Classic humorous jokes short

Classic humorous jokes are short

Classic humorous jokes are short. Often telling some jokes in life can make your life more interesting. There are many humorous ones on the Internet or in books. Jokes, these jokes can bring happiness to people, the following are short classic humorous jokes. Short classic humorous jokes 1

1. One day, you will understand that you have to digest your grievances by yourself. You don’t need to tell your story to everyone. There are not many people who really understand you. Most people just They will stand in their own position and peek at your jokes. All you can do is hide your grievances and become stronger and stronger step by step.

2. If you have nothing to do, please give me a call. "Hello, how can I help you?" "Brother," what should I do if my phone card is lost?" "Hello, sir. "Brother, can you go to the business hall to get your card reissued? ""..."

3. The weather is so cold that it feels like nonsense.

4. Don’t tell others about your sufferings. If you tell others, it will just be a joke.

5. At night, with the bright moon, I miss you so much. When the lanterns first come on, I think of you again. Letters and words are sent to you, expressing my true feelings. I hope you know that in this way On the night, there is another one I have been thinking about you.

6. While we are still young, we should take more steps and enjoy the scenery along the way. Don’t rush to reach the destination and miss the warm people and things in the passing years; while we are still young, talk more. Romantic words, do more childish things, don't miss the best moments and occasions in life because of others' jokes; while we are still young, shorten the distance and extend the time. While we are still young, do more of whatever we want to do.

7. A man was walking his dog and peeling an orange. Unexpectedly, he lost his grip and one piece fell to the ground. The person behind me blamed him: This dog is so uncivilized, how could he poop in the street?

8. When you reach middle age, comfort others, be considerate of yourself, be tolerant, rest more, stay up less late, be kind to yourself, don’t let your family worry, don’t let outsiders laugh.

9. Let’s all jump off the building. Jumping off the building is my favorite!

10. Miss Qiu told a joke, and Daozi bent over with laughter.

11. Egg pain is a sunny attitude.

12. When you are tired from playing, when you want to cry, when you are vulnerable, if you still remember my number, you can call me. My jokes may not be funny, and my routines are not sexy enough. , but I promise, I will be with you.

13. Later, the love words you said turned into jokes over time.

14. I bothered you before, but I won’t in the future. Just pretend that the wind has not blown, you have never been, and I have never loved you. Regarding the fact that I like you, just treat it as a joke.

15. My sister-in-law went on her honeymoon after her wedding. When she came back from the honeymoon, she was unhappy. I asked her: "What happened?" She endured it for a long time and said: "Brother-in-law, your car is better." It was spacious, and his car was too small, and it was not comfortable at all. "

16. When I was eating in the canteen, I was very excited to find a piece of braised pork in the meal, but it had a lot of hair on it. So I spent two hours plucking it, and when I ate it I found it was a piece of ginger.

17. My brother actually fell in love with my best friend, one biological brother and one best friend. Of course I tried my best to match them up. Yesterday, my best friend celebrated her birthday, and my brother and she stayed away all night. When I saw my brother the next day, I laughed and asked: How is the situation? My brother looked at me in confusion: Sister, this friend of yours was smuggled here, right? Looking at his wet hair, I seemed to understand something

18. The part that is now inaccessible will eventually be told as a joke.

19. Changing his long hair into short hair and promising to start over from scratch turned out to be just a joke he made to himself in front of his deep love for her.

20. A lazy cat pursued a mouse crazily and finally got married. After the marriage, the cat protected the mouse in every possible way. The mouse quickly became fat. The mouse was very moved and asked the lazy cat: "Dear, why?" You're so good to me!" The cat chuckled and said, "You'll know when you get fatter."

21. Put away your cowardice and show off your domineering attitude. Don't be afraid when you fall. There are so many people helping you that they just look at your jokes!

22. I love you, but you regard my love as a joke.

23. Tell more jokes and act in a funny manner. This will make your life easier.

24. What’s the difference between being single and being single if your partner is not me?

25. In fact, you are not a coward, you are his senior.

26. I heard that you were sentenced to life for having a relationship with a girl. You were asked to accompany the girl every day, tell her jokes, buy a house, and turn around. Congratulations, you are a hero and you finally died!

27. The wind has withered the flowers, withered the leaves, and faded the spring color; the moon has become cloudy and sunny, rounded and missing, changing the sky; I have met you, loved you, and given my sincerity. . I am willing to join hands with you and accompany you to the end of the world.

