People are boring, make a happy joke!

1. In order to attract business, a gas station put up a signboard: anyone who buys gasoline can get a free local map. One day, a foreigner drove his car into a gas station. He only added two yuan of gasoline and asked for a free map. The waiter said, "What do you need a map for?" With the little gasoline you bought, I'll just show you where you are going. "

2. One day, four beggars were begging together in the street. One was blind, deaf, lame and dumb. At this time, a fat man came out of the shop. Because of the hot weather, the fat man took out a handkerchief from his pocket to wipe his sweat, and a hundred dollars fell out of his pocket lightly. The fat man didn't pay attention to walking away ... The dumb man was the first to see the money and exclaimed .. "Wow! One hundred dollars fell to the ground! !” As soon as the dumb man finished speaking, the deaf man shouted at random ... "Where is it?" Where is it? " The lame man also saw a hundred dollars .. He got up from the ground at once, faster than Scud, ran there and stepped on the hundred dollars with his lame foot, saying, "This money is mine, I got it first. < P > The dumb man disagreed and said," I saw it first. "The deaf man cried," Don't keep everyone equally! !”

The lame refused, and the dumb refused .. The three men scuffled, and the blind man on the side said slowly, "Stop fighting, the money is fake."

3. Ten headaches for modern urbanites: 1. Work, no life; 2. Have a lover, no love; 3. There is Weibo, no fans; 4. Have a residence, no housing; 5. Have a passbook and no deposit; 6. Have a business card, not famous; 7. There is overtime and no salary increase; 8. Have a career, no career: 9. Have entertainment, no happiness; 1. Have friends, but no close friends.

4. Bill. After the completion of Gates' new home, he found that the designer had played a joke on him:

1. After ringing the doorbell, the gate will not start for two minutes;

2. Not compatible with the old light bulb, need to buy a new light bulb;

3. Double-click the light switch;

4. Only one window can be opened at a time;

5. You need to choose "Hibernation", "Sleep" and "Standby" before going to bed every night;

6. When flushing the toilet, the toilet will ask you, "Are you sure you want to flush the toilet?" 5. Animals hold big parties. Kangaroo: Every time I go out shopping, I bring my own environmental protection bag and never use plastic bags that pollute the environment.

Spider: Now I seldom surf the Internet in the low-carbon era, so I concentrate on cross stitch.

The mosquito pressed the firefly without saying a word, and the firefly was angry. What are you doing? I'm looking for the power switch, save electricity!

6. At the opening of the computer company, friends and relatives drink to entertain.

with a "turn on", everyone opens a bottle of beer.

"clear!" Let's hold up bottles and have a "batch process".

"reset!" Everybody put down the bottles.

...

"Hey, don't drink, I don't have enough memory to hold it." A clap belly way.

"Hey, my keyboard doesn't work." B trembled and said incoherently.

"yes, there is something wrong with my monitor, too." C shouted, "Everything is swaying in front of me." 7. After class, the teacher said: What else do you not understand? I stretched myself and said, What class does the teacher have?

In the evening self-study, the teacher said: Don't think that I don't know that you play mobile phones ~ no one will stare at their crotch and laugh without care. . . 8. Just now, when my colleague left, I took a screenshot of his computer desktop and set print as the desktop. Then move all the files on the desktop to a folder on a disk, so that the desktop looks the same as usual. When he came back, he clicked the mouse wildly, but there was no response! It's still shutting down, turning on, turning off, turning on, turning off and turning on ...