Urgent for 8-person sketch.

Eunuch: Your Majesty, here we are.

The prelude to the music "Bao Qingtian" began.

Qin Shihuang and eunuchs appeared

Qin Shihuang: (singing and dancing) There was A Qin Qin Shihuang in the Qin Dynasty! The world is unified in the forefront! Not afraid of the sun, not afraid of the wind, afraid that this assassin will stab me. what can I do? Hey. . . . . . (Sit down)

Samurai: Report ~ ~ ~ ~

Qin Shihuang: What newspaper?

Samurai: (singing "Hug Hug") Hug Hug, that hug, tell your Majesty that someone is looking for you outside.

Qin Shihuang: Who?

Samurai: This man claims to be anonymous, saying that he brought the assassin's head to your majesty.

Qin Shihuang: Are you serious?

Samurai: Yes, sir!

Qin Shihuang: Announce it quickly.

Eunuch: Xuanwuming went to the temple.

(unknown catwalk, pose, walk and shake hands with Qin Shihuang. )

Unknown: Nice to meet you!

Qin Shihuang: Nice to meet you, too!

(Nobody wants to hug Qin Shihuang)

Eunuch: Don't be rude! (Pushing them away)

Wu Ming: (kneeling on one leg) kowtow to your majesty!

Qin Shihuang: No ceremony! Unknown. Let me ask you something.

Eunuch: Your Majesty, monarchs generally don't call me a widow.

Qin Shihuang: Oh, by the way, how could I forget this? Unknown, widowed. . . The widow asks you.

Eunuch: Not a widow, but a widow.

Qin Shihuang: (kicking the eunuch to the ground with one foot) talkative. Unknown, I ask you, did you really bring the assassin's head?

Unknown: Hi!

Eunuch: Impossible. Show me the evidence.

Qin Shihuang: Can anyone testify?

Samurai: I can testify.

Eunuch: objection. Objection. Our opponent's friends bought off our players to commit perjury.

Qin Shihuang: Rejected! Samurai, come on!

Samurai: The assassin's head has been sent to the kitchen.

Qin Shihuang: All right, Wu Ming, tell me what happened.

Unknown: Yes, Your Majesty. At that time, we were recruited to form the Gang of Four who stabbed Qin. They were Sky, broken arrow, Fei Xue, and Minister (March of athletes and catwalk in turn). Their names were!

Four people went on stage to see the shape of a meteor. The background music of "Meteor Shower" begins, and then the song "Meteor Shower" exits.

Unknown: However, they don't know that I am loyal to your Majesty. I'm actually undercover. One day, I faced the sky alone.

Changkongshang

Sky: (looking at the sky indifferently) The moon is really round from a distance. Sometimes it is not very round. Why is it so round now? Because it is round.

Phantom unknown: good poem! Good poem! Brother Sky, why do you sigh so much!

Sky: Alas, the next time I think that the dream of stabbing Qin has not come true, I will be filled with emotion and full of poetry. Ah, the sea is full of water; Horse, four legs!

Phantom Unknown: So I'm going to kill the sky, and I'm going to use my unique skill-the first quarter of the eighth set of broadcast gymnastics!

(Music broadcast gymnastics, fantasy nameless do "stretching", kill the sky)

Sky: You, you, you ~ ~ (fall to the ground)

(Infernal Affairs Music)

Ghost unknown: Sorry, I'm undercover.

Canjian: (On Canjian, the sword refers to unknown) You, you are undercover.

Xue: (prone on the snow) Why kill each other?

Phantom nameless, remnant sword: he is undercover!

Xue Fei: Who is undercover?

Phantom nameless, remnant sword: him!

Xue Fei: Be quiet. As usual.

The unknown and the remnant sword are close at hand, but far away to kiss! )

Canjian: Sorry, we are attracted to each other. We have no choice!

(broken arrow's nameless circle, then punches)

Phantom nameless, remnant sword: (singing) Two little bees fly to the flowers, fly, fly.

Qin Shihuang: Stop it! Who won in the end?

Unknown: Haha, it's a minister, because fools in broken arrow only know scissors. (Canjian raises scissors to make a "yeah" shape)

Qin Shihuang: What happened later?

(Later Music)

Xue Fei: Broken sword, so you are undercover. Why didn't you fight back?

