Leaders say that we are proud every day, why do they always disrespect us?

Not long ago, Xiaomei attended a company dinner that was hard to refuse. During the dinner, the leader invited Xiaomei to drink, and Xiaomei replaced the wine with tea. "Leader, I don't drink." Xiao Zhang, a colleague next to him, said strangely, "Xiaomei, why can't you drink?"

The leader looked at Xiao Zhang, slipped a popular joke "Beauty can't drink, see who she drinks with", and then turned to Xiaomei and said "If you don't drink today, you just won't give me face".

Do we often encounter this kind of scene?

If we want to select "the most annoying wine field culture", it is estimated that the culture of persuading and forcing wine will rank first. Most people in the workplace, especially female employees, will always meet people who strongly advise you to drink in the wine shop and kidnap you with "face" at every turn. If you don't drink, you'll lose my face. If you don't drink, you'll look down on me. So, how to deal with high emotional intelligence?

Netizens have many answers about how to insist on "no face if you don't drink". Different people have different opinions. If it is between friends and acquaintances, no problem. The situation will be more complicated if the leaders persuade the wine in this way.

We take part in dinners and wine fields between friends, and when the wine is full, we toast each other, which is prone to the scene of "persuading wine". When someone tells you that "you will lose face if you don't drink" and "you will look down on me if you don't drink", they kidnap you with "face" and "human feelings". Because there is no fundamental conflict of interest, you can give him face, and it doesn't matter if you don't give it. Be polite, just find an excuse like "taking medicine, driving, having a baby" and refuse. You're welcome. Just say, "How much is your face worth?" If it's a big deal, friends won't do it.

However, when the leader tried to persuade the wine, it was really impossible to go back so abruptly. Mature people in the workplace must stick to the bottom line of "not tearing their faces on the spot". Everyone is making a living, so there is no need to turn against each other on the spot, because a glass of wine is totally unnecessary. It is better to "kick a wall" when you are torn down in the workplace, and it is better to have one enemy less.

So, how to deal with this forced persuasion with high emotional intelligence?

First analyze why leaders like to persuade (force) others to drink so much.

Practically speaking, most leaders still pay attention to discretion, and generally don't say things like "if you don't drink, you will lose face". Because this is not to save face, but to lose face. However, there will always be such unreasonable leaders in the wine field. They mainly have the following mentality:

The first is the mentality of oppressing the people by force. A table of people came to propose a toast to me. You don't respect me, do you? Are you not satisfied with me? Then, I have to settle you down and subdue you The leader forced you to drink just to see you give in to him. I just like to see you bow your head if you are not convinced.

The second is the overbearing attitude. Some leaders are usually arrogant and uncompromising, and even in the wine industry, they maintain the mentality of conquering others. If I buy you a drink, you must drink, otherwise, I will lose face in front of everyone. This kind of leader is overbearing when he talks like this, and forcing you to drink with this kind of words is really a portrayal of his true mentality.

The third is not confident. Find a confident attitude. Some leaders are not confident about the relationship between superiors and subordinates and the workplace, and they are also worried that others will not give him face. Therefore, he will find confidence when drinking. If you don't drink, you will look down on me. The psychological root is that you are really afraid that you will look down on him. So if you don't drink, he really hates you.

The fourth is simply to persuade wine. Some leaders are so angry that they can drink at the wine field that they want to persuade others to drink. Anything can be done to persuade people to drink. Of course, the biggest problem is "human" kidnapping. If you don't drink, you will lose my face. If you don't drink, you will look down on me. Nothing special, just a big move to persuade wine.

The fifth is awkward bad mentality. There is a person who is crazy about drinking. He doesn't drink enough himself and likes to provoke others. Especially those leaders who like to drink other people's wine just want to watch other people's jokes, watch others pull a long face and insist on drinking, and even want to get drunk and watch other people's jokes.

Second, grasp the bottom line, it is unkind for anyone to force you to drink like this.

Which of the five mentalities analyzed above is out of kindness? None of them are well-meaning. Wine is a good thing for people who like to drink. For those who don't like it, it is poison. If you don't want to drink, forcing you to drink is not the same as filling you with poison. Decent and kind people don't force others to do things they don't want to do.

As long as you master this bottom line, will you still struggle? You have to understand in your heart that you made me drink. Is this giving me face? Do you think highly of me and force me to make a fool of myself when I know I can't drink? I really can't drink, but I must be out of danger. Is this really good for me? So, don't worry, you can't spoil them, but considering that he is a leader, not throwing wine in his face in public is to give him face.

Several ways of decline and leadership routines;

One is "I'm driving". This is the most careless statement at present. The leader must be very jealous of you. "You are hiding on purpose! You must drink it today. I'll call a driver for you. "

The second is "I don't feel comfortable drinking." Leaders have plenty of ways to tell you, "You are allergic to drinking. Is it not difficult for me to drink? Your body is fleshy, so my body is not fleshy? "

The third is "I am allergic to drinking". Some people even show their bellies to their leaders. You see, I turn red all over when I drink. The leader asks you: "Can you die after drinking this cup of wine? For the benefit of the company, you lay down your life to accompany the gentleman. "

Anyway, at present, these three main excuses will basically be replaced by leaders, leaving you speechless.

Three ultimate tricks, high emotional intelligence reaction is intrinsically safe.

The leader told you that if you don't drink, I will lose face. You don't want to drink, but you can't force the leader. Is there an intrinsically safe conversation? As long as you are willing to say, the leader can only swallow back what you said.

One is "I ate cephalosporin". If you don't want to drink, you can eat a plate of cephalosporin in advance. When the leader forces you to drink, you take out the pills and smile at the leader. "Leadership, I especially want to propose a toast to you, but I'm a little inflamed. I just took cephalosporin. " Eating cephalosporin and drinking is life-threatening, and the leader can only give up.

The second is "I'm going to have a baby". Can young people say that, and can middle-aged people say that? Of course, you can say this at any age after releasing your second child. "Leadership, I really propose a toast to you, but I'm going to have a baby. For the hope project, I want to replace wine with tea. "

The third is "I was bitten by a dog". Nowadays, many families keep pets, and when the leader forces you to drink them, you roll up your sleeves and show them to the leader. "Leader, I really want to propose a toast to you, but my dog bit me the day before yesterday and just got an injection." Some people will ask, after ten days, you must drink it. Nothing. Next time you say, "Unfortunately, the leader was scratched by my damn cat again yesterday."

The above three words can basically cope with most leaders, but you can still crack your big move when you encounter a master who is dead-bound. Is there an ultimate trick to ensure intrinsic safety?

In wine fields, there are two kinds of drinking, drinking and not drinking. As long as you can drink, even if you can only drink one or two cups, any excuse can be cracked by others. Put yourself in others' shoes. As long as you drink, you can drink with others. Why not drink with me? You don't drink with me. It's a disgrace to me. Because, you are a snob watching others cook.

The intrinsically safe way is to set a label that never drinks. Usually with friends and relatives, drink a little wine to help entertain, but don't expose yourself drinking with colleagues. As long as you establish a teetotaler image at the dinner table, this is an essential and safe way to stop being advised to drink.

Finally, I want to add a situation. What should I do if I meet the kind of persuasion from the leader? This kind of person is a "villain", and you don't care about the face of a malicious "villain" at all. Simply say, "I don't drink, I lose face." If you force me to drink, I will lose face. We are even. " . If the other person is still clinging, you can use your unique skill again. "There are many people who lose face. Who are you? " Turn your face, turn your face, such a person is not worthy to be a man, let the villain be hit in the face on the spot, and the price will drop.