A joke that makes people laugh every second (super funny short joke)

I have four children. They are all very naughty. One day when they came home from work, the children were quarrelling at home. My wife is glad to see me back. He said, "It's great that you finally came back." I am very happy because I think the children are afraid of me. Unexpectedly, the wife went on to say, "Only you listen to me at home, be good!" Go buy me a bag of salt! "

"Why do you want to fight?" Asked the judge. "I was talking calmly with my girlfriend at the phone booth," Xiao Li said. "At this point, the guy came over. He wanted to call, but I wouldn't let him, so he kicked me out of the phone booth ... ""No wonder you lost your temper, "the judge thought for a moment. "That's not all! Xiao Li added, "He also kicked my girlfriend out ..."

My daughter was washing dishes in the kitchen when the telephone rang. She picked up the phone and replied, "Mom may be taking a bath. Please wait for me to have a look. " She reached out and turned on the hot water tap, and there was a scream at once. She turned off the tap and said, "Yes, she is still taking a bath."

It's just a gust of wind, but it's so eternal. It's just a dream, but it's so real. You bow your head and say nothing, I suffer! !

"Well, the supplier's wife who gave me a headache suddenly gave birth to three sons, which deserved it. This time, let him taste what it is like to get more goods at one time than their orders. "

A clerk has not come to work for two days. On the third day, the boss complained, "What have you been doing these two days?" The clerk replied, "I accidentally fell into the street from the third floor window." The boss asked angrily, "Does it take two days to fall from the third floor?"

The manager of the company instructed to put a note in everyone's salary bag: "Your salary is your personal secret, please don't reveal it to anyone." A new employee counted his salary and wrote a sentence at the signature with a frown: "I will never tell anyone, because I am as embarrassed as you to say this income."

A salesman knocked wearily at the restaurant on the corner and asked for a glass of wine. He just took a sip and suddenly froze: "Why, isn't this a cup of boiled water?" "Oh," said the shopkeeper, "Oh, no, I forgot to mix the wine."

A businessman fell in love with a nightclub waitress and hired a private detective to find her whereabouts. The detective handed him an investigation report: This young lady has a great reputation. Her past is flawless. She has many friends who have status in society, but recently she has a close relationship with a businessman with a personality problem, which is the only place where she is discussed.

The hotel manager ordered all the waiters: "Today, be polite and warm to every customer." "What's the matter? Want to come to an important person? " A waiter asked softly, "No," said the manager, "because today's rice is burnt."

1 One day, many people came to seek a position as a cashier in a bank. Unexpectedly, the bank manager hired an ugly man with crooked eyes and crooked nose and ears. Someone asked the manager why he made such a choice. The manager replied with a smile: "Because he has outstanding characteristics, if he absconds with money, it is easy for us to state this on the wanted order."

At a party, Bernard Shaw was absorbed in his thoughts. A rich man sitting next to him couldn't help being curious and asked, "Mr. Bernard Shaw, I'm willing to pay a dollar to know what you are thinking." Bernard Shaw replied, "What I think is really not worth a dollar." The rich man is more curious: "So, what are you thinking?" Bernard Shaw calmly replied, "I was thinking of you!" " "

One day, Bernard Shaw was invited to a charity ball. At the meeting, he invited ordinary female members of a charity to dance. The woman said shyly, "How can you dance with an ordinary person like me?" Bernard Shaw replied, "Isn't this a charity?"

1 Bernard Shaw likes to drive his own car. One day, while driving, he talked with the driver sitting next to him about a newly conceived script. Suddenly, the driver grabbed the steering wheel from the cheerful Bernard Shaw without saying a word. "What's the matter with you?" What happened suddenly surprised the author. "Excuse me," said the driver. "Your script is wonderful. I really don't want you to die before you finish writing. " be just like

1 Hugo wrote Les Miserables and sent the manuscript to a publishing house. The manuscript didn't reply for a long time, so I drew a big "?" On the paper. Sent it to the publisher. Every few days, the publisher wrote back, and Hugo opened it. There was not a word on it, only a word "!" "He knew there was hope. Sure enough, his Les Miserables was published soon and was a great success.

One day, Mark Twain heard many people talking about sleepwalking. One of them is a well-known sleepwalker. Mark Twain said, "I have a cure for sleepwalking." The patient was very happy and begged, "Sir, would you please help me treat it?" Mark Twain said, "That's too simple. Buying a box of thumbtacks and scattering them on the floor beside the bed before going to bed will definitely cure your sleepwalking. " "

Master 1 The thief complained to his apprentice, "You are such an idiot! It took us all night to open all the safes, but they were empty. You didn't tell me until now-this is a factory that makes safe boxes! "

1 When someone was walking, they saw a black object on the ground in front of them. I suspected it was shit, so I went forward and looked, but I didn't feel it. Whether to lie down and observe carefully. I can smell it with my nose, but I'm still not sure. Just buckle a little with your hand and taste it, and think it's really shit. He was overjoyed and said, "Thank God I didn't step on it!" "

1 When someone was walking, they saw a black object on the ground in front of them. I suspected it was shit, so I went forward and looked, but I didn't feel it. Whether to lie down and observe carefully. I can smell it with my nose, but I'm still not sure. Just buckle a little with your hand and taste it, and think it's really shit. He was overjoyed and said, "Thank God I didn't step on it!" "

20. When my son came home from school, he saw his father eating greasy braised elbow with relish as soon as he entered the door. The son couldn't help wondering, "Dad, haven't you been taking diet pills for a week?" What's the matter now ... "Dad licked his lips and interrupted his son:" Silly boy, Dad, if I don't eat this big elbow, I'm afraid I won't lose weight any more. "