Canjian: Because, because, you stabbed too fast! ! (landing)

Yueru: Master!

Qin Shihuang: Kaka! ! Who is this man?

Unknown: This person is the personal servant girl of Canjian.

Qin Shihuang: Oh, is this maid a woman?

Unknown: Your Majesty is really a clever and wise SHEN WOO!

Yueru: Master, I will avenge you! (A sword stabbed Xue Fei to death)

Unknown: Then I drew my sword and killed Yueru! (When the moon fell to the ground screaming) So all the assassins were wiped out. Hahaha!

Qin Shihuang: Hahahaha ~ ~ Unknown, you are lying to me!

Unknown: Why did your Majesty say that?

Qin Shihuang: (getting up) Because I have seen broken arrow. I was thinking that day when I heard the wind rustling and saw broken arrow falling from the sky.

Canjian: I'm here to assassinate you. (Qin Shihuang ignored) I'm here to assassinate you. (Qin Shihuang still ignores it) I'm here to assassinate you. I beg you not to ignore me. I'm here to assassinate you.

Qin Shihuang: (looking at the broken sword contemptuously) How depressing!

Canjian: Why are you depressed?

Qin Shihuang: Have you seen the Alec Simak trilogy, Seymour Wedge Bickov?

Canjian: You mean Gorky's childhood, on the earth and my university, right? I do. Which book are you reading?

Qin Shihuang: On earth.

Canjian: How do you feel?

Qin Shihuang: I feel so depressed on earth.

Canjian: bosom friend! I feel the same way.

Qin Shihuang: So we watched the stars, the moon and drank together.

Qin Shihuang and Canjian sang: The sea laughed and surged across the strait. (Qin Shihuang pushes the broken sword off the stage)

Qin Shihuang: So you lied to me when you said that broken arrow could only produce scissors, because that fool could only produce stones. So I guess what happened at that time was like this. First of all, you killed the sky by mistake, because as far as I know, you learned martial arts together that day, and you did the second turn. As for the broken sword, I have sent Sherlock Holmes and Sherlock Holmes to look into it.

Unknown: Sherlock Holmes and Sherlock Holmes? Who are they?

Eunuch: Hahahaha, I'm Sherlock Holmes. (posture)

Samurai: Haha, I'm Foer (Samurai reaches out, eunuch spits on Samurai, Samurai brushes his hair).

Eunuch and samurai: We are brave detectives!

Eunuch: As far as we know, Canjian and Xue Fei have had an affair.

Qin Shihuang: So I guess they were enjoying the moon and flowers that day.

(Fei Xue broken arrow plays in butterfly lovers's classic posture, and the music begins)

Xue Fei: The moon is really round tonight!

Canjian: Yes! The moon is really round tonight!

Flying snow; Don't you have anything to say to me

Canjian: Yes.

Xue Fei: What?

Canjian: The moon is too round tonight!

Flying snow: FT! !

Canjian: Actually, I really have something to say to you.

Xue Fei: What's this?

Canjian: I don't want to stab Qin.

(Xue Fei angrily pulls out his sword and puts it around the neck of the remnant sword)

Xue Fei: Why don't you stab Qin? Believe it or not, I will kill you!

Can Jian: At that time, the sword was only 0.0 1 cm away from my throat, but after a quarter of incense, the mistress of that sword fell in love with me completely because I was going to lie. Although I have lied countless times in my life, I think this time is the most perfect.

Xue Fei: If you take one more step, I'll kill you.

Canjian: You should do this. I deserve to die, too There was once a sincere love in front of me. I didn't cherish it, but now I regret it. The greatest sorrow in life is this. Cut my throat with your sword. Do not hesitate. If God is willing to give me another chance, I will say three words to that girl: "I love you". If I have to add a time limit to this love, I hope it is 10 thousand years!

(Tears moved by flying snow)

Qin Shihuang: As for the moon you mentioned, it may have rushed in.

Yueru: (rushing in and bumping into Xue Fei) Master, don't kill my master (Yueru pushes Xue Fei's sword into the chest of the remnant sword).

Canjian: Oh, really? ××× (landing) ※

Xue Fei: Ah! Broken arrow! My love! !

Xue Fei: (Yes, Yueru) Yueru, you bitch! (a sword kills the moon)

Yueru: Ah ~ ~ ~

Xue Fei: I don't want to live either! (suicide)

Qin Shihuang: Then you brought me their heads, didn't you?

