Why am I born so poor? I envy those who were born with golden keys.

Grandpa looked tired and grandma wiped her tears. Grandma knelt before grandpa: "For God's sake, give her a break!" " ""Don't master home also have this kind of thing? She is alone, so beautiful ... ""Give her a break ... "Grandpa leaned against the wall and sneered," Who did you let go? Please forgive you ... "He suddenly grabbed her by the shoulder and shouted," But God won't forgive guilty people! " "We are dying, but we still can't live a quiet life. We won't come to a good end. We'll starve to death! Grandma smiled gently: "Grandpa, it's nothing. The big deal is to invite a meal. I will ask for it when you are at home! " "We won't starve to death!" He suddenly smiled, hugged his grandmother and cried again: "my fool, my only relative!" "We have suffered for them all our lives, and finally ..." I also cried and jumped off the kang and threw myself into their arms. I cried because I was happy. They have never talked so intimately and harmoniously. I cry because I feel sad, too. I cried because my mother came suddenly. They hugged me tightly and cried. Grandpa said in a low voice, "Your mother is here. Go with her!" " ! Your grandfather is so fierce that you don't want him, huh? "Your grandmother only dotes on you and doesn't want her, huh?" "Alas ..." Suddenly, he pushed my grandmother and me away and stood up: "Let's go, let's go, it's falling apart ..." Hurry up and call her back! "Grandma went out at once. Grandpa lowered his head and cried, "Lord, merciful Lord, did you see it?" "I don't like the way he talks to God, beating his chest is the second, mainly that tone! I said, "Mom is dead! He glanced at the bed: "Nonsense! As he spoke, he brought the bag to the kang furnace, which made a dull noise. "。 Stepfather came in. He moved a chair and sat next to his mother. Suddenly, he jumped up from his chair and shouted, "She's dead!" " "When everyone threw dirt on mom's coffin, grandma plunged into the cemetery like a blind man. She hit the cross and broke her head. Artistry's father led her to his hut. When her grandmother was washing her face, he comforted me and said, "Alas, she was born with a coffin ... rich or poor, sooner or later ..." He ran out of the hut and immediately came back with Viahel. "Look, what do you think this is?" He handed me a broken bone spur. "I gave this to you and Viahel. I want to take it away from him. I will give him two gabions ... ""Nonsense! " Viahel said angrily. "Oh, well, it wasn't me, it was him, and he gave it to you!" Viahel tried his best to make me laugh: he hung the spurs around his neck and touched the small wheels with his tongue. Yazi's father laughed exaggeratedly. Seeing that I didn't respond, he said seriously, "wake up, everyone is going to die." What is this? Isn't that bird dying? " "Come on, let's go to your mother's grave, shall we?" This made me very happy. We all set off. A few days after burying his mother, grandpa said, "Alexei, you are not a medal." I can't stand hanging you around my neck all the time! " ""Go, go, go, go to the world ... "In this way, I entered this world. A long time ago, I understood that grandpa had one god and grandma had another. Grandma wakes up every day, sits in bed and combs her enviable long hair for a long time, and tries to comb some hair off every time. Afraid of waking me up, she whispered, "ghost hair, hateful thing ..." She combed her hair, braided her hair, washed her face casually, blew her nose, and her face was still angry. She stood in front of the icon and began to pray. Only prayer can really restore her vitality. She straightened her back, raised her head and looked at the virgin's face peacefully. She drew a cross and prayed in a low voice: "The most glorious mother, you are the source of happiness, you are the blooming apple tree! "She can find new words to praise the Virgin every day, and every time I ask her to pray with all her heart." The purest heart, my protector, my benefactor, my virgin! "You are the golden sun, sweep away the cancer on the earth, don't let anyone be bullied, and of course don't let me be unlucky for no reason." Her smiling eyes are bright, as if she were much younger at once. She raised her heavy hand and slowly drew a cross on her chest. "Jesus, son of God, please be merciful to me, for the sake of the Virgin Mary …" In the morning, her prayer time is usually not too long, because she wants to make tea. Grandpa will scold her if she doesn't get the tea