Classic sentences expressing humor and wit

Classic sentences that express humor

Classic sentences that express humor can often be seen in many aspects of our daily lives. Some of the more classic sentences are also used to express humor. Many of us can understand the relevant meanings. The following are classic sentences that express humor. Classic sentences expressing humor 1

1. Marriage means wearing a cotton coat for freedom. It is inconvenient to move around, but it will be very warm.

2. If you push me again, I will pretend to be dead for you!

3. The beauty of a woman lies in being so stupid that she has no regrets; the beauty of a man lies in being able to tell lies. Hell in the daytime.

4. He is just a basin of water, poured into your pile of rice. After a few years, the clear water turns into mellow wine, and you become a pile of discarded rotten rice. It is not useless. It can also be used to feed pigs.

5. Just because we have a holiday, you can’t treat me as a holiday.

6. Sighing is the biggest waste of time, and crying is the biggest waste of energy.

7. You are calm because you are not afraid of death. I am calmer than you because I am not afraid of your death.

8. Those who have money are uncles! But those who do not pay back the money are even worse!

9. Only when you keep your head down can you stand out.

10. In life, first be laughed at by others, then laugh at others, and then you will smile.

11. Sometimes I am as optimistic as shit, always thinking that I can shake the world.

12. Life is like, when you begin to understand many of the great principles of life, you don’t have much life left.

13. Only when the belt of your pants loses its belt do you understand what dependence is.

14. Many people say that marriage is the tomb of love, but it is better for love to be buried in peace than to die on the streets.

15. Women must be kind to themselves. Once you are exhausted, there will be other women spending your money, living in your room, sleeping with your husband, and beating your children!

16. The so-called growth is to hear "turbulent waves" With these four words, I can no longer think of the sea.

17. If you get angry for one minute, you will lose sixty seconds of happiness.

18. She wants me to turn dirt into gold, and I hope she will treat gold like dirt.

19. If you don’t risk your life now, your life will play tricks on you in the future!

20. I don’t need everyone to nod when I do things. I live just to make those who don’t like me even more unhappy.

21. A small pot is easy to heat up, and a small amount is easy to cause anger. The bigger the space in your heart, the more prosperous the flowers will grow.

22. If your job is yours, a machine can do it too. Then one day, you will also become a machine.

23. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes it.

24. If one day I go down. Remember, I'm coming for you.

25. You can love the wrong person three or five times, but you cannot love the same person three or five times. Taking the wrong path may be due to bad luck, but always jumping into the same pit is mentally retarded.

26. Others look good when they smile, but you are different. You look funny.

27. You are at a loss that I can’t imagine, and I am insignificant that you can’t imagine.

28. When God closes a door for you, he will always leave many unlocking phone numbers on the wall for you.

29. Those obstacles that you can’t overcome are all because of your short legs!

30. If you don’t believe it, I’ll slap you on the wall and you can’t even pick it off! Classic sentences expressing humor 2

1. I feel that the brightest smile in my life is probably dedicated to my mobile phone and computer screen.

2. Others don’t know whether you are doing well or not, but when you gain weight, everyone will know.

3. I don’t mind if you lie to me. What I mind is that your lies can’t fool me.

4. What does death mean? Probably getting pissed off 10,000 times a day but still not quitting.

5. After being with you for so long, I finally found that you have grown up like a human being.

6. I’m not a prince, so why do girls always think they should be a princess when they meet me!

7. Some people appear well-informed on the surface, but behind the scenes they have never even seen Peppa Pig.

8. Those who are good-looking and like to eat are foodies, and those who are not so good-looking but still like to eat are called foodies!

9. I discovered a problem. I like to talk to good-looking people. No wonder I always talk to myself.

10. Am I the person you love the most? Why don’t you speak?

11. Life is like breathing. Exhaling is to get out a breath, and inhaling is to get a breath.

12. After taking the English listening test, I realized a truth: some words should only be spoken to those who understand them.

13. If I hadn’t been able to beat you, I would have fallen out with you long ago.

14. Sometimes life is like a computer. If it crashes, it crashes without any negotiation.

15. I really envy those people who have stories. Unlike me, one word "handsome" can last a lifetime.

16. Don’t expect to lose weight. Bajie has traveled thousands of miles and still hasn’t lost weight. Moreover, he is also a vegetarian.

17. Every time I buy a drink, I say thank you for your patronage. One day when I was taking an exam, I suddenly couldn’t write the word “hui”, so I opened the drink next to me. I went crazy at that time. Have another bottle!