Unknown: hahaha ~ ~ ~

Qin Shihuang: So you still want to kill me today, ok. I want to fight you. Give me the sword!

(Eunuch holding a sword to the unknown)

Unknown: Good sword, good sword! ! You think I'm a three-year-old child! I have a sword, but you have no weapon. Isn't that fair?

Qin Shihuang: (grinned) Ha ha ha ~ ~ (stretched out his left hand, eunuch took the sword)

(The two confronted each other, and then the unknown drew his sword, scaring the broken arrow and the unknown half to death. )

Qin Shihuang: Huh? What happened? Go and have a look.

Eunuch: (sniffing at Unknown) Your Majesty, Unknown has been scared to death!

Qin Shihuang: I must lead the soldiers of Daqin to lay a vast territory!

Samurai and Eunuch: Long live Your Majesty! ! !

(curtain call, all actors line up)

Eunuch: One bow, two bows, three bows (both: cut ...,)

(exit)

Friendly reminder: "There are many versions of this script! There is no copyright that is not protected by copyright ... It is recommended to have your own innovation! "

Sketch: new students enter school

Character: Vance (soft on the outside and tough on the inside) (funny and bold)

Yang Jingze (Humor, Sleeping God, the tone is simulated in Xiao Shenyang)

Huo (simple and honest, stuttering)

George W. Bush (cute baby) pudding (quiet and generous)

Qin Ershi (stuttering but funny) Beidaihe (soft in the middle and hard in the middle)

Teacher Liu (amiable)

(At the beginning of school, freshmen report for admission ... at the door of class 8 19 ...)

Liu Mang took to the stage with Le Shu in his hand; Fan Si then held a drawing board in his hand, and the two looked around and made a pair of "devils entering the village".

Liu: (looking at the sign at the door of the classroom) It was Class 8 18 just now, and this is Class 9 18. Well, I finally found it.

Fan: (patting Liu on the shoulder) Brother, (emphasizing) you read it backwards, right?

Liu: (holding glasses at them) Oh, yes, yes, I said that the September 18th Incident was not here either! (Pauses and looks at Fan) Are you a new classmate, too?

Fan: Ang!

Liu: What's your major? (patting Fan's drawing board) Woodworker Ang?

Fan: (taking the drawing board back, Liu takes a step back and is startled) Art!

Liu: Ah, art, not bad!

Fan: And you are?

Liu: Me? (Show Fan the piano book) Music (Music) (Make a fist with your right hand as the microphone and start singing)

Fan: Ah, Le (Le), very good! (Paused) Then let's hurry in. (Emphasis) The teacher will come at once!

(The two entered the classroom in the form of "devils entering the village", and only Yang Jingze was sleeping in the classroom; Fan and Liu are sitting on two stools in the last row chatting ...)

Liu: Hey, I said, how much did you bring back? (I waved the "money" gesture twice in front of Fan, and Fan's head turned twice. Liu finally snapped his fingers, and Fan's head stopped. )

Fan: (thinking) Oh, I brought more than 400.

Liu: (thinking) More than 400 ... Is more than 400 enough?

Fan: (wondering) Is it enough ... or not?

Liu: I want to know. I asked you. Who knows what this school eats? If you eat instant noodles, you can eat them for several months; Eat Beijing roast duck, and it will be gone in two or three days! Who knows whether this school eats instant noodles or Beijing roast duck? (thoughtfully, suddenly) Hey, I said, where are you from?

Fan: I, oh (thinking), come from Luzhuang village, Anxin County, Baoding City, Hebei Province (Di Kuai, with emphasis).

Liu: Yes, wait a minute, look for it (pointing to his head). Niu Jiao Village Ang?

Fan: Ang, who are you?

Liu: Me? I am from Bianying Village, Baituan Township, Qingyuan County, Baoding City, Hebei Province (Di Kuai, with an accent).

Fan: Bianying Village?

Liu: Ang! ... hey, after all this talk, I don't know your name.

Fan: Ah, my last name is Fan.

Liu: Fan what?

Fan: (a little angry, suddenly standing up and pushing Liu's shoulder) You are stupid! My last name is Fan Mingsi.