ready by then. Sometimes, grandpa gets up earlier than grandma. He came to the top floor and saw her praying, so he would. With a contemptuous smile, he would say over a cup of tea, "How many times have I taught you Jin Shao, you stupid head? You always go your own way. It's totally different. Can God forgive you? " "He understands me. No matter what I say or say, he will understand. " "Well, you damn Chuvash …" Grandma's God will always be with her, and she will even mention God to her livestock; People, dogs, birds, bees and plants will obey her god; God is equally kind and kind to everything on earth. The hostess of the pavilion keeps a cat, which is greedy and lazy, and especially flatters people. She has a pair of golden eyes and tousled hair, and everyone likes her. Once, the cat took a myna from the forest, and grandma took a tortured bird from its mouth: "Aren't you afraid of God punishing you, little man!" " "When others laughed at her, she blamed them." Don't think that animals don't know God! Any creature knows God as well as you do, you heartless guys ... "She talked to old horse Sharapo." Don't always be listless, God's labor! "The horse shook his head. Grandma doesn't talk about God's name as much as Grandpa does. I think grandma's god is easy to understand and not terrible, but you can't lie in front of him. Because you were embarrassed to do that, he caused a sense of shame in my heart, which is why I didn't lie to my grandmother. Once, the hostess of the pavilion quarreled with my grandfather. She scolded my grandmother and threw carrots at her. Grandma said calmly, "You are so confused! "It really makes me angry. I want revenge on this fat woman! According to my investigation, the main ways for neighbors to retaliate against each other are: cutting cats' tails, poisoning dogs, killing chickens, secretly pouring kerosene into pickles barrels, and dumping spills into Gowasu's barrels ... I want to take a more powerful approach. That day, I saw an opportunity. The hostess went down to the cellar. I closed the lid of the cellar, locked it, danced an Avenger dance on it, threw the key on the roof and ran back to the kitchen. Grandma is cooking. She didn't immediately understand why I was so happy, but when she did, she immediately kicked my chair and told me to get the key back immediately. I have to do this. Hiding in the corner, silently watching her have a cordial conversation with the fat woman just released, laughing together. " Good boy! "The hostess waved her fist at me, but her face was full of smiles. Grandma pulled me back to the kitchen and asked, "why are you doing this?" "Who told her to hit you with carrots ..." "Oh, it's for me!" "Listen, I won't put you under the stove to feed the mice! Tell your grandfather that he will skin you! " Come on, go to school ... "She ignored me all day. Before evening prayers, she sat beside me and taught me a few words that I will never forget: "Dear, remember not to interfere in adults' affairs! "Adults are being tested by God. They have all gone bad. You didn't. You didn't. You should live according to the idea of a child. " When God begins to enlighten you, follow the path of life he has arranged for you, understand? "As for who made what mistake, it is a very complicated matter, and sometimes God doesn't know." "Does God know everything?" I was surprised to ask. She sighed: "if he knows everything, then no one dares to do many things!" " "He looked at the temple from the sky and looked at it again and again. Sometimes he burst into tears and said, "My little people, dear people, how I pity you?" "Speaking of which, she cried and went to pray. Since then, her god has been closer to me and better understood. Grandpa also said that God is omnipotent, omnipresent and omnipresent. No matter what happens, he will help people with kindness. However, his prayers are quite different from grandma's. Every morning, he washed and washed, put on neat clothes, combed his brown hair, trimmed his beard, looked at the mirror and walked carefully to the icon. He always stands on the floor with a big wooden scar like a horse's eye, standing silently for a while, with his head down like a soldier. Then, he spoke solemnly: "In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit!" "The room suddenly became solemn, and flies flew around carefully. He raised his eyebrows, held his head high, pursed a golden beard and read the prayer meticulously: "Why did the judge come?" Everyone's behavior must be deserved ... "He gently caressed his chest and firmly pleaded," I will only treat you, not look at my sin ... "His right leg beat rhythmically, as if beating a prayer." Give birth to one, heal my pain for many years, and I call on you from my heart, merciful virgin! "His eyes were full of tears:" God, for the sake of my faith, don't worry about what I did and don't defend me! ""He kept crossing, burning the room like a cramp, and making some sharp noises. Later, I went to the synagogue and found my grandfather praying like a Jew. The tea urn banged on the table, and the room smelled of hot fried brown bread with milk residue. This aroused my appetite. Grandma's face is gloomy, her eyelids are drooping and she is sighing. Happy sunshine shines through the window, pearl-like dew shines brightly on the branches, and the morning air smells of fennel, sour chestnuts and ripe apples. Grandpa is still praying: "put out my painful fire, I am poor and bad!" " "I have recited the morning prayers and evening prayers. Every time, I only read my grandfather's prayer carefully to see if he mispronounced it! This kind of thing is rare, but once it happens, I can't help being happy. Grandpa finished praying and turned to us: "Hello!" We immediately bowed and everyone sat down around the table. I immediately said to him, "You left out the word' compensation' today!" "Nonsense! "But he is not confident at all, so his tone is not hard." What a big loophole! ""it should be' but my faith compensates for everything!' " But you didn't say' compensation'. ""really? " He was completely embarrassed. I know he will do something else to get back at me in the future, but at this moment, I am so happy. Once, grandma said, "Old man, God probably feels a little bored, and your prayers are always the same." "ah? How dare you say that! "He growled fiercely." You never put your heart into it! He blushed and trembled, grabbed a plate and hit his grandmother on the head: "you bastard!" " "When he told me the infinite power of God, he always emphasized the cruelty of this power. He said that if people commit crimes, they will be drowned; if they commit crimes, they will be burned to death and their cities will be destroyed. God punishes mankind with hunger and plague, and rules the world with swords and whips. "If you disobey God, you will perish!" He knocked on the table and said. I don't believe that God can be so crippled. I think all this is grandpa's imagination, the purpose is to scare me and make me afraid of him instead of God. I answered bluntly: "Of course! Do you dare not listen? " "Well, why didn't grandma say so earlier?" "She is an old fool!" He said sternly. "She can't read and has no brain. I won't let her talk to you about these big things! " "Now you answer me, how many titles does an angel have?" After I answered, I asked him, "What happened to these officials?" "Nonsense!" He grinned, avoiding my eyes and biting his lip. "God is not an official. Being an official is a human matter. " "The official eats the law and eats all the laws." -① There is only one letter difference between "legalist" and "legalist" in Russian. Grandpa made a mistake. "Fajin?" "Fajin is a habit!" At this point, he was refreshed and his eyes were shining. "It is best for everyone to live together and discuss it. It is a habit, so it becomes a law!" It's like a child playing a game. You have to say how to play it first and make a rule. This rule is Fajin. ""What does that official do? " "Immortals, like the most naughty children, have broken all the children and all the laws and regulations!" "Why?" "You can't tell!" He frowned and said, "God is in charge of everything on the earth! """people's things are unreliable. All he has to do is blow. Everything on the earth will turn to dust! I was particularly interested in immortals and asked, "But Uncle Yakov once sang that the immortals of God are messengers of light. The official of the world is the slave of Satan! " Grandpa closed his eyes, put his beard in his mouth and took a bite. His cheeks trembled and I knew he was laughing. "Tie you and hag together and throw it into the river! He shouldn't sing, and you shouldn't listen here. It is simply an alien joke! " He suddenly spoke thoughtfully: "Alas, man …" Although he was indifferent to God, he invited God to participate in his affairs like his grandmother. He invited God and many saints. Grandma knows nothing about these saints. She only knew Nikolai, Yuri, Flo and Raphael. They are also very kind to