Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Thirty-five thieves are flying in the waves of herring town.

Thirty-five thieves are flying in the waves of herring town.

"Surging in the waves, whose real name is Xu, his father's uncle was once an official to the official department, and the whole family benefited from the protection of relatives. At this time, the official Lu made a fortune. Unexpectedly, something unexpected happened, and Xu Shangshu once angered Tian Yan, causing the entire Xu family to be wiped out. In order to save his life, Ron Li Fei's father entrusted him to a close friend when he was five years old. From then on, Lang changed his name to Liu Yiner, and had nothing to do with the Xu family. This' best friend' wanted to hide Lang Lifei in his hometown Qingyu Town, and then help him find a suitable family to raise after the wind passed. I didn't think about it, but my enemy found out about it and told the government. Seeing that the situation is critical, my' best friend' can't take care of himself. How can he manage Lang Feifei's life and death? He burned down his ancestral home and ran away overnight, and no one ever saw him again. After that, Lang Lifei was burned to death and mixed with orphans and beggars in Qingyu Town.

Lang Li Fei and other orphans go out to beg at dawn every day, and 90% of the money they get will be given to beggars in this area. In order to fill their stomachs, orphans not only beg, but also engage in petty theft, targeting street food stalls and snack bars. Over time, vendors know that these little beggars have dirty hands and feet, and once they are found around, they will be extremely excited. Orphans are becoming more and more difficult to do, and often return empty-handed. If they are caught red-handed, they will suffer some flesh and blood. Among all orphans, only Ron Li Fei never lost his hand, not because he was faster than others, but because Ron Li Fei didn't become scared when stealing like other orphans. He always waits patiently until the vendors relax their vigilance before stealing, and he will not run away in a panic and show flaws in front of others. This skill also won a lot of admiration for Lang Li Fei, and some orphans called him "the little undefeated general".

The name of the "little undefeated general" who braved the wind and waves quickly spread to beggars. The beggar leader was very curious after hearing this. He wants to see what the doll can do and make him suffer, so as not to make him overbearing in the future. On that day, the leader of the Beggars' Sect ordered all orphans to come and bet with Lang Lifei in front of them: if he could steal a piece of meat from Lujia butcher shop in the west of the city within an hour, all orphans would only need to pay a penny from now on; If he doesn't dare to steal or won't steal, no orphan is allowed to call him' little undefeated general'. Some orphans were very close to Ron Li Fei, and advised him not to fight, because the butcher called him Seruda, and all the thieves caught would be beaten to pieces, even to the bone. Seruda was born bald, with a slim figure of more than eight feet tall and embroidered with flowers. Everyone in Qingyu Town said that he was the reincarnation of the flower monk among the heroes of the Water Margin. If this statement is true, it would be ridiculous for Lu Dihai, who was heavily guarding Kansai, to be reincarnated as a butcher. But everyone did not expect that Lang Lifei did not hesitate after listening and immediately accepted the gamble.

Early the next morning, he set out in the waves. He first cheated a set of children's clothes in the alley, and then disguised himself as a butcher shop in Seruda. He watched for a while, and soon he had a strategy in his mind. First, he dressed up as an innocent child, which is actually what a child of his age should look like. Hey, but for a little beggar like Ron Li Fei, "innocence" has become a distant hope. Then he pretended to play hide-and-seek with other children and ran around in front of the butcher shop. Not long after, Lang Lifei picked the right time and suddenly jumped to the front of the meat case. With a wave of his hand, he turned and ran away. This Seruda was very alert and immediately became suspicious of the waves. He took two steps forward and caught him. The head of the beggar in the distance saw it and cheered repeatedly, thinking that he had won. I didn't expect Seruda to find Lang Lifei's stolen goods for a long time, so I had to let him go. All the orphans are at a loss. I don't know what Lang Lifei is doing. After half a column of incense time, Lang Feifei did the same thing again and was caught by Seruda again. Everyone thought that Lang Feifei was doomed this time, but Seruda was once again empty. After two times in succession, Seruda was no longer wary of flying in the waves, allowing him to come and go freely in his meat box without hindrance. Just as the leader of the Beggars' Sect and the orphans were wheezing and rolling their eyes to leave, Langli flew back to everyone happily and said,' Haha, I won'. Then he stretched out his arm and a good tenderloin fell out of his sleeve. The beggar leader admitted defeat, and the orphans spared no effort to fly in the waves, clapping their hands and shouting' Long live the invincible general'. It should have passed like this, and at most it became an anecdote among orphans and beggars, but what happened just now was seen by a passerby, who completely changed Lang Feifei's life.

