Who has some jokes? I'll add 50 points to the one who tells the most jokes.

Lao Dong, a native of Henan, came to the south for breakfast. As soon as I entered the door, I asked, "Miss, how much is it to sleep (bowl) in jiaozi for one night?" The waiter was very unhappy and said, "No, only.

Steamed bread. "Old Dong said," Oh, just touch it. " The waiter was so angry that he scolded, "rogue! Old Dong was surprised: "Sixty cents?" It's too cheap! "

Sichuan Province

A soldier was captured, and the officer promised to grant him three wishes before killing him.

The soldier said I want to have a word with my horse. The enemy agreed.

The next day, the horse came back with a beautiful woman, a soldier and a woman.

The police officer said there were two more wishes. The soldier said I want to have a word with my horse. The enemy agreed.

The next day, the horse came back and brought back a beautiful woman. The soldier spent another night with the beautiful woman.

The officer said you had one last wish. The soldier still said I wanted to talk to my horse.

The officer was very surprised and went to the stable to eavesdrop. He saw the soldier holding the horse's ear and shouted, "I told you to take a woman (brigade), not a woman!" "

Ears are here.

The new magistrate is from Shandong. Because he wanted to pay the bill, he said to the master, "You give it to me."

Go buy two bamboo poles. "

When touts heard that the "bamboo pole" with Shandong accent was "pig liver", they quickly agreed and ran away.

Go to the butcher shop and say to the shopkeeper, "Master Xinxian wants to buy two pieces of pork liver. You are a clever man.

You should know it! "

The shopkeeper is a clever man. He understood as soon as he heard it. He immediately cut two pieces of pig liver as gifts.

There are a pair of pig ears.

After leaving the butcher's shop, the owner thought, "The owner told me to buy pork liver. This pig ear, of course. "

This is mine ... "So he wrapped the hunting ear and stuffed it into his pocket. Back to the county government, to the magistrate of a county.

"Come back and report, Grandpa," he said. "I bought pig liver!"

The magistrate was very angry when he saw that the master had bought pig liver, and said, "Where are your ears!" " "

Hearing this, the touts frighten forward, hurriedly replied:

"Ears … ears … here … in my … pocket!"

Do what you see.

Once upon a time, there was a landlord who loved chickens very much. The tenant rented his land, but he couldn't just pay the rent.

I have to give him a chicken first.

A tenant named Zhang San went to pay the rent to the landlord at the end of the year and rented it out the next year.

When he went, he put a chicken in a bag, paid the rent and told the landlord about the lease for next year.

However, he looked at the sky with empty hands and said, "There are no three kinds of fields in this field."

Zhang Sanming understood the meaning of this sentence and immediately took the chicken out of the bag. basic concept

After eating the chicken, he immediately changed his mouth and said, "Who will I give it to if I don't give it to Zhang San?"

Zhang San said, "Your words have changed so fast!"

The landlord replied: "that sentence was nonsense just now, and now it is' seeing'."

Machine (chicken) making. "

There is a chance.

A commodity salesman went to Guangzhou on business. After arriving in Beijing, he wanted to fly before.

I used to send a telegram to the manager for fear that the manager would not agree to the reimbursement: "Take advantage of the opportunity."

No? "The manager received the telegram and thought it was an" opportunity "to clinch a deal. He immediately called back:" You can take it.

Multiply "

The salesman came back from a business trip to reimburse the travel expenses, and the manager took a plane with insufficient level.

The provisions of the plane will not be reimbursed, and the plane ticket fee will not be reimbursed. The salesman killed the manager and came back.

Electricity, the manager was dumbfounded.

Geographical name correlation

On New Year's Eve, my brother took two overseas Chinese students home for dinner. One is cheerful and the other is more cheerful.

For form.

During the dinner, the cheerful classmate smiled and said to us, "He is."

I come from Myanmar, so I am shy. "Then he raised his glass to propose a toast to everyone and stayed for a drink.

Then he said, "I'm from Yangon."

The headmaster is angry.

At the school affairs meeting at the end of the term, the headmaster was furious at the inefficiency of personnel management.

It thunders He said: "the person in charge of the director's business is not sensible; The consciousness of personnel management is not strong;

As an officer, I won't do it! "

A foreign girl married to China. When eating breakfast, I was pointed out that I can't eat fried dough sticks: "Dip it."

She stood up at once and was told, "Take a dip!"

Confused, she said indignantly, "Let me eat standing up. I have stood up. Where should I stand? "

Xiaoming, who likes learning English, is looking for opportunities to speak English day and night.