people. They traveled all over the countryside and cities, entered thousands of households and intervened in people's lives. Grandpa's saints are all victims. They were tortured, skinned and burned to death because they kicked down the idol and quarreled with the Pope! Grandpa sometimes says, "God, please help me get rid of this house, even if I only earn rubles. I want to pray for St. Nicholas! " "Grandma said to me in a sarcastic tone," Nicholas is going to replace this fool. It seems that Nicholas really has nothing to do! "I saved a book, which my grandfather taught me to read. For a long time, he wrote on it, all kinds of words. For example, this sentence: "benefactor, teach me what is" disaster ",that is, grandpa began to let go and secretly accept pawn in order to help his disappointing sons. Someone reported it, and one night, they rushed in. Search for a while, but found nothing, safe. Grandpa prayed until the sun came out. In the morning, in front of me, he wrote this sentence in his notebook. Before dinner, my grandfather and I read poems, prayers and Eflin Xilin holy book together. After dinner, he began to do evening prayers, and the room echoed with the voice of repentance: "How can I worship you and repay you, immortal god …" Bless the group from temptation, great god … "Bless me from being bullied by outsiders, wise god …" Tears for me, please remember me after death, omnipresent god … "However, grandma often said. Grandpa often takes me to church, and I do evening prayers every Saturday and on holidays. In the church, I also distinguish between people's prayers for childbirth: all priests and priests read prayers for grandpa's god, while the choir praises grandma's god. I'm talking about the difference between two gods in children's eyes, which once tore my heart out in pain. My grandfather's god scares me and makes me hostile, because he doesn't love anyone and always takes everything seriously. He is constantly looking for the evil side of human beings. He doesn't believe in human beings, only believes in punishment. Grandma's god loves everything, and I am immersed in the glory of his love. During that time, God became the most important mental outlook in my life. If there is any other impression in my mind, it is cruel, dirty, ugly and beautiful. I am always puzzled by a question. Why can't grandpa see the merciful God? My family never let me play in the street, because the street is too dirty, and I feel like I am drunk and heavy. I have no children, and the children in the street hate me very much; I don't like them calling me Kashilin, so they are calling me more and more intently: "Hey, skinny Kashi wants his grandson to come out! "hit him!" Fierce fighting. I am not younger than them, and my strength is ok, but they are almost the children of the whole street, outnumbered, and they are black and blue every time they go home. When grandma saw me, she was frightened and pitied and cried, "Oh, what's the matter, radish head?" Fight? Look at you ... she washed my face, put the wet sponge in the bruise and advised me, "stop fighting!" You are honest at home. Why are you different when you are in the street? I told your grandpa that he couldn't lock you up ... "Grandpa never scolded me when he saw my black face, only said," Did you bring a medal again? You Annick warriors, don't go to the streets again, do you hear me? " I don't have much interest in quiet streets, but I can't help running out when the children are making trouble outside. I don't care much about fighting. What I particularly hate is the practical jokes they play: letting dogs bite chickens, abusing cats, chasing Jewish sheep, drunken beggars and R0 Wa, a fool known as "dying in his pocket". Igaosha is a scrawny figure, wearing a shabby and heavy sheepskin coat, hunched and wobbled, staring at the land under his feet. To my awe, he walked on as if he didn't care at all. But he will suddenly stop, straighten up, look at the sun overhead, put on his hat and look around for a while as if he had just woken up. "Igosa, where are you going? Be careful, there is a dead fool in your pocket! " Cried the children. He pursed his mouth, awkwardly picked up the stones on the ground with trembling hands and fought back, cursing three swear words that he could never do. The children hit back at his vocabulary, which is much richer than his. Sometimes, he limped after him, and his fur robe tripped him. He fell to his knees and supported the ground with his hands like dry branches. Son, take