsky sighed, blushed and burst into tears.

? I lay on the pit board and looked at the people below. They all became short, fat and hideously ugly. ...

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