Kneel ... funny New Year's Day campus sketch! ! Urgent ..! !

New Year's Day Spring Festival Evening Campus Funny Crosstalk Screenplay

Campus sketch

Characters: Communist Youth League Secretary, Xiao Ai, Xiaoling, Xiao Wu.

Scene: classroom

League branch secretary: classmates, classmates, comrades and compatriots. . . Same. . . Why? Please listen to me!

Three people: Go ahead.

Communist Youth League Secretary: Are you listening?

Three people: I'm listening!

Communist Youth League Secretary: Really?

Three people: Really!

Communist Youth League Secretary: Are you sure?

Three people: OK.

Communist Youth League Secretary: No remorse?

Three people: no regrets.

Communist Youth League Secretary: Are you serious? Did you lie to me?

Three people: Do you want to talk or not?

Communist Youth League Secretary: Oh, I'm starting to talk! -What am I going to say?

Three people fainted.

Youth League Secretary: Ah! ! ! ! exactly

Three people sit up.

Youth League Secretary: I really forgot what I was going to say!

Three people fainted again.

Communist Youth League Secretary: Well, get to the point, you can't get drunk again! You should keep working hard, be self-reliant, volunteer, stand on your own feet, stand on your own feet, stand on your own feet. . . Make good changes and boycott Japanese goods!

Xiaoling: What a mess!

Communist Youth League Secretary: Xiaoling! Why do you sleep in class?

Xiaoling: I was sleepy and fell asleep!

Communist Youth League Secretary: Why don't you sleep in the dormitory?

Xiaoling: I think! But the teacher won't let me go!

Communist Youth League Secretary: Can't you sleep after class?

Xiaoling: I sleep after class!

Communist Youth League Secretary: What to do in the evening?

Xiaoling: What do you do at night?

Communist Youth League Secretary: Go to sleep!

Xiaoling: We have the same habits!

Two:

New Year's Day Campus Funny Crosstalk Script

interview

Performer: He XX (hereinafter referred to as He) Song XX (hereinafter referred to as Song) (to be determined)

Opening course (scene: a desk, two chairs, books on the desk, etc. )

Ho: (holding the folder, coming to the stage from the side and waving to the side after coming up) Ok, go back, go back (some secrets are 1 14)- go back and listen to the notice, tomorrow.

I'll send you a notice. Oh, these students just feel good about themselves. You said today that they came for an interview to join the art department of the student union. The qualification and quality of the student just now 123, alas, can't be said. There is also a number four below. Ladies and gentlemen, let's see number four. Okay, look at number four. (Shouting to the side) Number four, number four, number four-.

Song: (coming on stage from the side, looking a little nervous) (rushing to the audience) God, there are so many people! (Facing the audience, waving his right hand) Hello comrades, comrades have worked hard! (pause) Let me introduce myself. My name is Song XX, and I'm here for an interview to join the Art Department of the Student Union today. Can I do that? Do not believe me to give you a poem:

The night of chemical industry is quiet, and the willows hang down green silk tapestries.

From a distance, there is a tall man with light hair.

It seems that he is still bent over there, and He Lianjiao is closer.

I still have Wei's Persian cat in my arms. How's it going?

When I was a child, people said that I had artistic cells and told me to develop well in the future, but I never got a chance. Haven't I been at school? My two sisters are really promising. Do you know who they are? Haha, my elder sister is Song Dandan and my second sister is Song Zu Ying. Have you ever heard of them? The three of us counted me in the back, didn't we? I came to harbin university of science and technology this year, and I think I can pass the interview with my qualifications and qualities. Audience friends, give some applause. Thank you. (walks over and knocks on the door) Report-

Mr. Hu: Excuse me, are you number four?

Song: (bending down) No.4 is me, and I am No.4.

Mr. Hu: OK, let's start the interview quickly. Do you know what you are doing here today? Are you ready before you come?

Song: I know what I'm here for, and I don't have much preparation. I'm a little nervous at this time. Bow down)

H: Then let's fill out a form first. Let's get to know your situation first (Looking at Song and telling him) Wow, Number Four is so nervous. Take it easy. Just relax。 I won't be so nervous if we talk for a while. Sit down and talk.

Song: (sitting down generously) What about your relaxation? Ask.

H: May I have your name, please?

Song: Ah, my name is Song XX, and I'm from the Polytechnic School. People say I look like an evil spirit, but in fact I look like my eldest nephew, his second uncle.

Ho: Song XX? How do you spell your name?

Song: Song family's song, an outstanding figure in rejuvenating China. Simple. I am an outstanding figure in the Song family to revitalize China.

Ho: (slightly surprised) Wow, that's a loud name. So your gender is male, right?

