A joke with a high point!

A college student was unfortunately caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, "Say, where are you from?" I'll electrocute you if you don't tell me! ! ! "College students replied to the enemy's words and were electrocuted. ...

He said, "I'm from TV University!"

Express the wrong feeling:

Dagang was admitted to the hospital because of liver problems. During lunch break, all the patients in the ward are resting, and only Dagang smokes there. When the nurse who visited the ward came to this ward, she came over and said softly, "Little baby." Dagang smiled and said, "Little baby.

The problem has been solved, and the collection is reproduced in QQ space, begging for laughter. LoL（League of Legends）

30 [tag: no joke, lol] Anonymous answer: 23 Popularity: 23 Analysis time: 2009-04-02 1 1 report.

Satisfied with the first answer: a primary school student participated in the school recitation competition for the first time and was particularly nervous. The teacher encouraged him for a long time, but his palms were still sweating. It's finally her turn. Pupils gritted their teeth and walked a few steps to the center of the stage: "Teachers and classmates, the topic I recited is: Red leaves are crazy (maple leaves are red). Second: I am still a primary school student. I am particularly envious of the students who have been asked by the teacher to read the composition. I always hope that the teacher can let me read it. The opportunity has finally come. " So-and-so, read your composition to everyone! Pupils suddenly stood up: "My teacher". Teacher, how much I look like your mother ... "The third one: I am the host of the song and dance troupe this time, and I am not proficient in learning. Before a performance, the woman was in a hurry. The performance takes turns. It's her turn to announce the curtain call: "Audience friends, let's listen to Du Zi flute ..." Fourth, my family often grows green onions in pots in winter to keep them fresh and tender. My sister saw it when she came home for the New Year and said happily to my mother, "Hey! Mom, that's too bad ... "Mom and I both laughed. Fifth: There is a neighbor named "Auntie" who goes to work by bike every day. I met her at the door early in the morning. I smiled and said politely, "grandma, big class ..." bah! ..... I want to bite off my tongue. Sixth: classmate anonymous, looking at himself one day, suddenly turned to the person behind him and said, "Is my chest hair nice?" "Startled, he said," Oh, I want to ask if my eyebrows are fierce. Seventh, when I was a primary school student, I made up my mind at the general meeting of the whole school: "We should learn from the revolutionary spirit of the Red Army in climbing snow-capped mountains and crossing grasslands. "From then on, I was deprived of the right to political speech for life! Eighth: When I was a child, my father told me that there was a text about Liu Hulan in the Chinese book. When Liu Hulan voluntarily admitted to the Japanese that she was trying to save the life of the whole village, an old man stepped forward to save her. The line is: "Xiao Xiangzi, are you crazy?" ！” But in the era of * * *, a poor rural child read aloud: "Little madman, do you smell good?" "Ninth: In high school, the teacher asked the deskmate to read the text. This girl has always been famous for her vivid reading. On that day, she read aloud with a textbook: ........................................................................................................................... played the national flag and raised the national anthem ... Eleventh: I took my son to feed the ducks. He ran after the duck while scattering bread crumbs, and I ran after him with his apple (he didn't like it, so I had to take a few bites when he was distracted). He kept running, and I kept calling him, "Come and eat an apple and chase the duck!" " "I kept repeating this sentence, and finally I shouted out:" Come and have a bite of duck ... "Then I skillfully stepped on the brakes. Twelfth place: I remember when I was in primary school, there was a text called Waterfall. In the middle, it is said that the author turned a mountain and saw a waterfall hanging in it. When one of my female classmates was reading aloud, she also said with emotion: I was shocked when I climbed over this mountain. There was a rag hanging on the mountain. . . The whole class was stunned. Thirteenth: There is another sentence in a text extracted from a Russian writer's novel: all the houses here belong to the lords (referring to the rich). As a result, one of my male classmates read aloud: All the houses here belong to old men. As soon as the voice fell, our Chinese teacher asked him doubtfully: Where do the old ladies live? Fourteenth: The most classic thing is that I once watched Tao talk about the embarrassing incident when he was the host. He never said that the opening ceremony was a curtain call ... What impressed me most was that he said that when he was hosting a party, he calmly walked up and said affectionately, "Friends, have you seen the Yellow River?" Do you know it is our mother river ~ ~ "After introducing the Yellow River affectionately, he said," Let's listen to the song of the Yangtze River. "Fifteenth, when I was in college, a vain girl showed off to us: I wash my feet with facial cleanser every day (I wash my feet with facial cleanser every day)! Sixteenth: One day, one of my aunts saw that the person walking in front of her dropped a glove, so she quickly shouted: Front, your socks dropped! Having said that, I know I am busy covering my mouth. Answer supplement

