A complete collection of jokes about the happy moment of the mountain

1. One day, Aries and a lion walked into the restaurant.

what did the boss say you wanted? The sheep said,' A set meal. Thank you.'

The boss asked again,' Isn't your lion hungry?'

the sheep said,' no.

the boss refused to give up and asked, really?

The sheep said yes

The boss was a little unwilling to ask,' Think again, is it really unnecessary?

The sheep growled impatiently: Do you think I can still be here if it is hungry?

2. A woman disguised as a man went to join the army and had her period on the battlefield. The company commander saw her and asked her to be carried away on a stretcher. She said nothing, and the company commander was anxious. He took off her pants and said, "What's nothing, JB was blown up and said nothing?" ！”

3. One night, the mother coaxed her 1-year-old son to sleep alone in his own room. The little guy just wanted his mother to sleep with him. The helpless mother said, "Are you ashamed? Such a big man needs his mother to sleep with him!"

"Dad needs you to sleep with him every day when he is older!" The son said confidently.

4. When I saw her face with shyness and lovely expression, I couldn't help but feel a flutter in my heart and asked in a low voice, "Do you ... do you really like me?" She buried her head and said, "Guess!" "I like it ~" Her face is redder and her head is lower. "Guess again!"

5. In the bus, a standing pregnant woman said to the man sitting next to her, Don't you know I'm pregnant? I saw the man nervously say, "The child is not mine! ！”

6. A man was about to jump off a building, and his wife shouted: Honey, don't be impulsive, we still have a long way to go! After hearing this, the man swooped down. The policeman said, "You really shouldn't threaten him like this! ！”

7. The child is thinking about "heredity and environment". Mother interjected: "This question is very simple. Everyone knows that if a child is like a father, it is genetic." Like a neighbor, that is the environment. "

8. A couple went to register for marriage. "Have you had a premarital examination?" "Checked, his house. The cars are all gone. " "I mean to go to the hospital." The young woman blushed and whispered, "Yes, it's a boy."

9. Xiaodi MM has a swimming lesson for the first time. One hour later, she said to the coach, "I think, is that enough for today?" "Why?" "I really can't drink any more."

1. After driving Wukong away, the Tang Priest met a monster again, so he had to spell a hoop to call Wukong back for help. Soon, a loud voice came from the air: Sorry, the subscriber you called is not in the service area, please try again later.

11. A gorilla came to the zoo. It was so ugly that tourists threw up at everyone. One day I went and I vomited; Another day, you went and the orangutan threw up.

12. In Chinese class, the teacher called a sleepy classmate to answer questions. The classmate was in a daze and couldn't say anything ... The teacher said, "Can you?" I won't scream too! " The classmate: "cheep."

13. The child stole the parrot from the brothel home. As soon as he entered the door, the parrot called: Move! Seeing his mother, he shouted: The boss has changed, too! Seeing his sister, he shouted, Miss has changed! Seeing his father, he shouted, I'm still an old customer!

14. The mouse was particularly depressed without a girlfriend. Finally, a bat agreed to marry him, and the mouse was very happy. Others laughed at his lack of vision. Mouse: What do you know? She is a stewardess at least.

15. Xiao Zhiruo: Mom, why does the aunt who gives medicine wear a mask?

mom: the medicine I gave you is delicious, and the dean is afraid that they will steal it.

Xiao Zhiruo: Wearing masks for those uncles with knives is because they are afraid of having dinner, right?

16. The driver who applied for a driver's license lost his job after taking care of the marriage certificate, because he habitually asked, "Are you doing it for entertainment or business?"

17. A woman is ugly and can't get married, hoping to be trafficked. Finally, my dream came true, but I couldn't sell it for half a month. The kidnapper sent it back, and she insisted on not getting off the bus. The kidnapper gritted his teeth and stamped his foot: Go, don't want the car! ! !

18.2 years ago, dad held you waiting for the bus. Everyone laughed at the ugly child and dad cried. An old man selling bananas patted his father and said, "Stop crying, big brother, and give a banana to the monkey!"! Poor thing, I'm so hungry that I have no hair. "