Song: (rushing to the stage) How can such a big minister be confused between men and women? Audience friends, I am a man!

Hu: I know you are a man. I think I want to ask your advice.

Song: (whispering, pretending to be a lady, standing up and saying to him) According to the current social judgment, I am still a man.

H: date of birth?

Song:1May 28, 985.

Ho: (surprised again) Wow, this birthday is great enough. Everyone says that boys' birthdays account for 258, so you have it all this time?

Song: (smirking smugly) Look, that's not necessary. People all over the country say this is a happy birthday. As you can see. It's great, too

Hu: (dumbfounding) What about your political views?

Song: Appearance? (Touching his face) Some people say I have an oval face, others say I have a generous face. These are my two faces. Minister, which one do you think?

Mr. Hu: No, I'm not asking what your face is. I asked about political views.

Song: What politics? Otherwise, I am a poor peasant and a middle peasant.

Mr. Hu: No, it's political. Do you know anything about politics? Is it party member or a league member?

Song: Ah, there is something wrong with that thing you asked. You didn't ask that. If you had said earlier, wouldn't I have understood? (What to say solemnly) My political view is "members of the Communist Party of China (CPC)".

Mr. Hu: What, a member of the China League? Never heard of it. How can your member win the lottery? Are there any league members in the middle school?

Song: Commissioner the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China doesn't understand. What about illiteracy? Members of the Communist Youth League of China are members under the leadership of the Communist Party of China.

Mr. Hu: It's called the Youth League. You must be this. So where are you from?

Song: (Officially) I'm a student from the East Tang Dynasty who came to harbin university of science and technology to study. To be clear, it is Jilin Province in the northeast.

Mr. Hu: OK, the basic information has been filled in. Our judge teacher is going to ask, what is your idea of running for public office in the art department?

Song: Briefly? I liked literature and art since I was a child, and my family encouraged me.

My teacher Gong Li always says that I am naughty.

High school literature and art achievements, honors all over the earth.

All the contestants were killed in the opera last night.

I don't want to work miracles. Can the judges give me some advice?

H: Well, that's a good idea. Since you say you have a literary foundation, what can you do? I'll show you when I bring it.

Song: No, I'm a little nervous now.

Mr. Hu: What are you nervous about? Just relax。 Let's sing a few words for everyone here.

Song: Here it is.

In front of so many people? Please, I'm so embarrassed.

Mr. Hu: Just sing when you are told. Don't be shy. (To the audience) Audience friends, let's give a round of applause.

Song: (very nervously) Then I sing, Minister. (Pose, cough gently, pause for a while, the scene is quiet, and suddenly the audience laughs)

Hu: (inexplicably) What are you laughing at?

Song: (Cover your mouth and control your laughter.

Pointing to the audience, the girl in red in the third row looked at me and smiled.

Mr. Hu: Do you care whether others laugh or not? Sing yours.

Song: (re-posing, paused and shook his head) I sang. (How to nod)

(Singing): I sincerely wish you happiness every day and all the best.

Today, with everyone, oh, oh, oh, oh,

Don't tell me how happy I am.

The male students sitting here are all real men.

Female students are more beautiful than Lin Daiyu.

We all have beautiful ideals,

I hope everyone will have a better tomorrow.

I sincerely wish you all the best,

Prosperous fortune, earn more RMB.

Ho: Oh, needless to say, his timbre, intonation and singing skills are really good. (Ask Song) How do you feel after singing this song?

Song: I don't think so, but I think my face is getting bigger and bigger.

Mr. Hu: Needless to say, what Fan Wei asked him to learn was somewhat interesting.

Song: (learning again) Everyone in the city knows that Conlino treats colds, but I don't tell him about ordinary people.

Mr. Hu: Does this mean that if you give him some sunshine, he will be smart, and if you give him a chicken coop, he will lay eggs? If you continue to praise him, he will have to say thank you.

Song: (Find a suitable time to say) Thank you! (pause) This is fate. (Turn around, put on flowers, tidy up clothes)

Hu: OK, OK, OK. He sings this song really well, and his words are very interesting. It's just too difficult to imitate the image of Fan Wei. I wonder what role he plays.

Song: (Turning to the audience and speaking very formally) Comrades and friends: Today, we are here for a grand gathering to celebrate the 55th anniversary of the founding of People's Republic of China (PRC). This is a grand festival for people of all ethnic groups in China and a solemn ceremony to test our achievements and strength. On behalf of the CPC Central Committee, the National People's Congress, the People's Political Consultative Conference in the State Council and China, and the Central Military Commission, I pointed out to the people of all ethnic groups in China and to the China People's Liberation Army.

