What's my brother kidding?

There are many versions of cross talk, and many famous cross talk artists, such as Ma, have said this cross talk.

I'm talking about the Qing Dynasty today. It happened in Jining, Shandong. There is such a rich man whose family has four sons. Although they were born to a mother, these four boys have different tempers. The eldest is honest, the second is honest, and the third is the only one. The more treacherous the better, the smoother the better, and don't eat at all. People who make friends don't pay him. What a magnetic rooster, iron crane, glass mouse and glass cat-they don't pull a hair! This old four is not only honest but also quiet. He doesn't like the behavior of his third child. He can still answer a few words when others talk to him. The third child asked him anything, and he either hummed or ha, and never said much.

After a long time, the two became more enemies, and the third called the fourth a fool. When I was a child, I studied together, but when I grew up, I couldn't get a piece.

This year happens to be a big year, and I have to go to Beijing to catch the exam. The old rich man chose a good day and told his four only sons to set out. Last night, the third child stayed up all night. He thought to himself: you can't take a fool, and you can't ask him to go! The next day I discussed it with my two brothers. "Big brother and second brother, go to Beijing to catch the exam, let's not take fourth brother!"

The boss listened: "Why?" The third said, "He has no knowledge, and he won't win there!" " ""You don't care about him. If you can't come back, it didn't cost you money. If you want to go, all four of you will go, or you won't go! "

The eldest brother and the second brother are connected, and no one agrees with his idea. His arm can't twist his thigh. What shall we do? Hold back the bad idea again.

He thought of another way. When they left home, the two old people were sent out. The four brothers were just about to leave when the third stopped them: "Hey, big brother, second brother, let's go?"

The boss said, "What else?" "What are we going to do in Beijing?" "Catch the exam." "What are you doing in the examination room?" "Make a fuss." "Still. Don't learn how to make a fuss! " "What do you say?" "I said, we'll write a poem and ask my parents to listen to it. Four people each have a sentence. Who can say that they will go to Beijing together? If you can't write poetry, then don't go! " The third thought that the fourth was a fool, so he was not allowed to go. The old rich man didn't know what was going on, so he quickly said, "Yes, yes! You write a poem, the title is to go to Beijing to catch the exam. " As soon as the old man speaks, the boss can't help it. Do it. I said, "Go out and cross the carved saddle." The second child said, "Get on the horse and whip." Hearing this, the third child asked, "Who will win this trip?" Old four said, "Hey!" Hearing this, the third child said, "Say it!" "it's over." "How can you say a word?" The boss said, "One word can control our fifteen words." The third said, "Is that all right?" "Who cares! Go out across the carved saddle, get on the horse and whip. You ask,' Who will win here'? He said, "plunge". Yes, that's him. Go! " Hurry up, let's go. The third child got off to a bad start and was rejected. The four boys were walking forward when they saw a funeral home. When the third child saw it, he tightened the reins and said, "Woo!" Stop. "Eldest brother, second brother, there is a funeral in front, carrying a coffin, let's take this as the topic, every word, make a poem. How about it? " The boss said, "All right. Listen to me: I met someone who bit when I left the village. " The second child said, "Everybody, Qi Xin, work together to lift it." The third said, "Just send it to the grave." Old four said, "Bury!" "Say it!" "it's over." "Eldest brother, why did he say something about me again?" "Yes, the coffin is in the cemetery, not buried! What about you? Let it go, don't bury it? " The boss said, "Don't you just leave after you bury it?" "Yes, go!"

As soon as I left the village, I met a bride-to-be, with a flag gong umbrella fan in front and a sedan chair behind. The third child pulled the reins: "Whoo!" "Eldest brother, second brother, look at this wife." The boss said: "Take this as the topic, each person has a sentence and a poem." The third said, "Good. It depends on your idea. " The boss said, "Nonsense! You have to say it if I don't say it. Well, I said, I looked up and saw a sedan chair. " The second child said, "The gong in front clears the way." The third child said, "Relatives and friends are happy." Old four said, "Laugh." "Finished again? Hey, one more sentence? " The boss said, "Yes, why don't you cry when you marry your daughter-in-law?"? Stop talking nonsense and go! " "Ah, go to-"old this gas!

