Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - I don't know what it means to receive "Happy Birthday" from the enemy. Guess what?
I don't know what it means to receive "Happy Birthday" from the enemy. Guess what?
Many years later, I had a friend named Du. Anyone can be evil. As long as you try to be jealous, I don't care what others think of me. I just don't want others to be happier than me.
Anyone can be vicious, as long as you have tried what is jealousy.
I don't care what others think of me. I just don't want others to be happier than me.
The biggest problem of people, even if the memory is too good. If everything can be forgotten, every day will be a new beginning.
It seems that you are in your early forties. For more than forty years, there are always some things you don't want to say, or some people you don't want to see again. Some people have been sorry for you. Maybe you thought about killing them, but you didn't dare. Ha, maybe you don't think it's worth it. Actually, killing people is easy. I have a friend who is good at martial arts, but life has been a little difficult recently. As long as you give him a little money casually, he will definitely help you kill that man. Think about it. In fact, it is not easy to kill one, but many people will take the risk for their own lives.
Not long ago, I met a man and gave me an altar of wine. She said it was called "living in a drunken dream". After drinking, you can forget anything you have done before. I wonder why there is such wine. She said that people's biggest problem is their bad memory. If everything can be forgotten, every day in the future is a new beginning. How happy do you feel?
Do you know the difference between drinking and drinking? Wine, the warmer you drink, the colder the water.
If a person has a bad memory, don't go to too many troublesome places, because you may forget your enemies.
Make him sad! Since I am so unhappy, why not find someone to accompany me. I just want him to taste the taste of not being alone.
The most painful way to let a person die is to kill the person he loves the most first.
Some people will find that people who have left are their favorite only after they leave.
When a person is frustrated, he will find an excuse to hide himself more or less. In fact, Murong Yan and Murong Yan are just two identities of the same person. Behind these two identities, there is an injured person.
You know, I once looked for that woman, because someone said that her was your favorite woman, and I wanted to kill her, but I didn't do it later, because I didn't want to prove that she was. I once asked myself if the woman you love most is me, and now I don't want to know. If one day I don't stop asking questions, you must lie to me. Even if you can't bear to part with it, don't tell me that the person you love most is not me.
If you want to avenge your brother, you must raise some money. No one will offend Qiu's swordsman for a donkey. Revenge comes at a price. If you are ugly, I advise you to die. I just want to tell you that if I want to, you will be more valuable than that donkey.
Everyone will stick to their beliefs. Others think it is a waste of time, but she thinks it is very important.
There is a blooming season, but no one knows when the horse thief will arrive.
I've heard people say that if the knife is sharp, blood will gush out of the wound like the wind, which is very nice. I didn't expect to hear my blood for the first time.
There is a career that suits you very well. It can not only help you earn some money, but also help you fight bravely. Are you interested? Think about it, but hurry, you know, you will be hungry soon.
Usually, people who don't look at their money will spend it quickly, but Hong Qi counts it carefully. I know such people won't stay with me for long.
Don't think it's easy to cheat a woman. The simpler the woman, the more direct she is.
What is behind this desert?
This is another desert.
Everyone will go through this stage. When they see a mountain, they want to know what is behind it. I really want to tell him that maybe when you cross the back hill, you will find nothing special. In retrospect, you will find it better here.
Although I like her very much, I don't want her to know, because I understand that what I can't get is always the best. Every time she stares at the child, I know that she is actually thinking of someone else. I envy Ouyang Feng. I really want to know what it feels like to be liked. As a result, I hurt many people.
I used to think so, but watching him grow up day by day, I knew he would leave me sooner or later. Now I don't think anything matters. I used to think that sentence was very important, because I thought some words meant a lifetime. Now that I think about it, it makes no difference whether I say it or not. Some things will change. I always thought I won, until one day I looked in the mirror and found that I lost. At my best, my favorite person is not with me. If only I could start over!
I know that the best way to avoid rejection is to reject others first.
I just want him to say a word, and he won't say anything. He was so confident that he thought I would marry him. Who knew I married his brother? On our wedding day, he asked me to go, but I didn't agree.
If you lose it, why fight for it? In that case, I won't let him have it.
I used to think that sentence was very important, because I thought some words meant a lifetime. Now that I think about it, it makes no difference whether I say it or not. Some things will change.
I always thought I won, until one day I looked in the mirror and found that I lost. At my best, my favorite person is not with me. If only I could start over!
I am a lone star. My parents died early when I was a child, so I had to live with my brother. I have known how to protect myself since I was a child. I know that the best way to avoid rejection is to reject others first.