18. I envy those who can be with the people they like. Unlike me, I have long been surrounded by people who like me.

19. One day you will meet a good girl. She doesn’t want your house, your car, let alone your diamonds and your money. Of course she doesn’t want you either!

20. There is a piece of clothing in every girl’s wardrobe: I used to buy it because I was so poor, but now I think it is ugly.

21. What’s wrong if I don’t have any money in my wallet? There is no fish in the fish-flavored shredded pork!

22. Life has always been tight, but today I finally had a luxury and spent 30% of my battery on taking selfies.

23. If you realize early that you are not that important in the hearts of others, you will be much happier.

24. As an optimistic person in the eyes of others, it is probably because you are hanging and dying, and everyone thinks you are swinging on a swing.

25. There are thousands of clothes in the wardrobe, but only the new ones are the best!

26. Life is not just about the present, there are also invitations from your ex.

27. Other people’s faces are 70% determined by nature and 30% by dressing up. Your face is 10% determined by nature and 90% by filters.

28. Ever since I saw your household registration photo, I realized how easy it is to give up someone you like.

29. When God closes a door for you, he will always leave many unlocking phone numbers on the wall for you.

30. The left side of the head is filled with flour and the right side of the head is filled with water. Whenever I think about a problem, my head is full of paste.

31. If you are willing to peel off my heart layer by layer, you will go to jail, I tell you.

32. There is no such thing as a banquet that lasts forever, but if you treat me, I can eat more with you.

33. Face is something external to the body, you can want it or not. Money is a necessary thing, you have to have it.

34. Look, the rainbow over there is looking down on me, because I am brighter than it.

35. I really don’t want to look down on you with my toes, but you forced me to do this.

36. If you are still young after visiting brothels, please use Huiren Shenbao.

37. The earth is in motion, and a person will not be in an unlucky position forever.

38. The fact that you cannot tolerate me does not mean that your mind is too narrow, but that my personality is too great.

39. Being ugly is not your fault, it’s just that God took a nap. You must have the courage to face everything.

40. I am really cruel and naive. I think about how to harm others all day long.

41. The past is no match for the good times of gathering and separation.

42. It is better to hit a wall than to be in a wall at home.

43. There are no unchanging promises, only endless lies.

44. Don’t go that far. Who guarantees that you will survive until that day?

45. Are you tired? Just be tired, comfort is reserved for the dead.

46. In ancient times, one sword conquered the world, but now one humble person leads the world.

47. Who can be as firm in their feelings for me as they are for RMB!

48. Since I bought insurance, I no longer have to look at the traffic lights when crossing the road!

49. When I woke up, I thought I had grown taller, but it turned out that the quilt was lying horizontally.

50. We have been practicing smiling, and finally we have become people who dare not cry. Classic sentences to express humor 3

Humorous sentences

1. Embarrassment , wearing a mask and hat to buy late-night snacks, but still got recognized: What should the beauty have to eat?

2. Don’t come to me if you have nothing to do, and don’t come to me if you have something to do!

3. I sincerely want to make money into my hobby.

4. Your shortness is lifelong, but my fatness is temporary.

5. Every winter, the place outside the bed is far away, the place beyond the reach of the hand is a foreign country, going to the toilet is a business trip, and going to work is going abroad.

6. You can really do a lot of things when you wake up early, such as sleeping again.

7. No matter how bad my scores are, they are all my own, and I don’t mind them!

8. It’s good to be a foodie. You forget everything while eating.

9. Lower your worth, make your life easier, and spend every day happily.

10. If I ride a horse, you can call me the groom. If I drive, you can call me the coachman. Then if I am the accountant, what should you call me?

11. My parents said that you should never fall in love when you go to school, as if someone would like me.

12. Don’t say that others have brain disease. The prerequisite for brain disease is that you must have a brain.

13. Long time no see. I wonder how ugly you are.

14. Although I have no books, no notes, no classes, and no review, I have a heart that does not want to fail.

15. I found that whenever I take a test, I have a super power to successfully avoid all the correct answers.

16. My dear, I just want to say to you: I love you, and the happiest time in my life is the time I spend with you.

17. If you are willing to peel off my heart layer by layer, you will go to jail, I tell you.

18. I hate the nonsense they tell me about "Why did you give up treatment?", which makes me seem like I can still be saved.

