Interesting associations are clever, while famous associations are clever to stories.

Once upon a time, there was a master Jinshi who was overbearing and arrogant. One Spring Festival, he did this to

Show off and put such a couplet on your door:

Father Jinshi, son Jinshi, father and son Jinshi;

Mother-in-law, daughter-in-law, mother-in-law

It happened that a poor scholar in the town passed by the door of Jinshi's house and saw this couplet. he

First he showed contempt, and then he gave me a smug smile. In the evening, he will see you.

There was no one around, so I quietly added a few strokes to the couplet.

The second day early in the morning, the door of the Jinshi surrounded by a lot of people watching, they said

There was laughter and discussion, and everyone praised: "What a change! Well changed! "

The noise outside the door alarmed the master Jinshi. He quickly opened the door and was shocked.

Pass out on the doorstep.

The couplet in front of the original Jinshi has been changed by the scholar to this:

Father in the grave, son in the grave, father and son in the grave;

Mother-in-law loses her husband, daughter-in-law loses her husband, and both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law lose their husbands.

Li writes poetry.

In the Song Dynasty, there was a man named Li who liked to be flattered and wrote a poem specially for him.

Boss. This poem is long and smelly, and he pondered the antithesis of this poem until.

I thought the poem was exhausted, and I offered it with awe.

After reading the poem, the boss said to him with infinite emotion, "Your life is really unfortunate.

It's really sympathetic. "The boss asked about his misfortune, he hurriedly knelt down to make amends:

"My poem" My brother died in Jiangnan "does happen. I can't write the next sentence, in order to

Duality is neat, so we have to let the living brother be the scapegoat and let him die temporarily in Saibei. home page

I made things up and lied to my master. I should be guilty of Xiaguan's crime, so as to get your master's forgiveness. "

Forget a meal

Rural teachers teach in a family, and it is agreed in advance that a banquet will be held on Qixi Qiaoqi Festival. reach

On Tanabata, the host family didn't have a banquet, and the teacher gave the students a pair of couplets-

"The guest house is desolate, and tonight is Chinese Valentine's Day." If the students can't match, they will tell their father. Master has

Understand the meaning of Lianzhong and say with a smile, "Ah! I really forgot. " And represents the bottom line.

-"Cold Zhai is lonely, and it can be moved in the Mid-Autumn Festival next month."

By the Mid-Autumn Festival, nothing happened. The teacher went out to call the students right again-"green"

Bamboo has no intention, and it can't be tolerated immediately when it comes to festivals. "The master saw it and smiled again:" I forgot again. "Stay in the team

Next link-"If Huanghua has an appointment, why not stay after the Double Ninth Festival?"

In a blink of an eye, there was still no movement at the Double Ninth Festival. The teacher has released the first film-Han San.

Jay Chou, Sean, Han Xin and Di Renjie. The master smiled and said, "Third Sister was a native of the Han Dynasty." .

Jay Chou is from the Tang Dynasty. How did the teacher forget? "The student told his father's words to Shu and the teacher.

Said, "I haven't forgotten. It's just that your father remembered it clearly before and after the Tang Dynasty, but he just forgot it.

I have eaten. "

Fresh cattle

Once upon a time, there was a small official who made a living by teaching after retirement. He looks down on craftsmen. one

On the Dragon Boat Festival in 2008, a student invited him to dinner. The students are hiring two teachers, a tailor and a carpenter.

Fu works, and the students' father asks them to sit at the same table. The gentleman thought: these two "reds"

Foot guy ",stained with my light, to ridicule them. At dinner, he said, "Today's East.

This is a family gathering. How about we sit at the same table and read some poems to help us wake up? "Two teachers.

Answer: "All right."

He proudly said: "From one o'clock, senior officials, distinguished guests, birds, chickens, ducks and geese, without me."

Sir, how to eat chickens, ducks and geese? "

Hearing this, the tailor continued, "Under the word rain, frost, rain and dew, next to the word clothes, shirts and coats,

Pants, I don't sew shirts, jackets and pants. How can I resist the frost and snow, sir? "

The carpenter's master also said slowly, "First, raw, cow, wooden characters next to it, lattice,

Iron fences, buildings, carpenters don't build iron fences, where is your husband's cow! "

Hearing this, the retired junior official blushed and was short of breath, and there was nothing to answer.

Miaolian

In a private school in the south of the Yangtze River, Mr. Wang talked enthusiastically, but the students fell asleep and Mr. Wang woke up.

I saw a student sitting in the front row, so I taught him, "It's hard to read Confucius' books with my eyelids down. "that?

A student rubbed his eyes and casually replied, "yawning all over the sky, I want to dream of Duke Zhou."

Scholars write couplets.

