Joke, then take off your clothes first ~

Hearing the knock at the door, I asked, "Who is it?" No one answered.

I raised my voice and asked, "Who is it?" Still no one cares about me.

I was a little angry and shouted, "Who!"

I only heard a sister outside the door say angrily, "I didn't knock on your door!" " "

consistent

There is a magical coincidence called "when you pick up your mobile phone after reading a book all day, your mother will find you, and then she will judge that you have been playing with your mobile phone all day"

joke

Diaosi: "Shall I tell you a cold joke?"

Goddess: "Yes, yes!" "

Diaosi: "Then take off your clothes first."

homework

My 6-year-old daughter did her homework, but she couldn't answer several questions in a row. Suddenly, she put down her pen with a bang, and her finger paper turned red. "What a lie!" she roared.

Skin whitening

My friend found a new girlfriend. That's a beautiful one, with extremely white skin.

So everyone booed and said, "Give me a kiss! Kiss one! "

Sorry, man, I kissed that girl on the face.

Then lip prints appeared on the girl's face, and the buddy's mouth turned white.

Take a taxi

Once I went to other provinces on business, I didn't know the way, so I found a taxi and got on the bus and said the address.

The driver gave me a look: "Are you from other places?"

I smiled and replied, "Yes, this is my first time."

Just as I was about to say the second sentence. The driver spoke again: "Here we are, ten dollars!" " "

Cutting and slicing skills (cooking)

I must admit, I have visited so many restaurants, and found that there is no one with more exquisite knife skills than Lanzhou Lamian Noodles: the transparent beef as thin as cicada's wings can't help but make me deep in thought. ...

marry

My ex-girlfriend got married yesterday, and today I saw the state of her hair: five years of long-distance love running is finally over. ...

Bullshit, you and Lao tze just broke up for a year!

divide

The man wanted to break up with his girlfriend, who cried hysterically, "you ungrateful thing!" I'm so kind to you. I'll give you clothes when you're cold, and I'll make you good food when you're hungry. Even if you come back late, I will wait for you to sleep before I dare to wash and rest! "

The man couldn't help saying, "That's because you dare not face me!" " "

Novio

Woman: "I have so many ex-boyfriends that I can play a table of mahjong."

Man: "That's not much, only four."

Woman: "I said mahjong."

to buy a ticket

My friend went to buy a train ticket and bought it for a long time before coming back. I asked him if there were many people queuing to buy tickets. He said there were not many people waiting in line.

Me: "Then why did you come back so long?"

He: "Because there are too many people who don't line up!" " "

encounter

I made an appointment with a female netizen, arrived at the appointed place, and saw that she was exactly the same as the photo. She is a female college student.

Then I'll say hello. She looked at me blankly for a while and said, "Uncle, you need money like this ..."

design

I remember when I was just engaged in the design industry, my predecessors said to me, "If the customer asks you to change the scheme or design, you can say yes, but don't worry, change it slowly. When the customer is in a hurry, your things can be used."

focus one's attention on

Dude, stop licking. That's where you pee. Sister begged in a low voice, but he still went his own way and ignored her. Dude, you can't lick it, it's dirty there! My sister's voice trembled, but he continued to lick intently. Dude, if you lick your parents again, you'll be back! I told my parents! You sue! He glanced back at his sister and continued licking the toilet. .

cause

Today, I heard from my predecessors that sometimes friends suddenly give you the cold shoulder, not because you did something wrong, but because someone spoke ill of you behind your back ... as if it were true!

Harmonious

Harmony is not when 100 people make the same sound, but when 100 people make different sounds, they respect each other at the same time.

take care of

"It's cold, wear more!" Mother shouted after the door.

"It's never too tiring to say it every day." With a snort of impatience, she hurried to the Cultural Palace, took out 500 yuan and bought a ticket for the idol meeting.

After listening to the idol's speech, especially the last sentence, she was moved to tears.

That sentence is: "It's cold, so put on more clothes when you go out."

Make a sentence

Teacher: Who can stop making sentences?

Xiaoming: I can't take a bath without Yuba.