Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - I urgently need two pairs of couplets, hoping to send them during the Spring Festival.

I urgently need two pairs of couplets, hoping to send them during the Spring Festival.

The first part: east soil field, west soil field, ancient wood spirit root;

The bottom line is: the wind is moving, the wind is moving, the water in the pool is clear, and Zhan Ran is clear.

Part one: I'm at home, I'm at home, nobody, nobody, so I asked if I was at home at this time? Knowing is natural and comfortable;

Bottom line: Tathagata, Tathagata, has a future and an end. How did you get this body? I have come here. I think I'm here.

The first part: Mo Dao is an empty door. If you want to come in, you have to step on the ground. ?

Bottom line: Watch out for the fork in the road. If you go wrong, you will fall into a deep pit. (this is also a literal statement, full of vigilance, full of morning bells and drums. )

Part one: I am wrong, so I can't go back to the mountains to do grass;

Bottom line: I have a spare life, but I know I have experienced vicissitudes.

Shanglian: Being able to cross all sentient beings and attending classes alone;

Part two: I would like to smell it. I taught the sea not to make waves.

The first part: Why are you sad, but if you can keep peace and security, you will get along well and smile at everyone often;

Bottom line: My stomach is very magnetic and I never worry about food and clothing. I just talk about everything and relax naturally.

Chengdu Baoguang Temple is bright and clean:

The first part: outsiders don't have definite laws, and then they know the illegal laws;

Bottom line: Why not let nature take its course when things are unfinished in the world? (Zen machine is complete, the purpose of Buddha is a normal heart, what are the gains and losses? Let it go. )

Chengdu Wuhou Temple Ming Lian: (Qing: Zhao Fan)

Part I: If you can attack your heart, you will be self-defeating. Since ancient times, you know that soldiers are not good at fighting;

Bottom line: It is wrong to combine leniency with severity without judging the time. You should think hard about governing Shu in the future. Know yourself and know yourself, fight a hundred battles, fight a hundred battles! )

The ship carries stones and stones, and the ship carries light.

Measure the length of the ground with a ruler.

Light weight and light weight.

Foot short circuit is long and short.

The boat leaked and the pot was full.

When the lamp blows to extinguish the fire, it burns.

Jiu zui JIU ke restaurant

Let people love painting and poetry.

Eggs are really light without salt.

The pig intestines are not cut properly.

Wu Bei Lu Du Su

Xixi chicken qiti

Jade head began to cry.

Monks swim across the river and worry about monks.

Independent bridges do not flow through rivers.

Sleeping in a lonely hotel, the dream soul once came to my hometown.

Who smashed the building with one blow?

I also boldly wrote poems on it.

Castle peak is not always a snow-white head.

There is no wind and wrinkles in the green water.

You have a long white spirit and a thick shade to send away the autumn remnant.

Soft willow is fragrant, while He Chun is fragrant.

It is unlucky to welcome spring tomorrow.

Luck is less than wealth all year round.

A man, a woman, a woman, an aunt and a sister-in-law are in one.

The new three years and the old three years make up for the old three years.

Mr. Scholar asked Mr. Scholar.

Go, go, chase the horse, go, go, go.

Silkworms make cocoons and weave silk to warm the world.

The wolf makes a fine pen and writes splendid articles all over the world.

Red face, black face, white face and dragon face protect Mr. Liu

Cao Cao's ambition, lingering heart, Dong Zhuo's heart is better than Han Dynasty.

The tall, short man with a short stick on his shoulder came to Odeli Mountain with a black and yellow roe deer.

Sister-in-law Xi found new rags to make wet and dry shoes and went to the house next door to pay for her relatives.

East Temple, West Chamber Landlord and West Chamber Door dare to sit side by side.

Ning, Ji, Jing, South, North, Shuangjing, and water and soil can compete for hegemony.

People pass through Buddhist temples.

The temple Buddha is bigger than the people.

Langzhong Wang ruoli

Li Ruo Wang Zhong Lang

Shangke Tian Ran Bureau

Ju Ran Tian Shangke

Good luck comes from good deeds.

Fertile land makes excellent people.

Monks visit Yunyin Temple.

Monks wandering in the hidden clouds in the temple

The willow tree between people is like this.

Like the people on the willow tree.

Rain, spring, trees and the sky.

In spring, the sky is even green and the trees are raining.

The wind sends flowers, and the ground smells red.

The ground is full of wind from red fragrant flowers.

Bright red flowers fall with the rain

Rain falls with flowers.

Beautiful mountains and clear waters.

Xiu Xiu is in the mountains and rivers.

It's strange when it rains on a sunny day.

When Qiqi is good, it rains and sunny.

Chunhui county fu village

Village wealth returns to spring first.

Chu Chu Hua Fei Fei Chu Chu

Gurgling water gurgling.

Where the flowers are in full bloom.

Thick green trees, thick green trees.

Chu Chu Hua Fei Fei Chu Chu

Laughing and laughing.

The fog locks the mountain, and the mountain locks the fog

The sky is connected with water, and the tail water is connected with the sky.

The snow ridge is blowing. The snow ridge is blowing.