Mr. Hu: Which leader are you learning from? Don't scare everyone! Your literary expertise is really outstanding. Now, we have a few questions to ask each student who takes part in the interview. The question you want to answer today is: In recent years, a popular song is called "Entering a New Era". Have you ever heard of it? Some lyrics are sung like this: We are telling the story of spring and getting rich through reform and opening up. Leaders who link the past with the future will lead us into a new era and hold high the banner of creating the future. What does this mean?

Song: (thinking) I think: We China people have passed the era when Deng Xiaoping led us. In such an era, China fully realized the reform and opening-up, started the modernization of Socialism with Chinese characteristics, and became rich from then on.

Hu: OK, OK, OK. It seems that you really understand the meaning of the lyrics You should also know that people engaged in literature and art should not only understand the surface of literature and art, but also understand its connotation.

Song: Yes, this year marks the 0/00th anniversary of the birthday of comrades. People all over the country are recalling the great achievements of his old man. This has strengthened my determination to love the * * * Party and join the China * * * Party.

Mr. Hu: Well, it's rare for you to have such an idea. You know, joining the Party for contemporary college students is good for their future. When looking for a job after graduation, many employers will give priority to student cadres in party member. Today, you came to see the student union of Secretary 1 14, which shows your awareness in this respect. This is very valuable. I hope you can keep it up.

Song: (modestly) Thank you, I know that.

Ho: You should also know that when you get to college, you can't study harder and exercise your quality in college as before.

Song: I heard from my classmates that it would be good to be admitted to the university. You can breathe a sigh of relief.

Mr. Hu: No, this idea is wrong. Don't think like that. After going to college, students will have more things to do in life and do everything by themselves. Students should stand on their own feet as soon as possible, so that you will learn more in college and handle more things by yourself. I hope you don't fall behind in your freshman year, okay?

Song: OK. I see. My teacher told me before I came to college:

Study hard and make progress every day.

Read more books, less things,

The more knowledge you learn, the longer and stronger your body will be.

Adjust your life, don't be too angry,

Respect teachers, parents and classmates, and be humble to each other.

Work hard and try to be a good person in harbin university of science and technology!

Mr. Hu: In fact, this is the best hope of our teachers and students, and all your freshmen think so.

Song: Thank you for reminding me. It seems very necessary for us freshmen to receive education.

Hu: You freshmen can be said to be people of such a new era. You see, harbin university of science and technology has developed well in recent years. Do you know that in the past 2006, our University of Science and Technology experienced two life and death events in the history of the development of the University of Science and Technology-fighting SARS and welcoming the undergraduate teaching level evaluation of the Ministry of Education. Our work against SARS has been fully affirmed by the leaders of the State Council and other provinces and cities. Our evaluation work has also achieved excellent results. Now, our University of Science and Technology has implemented three major plans: teaching reform project and campus construction, and it has developed rapidly.

Song: I've also heard of Polytechnic University, but it's not very specific.

He: Especially those students who want to be student cadres, they should be strict with themselves from the beginning and try to show and exercise themselves in all aspects.

Song: That's why I'm running for Minister of Literature and Art. ..

Mr. Hu: You should also know that you are running for the Ministry of Literature and Art today. In the future, you should not only do literary and artistic work, but also cooperate with other departments to do all the student work, whether it is the central work of student cadres or the student work.

Song: Thank you, Minister. I will keep that in mind.

Ho: (Audience rushing off the stage) I hope all freshmen will show themselves and their personality charm on the platform of running for student cadres. (To Song) Today's interview with you is over. As for the result, I can't tell you yet. Go back and listen to the notice.

Song: That's it?

Ho: No, according to the interview practice, we should sum up our inner feelings in a way at the end of each student's interview. How to do it now?

Song: (thinking) I want to end this interview with my own singing voice.

Mr. Hu: Very good. What song is it?

Song: (smiling, posing, pointing to the audience, saying:) Is the girl in red still smiling? Stop laughing. Oh, after the interview, shall we go to the movies? (What to say) You don't have to ask the title of the song, you'll know when I sing it-(Shouting to the side) Cui Hua, take the microphone-

Hu: Oh, you brought Cui Hua?

Song (singing): I've always wanted to tell you how much I like science and engineering.

I've always wanted to tell you how much I love chemical industry.

Full of clever science and engineering people, they entered a new era with high spirits.

Ah, we passed the college entrance examination for science and engineering this year.

We got an excellent evaluation, and technology became better from then on.

We reformed education and evaluated the construction plan. Since then, science and technology have become more powerful.

Self-improvement scientists and engineers, we have entered that new era together.

Harbin Institute of Technology, my favorite!

Thank you (legs bent back naughty curtain call) (Song He comes off)