Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - The original of the broken soul gun
The original of the broken soul gun
"Life is a joke, and everything shows it; I used to think so, but now I understand. " Sha Zilong's bodyguard bureau has been changed into an inn. The big dream of the East can't help but wake up. Gunfire silenced tigers in the wild forests of Malaysia and India. Half-awake people rub their eyes and pray for ancestors and gods; Soon, I lost my land, freedom and sovereignty. People with different faces stood outside the door, and the muzzle was still steaming. What's the use of their spears, poison crossbows and thick shields with snake spots? Even the ancestors and the gods they believe in are invalid! China in Qi Long is no longer mysterious. With the train, crossing the grave destroys Feng Shui. Multi-eared purple flag, blue shark scabbard steel knife, ringing horse, wisdom slang in Jianghu, loyalty and fame, and even Sha Zilong, his martial arts and career all became a dream last night. Today is trains, fast guns, trade and terror. It is said that someone will kill the emperor's head!
This is an era when there is no food after parting ways, and martial arts is not advocated by revolutionary parties and educators.
Who doesn't know that Shazilong is short and thin, neat and tough, and his eyes are as bright as big stars on a frosty night? But now he has meat on him. The bodyguard bureau changed the inn. He occupied three northern rooms in the backyard, put a big gun in the corner, and raised some pigeons in the yard. Only in the evening, he closed the door of the yard and became familiar with his "Five Tigers Broken Soul Gun". This gun, this set of guns, was created by him in the northwest for twenty years: the word "Sha Zilong" has never met an opponent. Now, this gun and this set of guns will not add luster to him; Just touching the cold, slippery, hard and trembling pole made him feel less sad. Only when a person picks up a gun at night can he believe that he is still a "magic gun sand" During the day, he doesn't talk much about martial arts and the past; His world was blown away by the wind.
Teenagers who have been practicing under him often come to him. Most of them are underachievers, and they all have some martial arts, but they are useless. Some people go to the temple fair to perform art: kick twice, practice a few tricks, turn a few somersaults, and sell some powerful drugs. Some people really can't afford to be idle, so go get a basket of fruit or pick some edamame and shout it out in the street as soon as possible. At that time, rice was cheap and meat was cheap. If you were willing to sell arms, you would have been confused. They can't do it: they have a big heart and want to take care of things; Dry and hot cakes can't be swallowed. Besides, they often go for a walk: five tigers stick, open the way, too many lions, less lions ... although this is nothing-compared with going their separate ways-they have a chance to walk around and show their faces. Yes, it's a matter of buying face to pay tribute. They dressed up like children. At least they should have a pair of blue crepe pants, a newly bleached blouse and a pair of fish-scale shoes-preferably green satin tiger boots. They are disciples of Sha Zilong, the god gun-although Sha Zilong denies it-and they will have to pay two yuan if they leave, and maybe they will have to fight. If you have no money, ask Mr. Sha for it. Teacher Sha is unambiguous and informal, and will not let them go home empty-handed. But in order to fight or offer skills, ask for advice, or please give me a "son"-what an empty-handed knife or a tiger's head hook gun-Teacher Sha sometimes tells a joke and casually walks over and says, "Teach what? Water it with boiling water! " Sometimes just kick them out. They don't quite understand what happened to Teacher Sha, and they are a little unhappy.
However, they are praising Teacher Sha everywhere. On the one hand, they are willing to let people know that their martial arts are really taught by experts. Secondly, I am excited about Teacher Sha: If someone is not convinced and comes to the teacher, won't the teacher show a hand or two? So: Teacher Sha knocked down a cow with one punch! Teacher Sha kicked people into the room without much effort! None of them has ever seen such a thing, but at a certain moment, they believe it is true, and it is true in one year and one place, and they dare to swear it!