In fact, "living a drunken life" is just a joke she played with me. The more you want to know whether you have forgotten, the clearer you remember. I once heard someone say that when you can't have what you have anymore, the only thing you can do is not to forget it.
Chongqing express
Everyone has a lovelorn time, and I will run every time I fall in love, because running can evaporate the water in your body and make me less prone to tears. How can I cry? In May's mind, I am a cool person.
When we were closest, the distance between me and her was only 0.0 1 cm. 57 hours later, I fell in love with this woman.
When I was closest to her, the distance between us was only 0.0 1 cm. I know nothing about her. Six hours later, she fell in love with another man
The day we broke up was April Fool's Day, so I always thought she was joking. I was willing to let her joke for a month.
Since the day we broke up, I have a can of canned pineapple that expired in May 1 every day, because pineapple is May's favorite, and May 1 is my birthday. I told myself that when I filled 30 cans, if she didn't come back, the relationship would expire.
Finally, in a convenience store, I found the 30th can of pineapple. 1 On the morning of May, I began to understand one thing. In Mei's mind, I am no different from this canned pineapple.
Actually, knowing someone doesn't mean anything. People change. Today he likes pineapple, and tomorrow he can like something else.
I didn't expect that the rest she said was the real rest. Throughout the evening, I watched two sets of Cantonese feature films and ate chef's salad four times. When it was almost dawn, I knew I should go. I helped her take off her shoes when I left. I remember my mother said that when a woman sleeps in high heels, her feet will swell the next day. She must have walked a long way last night. For a beautiful woman like her, high heels should be very clean.
Every day, you have a chance to pass by many people. You may know nothing about them, but maybe one day he will become your friend or confidant.
I don't know when everything has a date. Saury will expire, canned meat will expire, and even plastic wrap will expire. I began to wonder, is there anything in this world that will not expire?
The date on the can tells me that I don't have much time left. If I can't find an Indian, I'll be in trouble.
I don't know when it started. I became a very careful person. Wear sunglasses every time you wear a raincoat. You never know when it will rain and when the sun will shine.
I don't know if I forgot to turn off the tap at work, or if I am getting more and more emotional. I always thought it was strong, but who knew it would cry so hard. When a person is in tears, you only need to give her a pack of paper towels, but if a seat is in tears, you have to do a lot more.
I am very happy when I watch it cry, because its appearance seems to have changed, but its essence has not changed. It is still an emotional towel.
I had a dream that afternoon. I went to his house. When I walked out, I thought I would wake up. Who knows, some dreams never wake up.
In fact, he didn't come, he just went to the wrong place. That night, we were all in California, but there was a time difference of 15 hours between us. It's 1 1 o'clock in his morning. I don't know if he remembers dating me at 8 o'clock tonight.
On every plane, there must be a stewardess you want to meet. This time last year, I successfully picked one up at an altitude of 25,000 feet. I thought I would stay with her for a long time, just like a plane full of oil, which can fly far away. Who knows that the plane changed stations halfway? ...
In May 1994, a woman said "Happy Birthday" to me. Because of this sentence, I will always remember this woman. If memory is a can, I hope this can will not expire; If I have to add one day, I hope it is "10 thousand years"
Fallen angels.
I have worked with her for 155 weeks, and today is the first time to sit together. Because people's feelings are hard to control. So we always keep our distance, because the best partner should not have feelings.
As a partner, you should not only get to know her, but also give her a chance to get to know you.
When you are young, you think everything has an answer, but when you are old, you may feel that there is no such thing as an answer in life. I have the opportunity to pass by many people every day. Some people may become your friends or confidants, so I never give up any chance to associate with others. Sometimes I get my head broken, whatever! Just be happy.
Many times, a person's personality will affect his career. The biggest advantage of doing this business is that you don't have to make a decision. Who deserves to die? The time and place have been decided by others. I am a lazy person, and I like being assigned to me. So I need a partner.
Look at the rubbish a person throws, and you can easily know what he has done recently. Every time he comes to this bar, he seems to like the silence here. Sometimes, I will sit in the seat where he once sat, because of this, I seem to have feelings with him. Some people are not suitable for getting too close, but they know too much and are not interested. I am a realistic person, and I know how to make myself happier.
After working with a person for a long time, your habits will be more or less influenced by him. Although I am familiar with this perfume, I am not used to smelling it from other women.
Many people think that we don't have friends in this business, but in fact, the killer always has elementary school classmates.