this opportunity to throw stones at him more and more times. Dare to grab a handful of dirt on your head and fly away. The saddest thing is Gregory Ivanovich. He is blind and begging in the street. A little old woman holding his hand, he walked woodenly, tall and straight, without saying a word. The old woman took him to the door or window: "For goodness' sake, have pity on the blind man!" " "Gregory Ivanovich was silent, put on black-rimmed glasses and looked at everything in front of him. Painted hands tugged at his beard. I often see this tragic scene, but I have never heard Gregory say a word. I feel so depressed in my chest! I didn't run to find him. On the contrary, every time I run away from him, I run home and tell my grandmother. "Gregory begging in the street! ""ah! "She let out a cry of surprise." Take it and send it to him quickly! "I flatly refused. So grandma ran to the street and talked with Gregory for a long time. He smiled and wore a beard, like an old man walking, but he said nothing except a few words. Sometimes, grandma will take him home to eat something. He would be willing to walk up to him because it would be too embarrassing. I know, grandma is also very embarrassed. We all avoid talking about Gregory. Only once, after she sent him away, she walked back slowly and cried with her head down. I went over to hold her hand. She looked at me: "He is a good man and likes you very much. Why are you avoiding him? " "Grandpa why put him out? "I didn't answer her question, but asked her a question." Oh, your grandfather. She stopped, put her arms around me and almost whispered, "Mark my words, God won't let us go! He will definitely punish ... "Sure enough, after 10 years, the punishment finally arrived. At that time, grandma had rested forever, and grandpa begged wildly along the street and whispered, "Give me a steamed stuffed bun, please, give me a steamed stuffed bun!" "Alas, you people ..." It used to be him, but now there is only one bitter and exciting sentence: "Alas, you people ..." Besides R0 Wa and Gregory, I felt depressed and pointed out that there was another person I avoided as soon as I saw him, and that was Voroniha. Every holiday, she will appear in the street. She is tall and disheveled, singing obscene songs. Everyone is hiding from her, hiding behind the gate and hiding in the corner. As soon as she stepped off the street, it seemed as if she had swept it clean. Sometimes she would howl in a terrible long voice: "My children, where are you?" I asked grandma, what is this? "This is not what you should know!" She answered calmly. Yes, grandma told me about her briefly. The woman's ex-husband voronov is an official. He wanted to climb up, so he gave his wife to his boss, who took it away. Two and a half years later, when she came back, a son and a daughter were dead, and her husband lost all public funds and went to prison. She was sad, started drinking ... and was often taken away. In a word, home is better than street. Especially after lunch, grandpa went to Yakov's dyehouse, and grandma sat by the window and told me interesting fairy tales about my father. Oh, what a wonderful time it was! Grandma once saved a myna from a cat's mouth, cured it and taught it to talk. Grandma often stands in front of myna hour after hour, endlessly repeating: "Hey, you said: give my little myna-rice!" " "Myna blinks humorously, and can imitate orioles, jays, cuckoos and even kittens. But it seems difficult to learn from others. " Stop being naughty and say, give me some myna-rice! "Grandma kept teaching. Starling suddenly cried loudly, as if this is the sentence. Grandma smiled, pointed at myna's food and said, "I said you can do anything!" " "She taught myna to beg for food clearly. When I saw my grandmother from a distance, I shouted at the top of my lungs, "You-OK-Wow ……" Originally, she hung it at grandpa's house, but it didn't take long for grandpa to drive it to the top floor because she always imitated grandpa's speech. Grandpa prayed, and myna stuck the waxy tip out of the gap in the cage and shouted, "Ball, ball, ball …" Bald, bald … "Grandpa felt that this was insulting him and stamped his foot and shouted," Go away, take this little demon away, I will kill it! "There are many things worth remembering at home, which is very interesting. But a sense of oppression that I can't get rid of almost suffocates me. It seems that I have been living in a dark place. In the pit, I can't see or hear, like a blind or deaf person. ...