What does it feel like for children to talk back to their parents?

In many families, children talk back. In fact, this is the child's "psychological weaning period". With the expansion of contact and the increase of knowledge, their inner world is enriched, and it is easy to have a "rebellious mentality" towards their parents. They think they have grown up and have different views on society and life from their parents, so they don't want their parents to take care of themselves everywhere, so they always talk back to their parents and wrangle about everything.

The first question we need to be clear about is what is "disobedience" and "talking back".

Because seven or eight-year-old children are gradually strengthening their self-awareness, they begin to look at the outside world more and establish their own age of independent thinking.

It is normal to sometimes resist or raise objections to certain requirements of parents. However, if you say "always disobedient" and "always talk back", we may need to think about it. What is the reason?

Psychologists believe that with the expansion of contact and the increase of knowledge, their inner world is enriched, and it is easy to have a "rebellious mentality" towards their parents. They think they have grown up and have different views on society and life from their parents. They don't want their parents to take care of themselves everywhere, so they always talk back to their parents and argue about everything.

It's very difficult for parents, especially when your demands or fair comments meet with children's reckless contradictions, unhappy faces, silence, glaring, shrugging and other resistance, you will find that you and your children are about to face an explosive quarrel, which neither of you will win. So, how can we reduce the contradiction between children and you?

1, standardize behavior

When you teach children to respect others, they will show willingness. When you belittle your partner, children or friends, these will affect children, and even babies will imitate everything they see. Once your children start talking, you should teach them to say "please", "thank you" and "sorry".

He praised others and listened to others politely. You should praise him in time. And when he tries to control his language in a difficult situation, you should tell him how much you appreciate him.

Step 2 distinguish between talking back

Don't confuse pride with children's healthy will to state their opinions or express their demands, needs and feelings. Be tolerant of the words of children such as "I love soybeans".

If we can give a more generous definition of "talking back", we can effectively prevent children from having differences with their parents. In this way, you may cultivate a particularly polite child-he can control his feelings well and can't stand himself when he makes mistakes. At this time, you should encourage him to express his feelings appropriately.

3. Put yourself in others' shoes

If you can't watch the whole TV series with your child, at least consider your child's feelings from time to time and explain to him why you didn't watch the TV series.

4. Express your position in time

When your child's language and intonation are unacceptable or unbearable, you should immediately give him a clear answer and tell him, "In our family, everyone should be respected. We should never say such things. " Don't exaggerate the facts, make it clear that the object of your condemnation is rude words, not children, and take care of children's face calmly. Sometimes you may deal with problems humorously, such as saying in a teasing tone, "Do you really mean that?" When children begin to talk to people in a polite way, they should be praised and affirmed in time.

Step 5 release your emotions

When children are angry, depressed, disappointed or lonely, they often vent all kinds of complicated emotions without reservation. However, these inner emotions often don't last long, so parents are angry at this time, but there is no need to reprimand him with some angry words.

Instead, you should explain to your child that disrespect for other people's language will make others feel attacked and hurt. You should calmly express to your child the reaction of his words to you. Even if your child is only 3 years old, he will understand when you tell him that he has hurt your feelings.

6. Appropriate punishment

The ideal way to deal with rude behavior is to punish it immediately. For example, if you play ball with your child and the child sarcastically says "Bah" to your skill, you can say "Your behavior is so disappointing to me. Find something else to do yourself. "

In addition, punishing children also includes: doing extra housework, prohibiting watching TV and making friends. Of course, before the punishment is implemented, you can also give your child a choice: "You can apologize to me and do as I ask, or you can stay at home and not go to the movies this afternoon." But don't take measures that hurt too much, because that may cause children's disgust and start to resist. At the same time, don't vaguely warn: "If you say that again, you will really have good fruit to eat." Empty threats will only make children more stubborn, thus increasing their bad habits.

7. Concession rule

Talking back angrily or coldly, children, will only make things worse, because it will lead both sides into a war of words. It took me years to understand. In the past, when children were rude to me, I would say angrily, "Don't talk to me like that!" " "Until one day, my daughter refuted me, and I didn't say anything, because I was too angry to refute. After a while, she apologized to me and explained that the problems she encountered at school were the real reason for her anger. I understand this, and we stand together again.

The answer is not anger, but: "You seem to like arguing and explaining, but I won't do that." When the child's anger subsides, you should let the child tell you the reason why he is angry and help him find a better way to express his feelings.

When confrontation begins to corrode your relationship with your children, it will be harmful. Lead by example, get rid of the antagonistic situation and let the children vent. These methods can communicate in a healthy way, and these methods can also promote the harmonious relationship between each family member.