Do you know when it’s the hardest time?

One of the biggest problems for adults is that when they encounter something unhappy outside that cannot be resolved quickly, it is easy to bring this emotion home and vent it on the people closest to them.

I hate my parents, I am impatient with my lover, and I am harsh on my children.

Most of the time this kind of venting is not intentional, but it comes very naturally and the damage caused is real.

There are a lot of people in this world who do nothing every day to make others feel better. This proportion is really not small, and it is difficult to prevent them. You will find that you can't avoid it even with great efforts, and you can't even make it less likely.

But no matter how wronged you are - sometimes you are really depressed and wronged - you have indeed done bad things by imposing emotions that do not belong to others.

It’s not easy for you, and everyone has their own worries, the elderly, the children, your spouse, which one is easier? Why do you have to be someone else's trouble?

I once had a very unhappy life for a long time. I understand the hurt of this emotion, and I have spent a lot of effort trying to control it, but it is really difficult.

Later, when I got older, I found a psychological adjustment method for myself:

When others make me angry and I have to endure it, then I will do it to make others angry. Happy things. For example, if you buy small gifts or delicious food for your family after get off work, say nice words to praise others, and tell jokes to make people laugh, you may not have really adjusted your emotions when doing this. It doesn't matter. You tell yourself that you must do this, and When you do something that makes people happy, you will find that you are likely to receive words and smiles that will help you heal and recover.

When you are angry more, there will be more joy around you.

In this process, you can also be more convinced that your value, your efforts, your source of happiness, the goals you pursue, including the grievances you endure, are all In order to make the people you love happy, rather than turning your grievances onto them to cause trouble. That would really be a waste of suffering.

Making others happy is an area that I can control. I will regard being able to cut off bad emotions in my hands as an achievement and as the ability to fight against the fucked up people and things in this world. And a way to save yourself.

Of course, it is difficult to cultivate this habit, but I think it is worth spending some energy and thought on these things.