Want a 300-word fifth-grade diary! ! There are two longer jokes! ! And a classic reading article (less than 100 words)

I saw a puppy in the street today. Its leg is hurt. I took it home. My mother said it was unsanitary and asked me to throw it away. But I like it very much.

Its ears are yellow, its calves are thick and its stomach is big. How cute!

I didn't throw it away. I sent it to a stray dog shelter near my home, and my aunt at work praised me!

Joke 1:

I received a phone call I didn't know yesterday, with a southern accent. I'll call you by your first name when I come up!

"Mr. Wang, ah!"

"Who are you?"

"Your old friend."

"Who is it?"

"Old friend of Guangdong, don't you even recognize my voice?"

"And you are?"

"Oh, Mr. Wang, you are so forgetful!"

I'm really stumped by this question. I can't remember my voice, so I exchanged pleasantries for a long time. The other party just didn't say the name. Finally, I got impatient. "Forget it." I hung up the phone.

Then I felt something was wrong. Maybe he's a liar. If I recognize the voice of the other party as an old friend, the other party will try to tell stories to cheat money.

I dialed back the number shown just now.

I said, "You must be Lao Zhang from Guangdong."

"Yes, yes, yes, you see, I said you were so forgetful that you didn't even recognize my voice."

"Sorry, Lao Zhang, I thought someone was joking with me."

"Mr.wong, I want to go to Shenyang, invite you to dinner, it's my treat ..."

I asked, "Lao Zhang, how is your mother's cancer?"

The other party was shocked: "Oh ... the same."

"Ah, sick didn't also the way. Is your father's car accident closed? "

"Oh ... almost."

"Yes, everyone has gone, so don't worry too much about whether they pay or not."

"En"

I asked again, "Did you catch the hooligan who forced your wife to explode?"

........

"I know, I know."

I asked again, "Did your son have an operation without an asshole?"

......

The other party was silent for 10 seconds and hung up the phone.

Joke 2:

One day, the geography teacher asked the students, where does this river go?

A student suddenly stood up and sang: The river flows eastward.

The teacher ignored him and then said, how many stars are there in the sky?

That classmate sang again: the stars in the sky can participate in Beidou.

The teacher is short of breath: get out!

Student: Just leave.

The teacher said helplessly, are you sick?

Student: You have everything I have!

Teacher: Try again. .....

Student: shout when you see an uneven road!

Teacher: Do you believe I hit you?

Student: Do it when you should. ...

The teacher was angry: I told you to drop out of school!

Student: Wow, rushing into Kyushu.

Classic article:

The mountain is not high, and the fairy is famous. The water is not deep, and the dragon is the spirit. I am a humble room, but I am virtuous. The moss on the stage is green, and the curtain grass is green. There is no Ding Bai who laughs and has a university. You can tune the pipa and read Jin Dian. There is no confusion, and there is no complicated form. Zhuge Lu in Nanyang and Ting Yun Pavilion in West Shu. Kong Ziyun: "What's the matter?"