Wang Sansheng-Sha Zilong's big brothers-opened a venue in the Earth Temple and set up all the guys. The last color of tea is full of snuff. He waved some bamboo Strafe to make the venue bigger. Put down the whip, don't bend your head and turn around, and read two sentences: "Kick the hero of the world, the hero of five fists!" " "Glanced around:" folks, Wang Sansheng is not a busker; I know a few tricks. I walked on the northwest road and met my friends in the green forest. I'm free now, so I'll pull a venue to play with you. Come down if you like to practice. Wang Sansheng will make friends with martial arts. It's an honor for me to accompany you. Sha Zilong is my master; Authentic! Ladies and gentlemen, does anyone want to come down? " He looked and knew that no one dared to come down. His words are difficult, but Strafe is even more difficult, weighing 18 Jin.
Wang Sansheng, a big man with a juryman face, looked around with big black eyes. Everybody keep quiet. He took off his coat, tightened his white waist and killed his stomach. Open the palm of your hand a spit, grabbed a broadsword:
"Men, go to SAN-Wang Sheng practice a trip to see. Don't practice in vain. After practice, I'll throw a few with you. Say hello to help refuel if you have no money. There is no business here. Ok, close your eyes! "
The broadsword leans on his body, his eyes are held high, his face is tight, and his chest is bulging like two old birch roots. Stamp a foot, the knife is raised horizontally, and the red tassel swings in front of the shoulder. Chop, squat, flash, blow, and suddenly ring. Suddenly, the knife turned in the right hand and bent down. There was silence all around, only the tassel clock was calling softly. The knife came, slammed into the mud, and stood upright, one head taller than the others, like a black tower. I closed my hand and said, "Everyone!" Looking around with a knife in one hand and her hips in the other. He dropped a few copper coins and nodded. "Gentlemen!"
He waited and waited, but there were still a few bright and thin copper coins on the ground, and the people in the outer layer secretly dispersed. He swallowed: "Nobody understands!" He whispered, but everyone heard him.
"Kung Fu!" An old man with a yellow beard answered in the northwest corner.
"Ah?" Wang Sansheng doesn't seem to understand.
"I said: You have a working husband!" The tone of the old man is very unpopular.
Putting down the broadsword, Wang Sansheng followed everyone's head and looked northwest. No one paid much attention to this old man: Xiao Ganba, wearing a thick blue shirt, a sunken face, deep eyes, a few thin yellow beards on his mouth and a small yellow grass braid on his shoulders, was as thin as chopsticks, but definitely not as straight as chopsticks. Wang Sansheng saw that the old guy had kung fu, bright forehead and bright eyes-deep eyes, which could be as black as two wells and dark. Wang Sansheng is not afraid: he can see whether others have kung fu, but he is more confident in his own ability. He is a general under Sha Zilong.
"Uncle, come down and play!" Wang Sansheng speaks very appropriately.
Nodding, the old man went in. Everyone laughed when he left. His arm is not very mobile; Step forward with your left foot, pull up with your right foot, pull forward step by step, and straighten up as if you were paralyzed. Rub into the field, throw the big shirt on the ground, and ignore how to laugh at him around.
"You said Sha Zilong apprentice, god gun? Ok, let you use a gun; What about me? " The old man is very simple and seems to want to do it for a long time.
Everyone is back, and it's no use beating the gongs no matter how hard the bears in the neighboring field fight.
"Three sticks in the gun?" Wang Sansheng depends on the old man's skill. Three sticks can't be picked up casually.
The old man nodded again and picked up the guy.
Wang Sansheng rolled his eyes and shook his gun. His face was ugly.
The old man's black eyes are deeper and smaller, like two fragrant heads. As the gun turned in front of him, Wang Sansheng suddenly felt uncomfortable. Those two black eyes seem to suck the spear head in! It's hard to get around. Everyone knows that the old man is really good. In order to avoid those eyes, Wang Sansheng played a gun skill. The old man's yellow beard moved: "Please!" Wang Sansheng slammed a gun and bowed forward. The tip of the gun pressed against the old man's throat and the tassel of the gun made a red spin. Suddenly, the old man's body came alive, leaned forward slightly, put down the gun, hung the front handle, and then took Wang Sansheng's hand. Bang, bang, bang, Wang Sansheng spilled his gun. Long-distance call Well, Wang Sansheng's face and chest are purple, so he grabbed his gun. A flower turned over with a gun, and the tip of the gun ran among the old people. The old man's eyes are bright and black; Gently bend your legs, cover your crotch under the handle, and hit the gun rod that you just want to take back on the handle; Shoot, and the gun fell to the ground again.
