Do you have any jokes? Don't laugh at jokes. The funnier the better. I'll adopt whoever is the funniest.

A classic slip of the tongue, I went to buy breakfast. When I was waiting in line, I found that my usually unsmiling boss was also waiting in line, so I was very nervous. After greeting, I said to the chef, "Master, please have a steamed stuffed bun and two breasts!" ..... For the first time in two years, I heard my boss laugh so loudly. When I went to buy watermelon that day, I heard someone asking the melon seller: Does your watermelon have skin? The political teacher once said in a lecture, "Let me give an example." Then he thought it was wrong and said, "Take an example." In my junior year, my classmate went to work in a shopping mall selling fish. The guest took the selected fish, and my classmate gently pointed to the fish killing platform and said to him, "If you go there, someone will kill you." ..... Tigers don't send cats, you think I'm dying! Me: "That's our physics teacher …" Classmate: "What does he teach?" Me: "Chemistry ..." One day when I was at school, a phone call came for me, and my classmate handed it to me and said, "Your mother wants you." As soon as I answered the phone, I casually said, "men and women". Everyone laughed wildly. I was laughed at for 4 years ... Once my classmate's mother called me, I used to say "he is not here", but this time I wanted to say "he has gone out". The result is: "He's gone ..." There is another one. In junior high school, we used an electric bell to ring the bell after class. Once, just after class, the bell was ringing and the teacher was still there. Suddenly, a boy who was sleeping in class suddenly bounced up from his seat and screamed, "Mom! Get up and cook! I should go to class! " ..... My colleague argued with someone and opened his mouth in a hurry: "Do you think I grew up eating?" I've always wondered what he grew up eating. In the computer class, a classmate had a problem with the machine, so he shouted, "Boss, change the machine!" " The whole class is stupefied. People used to visit my aunt's house, and they just came in. It happened that my aunt had to go to the bathroom. She quickly greeted the guests and said, "Sit down, sit down, I'll go to the toilet and pour you some tea!" " I met a girl I've been longing for for for a long time coming out of the bathhouse, trying to get close, and for a long time, I said, "You take a shower, are there many men in it?" A teacher played mahjong all night, and when he saw that the blackboard had not been wiped, he was furious: "Who is the farmer today?" Don't wipe the blackboard! " My friend's child is half a year old, so he called to care. After a few commonplaces, he said, "Does your child eat human milk or your milk now?" ..... It's really a good donkey as a heart and lung ... Politics class talks about political issues between China and Japan, and talks about Japanese samurai committing suicide by caesarean section. The teacher said, "Japanese samurai all have caesarean sections before they die!" " ..... once I called a customer named Wang, and the switchboard was answered by a MM with a sweet voice. She told me his extension number. I didn't know if the Wang I was looking for was a man or a woman, so I asked by the way, "Is he a man or a woman?" ..... Yesterday, someone said that he would introduce me to a girlfriend. I wanted to ask "Is it beautiful?" The result said: "Is it cheap?" . Sweating myself to death ... Senior sister in college, attending educational psychology, being late ... walked into the classroom and glanced sideways at the blackboard. The old professor was angry and asked the teacher elder sister to answer the questions on the blackboard. The senior sister faltered for a long time and said, "Sexiness and Sex Theory", which is too difficult to talk about. " The whole class went haywire. The original title of the professor was "On Reason and Perception" ... When I was in college, a teacher gave a lecture and talked about a new type of material, saying, "The sexual function of this material is incomparable with that of the old material ... Oh, no, the performance and function ..." My parents quarreled, and my father said angrily, "I'll get you out!" One of our colleagues is away on business, so the dealer invites us to dinner. If you want to urinate during dinner, the dealer said there is a bathroom opposite. If you go, you can tell the door that we are eating opposite, so it will be free. In order to save twenty cents, our colleague went straight ahead and confidently said to the toilet manager, "I'm here for dinner!" " Drink with the leaders and others, raise your glasses and loudly say, "Let's die together!" At that time, my brain was too hot ... My classmate named Yu Jingbo wrote a letter one day, and the dormitory doorman shouted at the entrance of the dormitory: "Dry cold skin, dry cold skin letter!" Going back to the dormitory after self-study in the evening, Lu Yu followed her one day, always trying to strike up a conversation, but she didn't have the guts to go forward, until Fairy mm was about to walk into the girls' building, and she bit her teeth and stepped forward and asked the mm loudly, "Classmate, are you a woman?" Later ... Later, I enjoyed the white eyes of the fairy mm for two years. When I was a child, my father watched me write a composition. There was a simple mistake in writing. My father smiled and said to my mother, "I found your son very stupid." I was in a hurry and loudly said to my dad, "Your son is stupid!" My surname is Zhu, and I manage the computer room of the unit. Someone once called my mobile phone: "Chief Chicken, are you in the pig house?" At that time, I yelled at that guy. When I first entered school, the whole class introduced themselves. A male student stepped onto the platform: "My name is You Yong, and I'm from Beijing. I love playing chess!" After that, I went down. The next girl walked shyly to the podium and introduced herself nervously: "I ... my name is Shakuyaku ... I like swimming ..." Mr. Huang loves the revolution. In memory of the Red Army, he named his son "Jun". One day, he sent his son to class and saw the No.8 bus stop, so he shouted at his son: "Run Huang Jun, the No.8 bus is coming!" Xiao Wang worked in the personnel department on the 1th floor, and was transferred to the administrative department on the 9th floor a month ago. Today, Xiao Wang called the personnel department to find him: "Is Xiao Wang there?" The colleague who answered the phone said, "Xiao Wang is no longer in the personnel." Xiao Wang: "Ah? ! When did this happen? Why didn't I know? I haven't had time to send him off yet? " "It doesn't matter, you can go down to find him ..."

Excerpted from: Baidu Know: @1988Michael answered the question.