Liu: Fan Mingsi? What a nice name! Look at China's 5,000 years ... (Get up and plan to make a long speech)

Fan: (stops Liu) Big Brother, Big Brother, Big Brother ... It's Fan Si (nods).

Liu: Vance, the name is also very good. Look at this fan, this Si, especially this Si ... Are you the fourth child in the family?

Fan: Ah! Yes! (Sit down)

(Liu sits down)

What's your last name?

Liu: My last name is Liu!

Fan: What's your name?

Liu: Ah!

Fan: (startled, standing up and pointing to Liu) You ... you rascal?

Liu: (stands up) Who is the rogue? Can you talk? Many people have misunderstood! This is not a hooligan, this is Liu Mang!

Fan: Is that ... is that still a hooligan?

Liu: (looking at Fan, a little angry) Bah! I'll give you a face of slimming tea! (Fan wipes his face with his hand and shakes it) This is Liu's surname, Liu, and this is an empty one, (gesturing with his hand) Liu Mang! You got it?

Fan: Oh, Liu Mang!

Liu: You know me?

Fan: No!

Liu: I don't know you. Oh, save it.

(Two people sit down, silent for a moment, and Liu gets up)

Liu: Hey, how was this (Zeng) week? (Fan stands up) I think you have a good figure (I patted Fan on the shoulder and Fan almost fell down). Shall we make friends?

Fan: All right!

Liu: I have money here.

Fan: (excited) Really? !

Liu: I'll treat you to dinner another day!

Fan: All right!

Liu: How about buying you some noodles?

Fan: A straight face? No, no, no tofu!

Liu: Hey, bean curd brain is suddenly bean curd brain, fart is bigger, and suddenly it's a deal! !

Fan: Ang!

(George W. Bush, Xiao Puding, Huo, Beidaihe. Taking the lecture table as a reference, the above students' location layout: the first row: George W. Bush on the left, pudding on the right; The second row: Qin Ershi on the left and Yang Jingze on the right; The third row: Huo Yuan's legacy on the left and Beidaihe on the right; Row 4: Liu Mang on the left and Vance on the right.

After entering the classroom, the students began to chat. Suddenly someone shouted, "The teacher is coming." So everyone sat down, and Mr. Liu walked solemnly to the lecture table with a math book in his hand.

Miss Liu: Hello, class. I'm your class teacher. My name is Liu. I hope everyone will unite and help each other and study hard in the future. Later ... (Looking around, I found someone sleeping) Alas! That classmate! (pointing to Yang Jingze)

Beidaihe: Hey! (Pushing Yang with his hand, Yang wakes up from his sleep and looks at Beidaihe with dim eyes. ) teacher!

Yang Jingze: (I didn't hear you clearly) Keys? The key is in the pocket, Tony! (just reaching for the key)

Beidaihe: Teacher!

Yang Jingze: (suddenly stands up, wobbles, quickly puts on his glasses and looks at Mr. Liu) Hello, teacher!

Miss Liu: What's your name?

Yang Jingze: Teacher, my Chinese name is Yang Jingze.

Miss Liu: Do you have a foreign name?

Yang Jingze: My English name is Jingze Y-ang!

Teacher Liu: Why did you sleep when you first came?

Yang Jingze: Teacher! I sleep for a reason (di)!

Miss Liu: What's the reason?

Yang Jingze: Actually, I have summed it up. Sometimes I think, class and sleep are the same (di). The intraocular pressure is closed, the pressure is turned on, and the pressure shift is over. Howl! The intraocular pressure was closed eight times (equivalent to "no"), and the pressure passed in the morning. Howl!

Miss Liu: So you sleep every day?

Yang Jingze: Teacher, I don't sleep every day. Do you know what is the most painful thing in life?

Miss Liu: What?

Yang Jingze: People cook. You're still awake!

Miss Liu: (surprised) Oh, my God!

(Mr. Huo raises his hand, and Mr. Liu signals Yang Jingze to sit down and let Mr. Huo stand up. )

Miss Liu: What's your name?

H: My name is H.

Miss Liu: What?

Huo Yuan's legacy.

(Mr. Liu still didn't hear you clearly, and he was at a loss. )

Qin Ershi: He … He … His name is Huo … Huo … Huo …

Yang Jingze: Oh, my God, where is your Huo Yuanjia?

George W. Bush: Don't be "Huo". His name is Huo!