The outside is a piece of color. Wang Sansheng was sweating like a pig. He stopped getting a gun, and his eyes stood there. The old man dropped the guy, picked up the big shirt, still dragging his legs, but walked quickly. Big unlined upper garment on the arm, he came over and took Wang Sansheng once:
"I have to practice, man!"
"Don't go!" Wang Sansheng wiped a sweat: "You won't leave, your surname is Wang's suit! But one thing, do you dare to see Teacher Sha? "
"I just came to meet him!" The old man's dry face wrinkled as if he were laughing. "go; Take it; Dinner is on me! "
Wang Sansheng packed up his weapons, gave them to the juggler Asako II, and accompanied the old man out of the temple. There are many people behind him, and he scolds them.
"What's your old name?" He asked.
"Sun", the old man's words are as dry as people's. "love to practice; I've been wanting to see the sand dragon for a long time. " Sha Zilong won't kick your ass! Wang Sansheng said in his heart. He worked harder, but he didn't leave old Sunman behind. He could see that the old man's legs had been jumping in the boxing door; Hand in hand, soon. However, no matter how fast he is, Sha Zilong has no opponent. Knowing that old Sunman was going to suffer, he was very happy and slowed down.
"Where's Uncle Sun?"
"Between the rivers, a small place." Lao Sunman also meant well: "It's not easy to see kung fu after stabbing for a lifetime! Seriously, your hands are not bad! "
The sweat on Wang Sansheng's head came back again, and he had nothing to say.
When I arrived at the inn, my heart jumped, fearing that Teacher Sha was not at home, and I was in a hurry for revenge. He knows that the teacher doesn't care about this kind of thing, and his younger brothers have encountered many nails, but he believes that he will do it this time. He is a big fellow, not much better than those hairy children. Besides, there were roll calls at the temple fair. Can Mr. Sha still lose this face?
"Three wins," said Sha Zilong, looking at the sacred book on the bed. What can I do for you? Sansheng's face turned purple again, and his lips moved, unable to speak.
Sha Zilong sat up. "What's the matter, three wins?"
"I planted a fall!"
I only yawned for a little while, and Teacher Sha didn't say anything else.
Wang Sansheng was upset, but did not dare to attack; He must make the teacher excited: an old man named sun is waiting for the teacher outside the door; Shoot my gun, gun, twice! "He knows how heavy the word" gun "is in the teacher's mind. Without waiting for the order, he hurried out.
The guests came in and Sha Zilong waited outside. Sit down hand in hand and let Sansheng make tea. Sansheng hopes that the two old people will join hands at once, but they must make tea. Lao Sunman had nothing to say, so he looked at Sha Zilong with obscure eyes. Sand is very polite:
"If Sansheng has offended you, leave him alone. He is still young."
Lao Sunman was disappointed, but he also saw Sha Zilong's shrewdness. He doesn't know what to do. He can't judge a person's martial arts by shrewdness. "I'm going to learn marksmanship!" He couldn't help saying it.
Sha Zilong didn't pick up the fragments. Wang Sansheng came in with a teapot-anxious to see the two of them start work. He cooks in the pot whether the water is on or not.
"Sansheng," Sha Zilong picked up the tea bowl. "Go to a friend of Xiaoshun. See you in the sky and have dinner with Lao Sunman. "
"what!" Wang Sansheng's eyes almost fell out. Looking at Mr. Sha's face, he dared to say "Yes!" Go out and pout.
"It's not easy to teach an apprentice!" Lao Sunman said.