Go further and see an ancient temple in the distance. The third bridle: "Hey! Big brother, second brother, look at this temple. " "Get off my back. Ladies and gentlemen, let me say first: I saw a monk in the ancient temple. " The second pointed to the bell tower and said, "There is a bell hanging upside down." The third said, "I called 108 times in a row." The fourth said, "Hum-"The third said, "Another word!" The boss said, "Yes, isn't it" hum "when the bell rings? Don't say 108 times, even 2 16 times is a' buzzing' sound. " The third child said, "Oh, he is still humming.". Go! "

The birds have returned to their nests, and the sun is setting in the west. They came to a county town and headed for the moat. There is a bridge, which is a wooden bridge. A blind gentleman tried to cross the bridge with a horse pole. This bridge is too narrow to cross. The third child said, "Mr. Wrong has crossed the bridge. Let's sing another song." The boss said, "There is a wooden bridge over the river." The second child said, "Swing here and there." The third child said, "The gentleman who admits his mistake dares not pass." "around!" The third said, "Hey, let's go around!" Entering the city, there is an inn on Cross Street. The white wall at the gate reads "Anyu Merchants" and on the other side reads "Official Taiwan". The third said, "Don't go, let's stay in a hotel."

The shop settled them in the room upstairs. I haven't eaten. I just ordered a little. After dinner, the boss said, "Go to bed early, and you have to hurry tomorrow morning!" " "The old man didn't sleep all night, he can't sleep! I thought to myself: this fool has been saying a word, and Big Brother insists that he is right. How irritating! If I get to Beijing, my stomach won't split in two! Just think of an idea and send the fool back. He thought about it and came up with a way. Look at the weather the next morning, hey! Everyone waits for no one, but it rains every day. Old three is happy! Immediately call the clerk in the shop: "Go and buy me something, two pounds of mutton and a half, three pounds of noodles, two zucchini, onions, garlic, oil and salt, firewood and water. This is two taels of silver and the rest is yours. " "yes. "In a short time to buy back. Ask the waiter to help me chop meat, mix stuffing and mix noodles. Call the three brothers: "eldest brother, second brother, fourth brother, it's getting late, get up!" "The boss rubbed his eyelids:" OK, OK, let's pack our bags quickly. "

The third said, "I can't go, it's raining outside!" " Big Brother and Second Brother, it's cloudy today. Let's eat jiaozi. The boss said, "That's too much trouble! "The third said," Don't bother, the stuffing is mixed and the noodles are ready. I also gave you two pieces of silver for shopping, so I won't ask you for it! " "The boss thought: He is not so kind at ordinary times. What happened today? ! Boss, I wonder if he's hungry, old four! The three brothers washed their faces and rinsed their mouths. The third said, "Eldest brother, second brother and fourth brother, we are the young masters of the family. We have tea and rice. Now, on the way to the exam, I have to eat and do it myself. My idea is to eat rice, drink water and drink soup. Now all that's left is to pick up medicine, roll skin, wrap, cook, fish and light a fire, and the four of us will work together. Brother, what do you want? " The boss said, "I'll get the medicine." The second child said, "I'll roll, I'll pack." The third said, "I cook and I fish-where is the fourth one?" "Eat!" "What to eat? One more sentence! "

The third son said to himself, it's strange that I let you eat! As the saying goes, "Many hands make light work". After a while, jiaozi got well, fished out the two big pots, arranged chopsticks and plates, and occupied each side of the table. The boss said, "Oh, I'm really hungry. I can eat first. " End with chopsticks. The third said, "Wait a minute. I can't eat this jiaozi for free! " Boss thinks I know you're not that kind! "Just two taels of silver, I'll give it!" "No," said the third. You think wrong. I not only gave the money, but also ate jiaozi every day from today until Beijing. I also tell you that I pay for it every day. But in one section, I have one condition. "The boss asked," what conditions? "