One day not long after, a man in a cloak and hood blocked the waves in an empty lane. This man doesn't seem to want others to recognize him. He kept his head down all the way and only looked at the direction out of the corner of his eye. He deliberately lowered his voice, but there was still arrogance in his words. Little undefeated general, I've been watching you for a long time. You are brave and a little clever, but you still lack the skills to steal. A thief without stealing skills might as well rob a house. So what? Anyway, in herring town, even in the county seat, I can steal whatever I want. Lang Lifei is dismissive of men's words. Haha, what a big breath. Can you steal the official seal of the county government? That man is even more rude. The' county government' flies out in the waves? Which thief dares to enter the lobby of the county government, isn't that to die? "I can," the man said confidently. Lang Lifei naturally didn't believe it and retorted,' If you can steal it, I'll send it back. The man smiled and told Lang Lifei to go to the county seat in three days, and it would be clear who would win or lose. Lang Lifei was amused because the man didn't appoint a time and place with him. The county is so big, how could they meet him? However, Lang Lifei is still a child. How could he miss such a novel thing? He finally decided to go to the county seat.

Three days later, when Lang Lifei arrived at the county seat, he felt that something was strange. First, there are people at the gate who strictly check in and out of the city. Second, as soon as I entered the city, I heard someone talking in the street, saying that people in the yamen were looking for things everywhere in the street, but they all broke their mouths and didn't mention anything. Lang Lifei muttered in his heart,' Did that man really steal the seal in the county government? Just then, a figure flew out from the corner and hit the waves head on. The man didn't apologize and hurried away without looking back. He looked at the familiar figure of the man in the waves and scolded a few words. Suddenly he found that his luggage seemed heavy. He opened it and found a three-inch square official seal inside. Riding the wind and waves, my mind suddenly went blank. Could it be that the man who hit him just now was the mysterious man who questioned him that day? what should he do ? What exactly does that man want? The safest way is to find an empty place and throw away this official seal, but in this way, it is equivalent to giving up. It is not a long-term solution to carry the official seal with you. He is a foreigner who will be questioned sooner or later. After much deliberation, I had to crustily skin of head and return the official seal, but that was tantamount to a trap. Riding the wind and waves is like Wu Zixu before Zhaoguan, and his youth turns white with anxiety. After some hesitation, Lang Lifei made a decision for him with first-class pride, and he would keep his promise to send the official seal back to the lobby of the county government, even if it was just for a joke. He came outside the county government with his official seal on his back. After walking around the yamen, he was pleasantly surprised to find that there were no guards around the county government. Are all the officers looking in the county seat, or is God helping him? It is one thing to have no guards, but it is another to have the courage to walk into the county gate with a stolen official seal. However, Lang Lifei did not hesitate. He walked into the gate of the county government and sneaked forward in the shadow of the tree house. There is no one in the yamen, but the heart dancing in the stormy waves is pounding like a newly hatched sparrow, pecking at the grass seeds on the ground. He takes every step carefully, and there may be a crisis lurking in the darkness. Could this be a trap? But he has no way out, so he can only rush forward with his eyes closed. Although there was no one around, Lang Lifei looked at the incense for a long time before he dared to sneak into the county hall. He had seen the magistrate's adult trial outside, and the magistrate's horse sitting high in the office was like a god-assisted verdict, which made him unable to help but applaud, but the thought that he was also a thief immediately frightened. He bent down to hide in the crowd, afraid of being seen by the magistrate, and remembered his own appearance. Fluttering leisurely walked to the front of the desk, even afraid to breathe, as if the original horse county magistrate was still sitting in the chair next to him. The box printed on weekdays is really empty. Lang Lifei opened the bag and put the official seal on it. He thought to himself, so the mysterious man can't say that he has broken his word. Hehe, this time he should know the power of the invincible general. But just then, a man came out of the patio. It's the mysterious man. I'm really not mistaken. You are the person I am looking for. Flying in the waves was a fright. It's hard to believe that this man in front of him dares to hide in the county government. He asked trembling,' What do you want with me? The man said,' I want to take you as an apprentice. If you learn from me, you can become the first thief in the world. That man's words seem so convincing that you have to believe him. Who the fuck are you ? Flying in the waves is becoming more and more curious about the man in front of me. The man took off his hood and showed his face. People flying in the waves can't believe their eyes. He was always bold, but his knees went soft and he fell to the ground. "

