Give me 10 jokes

1. Ten people, including Xiao Ming, took part in the competition. As long as they participate, they all have a chance to win prizes. After the competition, the results will be announced and prizes will be awarded, including first prize 1, 3 second prizes and 5 third prizes. Finally, Xiao Ming walked out of the meeting with a certificate. Everyone is curious. After a careful look, I won the best participation award.

A friend met a foreigner in the elevator, and three buttons on his shirt were unbuttoned. A friend said to a friend, "That foreigner's chest hair is very sexy!" " "The foreigner immediately replied in Chinese," Thank you. "

I heard Lipton found illegal pesticides in it. ...

Looking at Lipton soaking on the table, I still took a sip indifferently;

Because I think pesticides are probably fake and shoddy. 4. I went to buy fried dough sticks on Friday morning and met a couple. M: How much are the fried dough sticks?

Boss: Two for one dollar and five for two dollars.

The man asked the woman: How many do you want?

Woman: Two.

M: I'll have two, too.

Then they each took a dollar to the boss, and each took two dollars.

I'll go. Is this AA, or is it missing a muscle?

I met the stupidest robber. He ran to the gate of a sports institute and robbed a couple.

The woman is a national first-class Sanda athlete (lightweight);

Boyfriend is an active boxer (75 kg class).

It is said that at that time, the woman only said one sentence: Husband, don't go up. The robber lay down two seconds after I came.

Two minutes later, I called the police for fear of death.

The ambulance arrived twenty minutes later, and the robbers came out of the Armed Police Hospital two weeks later.

6. One day I came home from school and was bitten by a dog on the way. So I picked up the bamboo on one side and planned to hit the dog.

At this time, the owner of the dog came out and said, "It depends on the owner to beat the dog!" " " .

I listened, smiled sadly and said, "Then I'll beat the dog while watching you! 7. A group of professors were invited to board the plane. After sitting down, they were told that the plane was designed by their students.

As a result, many professors got off the plane, and only one professor sat there motionless.

Someone asked him why he didn't dare to go down quickly. He said, "Don't worry, this plane can't fly at all."

8. When watching the circus performance, I found that the tiger tamer turned out to be a young man.

At this time, the eight-year-old son asked, "When we used to watch circus performances, tiger tamers were all beautiful aunts. Why are they young uncles this time? "

I replied, "The tiger used to be a male tiger, but this time it is a female tiger."

9. I received WeChat greetings yesterday. Open it and it's a mm.

MM: "How boring!"

Me: "I'm so bored!" "I'm looking forward to her asking me out to play. )

MM: "If you are bored, you can fart to chase!" "

I deleted her without saying anything. 10. I haven't seen you for a long time and I have nothing to give you. Just give you the change in your pocket in steel.

If you meet someone who refuses to accept it, you can give him a good beating with a steel jump and let him know that we rich people are powerful.

Remember to get it when you're finished. You still have to live.