People say that women are made of water, but in fact some men are the same. Most people's first love is in their teens. I may be a late bloomer or a little demanding. 1On May 30th, 995, I got my first love. It's like a shop. I don't know how long I can stay. Of course, the longer the better.
I heard that everything will expire. I don't know when her relationship with Johnny will expire, but I think it will soon.
I always thought that her relationship with Johnny would expire soon, but who knows, I am the fastest one.
That night, until midnight, I found my father peeking at the video. He is very happy, watching and laughing. Although I was careless about many things, I clearly remember that day was my father's sixtieth birthday. I don't know what he is laughing at, but I know he is happy.
Every day, you will pass by many people, and they may become your friends or confidants. So I never gave up the opportunity to pass anyone by. Sometimes I get my head broken, whatever! Just be happy.
I don't know if I am too optimistic. Not long after, I asked her to watch the ball game again, but she didn't arrive. I always thought that her relationship with Johnny would expire soon, but who knows, I am the fastest one. I waited from the beginning to the end. When the stadium closed, I knew she wouldn't come. I'm in love. Really?
Ask him to take me home when I leave. I haven't ridden a motorcycle for a long time, and I haven't tried to be so close to a person for a long time, although I know this road is not very far. I know I'm getting off soon. However, this minute, I feel so warm.
Happy together
He Baorong talks about "it's better to start over", which is very destructive to me.
I have been with him for a long time and separated from him, but every time I hear him say that, I always walk with him again.
There are some things I haven't told He Baorong. I don't want him to recover too quickly. The day he was injured was the happiest day for him and me.
Sometimes, ears are more important than eyes. Many things are better to hear with ears than with eyes. A person pretends to be happy, but his voice can't be faked. Just listen carefully.
Much closer to him, I can't hear anything but my heartbeat. I wonder if he can hear me.
I always thought I was different from He Baorong. When I am lonely, all people are the same.
/kloc-Argentina is too hot in October/February. On that holiday, I wanted to write a Christmas card to my father, but it got longer and longer. In Hong Kong, I am afraid to talk to him. There are some things I long for him to know. I wonder what he will think after reading the letter. I told him that I hoped he would give me a chance to start from scratch.
I finally came to the waterfall. I suddenly thought of He Baorong. I feel very sad. I always think there should be a couple standing here.
I stayed in Taipei for one night before returning to Hong Kong. I went to Liaoning Street. The night is very lively. I didn't see Xiao Zhang, only his family. I finally understand why he can walk around happily. He knew he had a place to go back.
1997 1 month, I finally came to the end of the world. This is the last lighthouse in southern South America, and then the South Pole. Suddenly I want to go home. Although I was far away from them, I felt very close at that moment.
We are young 2
……
I wonder how they started.
Why do you suddenly want to go to Singapore?
Change the environment so as not to hear so much gossip.
All we know is that it's nothing.
I think so too, so I'm not afraid of what others say. I believe I won't be like them, but I will.
I know you won't leave your husband. I want to leave for a while.
I didn't expect you to really like me.
I never thought about it either. Before, I just wanted to know how they started. Now I know that many things happened before I knew it. I thought it was nothing, but I began to worry about when your husband would come back. Better not come back. I know it's wrong. Can you do me a favor?
What?
I need to be mentally prepared.
If there are extra tickets, would you like to go with me?
If there are any extra tickets, will you take me with you?
Cherry blossoms only bloom once, but true love only happens once. If you are just lonely, please don't love me.
I never thought that marriage was so complicated. I thought that one person could do it well, but it was not enough for two people to do it alone.
Those lost years seem to be visible through a layer of dusty glass, but they can't be caught ... he has been thinking about the past. If he can break through the dusty glass, he will go back to the lost years.
《2046》
Passengers going to 2046 have only one purpose, that is, to retrieve lost memories. Because in 2046, nothing will change. No one knows whether this is true or not, because no one has ever come back. I am the only one.
How long does it take a person to leave 2046? Nobody knows. Some people can leave easily, but for others, it takes a long time, great efforts and even bruises. I can't remember how long I stayed on this train, and I began to feel deeply lonely.
Once upon a time, when a person had an ulterior secret in his heart, he would run into the mountains, find a tree, dig a hole in the tree, tell the secret to the hole, and then seal it with mud. No one would ever know the secret.
I once loved someone, and then she left. I went to 2046 because I thought she was waiting for me there, but I couldn't find her. I really want to know whether she likes me or not, but I still can't get the answer Her answer is like a secret, no one will know.
All the memories are damp.