When it comes to braving the wind and waves, the crazy woman keeps talking, and her face is getting rosy again. The whole person is much more glorious than usual. Jiang felt that her mother-in-law's condition might improve, and the tears in her eyes gradually receded, so she patiently listened to the story. At this time, the crow's shrill cry came from the sky.

The mysterious man was none other than the stormy Ma County magistrate, who lived in herring town and was a famous juren. In his early years, the emperor also inscribed a plaque in recognition of his loyalty and filial piety. As soon as the holy reward arrived, Ma's family naturally became the most prestigious scholarly family in herring town. In the eyes of outsiders, Ma is a perfect official with good conduct, dedicated to serving the public and the people, and does not seek promotion. However, the horse himself has an unknown knot: he has only one hobby in this world-stealing. For Malay, reading, playing politics, feasting, gambling and whoring are as boring as calculating old scores compared with stealing. Stealing can bring him unparalleled excitement and pleasure. Even if he just carries out the plan in his mind, he will be excited. It's like a mental illness, but he can't extricate himself from it. This is pure self-experience and extremely immoral. He can only keep the secret to himself. For decades, he has been studying the methods and skills of stealing, and even went to prison to talk about stealing with famous recidivists. Of course, people around the world don't know why, but they all praise him for visiting prisons all the time to ensure the fairness of one-party governance. In order to keep a pair of flexible hands, the horse shuts himself in the kitchen every morning, holding a chopstick one and a half feet long, repeatedly taking out a hundred beans from the bag and throwing them into the bowl, one at a time, two at a time, three at a time, and five at most. Every time he reaches 100, he will pour the beans in the bowl back into the bag and start over. An hour later, he asked the chef to go into the kitchen and cooked the 100 beans he left in the bowl as his ration. Ironically, this incident later spread to the outside world, and soon the horse had a reputation of "counting beans to eat" and diligence. The fame that ordinary people yearn for is a heavy shackle in the eyes of horses. Wearing such a pair of shackles, he no longer wants to satisfy his desire to steal. He must consider his family and people. Once caught and exposed, they will be charged with the great crime of deceiving the monarch and confusing the whole family. He can only live a' dark addiction' in his own way-stealing the heavily guarded treasures in his mind. These treasures include the mansions of princes, the granaries of officials, and even the forbidden pavilions in the inner court of the palace. The whole process of stealing is not a wild guess made out of nothing, but after careful planning, he will investigate the terrain on the spot, find out the garrison situation, and even know the information such as the chef, the purchaser, the people who can get in and out of it, the mistress of the lover of an important person, and then he will observe the sky and choose the best time to steal. When it's time to steal, he will find a high place overlooking the treasure house, sit quietly in his mind and carry out his thrilling theft journey. He is not always successful. Sometimes a sudden change in the weather or a change in the defensive situation that day may make his plan fail, but this is also the charm of stealing-you have to take a lot of risks, and no one is foolproof. Just as he was about to leave his post and return to China, he devoted himself to sorting out his "life lessons". One wish touched his heart more and more, which made him sleepless, and that was to find a successor. "

"Langlifei must have promised him?" Ginger asked curiously.

"Yes, the horse value is this brave and cautious, it is one in a million. The famous teacher Ma wants to teach him the art of theft, and the drums in his heart have been beating. He respects and fears the unfathomable in front of him, and at the same time, his commitment to the horse is full of children's unique ignorant yearning. The two of them hit it off immediately. Since then, I have been flying around in front of others as a handyman in Ma Fu, secretly learning to steal from horses. Some people are born saints who educate the people, some people are born kings who rule in all directions, and some people are born thieves who never miss. God not only endowed them with extraordinary talents, but also steered their lives at critical moments, leaving them with no choice but to complete their own destiny. They are born thieves to ride the wind and waves. Fifteen years later, the theft flying in the stormy waves has been shining on you, but the horse is dying.

