People are sometimes mean. Some people beat around the bush and laugh at others. If people don't share her common sense, she will push her luck again and again. Suddenly one day she was scolded.

I'm glad to answer your question: a bitch is melodramatic.

You must never be one of them-if you are suffering from one of these problems, find a solution, whether it is to go to therapy, be alone, or just talk to your partner to make sure that you will change.

First, I always want to win.

One of the deadly killers of love relationship is competition. I don't mean your competitive attitude that you can't stand losing in tennis, but your attitude towards love. You treat this relationship as a game and want to win. People who regard a love as a competition are always looking for advantages, gaining the upper hand and having some ideas that can control each other. If you feel that you can't tell someone something because you are afraid that he/she will attack you, then you are in a competitive relationship-but it won't last long.

Second, distrust.

There are two aspects of trust in the relationship between men and women. The first is to believe that the other person will not cheat or hurt you-believe that the other person trusts himself so much. On the other hand, make sure that no matter what you do or say, the other person will never leave you and will love you as always. If one of them uses the trust of the other to do unforgivable things, then the second layer of trust will no longer exist, and your relationship will be over-even if it is more than ten years.

Third, no communication.

Many people will keep silent about the things that make them depressed in their relationship. First, I don't want to hurt each other's hearts by speaking out, and second, I want to stay strong (refer to the second point, the common situation is: "If you don't know why I am crazy, then of course I won't tell you! This way may make the other side live in peace in the short term, but in the long run, it will gradually erode the emotional foundation of both sides and make them more fragile. Small contradictions pile up into bigger and bigger problems-because your other half is immersed in the illusion of happiness and ignores these contradictions that lead to problems. To make matters worse, I didn't realize that these would be reasons to make you depressed. Finally, silence reflects a lack of trust-as I said, a relationship is over.

Fourth, don't listen

Listening-listening attentively-is very rare. It is normal to hear that others seem to be accusing themselves and want to defend themselves, so we often interrupt others to defend ourselves, or only care about how to defend ourselves and don't listen carefully to what others say.

But the fact is, you should listen carefully to each other's conversation, and even listen to the implied meaning in their daily chanting, so as to find out his/her own dreams and wishes that are not very clear. If you don't reach this level, at least for the people you love, this is a problem.

Step 5 spend money without restraint

This is a profound lesson for me-it directly led to the end of my 7-year love relationship. When you are single, you can buy anything you want at any time, regardless of what will happen in the future. It's unwise, but only you will bear the consequences. When you have a long-term relationship with someone, this way of spending money is unrealistic. Your spouse-and your children (if you have or plan to have children)-will bear the consequences of your reckless consumption.

Therefore, you'd better develop good consumption habits, focusing on daily necessities. If there is a surplus, discuss with each other how to make the best use of the money.

At present, there are more and more contradictions between men and women caused by consumption problems. Because more and more people choose financial separation even after marriage. This arrangement is understandable in itself, but it is counterproductive. Financial independence requires more exchanges and participation between the two sides. If you think it's your own money and others have no right to interfere, then your relationship is doomed to failure.

Six, afraid of breaking up

People who enjoy a happy relationship don't worry about breaking up. If you are worried, your relationship is in crisis. But usually the problem stems from this fear itself. Because this not only shows that you can't win the distrust of the other party, but also shows that you lack confidence in yourself-you are worried that you are not good enough and no one really has reason to want to be with you. Sooner or later your spouse will wake up and leave you.

So you spend more energy to maintain the charm of this relationship than to shape your inner world and make yourself confident. With all due respect, this will not only satisfy you, but also please your lover.

Seven, too dependent.

Support and dependence in gender relations is a difficult degree to grasp. If you depend on your spouse-that is, you can't live without him/her at all-then you have crossed the line. Your other half is under great pressure now, and taking care of you in all aspects will make him dissatisfied. If you always expect the other person to maintain this relationship, but you do nothing-I mean financial and emotional support here, then you have a difficult lesson.

Note: I'm not saying that you need to share the living expenses-I mean that if you can't contribute the living expenses, nothing else will. Then this relationship is not normal, and of course it will not have a good ending.

Eight, looking forward to happiness

The sign of a bad relationship is that one or both parties expect to make the other happy or hope that the other party will make themselves happy. This is an unrealistic expectation for yourself and both parties-no one can make you happy except yourself-but it is unrealistic to regard it as an expectation of sexual relations.

Getting along is not just happiness. Many times you will not feel happy or even should not feel happy. When you feel lost, miserable, depressed or sad, it is more important to have someone to lean on than to be happy all the time. If you expect the other person to make you happy-or worse, you are depressed because you can't make the other person happy-then your relationship can't stand setbacks.

Nine, never argue.

Occasionally, a benign argument is necessary. Argument can solve some trivial matters to some extent and prevent them from being integrated into big problems. But equally, venting anger in a quarrel is a very normal part of human emotional composition. Your relationship must be strong enough to accommodate the real you, not just your good side.

One of the reasons why couples don't quarrel is that they are afraid of conflict-this reflects the lack of trust and fear between them. This is terrible. Another reason is that they think anger is unreasonable and futile. They think that quarreling is a manifestation of breaking up, not an extremely natural part of the development of sexual relations. When quarreling makes both sides feel unhappy, you can let them say something that they are both surprised-this can prevent them from tolerating each other until an irreparable fight breaks out.

Ten, think simple/think too hard.

It is said that there are two views on love in sexual relations that are very problematic. One is that the relationship between men and women should be simple If you really love someone and plan to stay with him/her for life, it will come naturally. Another attitude is that getting along is troublesome-it is precisely because of trouble that we should strive to get it.

Both views will make you too lazy to run this relationship. You don't bother because you think it should come naturally, so you don't need to work hard, or you think it is a trouble in itself. It won't be easy if you work hard. Under two attitudes, you will soon be exhausted-one is because the problems you ignore at present have not solved themselves as you expected, and the other is that the problems you have been creating make you unable to cope. The feelings that are too thoughtful may be affected by the above attitudes, but the feelings that don't spend a little thought are not much better.