Miss Liu: Oh, why did you raise your hand just now?

H: Teacher, do you know what is the most painful thing in life?

(Teacher Liu looks at Huo doubtfully)

H: I just haven't finished class yet!

Miss Liu: (startled) Ah!

Yang Jingze: Great! (Two people embrace) It can be seen that (Zhao) is a "fellow villager". (After taking a seat)

Teacher Liu: I didn't expect the students to sum up such brilliant words, which really shocked me! Let's ask the students to introduce themselves.

Teacher Liu: (walks to George W. Bush's desk) This classmate, come here!

George W. Bush: (beaming) Teacher, my name is Xiao, and my name is George W. Bush. This name was given to me by my mother (brother). My mother said that this name (pointing back with her hand) sounds good!

Teacher Liu: (echoing voice) It's nice, really nice! (turning to pudding)

Pudding: (Gentle) Teacher, my surname is Xiao, too. My name is pudding!

Teacher Liu: (slightly surprised, but very kind) I quite like pudding ice cream!

George W. Bush: (excited) I like it too!

Miss Liu: (walks to Qin Ershi) This classmate?

Qin Ershi: Lao … Lao … Teacher, I … I … I … I prefer eating!

Miss Liu: Well, what's your name?

Qin Ershi: I ... I ... I ... My last name is Qin ...

Teacher Liu: Your name is not Qin Shihuang, is it?

Qin Ershi: No … No … No … No! I ... I ... My name is ... Qin Dynasty ... Qin Dynasty ... Qin Ershi!

Miss Liu: (surprised) Qin Ershi? !

Qin Ershi: Mr ... Mr ... teacher, it's ... actually, I ... I ... I'm telling you ... you ... you say ... it's ... it's the same for ... it's the same (di)!

Miss Liu: (a little silly) Oh!

Miss Liu: (wakes up) What's your name? (Looking at Beidaihe)

Beidaihe: (coldly) Teacher, my name is Bei and my name is Beidaihe!

Yang Jingze: (looking back) Oh, my God, is that a name?

Beidaihe: (staring at Yang Jingze savagely) What name is it if it's not a person's name?

Teacher Liu: (to Yang Jingze) Don't make fun of others! ... come on, the classmate in the back!

Fan Si: (Throwing the drawing board backwards, standing up and whispering) Oh, teacher, my name is Fan Si!

Miss Liu: You are so gentle. Please sit down!

Liu Mang: (stands up) Teacher, I told you!

Vance: (Stops up to stop Liu Mang) What are you talking about?

Liu Mang: (looking at Vance) Tell me about yourself!

Fan Si: What did you say about introducing yourself? As soon as you say it, Uncle Shoushou will come later!

Teacher Liu: (wondering) What uncle (Shoushou)?

Fan Si: Uncle Shoushou!

Miss Liu: (surprised) And you are?

Liu Mang: I'm Liu Mang (making a fist salute).

Miss Liu: Ah! (dizzy, little pudding holds the teacher)

Vance: Didn't you say Ang?

Liu Mang: I said, what's wrong? The students didn't faint, and Uncle Shoushou didn't come …

Fan Si: The students didn't feel dizzy, and Uncle Shoushou didn't come, but the teacher … didn't!

Liu Mang: The teacher has left. Go find him!

(Liu Mang and Vance imitate monkeys and look around)

Yang Jingze: (stands up and hums the opening song of Journey to the West) Oh, my God, let's play Journey to the West!

(The teacher stands up)

Fan Si: Hey, the teacher is in Nani! (Pointing to Liu Mang)

Liu Mang: Ha, Miss Ang, your eyes are not good!

Vance: (with a little contempt) Cut!

Miss Liu: Sit down, two students! Alas, the behavior of the students really conforms to the style of our art students! I hope everyone will live in harmony in the future, study hard and build an excellent class group. What did you say?/Sorry?

All students: OK!

Miss Liu: We are ...

Liu Mang: (stands up and makes a V-shaped gesture of victory) 9 18!

(Others look at Liu Mang in surprise) Say in unison: Huh?

Fan Si: (stands up, reaches out his thumb and forefinger to make a figure-of-eight gesture, and holds his chin) It's August 19th!

Everyone: Oh!

(End of sketch, curtain call! )

Hope to adopt, thank you.