Once upon a time, there was a rich man who wanted to open a hotel, so he spent three cents to buy a new store.

Lian.

A scholar went to apply. The rich man said, "couplets should praise my wine, acetic acid and pig fat.

It's crowded and there are no mice in the shop. "

Picking up a pen, the scholar quickly wrote:

The first part is: raising pigs is like a mountain, and the mouse's head dies.

The bottom line is: the jar is good, but the vinegar jar is sour.

The horizontal recognition is: more people, less illness and more money.

After the scholar finished writing, he shook his head and read the couplet as:

"Raising pigs is as big as a mountain mouse, and my head is dead."

"The wine vat is good for vinegar, and the altar is sour."

"There are many sick people and less wealth."

hieroglyph

Someone sent a horizontal plaque at the wedding with the words "Uncle Beibi" written on it, which others could not understand.

Its significance. The man explained: "the character of northerners is like the back-to-back appearance when two people don't know each other;" Than is

The way one person pursues another; Mortar is the way two people talk face to face;

The word "uncle" means that two people cooperate to give birth to a man. "

Hearing this, the crowd shouted!

Joke Spring Festival couplets

Ji Xiaolan was a scholar and writer in Qing Dynasty. On one occasion, he went home to visit relatives during the Spring Festival.

A family of three brothers asked him to write Spring Festival couplets, and he wrote a pair of "earth-shattering portals, one of the best."

"Home" is the Spring Festival couplets of "acting first". This is a terrible mistake. Some people regard it as "offensive".

Accusing him of cheating the monarch. When Emperor Qianlong learned about it, he immediately called Ji Xiaolan back to Beijing to ask about it and Ji Xiaolan.

A: "I wrote the Spring Festival couplets; There is nothing wrong. This boss sells firecrackers, which is not earth-shattering

Entrance? The second child is in charge of the fair fight. He shouted "one game, two games …" all day, didn't he?

One of the best families? Lao San sells roast chicken. Isn't it acting first? "Dry lung also said.

Laughed.

Jie Jin's scene theme couplets

Jie Jin was eager to learn since he was a child, and he was eloquent. During the Spring Festival this year, he posted a pair of Spring Festival couplets at the back door.

Lian: "The door is right, and the family has thousands of books." When I saw it outside the door, I was very unhappy, I thought,

Only people like me deserve to post this couplet, so I ordered my servant to cut down the bamboo. no

After a while, the family came to report that Jie Jin's Spring Festival couplets had been changed to: "The door is short of bamboo, but there are thousands of books at home."

Very long. "Wei was very angry when he heard this. He simply dug up the bamboo roots and found the solution of the Spring Festival couplets.

Changed to: "The door is short of bamboo, and the home has thousands of books."

Poetry in the snow

The scholar, the county palace and the rich man drank wine and enjoyed the snow, and they were full of poetry, so they put forward the idea of "Xue Rui"

Title, poetry couplet.

"It's snowing," the scholar raised his glass.

The county magistrate replied: "This is the Royal Ruiqi!"

The rich man shook his head and sang, "What are the disadvantages in the next three years?"

Outside, the beggar's head was frozen and he went in to scold a way:

"Put your mother's shit!"

A pair of Spring Festival couplets

In ancient times, there was a family who was very superstitious and wanted to make good luck in everything. On New Year's Eve,

The father and his two sons discussed and said, "Put up a new Spring Festival couplets in the class. Now let each of us say it. "

An auspicious word makes a pair of Spring Festival couplets. "The two sons nodded. Father smoothed his beard first.

Required reading: "Good year!" The eldest son thought about it and read, "Less bad luck." The second son went on to say

Read aloud: "No lawsuit!" Everyone was full of praise after reading it, so my dad wrote and wrote.

I bought a long article without punctuation and posted it in the middle of the room.

The next day, the neighbors came to pay New Year's greetings. As soon as I entered the door, I saw the Spring Festival couplets and read aloud, "Today,

This year is not good, many people go to court! "

Young master, Chinese New Year.

Once upon a time, there was a young master who used to eat, drink and be merry and idle, leaving his father's legacy.

The output has been spent, the year is approaching, and there is no firewood. On New Year's Eve, this poor young master

Wrote a pair of couplets to laugh at themselves and posted them at the door:

Thrift through a dull year.

An old pedant in Murakami sighed after reading it and added a sentence to the couplet.

Became:

Thrift early and avoid a cold year.

Miaodui

Dai Dabin 13 years old passed the provincial examination. One day, a guest came to his home to visit his father.

Knowing that he is quite talented, let him be right. The guest said:

"Full moon."

"Feng Ping." Dai Dabin answered immediately.

"How can the wind be flat?"

"If the wind is uneven, how can you enter the house through the door?"