Is there any way to make my brother laugh? The more the better!

1. I went to deposit money at noon While waiting in line, a beautiful woman asked me at the back: "Save money?" "Yes!" "I just want to withdraw money. Anyway, if you want to save it, you might as well give it to me without waiting in line. " I thought it made sense, so I gave her the money.

2. Get on the bus in the afternoon, take out the bus card and bump into the slot.

One day, I found that my mobile phone was missing. I searched my bag and every corner of the house, but it didn't work. I sat on the ground depressed, took out my mobile phone from my pocket and sent a short message to everyone: I lost my mobile phone.

My neighbor forgot his key, turned it over from my balcony, found the key in the house, turned it back, and opened his door. What's even more amazing is that I met on the balcony from beginning to end and didn't feel anything wrong. Well, our heads must have passed through the same door.

A few days ago at work, a young colleague asked for a bottle of Sprite and poured it around for everyone. When it was his turn, the bottle was empty. So my colleague shook the Sprite bottle and said to the waiter, "Is this still available?" The waiter ran over, took the bottle and examined it carefully. He said sincerely, "No more."

6. I like this pair of gloves. The boss wanted 35 yuan, and I said I'd take 30 yuan. The boss insisted on 35 yuan and refused to give in after several talks. I thought about it and gave it to a 50 yuan. He quickly gave me 35. . . .

7. A topic requires connecting the following four sentences with related words:

1, sister Zhang Haidi is paralyzed;

2. Sister Zhang Haidi studied tenaciously;

3. Sister Zhang Haidi learned a lot of foreign languages;

4. Sister Zhang Haidi studied acupuncture.

The correct answer should be: "Sister Zhang Haidi, although paralyzed, studied hard and learned not only many foreign languages, but also acupuncture.

As a result, one child wrote: Sister Zhang Haidi was paralyzed despite her tenacious study of acupuncture and many foreign languages.

I found a more fierce child writing: Sister Zhang Haidi not only learned a foreign language, but also learned acupuncture. She studied so doggedly that she was finally paralyzed!

When I was in high school, I got up early. My mother always makes me a schoolbag and takes it to school. Usually steamed bread. My mother cooked porridge when there was no class on Sunday. I don't know what the problem is. I picked up the porridge and threw it in my schoolbag. ...

9. Once I had breakfast at school, a classmate in front swiped the card, but the machine didn't respond. I said gloomily that the machine was broken. I said let me try. The machine really didn't respond after swiping the card! He changed another one, still the same, very angry! I just wanted to put the card in my bag and found a bank card in my hand. I laugh wildly! He pointed at me and laughed even harder, so I took my ID card!

10. I like to eat all melon seeds. The magic is one foot high and ten feet high. After taking all the medicine, I poured the melon seeds on the plate into the bucket and looked at another plate of melon seeds in a daze.

1 1. That was the first time I used a bus IC card. After I got on the bus, I showed the driver my card and went straight to my seat. No, the driver said "read the card", so I read the IC card carefully: "Hefei bus IC card ~ ~", and the driver said "read it over there", so I went to the place where the driver pointed and read it hard: "Hefei bus IC card …"

When reading, there are always several ancient poems in the textbook that we need to recite. After a long time, it seems that I can't recite a few of the 300 Tang poems now. Nowadays, students are all masters of adaptation, changing classic ancient poems into very classic ones; As for how classic it is, let's take a look!

1, you can tell whether you are a man or a woman when you are away from home. People in bad karma, what have you experienced these years? )

2, red crisp hands, Huang Teng wine, two orioles singing green willows. Outside the pavilion, beside the ancient road, a line of egrets soared into the sky. (Such an artistic conception can only be achieved by China people.)

3. Sometimes in the middle of the night, she dreams of her victory, but the dreamer doesn't dream of Jun. Have a grudge against this person? )

Excuse me, where is the restaurant? Hanshan Temple outside Gusu City. Don't talk nonsense! )

If relatives and friends in Luoyang ask each other, the canoe has passed through Chung Shan Man. Do you owe people money? Run fast enough! )

6. After hearing the news, my parents bootstrapped to Qingchi. As soon as Sister A heard that Sister Mei was coming, she hung up the Southeast Branch. I heard my sister coming, and her voice was interrupted ... and then she reluctantly answered. This girl, your character is really bad. )

We hope to fly in heaven, two birds become one, disaster comes, and fly separately. (You two are perfect for each other ...)

8. How beautiful she is, opening the pearly casement and a thousand roads without footprints. Apes on both sides of the Taiwan Strait kept crying and began to croak. (is this still a beauty? ! )

9, advise you to drink, Xiao Lang is a passer-by from now on. (So rude? )

10, once bitten by a snake, birds are singing everywhere around me. (This is very meaningful)

1 1. Think about it. At that time, Xiao Qiao got married for the first time, and no one would suffer from being exposed to an honest face! (The lover is married, and the groom is not you)

12, sitting up critically ill, laughing and asking where the guest came from (pretending to be sick? Resurrected? )

13, car, Ma Xiaoxiao, the spring breeze in February is like scissors. (Jia Fu organizes a spring outing? )

14,3000 guests drank to the full, and none of them were bosom friends. (Genius is lonely)

15, I sat up in shock when I was dying and didn't come back until late at night. (Never change)

16, I can't find a place to walk through the iron shoes, but people are in the dim light. Should you be happy or depressed? )

17, ask how much sadness you can have, especially if you have a taste in your heart. (Is this the original match? )

18, thousands of feet is not as good as Wang Lun. (Wang Lun jumps off a cliff? )

19, woke up to have sex, but now these boys and girls are in a row. (Causality)

20, the road is long, Xiu Yuan Xi, Xiu Yuan Xi, a strong man is gone forever! (neat)

2 1, this Jiujiang official. My blue sleeves are wet. Does Xuancheng Prefecture know? (with JQ)

At the age of twenty-two, there were other ladies-in-waiting in his court, and three thousand peerless beauties were ground into embroidery needles by iron pestles. (realism)

23, the sky is gray, the wild is vast, and a pear tree presses Haitang. (Spring is coming ...)

When asked what the world is like, the apes on both sides of the strait can't stop crying. (sad ape)

25, the spring night is worth a thousand dollars, never knowing whether it should be done or not. (Ganba Dad Vs, crushing and falling)

26. Such bright light at the foot of my bed brings me my shadow and makes the three of us. (Words can only be understood)

27, the son of heaven does not get on the boat, and the spring evening is covered by the warm curtain of hibiscus. (How dare you)

28. The Peach Blossom Pond is as deep as thousands of feet, which warms and smoothes her creamy skin. (girl beware of drowning)

29. Oh, let a man with spirit take risks in his favorite place. From then on, the emperor gave up his early hearing. You are a bad king! )

30. My husband and I unbuttoned our shirts. In the spring night, the warm hibiscus curtain sheltered us from the wind and rain. (rot! ! )

Working high above the ground, great!

They are all repair talents! The artist is bold!

The boss with creative advertising words!

Arrogant guy!

This little moon is really awesome!

This boss really knows how to do business!

Another shoeshine boss who emancipates his mind and keeps pace with the times!

This big brother's license plate is so great that it's all rented. I don't understand!

An ideal car owner!

Yang Lan, the mother of musical instruments in the world, has also been attracted by the merchants!

This big brother has the potential to be a car god! Awesome!

This is just as powerful, they are all talents, hehe!

Do you dare to bully the dog when you see these two pictures?