"I have confiscated an apprentice. Come on, this water won't boil! Go to the teahouse to drink and eat when you are hungry. " Sha Zilong picked up a satin purse from the table, with a snuff bottle at one end and some money at the other, hanging on his belt.
"No, I'm not hungry yet!" Lao Sunman was very determined, and the word "no" threw the braid from the shoulder to the back.
"Talk for a while."
"I'm here to learn marksmanship."
"Kung Fu has long been put aside," Sha Zilong pointed to his body. "The meat has been put away!"
"Never mind," Lao Sunman took a deep look at Teacher Asha. "Don't compete, teach me five tigers' broken soul gun. "
"Five Tiger Broken Soul Gun?" Sha Zilong smiled and said, "I forgot to clean it long ago! I forgot to clean it long ago! Tell you what, stay with me for a few days, let's go around and send some tolls before we leave. "
"I don't want to go shopping and I don't need money. I'm going to study art! " Old Sunman stood up. "I'll practice for you and see if you can learn enough!" A bend in the waist has reached the yard, scaring pigeons flying around. Pulling off the shelf, he made a fist check: his legs were fast, his hands trembled, one of his flying feet went up, and his pigtails floated in the air like kites falling from the sky; Soon, every shelf is stable, accurate and neat; Six trips back and forth, filling the yard, walking round and tight, being in one place, spirit in all directions. Holding a fist and shrinking, like a swallow flying in the yard suddenly returning to its nest.
"good! Good! " Sand dragon nodded and shouted on the steps.
"Teach me that gun!" Lao Sunman embraced the fuels.
Shazilong walked down the steps and clenched his fist: "Old Sunman, tell the truth; That gun and that set of guns are in the coffin with me, together! "
"Don't pass it on?"
"Don't pass it on!"
My beard and mouth moved for a long time, but I didn't say anything. I went to the house, grabbed my big blue shirt and pulled my leg: "I have stirred, goodbye!" " "
"Let's go after dinner!" Sha Zilong said.
Lao Sunman was speechless.
Sha Zilong sent the guests to the small door, then returned to the house and nodded at the big gun standing in the corner.
He went to Tianhui alone, fearing that Wang Sansheng would wait there. None of them went.
Neither Wang Sansheng nor Xiao Shun dares to perform in the Land Temple, and no one will win for Sha Long. On the contrary, Sha Zilong stumbled and didn't dare to hit an old man. That old man can kick a cow to death with one foot. Don't say that Wang Sansheng lost to him, and Sha Zilong is no match for him. However, Wang Sansheng finally met the old man, and Sharon didn't even insist. The "Magic Gun Shazilong" slowly seems to have been forgotten by people.
The night is quiet and sparsely populated. Sha Zilong closed the door and stabbed sixty-four times in one breath. Then, leaning on a gun, I looked at the stars in the sky and remembered the prestige of the wild shop and the wild forest. Sighed, slowly touched the cool gun with his fingers and smiled. "Don't let go! Don't cross! "
1, by:
Lao She's Broken Soul Gun
2. Create a background:
The ghost gun was written in 1935. At the beginning of the year, Lao She wanted to write a martial arts novel "Two Boxers", but for various reasons, she didn't write it, so she rewritten the most wonderful passage into a short story "Broken Soul Gun". The novel "Soul Gun" is recognized as the best short story of my uncle as well as "Micro God", but the text of "Soul Gun" is much more popular and easy to understand than "Micro God", and it is meaningful and thought-provoking ... The novel was written in the autumn of 1935. Just like the writing season, China was in an eventful autumn in the mid-1930s. At this time, the domestic civil war continued for years, and foreign Japanese invaders invaded China, and the muzzle was still hot. No matter the civil war or foreign invasion, the people are the hardest hit. In the smoke of years of war, people can't even satisfy the minimum quiet life, let alone personal ideals and revenge. Individuals living in turmoil and major historical changes can only dream of their own ideals and pursuits.
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