28. It’s not scary if you can’t get it, but it’s a joke if you can’t keep it.

29. People say I have a bad temper. It’s a joke. I’m good-looking and have a good temper, so that’s okay.

30. If you can’t sleep, call me. If you’re sad, ask me to go out with you and go crazy with you. If you’re sad, come to me to complain. If you’re scared, it’s okay. I’m here. If you’re abandoned, think about it. There is someone always behind you to accompany you.

31. I heard that you don’t favor my ancestor? Well, I will go to heaven myself.

32. If you are willing to open my homework layer by layer, you will find that you will be surprised that this page is not written, and that page is not written.

33. The little girl loves to cry. The grandma was impatient because of the noise, so she coaxed her and said: "Good boy, stop crying! When a girl cries, her face will become ugly." So As soon as I said that, the little girl stopped crying, but she looked at her grandma for a long time, and then asked: "Grandma, do you cry often?"

34. I often laugh at those who cry because of love. People who have come back from the dead never thought that they would also become a joke.

35. Sometimes you can’t please someone who doesn’t like you anymore even if you prepare a bunch of jokes.

36. People nowadays, if you tell him the truth, he thinks you are telling lies; if you tell him lies, he thinks you are telling a joke; if you tell him a joke, he actually takes it seriously. .

37. A buddy skipped class and was caught by the teacher. The teacher gave him his cell phone on the spot and asked him to call his mother to come to school... When the call went through, the buddy said pitifully: " Mom, I made a mistake, the teacher asked you to come here!" As a result, a rough female voice came from the phone: No time! Nine tubes...

38. Go to today’s class and sleep like yesterday! Classic humorous jokes in brief 2

Collection of classic humorous text message jokes

1. A soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a landmine during combat? The company commander was very angry: Damn, what can we do? If you step on it, you will be compensated according to the price.

2. I haven’t received your message for a long time, and I feel very sad. When I thought about death, I cut my veins with potato chips, hit my head with tofu, jumped over a building with a parachute, and hung myself with noodles. But if Mo is dead, just treat me to a meal and it will last me to death.

3. A four-year-old boy kissed a three-year-old girl. The girl said to the boy: You must be responsible for me if you kiss me. The boy patted the girl's shoulder maturely and said with a smile: Don't worry, we are not children of one or two years old anymore!

4. In the supermarket, you curiously put your hand under the barcode scanner, and the screen displayed: Pig's trotters, 8 yuan. You thought the machine was broken, so you put your face towards it, and the screen showed: Pork head meat, 5 yuan!

5. Guessing the title of a song when all the pigs in the world are dead! "At least I still have you" by Lin Yilian.

6. The wolf is coming, the pig's nest is in chaos, and the mother pig arranges for the big pig to quickly block the door! Erzhu, go block the window! When she saw the little pig, the mother pig got angry and shouted to the third child, stop reading the text messages! You have a lot of meat, go out and lure the wolf away

7. Don’t get drunk again in the future. What's wrong with me? Still saying it! Yesterday, someone saw you chasing a pig with a wine glass and yelling. Are you a brother? It was my brother who did it!

8. Diary of an official: Get up early in the morning and box; have a meeting in the morning and take a nap; eat at noon and burp; go to work in the afternoon and burp; work overtime in the evening and play cards; have fun in the evening and have sex; go home in the middle of the night and fight .

9. The lazy cat pursued a mouse crazily and finally got married. After the marriage, the cat protected the mouse in every possible way. The mouse quickly became fat. The mouse was very moved: My dear, why are you so nice to me? The cat chuckled and said: You will know when you get a little fatter.

10. Are you working again? I have told you more than once not to work so hard and to take care of your health. But you always say meaningfully: If I don’t roll a few more dung balls while the weather is warm, what will I eat in the winter? !

11. There are some things it’s time for you to know! The sky is used to blow the wind and rain; the earth is used to grow flowers and grass; I am used to prove the greatness of human beings; and you are used to stew vermicelli. !

12. Standing under the tall building, I felt sad in my heart, and my face was wet, with a salty taste. Is it rain or tears? Look up at the sky who is peeing upstairs!

13. If you feel heartbroken, please call me! If you want to talk about love, please press 1, if you want to talk about work, please press 2, if you want to talk about life, please press 3, if you want to introduce someone to me, please press 5, if you want to ask me to eat, please say so, if you want to borrow money from me, please hang up.

14. Have you heard of it? Five hundred times of looking back in the past life are only exchanged for one brush with each other in this life. For close friends like you and me, it seems that we didn’t do anything in our previous lives except to look back!

15. Two counterfeiters accidentally made counterfeit bills with a face value of 15 yuan. They decided to spend them in remote mountainous areas. When they took a 15 yuan bill, they bought 1 yuan of candied haws. , they cried, and the farmer gave them two pieces worth 7 yuan.