One day, the horse lying on his sickbed called Lang Lifei to him and said that there was a thousand-year-old ginseng in Changbai Mountain in Guandong, and only this ginseng could save his life. Riding the wind and waves is a person who attaches great importance to friendship. After hearing what the teacher said, he immediately patted his chest and accepted the heavy responsibility of stealing. The theft was surprisingly smooth at first, just like entering the lobby of the county government. Lang Lifei easily slipped into the magistrate's mansion. But just when he found this thousand-year-old ginseng tree, government catchers swarmed in and captured him. The whole process seems to be a hunt to him. The captain asked his name. In a trance, he saw the last three words of the couplet on the wall,' braving the wind and waves',' what should we do after several ups and downs?' The magistrate ordered Lang Lifei to be put into the state prison, thinking that he could sit back and relax. But now, no lock in the world can keep the waves from splashing, and no prison can keep them. Lang Li Fei escaped from the government office that night, but he didn't celebrate his freedom, nor did he escape from the state capital overnight in fear, but went straight to the magistrate's office. No one can expect that there are such bold thieves in the world, and naturally no one can stop thieves from stealing the treasures of the magistrate. The next day, the name of the rogue in the waves spread to every corner of the county and became a hero praised by underworld figures. The rage of the magistrate's adult has nowhere to vent, and it can only be turned into pen and ink on the wanted order documents with portraits flying in the waves. However, I heard that those portraits were quite outrageous, and later a lot of jokes were made. One of the funniest things is that innocent passers-by were once put in prison by a policeman who shouted' Where to fly in the waves'. . Besides, the fried ginseng soup in the waves was served to the horse, but the horse smiled and pushed away the medicine bowl. Ma told Lang Lifei that he was hopeless, not to mention ginseng soup, even the elixir of the throne old gentleman was of no help. Ma Juren also admitted to his disciples that he was also the one who informed the magistrate. Yes, except him, who knows Lang Lifei's stealing plan! Ma knew that Lang Lifei would escape from prison, which was the core of his plan. We are even, so you don't have to thank me from now on. I hope you don't hate me. Ma Juren watched the waves fly, his weak eyelids trembled and his face tasted what he wanted. Flying in the waves is confusing. He didn't understand why the teacher did it. Ma Juren smiled and told him,' I can't let you make the same mistake as me. If I hadn't, you might not have gone that way after I died. People always seek pleasure or get all kinds of involuntary attention, and you are no exception. At that time, everything I did was meaningless, which was the only thing I was afraid of, even more than the punishment I would face after I died, so I could only betray you, my apprentice, just like a drowning person would drag a rescuer into the water. My life is disguised as too hard, and too many troubles press on me like a boulder, making me bend down and turn my hands into feet. I can never climb the mountain I yearn for again. I envy those people who have no way out. Only in this way can they turn their backs. I want you to be that person. Ha ha, the horse coughed with a smile. This strange voice echoed in his weak body like a dead leaf,' You! Thieves are flying in the waves, haha, I like your new name. Whenever you open the door of a treasure house, I am there, yes, I am there! Ha ha laugh ... Ma Juren died in laughter. He knows Lang Lifei best, but underestimates his apprentice. Lang Lifei still has a way to go, but it is also a point of no return. "

"I didn't expect this wave to fly in a poor place." Jiang asked quietly.

"Poor? That's for the weak. Ron Li Fei is the strong. He will try his best to control his own destiny, even the fate of others. " Crazy woman with a bitter smile.

"Let's go back to the story of the girl and the thief on the bookshelf, which is our focus. You may ask, aren't girls afraid to fly in the waves? She is afraid, but also extremely curious, just like a child who knows that the graveyard at night is terrible, but can't help sneaking over to see the jack-o'-lantern. People are so unreasonable. From birth, they have a spear in one hand and a shield in the other. They unconsciously stab the shield with spears, never knowing whether they are afraid of the spear breaking or the shield cracking. The girl finally chose her spear. Although she was very upset, she went to the window and opened the treasure box containing the night pearl. The twinkling pearls startled the birds in the mountains. They fly to the ancient pagoda in the distance like predatory bats. When they disappeared from the girl's sight, there was a flute from the ancient pagoda. "