Humorous jokes about picking up girls online

Humorous little jokes about picking up girls online

Jokes are short in length, simple and ingenious in plot, often unexpected, and give people the wonderful feeling of laughter suddenly coming. Most of them reveal the perverse phenomena in life, which are ironic and entertaining. There are different levels of interest. Below are some humorous jokes about picking up girls online, please refer to them!

Humorous jokes about picking up girls online 1

1. The cat was forced to sit in the evening primrose salon owned by the fox because of life constraints. One day, the mouse came to the salon and asked to keep the cat overnight. The cat refused to obey, and the mouse said angrily: "I was chased to death at first, but now I'm so serious about sending him to my door!"

2. The doctor asked the patient how he had broken the bone. The patient said, I felt there was sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes against the telephone pole. Someone passing by thought I had been electrocuted, so he picked up a wooden stick. Gave me two sticks!

3. In the biology class, the teacher asked: How can we correctly distinguish the hands and feet of an octopus? Student answer: Let it smell the fart. The one who will cover the nose is the hand, and the others are the feet. The whole class fell down.

4. One person keeps farting loudly at work, and his colleagues can’t help but say: Can you just keep silent? Then I saw him sitting there shaking. A colleague asked him what he was doing, and he replied: I have set it to vibration now!

5. Someone was riding a bicycle and heard passers-by yelling: go, go, go? I thought to myself, haha, I can also sing: Olai, Olai? Before he finished speaking, he fell into the ditch, and the passers-by scolded him. Said: ! Tell you that you are still riding in Gougou Gou! You deserve to be thrown to death.

6. Carp and Turtle went to get their marriage certificate. The clerk asked the turtle how old it was, and the turtle said: 100. The clerk said regretfully: I'm sorry, but according to your family's rules, you are still underage and are not allowed to get married.

7. A couple came to a wishing well. The husband bent down and made a wish and then threw a coin into the well. The wife also wanted to make a wish, but when she bent over she accidentally fell into the well. The husband was stunned, and then smiled and said to himself: "It's so amazing!"

8. A couple was fishing by the river, and the wife kept quarreling. After a while, the fish was hooked, and the wife said : This fish is really pitiful. The husband said: Yes, as long as you shut up, it will be fine, right?

9. The science teacher asked: "Why is the body cold after death?" No one answered. The teacher asked again: "Don't you know?" At this time, someone behind the classroom said: "That's because the mind is naturally cool when you are calm."

10. The spider loved the ant deeply, but was rejected when he expressed his love. , the spider yelled: "Why? Why is all this happening?" The ant said timidly: "My mother said, those who stay online all day long are not good people!" ? 11. Xiaoguang is a diligent and studious student. Use the winter vacation to work part-time to earn tuition. During the day, he helped a butcher cut meat, and at night he worked as an intern at the hospital. One night, an old woman needed surgery due to emergency, and Xiaoguang pushed her into the operating room. The old woman shouted in panic: "Oh my god! You are the pig killer, where are you going to push me!

12. The men's and women's toilets in the school are connected. A girl forgot to bring toilet paper when she went to the toilet. When I was embarrassed, toilet paper came from the men's room next door. The girl turned pale and asked "Who" loudly. The boy next door replied in a low and powerful voice: "Lei Feng." ”

13. A person felt like vomiting when he first got on the plane. The stewardess took an empty bag, and when it was almost full, she went to get another bag and told her, “Don’t vomit”. When she came back, she saw it all over the place. She asked why. He replied: "I saw it was almost full, so I took another sip and everyone around me vomited?"

14. After the tiger read about the Three Kingdoms, he went to catch the wild boar and saw that there was no pig in the pig's nest. He touched it. Beard said: Empty City Trick! When he turned around and saw a dead pig on the animal trap, he was shocked: Bitter Meat Trick! Suddenly he saw you again, and he was overjoyed: Hey, there is also a beauty trap?! Humorous little jokes about picking up girls online 2

1. A boy was dissatisfied with his girlfriend's cheating and followed her to a nightclub. When he saw her having sex with another boy, he rushed forward with a bottle of unknown liquid in his hand: I will disfigure you! Let's see how you eat it! Liquid was thrown on the girl's face.

When the people next door saw her disfigurement, they were all frightened away. The girl was very scared, but was surprised that she didn’t feel any sting after a while, so she asked: What did you splash? ?The boy said: It’s makeup remover! !

2. A bus was driving on a rugged mountain road. It was getting dark, and the man in the car woke up from his sleep. Suddenly, he found that all the tourists in the car had disappeared, and even the driver had disappeared, while the car was driving slowly along the mountain road! The man shuddered and shouted loudly: "There is a ghost! There is a ghost!" "It's as big as you," suddenly a voice came from the window, "The car broke down, we are all there

Come on, you’re the only one sleeping.”

3. A beautiful woman got out of the taxi and left her camera in the back seat. Seeing this, the driver hurriedly stuck his head out of the window and shouted at the beauty: "Miss, your camera?" The beauty blushed, turned her head and cursed: "You are like a fucking duck!" Then the taxi left. Then the beauty chased him and shouted: "Master, my camera, my camera?"

4. She met him who was lovelorn and drunk on a rainy night, and she fell in love with him without hesitation. She cooked, washed, and took care of household chores for him, but he always just looked at her from the sidelines. Finally one day, he said to her: Don't come again, I love men. With a look of shock on her face, she threw him down on the bed and said: Damn! If you hadn't told me earlier, I would have almost become crazy pretending to be a woman!

5. The professor often sees two turtles huddled motionless by the river. One day I couldn't help but asked a farmer out of curiosity: What are these two turtles doing? Farmer: In PK. Professor: You haven’t even touched P or K? Old farmer: We are competing to see who can live longer. Professor: But the one with the oracle bone inscription on its shell is already dead. At this time, another one suddenly poked his head out and cursed: MD, you died without saying a word?

6. One day an elephant was taking a bath. Suddenly an ant came over and said to the elephant: Stand up! The elephant stood up. Ant: Sit down. The elephant asked the ant what he wanted to do. Sometimes he stands up and sometimes he sits down. Ant replied! I lost my underwear. Let me see if you wore it.

7. A little boy asked me a question: In medicine, pain is divided into 12 levels. Being stared at by mosquitoes is level 1 pain. Giving birth is level 12 pain. What is level 13 pain? ! I thought for a long time and didn't think of anything more painful than giving birth, so I said: death. He said NO, and finally announced the answer? I was stared at by mosquitoes when I gave birth. --!I'm sweating!

8. Chicken feathers are rubbed on a bat - what kind of bird are you? 2. The water in the teapot - boil away! 3. Put powder into the coffin - save face! 4. Burning the bamboo forest in a big fire - a lot of bachelors; 5. Singing leg cramps - can't get off the stage; 6. Scattering soybeans in the sesame field - bastards; 7. Sheets used as diapers - generous enough! 8. Dirty mother cries dirty - so dirty. 9. There is an eldest brother and a second brother - who do you think is the eldest?

9. Although Xiaoqiang lost his car several times, he still put the car downstairs, but Xiaoqiang installed 5 locks on the car. . And attached a note to the car, which said viciously: "I let you steal!!" When he was about to lock the car the next day, he found that there were two more locks, and there was also a small piece of paper. The article also wrote viciously: "I let you ride!!";