Walking, my hometown became a foreign land, and the way home became a stranger.

Father hopes that when we grow up, we will leave the East to dry our feet and never come back.

In his view, life in Dongganjiao is not so much a bitter sea as a hopeless life in the countryside.

Playing with mud, you die, and your feet are covered with mud.

They are tired of being farmers.

In the village, people who have pinned their hopes on the land all their lives are basically people who can't run out, people who have no skills, and useless people.

My father wants Yue Xiang and I to leave the countryside, just for our life, not as hard, humble and poor as he did all his life.

I didn't go to school much, so I went to Guangzhou to work.

Yue Xiang studied a lot and went to work in Changsha.

The small courtyard in Dongganjiao is almost halfway between Guangzhou and Changsha.

When my father was alive, Dongganjiao's home was a complete home. On holidays, summer vacation and winter vacation, the whole family goes back. Father has been busy, but he looks happy.

We never thought that we would never go back one day.

We are making various construction plans for the warmth of Dongganjiao. This is our root. You can't count the classics and forget the Sect. We experienced hardships and embarrassment there, but we are the branches and leaves of this small tree in Dongganjiao. On the day when the leaves fell, we longed to be in the corner of Donggan, to be with the four seasons of Donggan, to be warm and cold with the eighteenth generation of our ancestors, and to be integrated with that land in order to repay the cultivation of this land. I've always liked Donggan pepper. Although the material is poor, there are human feelings, fireworks, villagers in trouble and the pursuit of being uneasy about the status quo.

People who leave Dongganjiao take the fallen leaves as a matter of course.

No matter where you live, you will be buried in the land of East Dry Feet, and if you die, you will be a ghost of East Dry Feet.

The world may think this idea is stupid.

I don't think so. It is not too much to have a pursuit in life and an arrangement in death.

At the beginning of 2020, my father drove the crane to the west, and Yuexiang took her mother to Changsha, the former residence of Dongganjiao, and hung up the lock and closed the door. This is unexpected. After his father left, Bao Liang went home and closed the door. Even if you don't say anything, your heart is full of disappointment and gloom.

Leaving the land and neighbors, my mother is not used to living in Changsha. Yue Xiang and his wife go out to work every day, and their children have to go to school. After a busy morning, there are only old people left in my mother's house. My mother has never left her hometown, either sitting or standing. She feels uncomfortable when she walks. Staying indoors, watching nothing, clamoring to go back to the east, preferring to be alone and being responsible for life and death. But how dare Yue Xiang and I let him hang his feet alone in the East? My mother has had a heart stent, high blood pressure, taking medicine all the year round, stomach disease and rheumatism. Either way, you can take away an old man's broken and fragile life. Although there are neighbors who can ask if you will die, life is hard, and getting sick and catching a cold can't help. My mother is working alone in the east, and she is dying. She lives alone, and the pain will happen at any time.

I also thought about leaving this stall in Guangzhou and returning to Dongganjiao, guarding the old house and accompanying my mother to support the elderly. However, what you want is hard to land. Dongjie is a junior, so it's time to support him. As long as I give up, their study and life will be affected. There never seems to be any solution in the world. Son's filial piety is also selfish. I chose to work, and my life is based on the income from work. There is almost no way out without working. Changing your lifestyle is like a joke when you know your destiny.

How to appease my mother has almost become my daily homework.

Early in the morning, my uncle called.

I deliberately looked at the time on my mobile phone. There are still four days before his1October 24th 79th birthday.

Over 50, I am most afraid of receiving calls from relatives.

My aunt has been ill for several years, unless. ...

The uncle on the other end of the phone is still so loud: Hongzai, I figured it out. I will die in Hengyang and burn there. They can scatter the ashes anywhere they like.

Uncle is very willing to go back to Dongganjiao for retirement. Besides, Hengyang is only two hours' drive from Dongganjiao.

Aunt was fine, so I put my heart down and asked him why he suddenly asked this question.

It's hard for everyone to think of the coming New Year's Eve, Tomb-Sweeping Day, and July and a half. Or a dead end, who knows?

Don't rush to arrange it yet.

I am 79 years old, and I don't know when Yan will ended his life. So I need to talk to you first.

That's it?

Here it is.

My uncle left Dongganjiao at the age of fifteen and went to Hengyang to join the factory, where he joined the army as a worker. He has traveled around the northeast, northwest and north China and served as a soldier for half his life. I changed my job and returned to my original unit. I am close to home. I thought it was convenient to go back to my hometown. It's troublesome to transfer to a bus by train. First I went home once every three or two years, and then I went home once every three or five years. Retired, I have time, and my home in Dongganjiao is gone-grandma has left. Three brothers, he is the boss, and his eldest brother is like his father. When he came back, he cried in front of his parents' graves and criticized his brother for not doing a good job. Both brothers work at home and have a hard time. He feels guilty. He was unfilial to his parents and went back to Donggan to accompany them when he was old.

The promise of returning to Dongganjiao has been said for many years. Why did it suddenly cancel?

My uncle left home when he was fifteen.

Went south to Guangdong at the age of twenty.

Home is in Donggan, always.

The appearance of Dongganjiao is changing, but the essence of Dongganjiao has not changed, and it is still rural. There are more trees, the road is easy, the house is beautiful, and more people run out. Because Dongganjiao is small, it has not developed; Because there are few people in Donggan, everyone is holding back their ambition of not humiliating Donggan. Everyone has a clear goal. After leaving Dongganjiao, everyone has developed. In Hengyang, Yongzhou, Changsha, Guangzhou, Shenzhen, Zhongshan, Dongguan and Huizhou, they are scattered everywhere, but they all bought houses and settled down locally. This is the actual needs of work and life. This is just a transition. When we get old that day, we will go back. For that day, we turned around and built a house in Donggan Cape, repaired water conservancy, new bridge, network cable and street lamp. There is something in the city, and we all try our best to make it available in the East. We stripped Donggan's feet and planted a city in it. It never occurred to us that this was a mistake. Urbanization in rural areas has destroyed rural civilization more than wealth and luxury. The independence, selfishness, commerce and indifference of the city, and the emotional adhesion and mutual assistance of the countryside are destroyed. This is a kind of punishment, even when it comes to hometown, it complains about her reality and is mercenary. But I don't know, it is we who leave and think we are smart and do good deeds, which have become the chief culprit in undermining the original unity and stability.

Can I go back?

Young people leave home, old people return, and the local accent has not changed. When children meet strangers, they will smile and ask where the guests are from.

He is very happy to go home, even though he is a stranger.

At least, there are relatives at home.

What about going home?

Old friends will die, young people don't know.

What's more, our thoughts still stayed thirty years ago, when we left forty years ago. At home, I can only be a lonely person. The meaning of going home has become very pale.

The city can't hold the soul, and the country can't hold the body. This fashionable remark not only tells us that there will be nowhere to go, but also tells us the contradiction of our generation's existence. One day, the countryside can't calm our souls. How will we face it?

The road of society is very long, and ours is getting shorter and shorter.

It's hard to find that our life is just a projection of the times. It used to be like going home, walking less and less, and finally one day I died on the road. This may be our mission, or fate. In any case, we have bid farewell to the last innocence and our hometown has become a foreign land.

The dance floor was still there, but the heroes had already gone with the passage of time.

The way home will become strange.

2020/ 12/5