I quickly adapted to this kind of life, although sometimes I just take part in accidental amusement, although many are just confused about love, but it doesn't matter, there are so many lifelong experiences.
If one day you can forget the past, remember to come to me.
Cloud (Tony Leung Chiu Wai's Monologue)
There is a joke that the 0 in the number Bo meets 8, and the 0 says to the 8, do you think I won't recognize you by tying my waist with a belt? After leaving Hong Kong for a few years, I really think she has changed from 0 to 8! So, I always try to untie my belt at 8: 30. ...
Sometimes I think the world becomes really interesting. I used to write novels for only one person, but now I write novels to prevent myself from starving and show them to all boring people. Two people who used to have desires tried their best to escape from each other, but now two people who have no desires try their best to get close to each other ... Perhaps, only wine can rekindle my heart. Wine is a good thing!
I once liked someone, and I want to know whether she likes me or not. I found that this robot is very similar to her, and I began to try to find the answer in her. I kept trying, but she never responded. I thought about giving up when I was most disappointed, but I soon persisted. Slowly, I began to doubt myself. She didn't respond to you, not necessarily because she was slow, but because she didn't feel anything for you. Finally, I understand that some things can't be forced, and all I can do is give up.
I went to Cambodia again. When I got there, I found that everything there had changed, and the temple that kept my secret no longer existed. I heard that the war accidentally bombed this place. ...
Japanese (Kimura's Japanese monologue)
There is a big tree and a small bar next to it. Yes, the bar is called in the mood for love, and the waiter is Xiaoli, the one with red hair, high nose and big eyes. She always lies by the window and watches the birds stop in the tree ... There used to be a big tree here, but I remember there were trees in the city at that time. Now ... the word plant seems to have disappeared. Moreover, I remember that there was something called love in the world at that time, but now there seems to be no such word. ...
Because of the need of my career, I am used to waiting. However, I have never tried to wait for someone to grieve! I have never tried to spend dollars in centimeters instead of denominations. In just two hours, the price of a glass of beer rose from one centimeter to three centimeters. I've been drinking slowly enough, but I still think I'm drinking too fast, because my friend Bird hasn't appeared yet, and I don't know how long I have to wait for him! I began to fantasize that I was a tiny ant, because at the speed of small ants drinking, a glass of beer would last for a long time. ...
I finally know that he is a postman. Moreover, I also know that the "letter" that I never cared about will soon disappear in this world. Like I said, people always find various ways to communicate. Without letters, the post office will be cancelled, and there will be no postman in this world. Therefore, the identity of this postman, like the dollar in my box, will soon expire. He told me that he was going to try his luck in a place where the policy was said to remain unchanged. ...
In fact, love is time-sensitive, and it is impossible to know her too early or too late. If I had known her in another time and space, the ending might have been different.
I learned a truth from her that as long as I don't give up, there will always be opportunities.
Female robot (Faye Wong's monologue)
That day, he asked me if I would like to go with him if he had extra tickets, and I refused. In fact, how much I want to go with him, but I don't know why, but the chip in my brain sent me a refusal instruction. ...
I tried to have another dream, but I failed. I finally understand that my dream belongs only to those who leave! I also found that dreaming turned out to be a painful thing
In just two hours, the price of a glass of beer rose from one centimeter to three centimeters. I've been drinking slowly enough, but I still think I'm drinking too fast, because my friend Bird hasn't appeared yet, and I don't know how long I have to wait for him! I began to fantasize that I was a tiny ant, because at the speed of small ants drinking, a glass of beer would last for a long time. ...
With the classic lines of tears-
Because I know myself well, I can't give you any promises.
Don't say it again. Say it twice and I'll believe it.
I'd rather be a hero for one day than a nobody all my life!
There is cooked rice in the kitchen, and I also bought some cups. I knew it would be broken soon, so I hid one secretly. When you need that cup one day, just call me and I'll tell you where to put it.
I want to tell you that I found that cup.
Classic lines of a Chinese Odyssey-
Many times, if you love someone too much, people will get drunk, but if you hate it for too long, your heart will be easily broken. The most painful thing in the world is waiting. I don't know how long she has been waiting for me. I always thought I would never see her again. Suddenly, I don't know how to say the first sentence and tell her that I really love her. It turns out that there are many troubles in the world that can be easily solved. If you look at it the other way around, some things will be different. I finally understand what silence means. In fact, when you are in love, you should have me and I have you. Who is a man and who is a woman? What does it matter? It's just that two people are happy together Today she bullies people, and tomorrow it may be my turn again.
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