"From today on, we have to eat, drink, sleep, sit, lie and walk, and we have to write poems. Old four, you can understand that we are writing limerick, and the meter is not limited, and the number of words is casual, as long as it rhymes. " The boss said, "Is four words ok?" The second child said, "Five words will do. As long as it rhymes, I say six words and you say two words, as long as they are right. " "Yes, that's what it means." The boss said, "I'll go first." The third said, "Don't be busy, I'm not finished yet. Listen carefully: there are not many words in writing poems, but there are restrictions in my essays. We are responsible for a jiaozi with one word. For example, eldest brother says seven words, eats seven jiaozi, second brother says five words and eats five jiaozi. Understand? Go! " The boss really understood: this is a hungry old four! Together, he said a word, and now it is a word, a jiaozi. That won't make him hungry! The boss took out the style of being a brother: "I said we eat? Still making trouble? ! What kind of poems do you write? Don't write, eat! " The third child was anxious: "If you don't write poetry, no one will eat it. I can strike the table! " "The second child said," Brother, just say it. "The boss said," what did I say? ! Old four, big guy, can a jiaozi drink? "The second child said," Brother, don't worry, don't we just talk more? "? We have enough left for him to eat. "The boss said," What's the topic? " The third said, "Whatever." The boss looked up and saw a swallow nest on the beam. Yes, let's take this as the topic and say, "The bird's nest on Liang's head is a big bird's nest-seven words, I will dial seven jiaozi to eat."

The third said, "Don't move! I am coming! " He picked up a small dish and chopsticks and handed it out: "Liang, Tou, Yan, Wo, Da, Yan and Lei, hey, eat these seven." The second child looks at it: Dig by the word! I said, "The swallow can't fly until it has feathers. Xiaoyan can't fly without feathers, can she? Seven words, I dial it myself! " A bowl of seven jiaozi were all smashed by chopsticks: "I eat! I eat! I eat! " The third child said, "Second brother, how to eat it when it is mashed?" The second child said, "Leave it alone!" Scoop a little soup with a spoon. "I am a piece of soup and a ball. Do you care? " Cut the crap, it's your turn! The third thought: the eldest brother said that the liangtouyan has a big nest, and the second brother said that the swallow can only fly if it has feathers. If I say that the swallow will go back to the nest after feeding, the fourth brother will definitely guarantee a "hello".

Hey, just let him eat a jiaozi, yes! "Dayan back to the nest for food. Old four, you say, you are quick to say! " Old four, hello is on my lips. Let the boss cover his mouth! "Really say hello?" Old four said, "The geese are back from hunting, so you should feed them!" "The boss said," hi! Why hello? You said' feed in the nest', but you still eat four. "Feed it later" and eat three; Feed first',' feed later', eat two! The third said, "Brother, why are you in such a hurry?" "Old four said," Big brother, how much do you say to eat? " The boss said, "Wow, why don't you understand? One word controls a jiaozi, the more the better. The fourth brother said, "Third brother, help me count!" The third said, "All right, you go." Old four said, "Xiaoyan is looking forward to Dayan's return. "

Hearing this, Lao San almost didn't make Xiao Bian angry. He said a word all the way from home. This time, one word governs a jiaozi, and he hasn't said a word less! "Good, you also come to seven!" Old four rolled his eyes: "Why do I only eat seven jiaozi? This is the beginning, and there are many more! " "What else?" "Three elder brother, you can count slowly, but you can count very accurately. I can say: Xiaoyan expects Dayan to return. In the morning, the geese walked out of the nest, spread their wings, waved their feathers and flew forward. Fly over Cebu Temple in front of the mountain, and fly over Li Lingbei behind the ridge. Su Wu Temple is full of incense, before the north wind blows Li Lingbei. Loyal ministers, traitors and sages have no time to read them, and they are like arrows. Just before the big day, Xiaoyan smiled as soon as she saw the door of the bird's nest. Call your mother when you open your mouth. You are always worried about your son. One day, when the mother is old, the child will come back to feed and repay her kindness. I was very happy to hear it before, so I quickly fed my son. This feed, that feed, that feed, after that feed ... "The third child said," Stop feeding, jiaozi is all yours! "