Is it funny? Haha

1. The teacher yelled at a group of classmates: "Those who haven't done their homework, please stand up!"

As soon as he finished speaking, several people stood up, and the teacher said: Pointing to the door, he continued to curse: "Get out of here!"

A few people walked out silently with their heads lowered. The teacher smiled when he saw this, walked to the toilet, took off his pants and said to himself : "I don't respect the teacher at all. When I see the teacher going to the toilet, I don't know how to give up my seat."

2. I just saw a child eating a lollipop and carrying a schoolbag. He may have to go back. Home. I walked over and asked: "Kid, you're home from school! Are you alone?"

Child: "Yes, my dad didn't come to pick me up today."

Me: "Haha, God help me! Fuck, get the lollipop from your mouth, or I'll beat you."

3. The subway is overcrowded, but those girls would rather stand than Willing to sit in the empty seat next to me. No one came to sit down until I arrived. "Is it because my handsomeness makes them bump into each other and they dare not approach me? Should I wear a mask next time when I go out?"

I reflected while putting on my socks and getting ready to get out of the car.

4. Recently, many people say they want to be friends with rich people. But to be fair, what if you become friends with a wealthy person?

If you are soft-spoken and short-handed, you always take advantage of others, you have to pay the price of dignity, you have to be submissive, you have to be inferior to others.

Can you accept the bargain in this situation? Anyway, I can, rich people, please be my friend. . .

1. I was reading a novel in bed just now, and my mother suddenly opened the door and came in. I looked up and saw her serious face, and I was shocked: "What's wrong, Mom?"

Then Seeing her smiling like a flower, she said mysteriously: "You have three days to get out of here..."

After that, she danced and went to watch TV...Mom, it seems that you You said you fished me out of the river, not just to tease me.

2. I am almost 30 years old and have no partner. My parents have been forcing me to go on a blind date, so I have to obey. However, I have been on blind dates many times, and either I am not attracted to her or they are not attracted to me. . .

Dad got mad: As long as he is not disabled, it’s fine, don’t pick!

My face moved, and my dad said: If you like it, you can be disabled...

3. I am a woman. I used to weigh more than 140 pounds, but now I have lost weight. .

One day I was about to go out and couldn’t find my phone, so I took my dad’s phone to call me. When I called, the words “Big Fat Pig” were displayed on my dad’s phone.

4. Yesterday I went to eat roast duck rice. There was a father and daughter sitting at the next table. The girl was in high school.

As soon as the roast duck rice was served, the uncle kept putting his roast duck on his daughter’s plate and said: Eat more, eat more!

I was moved: What a good Chinese father!

However, the uncle went on to say: Eat more, eat a big fat man, no one will chase you, and you can study hard!

5. Yesterday, I took my son to the park to play. In order to exercise him, I didn’t let him ride in his stroller on the way, but let him push him to the park.

I didn’t expect that he couldn’t hold on after only a few minutes: “Dad, I can’t push anymore, can you let me get in the car?”

I turned around and said, “Keep going I'll be there soon."

The son looked aggrieved: "Can you get out of the car first?"

1. I have been to my boss many times on the bus. The weak, sick and disabled gave up their seats and won the title of one of the top ten most touching drivers in China!

2. I have mastered 36 ways to hide private money, next. . . Only money is missing.

3. Xiaoqian and Xiaobei are a couple. One dark and windy night, they became little darlings...

4. Do you think women nowadays are in love? In ancient times, if you were spotted by the emperor on the street and taken back to bed, would you be judged as a bully or something if you washed your face? ?

5. I just saw a person accidentally fall from the roof of the building, fall to the ground with a thud, and was seriously injured. I feel very sad in my heart. I haven't had time to make a wish yet.

6. A friend is seriously ill and hospitalized. Although he is usually not very popular, many people still come to visit him in the hospital. However, after talking to the attending doctor, all of us were heartbroken. The doctor said that his disease can be cured.

7. Zhang Sanfeng has not come out of seclusion for thirty years and has been diagnosed with severe autism; Zhou Zhiruo worked hard to practice Jiuyin White Bone Claws and finally learned the secret recipe of pickled pepper chicken feet and sold it overseas ; Guo Jing worked hard to practice the Condor Shooting Technique, and Emperor Tian paid off, and the carved brand soap became a household name; Duan Yu worked hard to practice the Six Meridians Divine Sword, and finally it paid off, and Liushen Toilet Water became famous in the international fashion industry.

8. From primary school to junior high school, the Nike logo is always dominant on papers... By high school, whether it is science or mathematics, domestic products like Xtep have overwhelmingly monopolized important subjects such as geometry, algebra, etc. Field...

9. Like, which is basically a cool and proud saying that I like you and does not require your response. Collecting is probably the humble forbearance of loving someone deeply but not wanting to be seen by anyone. Comments are about implicit teasing that I want to talk to you when you have time. Forwarding is probably the naked emotion of loving to the extreme and expressing it bravely.

1. When you have a stomachache and run into the toilet to relax, and you suddenly find that you forgot to bring a book or mobile phone, you will pick up the shower gel and shampoo in the toilet to read their Ingredients, production date, shelf life, etc...

2. Did you know...when your mother calls out your full name loudly, you will be in trouble...

3. Even if you are feeling uncomfortable and someone asks you what's wrong, the only thing that comes out of your mouth is: It's okay.

4. When you put your child to sleep, you are sleepier than the child, but when the child actually falls asleep, you are full of energy and surf the Internet. Are there any parents like this?

5. How many people keep changing their signatures, but actually they just want to make someone feel something?

6. Have you ever plugged in your mobile phone and then left it alone when charging? After charging for a long time, you came over and took a look... Damn it! The power is not on!

7. Now I am struggling with three things every day! The first thing is that I don’t want to sleep at night; the second thing is that I can’t get up in the morning; the third thing is that I regret going to bed too late last night!

8. When I was in college, I saw my senior sister and thought who would want such an old woman.

Now that I am working, I see the female college students who have just been assigned to me. Damn it, how can there be such a pink and tender girl?

9. You don’t have the feeling that sometimes when you stare at a word, the more you look at it, the less it looks like a word, and the more you look at it, the less it looks like a word...