19. Even if you beat me to death, you haven’t used a honey trap yet!

20. I seem to be allergic to paper and feel uncomfortable every time I do homework.

21. Two lovers are chatting. The woman asked: Dear, people say that women in love will become stupid. Do you think I am stupid? Affectionate man: Silly, you are so stupid, how could I think you are stupid?

22. If I can’t close my eyes during class, can I still hold my face up?

23. If you suffer a loss, do not drink water, otherwise you will become dirty.

24. If I make a mistake at school, the teacher asks my parents to come. Is it okay if my parents are not here? The teacher said yes. The next day, I carried my three-year-old brother-in-law on my back and embarked on the road of no return.

25. I know you don’t take me seriously. In fact, I never take you seriously.

26. If there is an afterlife, I hope I will no longer be so handsome (beautiful) and be more ordinary.

27. There are many ways to destroy friendship, and the most radical one is to borrow money.

28. You have your looks, and I have my shorts. They are not very short, but they are cool.

29. A lover will eventually become a piece of meat, and a pig will appear in the eyes of the lover. If the love between two people lasts for a long time, it will not be about pork, pork and meat. I wish to be a winged bird in heaven, and a pig with a tail on earth.

30. It was winter, so I didn’t want to go to class and asked my roommates to ask for leave. The next day, news of my heat stroke spread throughout the campus.

31. If you cry, I would like to be the toilet paper in your hand; if you wake up, I would like to be the eye droppings in your eyes; if you are so hot, I would like to be the only cloth left on your body. Three feet.

32. Don’t bet your youth on tomorrow. If you lose, there will be no tomorrow.

33. We cannot extend the length of life, but we can broaden the width of life. It means: We can no longer grow taller, but we can gain unlimited fat.

34. I make you look thin when I am fat, lest I make you look ugly when I am thin.

35. If fat could be sold for money, I would have been on the Forbes rich list.

36. I hope everyone will pursue stars rationally and not break their bodies because of me.

37. The typhoon is coming. Please close the doors and windows. If I am blown to your house, I will not leave.

38. One day you will meet a good girl. She doesn’t want your house, your car, let alone your diamonds and your money. Of course she doesn’t want you either!

39. Don’t go too far when posting selfies on WeChat Moments. We have all met before.

40. Do you smell my malice? Give you a sock to feel it.

41. Salary is like a big aunt. It comes once a month and disappears in about a week.

42. Before I met you, I really didn’t realize that I had the problem of judging people by their appearance.

43. There are two things in the world that can lean on the glass, one is the gecko and the other is the head teacher.

44. The most wonderful thing in the world is eating meat. Never betray, never cheat, eat a pound, grow a pound, and always treat each other sincerely.

45. The math teacher led us to swim in the sea of ??learning. He came ashore and we drowned.

46. Your mother made you so beautiful, not to let you be ruined by others, but to let you ruin others.

47. You say I am short, that’s a joke, but you are someone who can never hold your head up in front of me.

48. There are always a few pictures of Grandpa Mao every month. His face changes from red to green, from green to yellow, then to blue, then to purple, then to blue, and finally leaves me. .

49. Because I broke up with the bed in the morning, the bed is now very cold to me.

50. The greatest pain in life is going through wind and rain but not seeing the rainbow, and then catching a cold.

51. Don’t look down on fat people. If you lose weight, you will look stunning.

52. Please don’t call me an otaku in the future. Please call me a closed home. Please don’t call me a homebody, please call me Madame Curie.

53. Give me a chance and I will pounce on you without hesitation.

54. I love you till the end of time! I look forward to seeing your face day and night! I just want to be with you in my life! I will never regret it for the rest of my life! Read the first word of each sentence together!

55. My sister never speaks human words, what she always talks about is myths.

56. Don’t send me any holiday blessings during the Chinese New Year. A red envelope can make me feel your sincerity.

57. Violence cannot solve problems, but it can relieve anger.

58. You don’t like me. This is a disease. It must be cured. It must be cured.

59. You can’t be friends with someone who has few eyebrows. If you take a photo, you won’t be allowed to have them whitened, because as soon as they are whitened, her eyebrows will disappear.

60. I think back then, I also had a seed of infatuation, but it was struck by lightning and killed.

61. Being in a daze, if done well, is called deepness. If you don't do it well, you're more likely to fall asleep.

62. There are many things that you can’t figure out at the time. Don’t worry. If you think about it after a while, you won’t be able to remember it.