Seventeenth: Wash your feet before going to bed at night and tell your husband that he left his socks in the refrigerator. Eighteenth: if the child is disobedient, his mother jumps out and spanks me! ! ! Nineteenth: When I was at home during the winter vacation, my sister asked me to play badminton. I'm in the toilet. My mother came back and saw my sister standing in the yard and said, "Didn't you ask badminton to hit your sister?" My sister and I laughed hysterically for the twentieth time: Li Yu, a classmate of our senior high school class, is from the school radio station and reads the text very well. In geography class, that part of Korean life, when he entered the door, was a fire kang. As a result, he saw that when he entered the door, it was a pit of fire ~ ~ ~ The 21st time: When I was in middle school, my classmates often laughed at me, and I was really angry. I laughed at them and shouted, "What's the big deal! Beauty lies in feathers! The beauty of birds is in the soul! " I suddenly laughed a lot. I often mispronounce this sentence now. 22nd place: I am a middle school teacher. One day, I taught my students to give seats to old people and women with children on the bus. I casually said, "Give your seat to a child with a woman." At the same time, many students who are tired and sleepy in class are full of energy. Twenty-third time: On one occasion, in physical education class, the PE teacher said, "Students listen to my command, raise your hands horizontally and put your feet on your hips." It was too difficult. The students twisted their backs that day. Answer supplement

24th place: When I grow up, I love singing. Once I sang, bold and beautiful sang "Same Water, Same Blood". From then on, my classmates often called me a witch. Twenty-fifth place: A girl is very arrogant in class, chewing gum and shaking her feet outside the table. The teacher couldn't stand it anymore. She walked up to her, slapped the table and shouted loudly, "Spit out your mouth! Put your foot in it! ! "Answer supplement.

Lucky 52' s true joke, it is said that Li Yong laughed himself to death! & gt A couple, guess the name of the food, and the wife signals her husband to guess. The word "steamed bread" pops up on the big screen > wife description: round, white and edible > husband: ... > wife continues to describe: just white and soft. You ate it last night! & gt Husband seemed very anxious and blurted out, "Mimi!" & gt Li Yong laughed my head off ... >> The word "vinegar" popped up on the big screen > Husband: What do women like to eat from men? & gt wife (happily): Tofu! ! & gt& gt female recruit, male guess, the title board is Soong Ching Ling. & gt The woman said: It's a woman, very beautiful, the mother of the country, the dynasty behind the Tang Dynasty > The man blurted out: Song Zu Ying > There was an uproar under the stage! ! ! ! & gt Li Yong said: This joke is too big >> In the guessing session, the painter said: What horse did Guan Yu ride in The Romance of the Three Kingdoms? The person who guesses doesn't know, but he carries the stone more than the person who draws it: think again, this horse has been ridden by Lu Bu. & gt The guesser shouted: It's The Story Of Diu Sim. & gt Bi Hua was furious: You are so stupid. I said riding during the day! & gt Lao Li was laughed to the ground! ! ! ! & gt answer supplement

& gt5. Word guessing show > A couple guesses historical relics, and the wife signals her husband to guess. The word "Diamond Sutra" pops up on the big screen > Wife's description: it has existed since ancient times and is very famous > Husband: ............ > Wife continues to describe: It is a nun who has to read it every month > Husband seems to understand and blurts out: "Menstruation" > Li Yong says: "Oh, my God! Cut the pilot "> >; & gt6, or the couple, guess the name of the item, and the wife gestures to guess the husband. The words "V3 mobile phone" pop up on the big screen. & gt wife's description: There is a pink one, which is the most popular this year. You bought it for me > Husband: ............ > The wife continued to describe: that beautiful woman Sarapova also used it, and it is also my favorite. Throwing caution to the wind, the four-word husband blurted out: "red bra" > unlucky Li Yong laughed again ...

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Professor Euphemism is in an ethics class. He told his classmates how to remind others of some embarrassing things. "For example, if you see a girl with grass clippings on her ass, you should politely say,' Girl, you have grass clippings on your shoulders'. The girl looked down at her shoulder and then-saw it. " At this time, a female student raised her hand and stood up and said, "Professor, the zipper of your tie is not pulled!" " The biology teacher of African wild boar is describing the appearance of African wild boar on the stage with great interest. Occasionally, when her eyes swept across the stage, she found that most students were dozing off. So he was furious and shouted, "Look at me! Don't look at me, how do you know what African wild boar looks like? " A gentleman in the philosophy department graduated from the philosophy department of an auxiliary university. I can't find a job after graduation and have been unemployed at home. One day, a college classmate introduced him to work in Muka Zoo, and he went happily. It turned out that a tiger in the zoo was temporarily ill and was taken to the hospital. He was asked to put on tiger skin for the time being. He thought that no one could tell it was him anyway, so he agreed. After putting on the tiger skin and putting it in the cage, he dutifully walked around pretending to be a tiger. It didn't take long for the cage to open and another tiger came in. He was so scared that he retreated to the corner. The tiger kept approaching him ... When he finally retreated to no way back, the tiger spoke ... "Don't be afraid, man! I am from the philosophy department of National Taiwan University! "