"I don't ask you for forgiveness, I just ask for a divorce." How miserable will an infatuated woman be in an extramarital affair? what do you think?

Love across marriage is like two people traveling halfway together, watching a lot of scenery together, snuggling up to each other in a strange village and being a short-lived couple, but after the trip, they are doomed to go their separate ways.

In such a relationship with more thoughts hidden from the beginning, who is weaker, man or woman, and who will be hurt more in the end? Two days ago, a reader asked me why a man is so cruel emotionally that he can turn around and join the family when love is just hot and leave her and her love behind.

Indeed, in many endless extramarital affairs, it is more likely that a woman will be injured in the end. It seems that a woman has been playing that passive role, passively accepting his pursuit, passively starting this love, passively being loved and in love, and then passively breaking up.

At first, women didn't dare to accept this feeling, and fell into a little bit in the warmth that men gradually improved. But when women begin to believe in this feeling and immerse themselves in it, men often walk to the door of leaving, so they get caught up in it and break up. Women who are still deeply in love can't accept it, and it is inevitable that they will feel that men are ruthless. However, it is not a rule that men and women pay more emotionally than men after betrayal. Women are easily fascinated by love, and men are infatuated with love.

"I am the one who is obsessed with extramarital affairs. I don't know why this woman I met was so shrewd and heartless, tried every means to come into my life, and then broke up with me so decisively. Are money and material things her only purpose? " A 44-year-old married male friend, whose wife broke up because of an affair, could not accept this fact.

After breaking up, those women encounter the means that men will break up and the pain that women will experience. He also encountered repeated entreaties, pestering, retaining, showing kindness, and even threats, but no matter how he promised, the woman would not look back.

Why did the woman play a more decisive role in the love he was deeply involved in, while the man became the last infatuation object?

In psychology, love and liking are different concepts, which should be distinguished from attachment, altruism and intimacy.

Ps: When people in love feel lonely, they will look for each other's company and comfort with a high degree of specificity. It's just that the person you like won't have this demand.

Altruism: People who really love someone will pay close attention to their emotional state and feel it is their bounden duty to make them happy. It is impossible to be completely altruistic to like someone.

Intimacy: People who fall in love with someone not only have a high degree of emotional dependence on each other, but also have a need for physical contact. There is still a distance between liking and not being really intimate.

Sometimes we tend to regard others' love for ourselves as love, but that person regards the love we give back as the same as him.

Two people can be together because they like each other, but not because they like each other. One pays for love, one is intoxicated by love, so the last one leaves and the other one is in deep trouble.

If you don't love enough, you will leave.

Those who can leave are because they don't love enough.

Some readers questioned, "He occasionally disappears and is indifferent to me, but we all have families. This is the last resort. He has a good personality and is very enthusiastic about me. He will care when I am sick, and he will comfort me when I am sad. Isn't this true love? "

True love may not be the beginning at first. Betraying the love pursued by marriage and betraying the love that cannot be promised is a purposeful hooligan behavior.

Secondly, if you really want to love, you won't disappear or be indifferent.

All excuses and reasons are just a cover-up. In a more rational person's mind, marriage is a fixed asset that he will not give up, and extramarital affairs are just his scattered investments. The two have incomparable benefits and must invest different energies.

Never imagine that a person who wants to stay married will really love you.

Walking in the emotional world of adults, people with happy endings are those who know what they want very well, such as men who know how to go home after playing enough, such as women who choose to break up ruthlessly after picking up cheap.

Finally, there is only one kind of people who suffer, not only men, but also women, but people who love deeply and mistake others' temporary love for love.

It's like a face lift. The one who won't let go is the one who was finally pulled by the rubber band. It hurts. Who could it be?

Whether men are more ruthless or women are more ruthless, I think this is a meaningless question. Maybe the man you just fell in love with is just your temporary preference. If you love him enough, you will leave. He may be heartless, but you are sad if you don't know how to get out.

Maybe it happens to be the woman you are willing to guard for a lifetime. It's just a short-term sustenance for you. When you get hurt and earn what you can, she will leave you and fly away. Maybe the woman is heartless, but if you don't know how to let go, you will be miserable.

Men are affectionate and interest-oriented, while women are infatuated and value the essence. Don't ask others for the truth by the standard you treat feelings.

Mature people, even if they choose immature feelings wrongly, should know how to mature in the end.

Finally, in all the extramarital affairs that break up, only those who don't want to let go suffer.