On this day, he accidentally walked into a foreigner, and he said shyly, "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too." The foreigner replied.

"I'm sorry for three." Xiao Ming answered at once.

"What are you sorry for? "Asked the foreigner.

"Sorry five ..." Xiao Ming said.

One day, A Shuang died and everyone in the family was crying, "Cool, cool!" A passerby asked them why they cried so hard, and one of his family said, "That's awesome."

A male deer, it walked faster and faster, and finally became a road (deer)! ! ! !

A county magistrate with a strong accent went to the village to give a report: "rabbit, shrimp, pig tail!" No pickles, pickles are too expensive! ! 」

Attention, comrades and villagers! Stop talking and have a meeting now! ! )

After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said, "Sausages and pickles, please!"! 」

Now, please talk to the township head! )

The township head said, "Rabbit, the dog ate today's meal, and everyone is a big jerk!" 」

Comrades, that's enough for today. We are all big bowls! )

No pickles, I'll pick up a piece of shit and lick it for you. ...

Don't talk, I'll tell you a story.

Two Yunnan people went to Beijing to play. They heard that Beijing roast duck is very famous and decided to eat it. As soon as they sat down, one of them said to the waiter, "Go and dump those two roast ducks.

Dump! "After waiting for a while, they saw the waiter waving a roast duck in front of them and left. One of them couldn't wait, so he called the waiter to ask.

Why not serve them roast duck? The waiter said, "Didn't you ask me to bring a roast duck?"

Note: ("Shuai Shuai" means "eat" in Yunnan dialect)

Henan Province

Lao Dong, a native of Henan, came to the south for breakfast. As soon as I entered the door, I asked, "Miss, how much is it to sleep (bowl) in jiaozi for one night?" The waiter was very unhappy and said, "No, only.

Steamed bread. "Old Dong said," Oh, just touch it. " The waiter was so angry that he scolded, "rogue! Old Dong was surprised: "Sixty cents?" It's too cheap! "

/v _ show/id _ XNTEzNTYw _ playlist _ playlist . html

References:

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Responder: Tian 'ai-doorman level 3 1 1-5 13:23.

Modify the reply: close the love of heavenly daughter, and the reply you want to modify is as follows: integral rules.

One day, A Shuang died and everyone in the family was crying, "Cool, cool!" A passerby asked them why they cried so hard, and one of his family said, "That's awesome."

A male deer, it walked faster and faster, and finally became a road (deer)! ! ! !

A county magistrate with a strong accent went to the village to give a report: "rabbit, shrimp, pig tail!" No pickles, pickles are too expensive! ! 」

Attention, comrades and villagers! Stop talking and have a meeting now! ! )

After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said, "Sausages and pickles, please!"! 」

Now, please talk to the township head! )

The township head said, "Rabbit, the dog ate today's meal, and everyone is a big jerk!" 」

Comrades, that's enough for today. We are all big bowls! )

No pickles, I'll pick up a piece of shit and lick it for you. ...

Don't talk, I'll tell you a story.

Two Yunnan people went to Beijing to play. They heard that Beijing roast duck is very famous and decided to eat it. As soon as they sat down, one of them said to the waiter, "Go and dump those two roast ducks.

Dump! "After waiting for a while, they saw the waiter waving a roast duck in front of them and left. One of them couldn't wait, so he called the waiter to ask.

Why not serve them roast duck? The waiter said, "Didn't you ask me to bring a roast duck?"

Note: ("Shuai Shuai" means "eat" in Yunnan dialect)

Henan Province

Lao Dong, a native of Henan, came to the south for breakfast. As soon as I entered the door, I asked, "Miss, how much is it to sleep (bowl) in jiaozi for one night?" The waiter was very unhappy and said, "No, only.

Steamed bread. "Old Dong said," Oh, just touch it. " The waiter was so angry that he scolded, "rogue! Old Dong was surprised: "Sixty cents?" It's too cheap! "

/v _ show/id _ XNTEzNTYw _ playlist _ playlist . html

References:

/v _ show/id _ XNTEzNTYw _ playlist _ playlist . html

One day, a rich man wanted to buy a car, but he hesitated because there was no Geely license plate number in the garage. The owner of the car dealership came over and said with a smile, "This license plate is good, 00544 (let me try), and no one dares to mess around, right?" !

The rich man was moved and bought the car at once, but something happened the next day. The rich man got off the bus angrily, thinking that you would dare to hit this car, but as soon as he got off the bus, he left in despair. The other party's original license plate is 44944 (just try it).