Longtan Huoshui HuoTan Long

Feng Luo wutong wuluo peak.

Julianbi and Lian Bi Pig.

Oil lamp with little oil.

Use firewood as firewood.

Jing Quan Shangshanshan Jing Quan

Clear water in the pond and clear water in the pond

Xiangshan Bi Yun Si Yun Bi Shan Xiang

The leaves of Larix gmelinii in Huangshan Mountain are yellow.

Xiushan Qing Yu Qing shan xiu

Xiangbai Gu Feng Gubai Lane

Draw a picture of a lotus monk.

Shu Lin Han tie Lin Han Shu

The wind blew flowers everywhere.

Rain in the sky and trees in spring are blue.

Reading backwards is another connection: the sky is even green, the trees are in spring rain, and the ground is full of red fragrant flowers for air.

Twilight is far from the cold window fog.

The fog window is cold to the distant sky and dusk.

There is no mountain like Wushan.

What water can be as clear as river water?

Part one: "Wu" and "Wu" are homonyms.

In a word: "He" and "He" are homophonic.

Stealing chickens and eating rice, beating children

The summer mouse coughed with cold beams.

The first part: chicken homophonic, stealing rice homophonic and Tong Tong homophonic.

Bottom line: Summer Mouse is homophonic, Bright is homophonic, and Keke is homophonic.

Move a chair against the tung tree and watch the moon together.

Wait for the lights to go to the pavilion and attack each other.

The first part: The homonym of "moving chairs" and "Tong Tong".

Bottom line: "Equal light climbing" is homophonic, and "Gege" is homophonic.

Sister-in-law sweeps firewood and asks uncle to bundle it.

Aunt moved broken barrels to make iron rings.

The first part: "sister-in-law" homophonic, "uncle" homophonic.

Bottom line: "clothing" is homophonic, and "ancient hoop" is homophonic.

Han Shu Han Lin Shu

Lotus and soup are mixed on noodles.

The first part (from Tang Bohu): "Hehe" is homophonic, and "Shangshang" is homophonic.

The second couplet (Li): "Linlin" is homophonic and "Hanhan" is homophonic.

* This couplet is also a palindrome. Jiao Cave lives in Jiao Shan.

The Yangtze River crosses the Yangtze River

In the Ming Dynasty, Yang Jisheng wrote a couplet about Zhenjiang and Jiao Shan-"Yangyang" is homophonic and "Jiao Jiao" is homophonic. Yangzi is Yang Jisheng, and "Jiao Shan" is the font size.

No thieves came, no monks came.

No admittance for idle people, no admittance for saints.

Liu Ling drinks nothing but zero.

Jia Dao was drunk, but he wasn't faking it.

The wind blows bees to the ground, and the wind breathes bees to fly.

Li Da Shen Lili Li Fu.

The eagle stands on the treetops and the moon shines obliquely. The eagle doesn't lean.

The cat crouched in the corner, and the wind blew its fur, but the cat did not move.

Upper/lower couplet: "cat hair" near sound, "eagle shadow" near sound.

It is impossible to stop the ship on land and water and sail on it.

Sweetheart GeGeGeFei GeFeiFei.

Who planted persimmons before the assistant minister toured the city?

Cross the river and pull the lotus where to insert it.

There is no rain in Tongzhou, and there is no water in Tongzhou.

Juye is all fields, and Jimo is all wheat in autumn.

Magu eats mushrooms, mushrooms, mosses and Magu fairies.

Tung tree hits Tung tree, Tung tree falls, Tung tree is happy.

The boy hit the tung tree, and the tung tree fell down. The boy was happy.

The monk stood by the river, the river collapsed and the monk rushed.

Note: This is an ancient couple. In some dialects, "wrestling" and "music" are homophonic, while "bumping" and "running" are homophonic. A few years ago, a newspaper editor didn't know that there was a pair in ancient times and asked for the next one in the newspaper, so some readers got the following pair:

The boy hit the tung tree, and the tung tree fell down. The boy was happy.

A girl is eating a duck's head, but the duck's head is salty, which is too much for the girl.

The girl planted grain and seedlings at her feet.

The headquarters burned paper and the ashes flew to the head of the headquarters.

The chicken stood beside the chicken, pressed it, turned it over and slapped it.

The donkey is a pear tree. When it falls, it hits the pear.

Nautilus island boat water pushes the boat to flow, but it doesn't flow.

Under Luoyang Bridge, the wind blows buckwheat, but the bridge does not move.

The wine sold by nuns is beautiful and cheap, and nuns should sell it.

Monks go upstairs. The stairs are high and short. Monks go upstairs.

Peach leaves, grape leaves, herbaceous woody plants

In spring and autumn, plum blossoms, sweet-scented osmanthus and roses are very fragrant.

The first word is homophone with the fifth word, and the second word is homophone with the sixth word. In addition, cattail tree is a herb and peach tree is a woody plant; Plum blossoms bloom in spring and osmanthus flowers bloom in autumn.

This is the Spring Festival couplets written by Jie Jin in Ming Dynasty. The homonym is clever, and there is no trace of carving. Everyone wrote it.

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